“No, I’m serious and responsible. I’m patient and deeply considerate. I even have good self-control. I’ll wait until you give permission. I’m good at waiting too.”
I somehow unfolded absurd self-praise to appeal that I was a decent guy unlike other bastards. Kkotmoa, who didn’t know what dark intentions I harbored, giggled with a flushed face. I insisted on sleeping at Kkotmoa’s house every weekend, and since I could secretly kiss him when he fell asleep, I thought I could endure it for now. We just decided to date, so there was no need to lose points over something pointless.
“It’s time for Jaea to come out. We shouldn’t go around today, we should go straight there.”
“…You, knew about that?”
“A place that takes 15 minutes by bus, but takes 40 minutes every time we go—how could I not know? I also like the feeling of just driving around so…”
“You like driving? Should we tell Kang Junwoo to pick up Samyukshippal tomorrow and go for a drive? No wait, he’s already ten years old, Samyukshippal should know how to come home by himself. Let’s tell him to come home on his own starting tomorrow. They say overprotecting is bad for kids.”
Baseless talk came out on its own. If he was worried about Samyukshippal coming home alone, there were many ways—have Kang Junwoo do it, have my secretary do it, mobilize professional personnel.
“Our Jaea knew how to come home alone since first grade. Back then I couldn’t pick him up because of my part-time job.”
“That’s good. See, he really grew up well. Then starting tomorrow immediately…”
“That’s why, if possible, I want to pick him up every single day at least until he graduates elementary school. Holding an umbrella on rainy days, smiling on sunny days. I think it would be nice to drive around with you like this every day while picking up Jaea.”
I can’t win against Kkotmoa.
No, I don’t want to win against Kkotmoa.
Even though I want to reign as a victor over everyone, if you’re happy, I want to be an eternal loser only to you.
On some affectionate day in flower-blooming March, I got a lover more beautiful and lovely than flowers.
The moment I stopped the car in front of Gukmin Elementary School, I saw Samyukshippal rushing out through the school gate with his friends. Samyukshippal, who discovered my car, said something to his friends, then soon waved goodbye to them and immediately ran over, climbing into the back seat to greet us.
“Invincible hyung-ah, hello. Thank you for picking me up today too—huh? Invincible hyung-ah, are you sick? Your face is bright red. Do you have a fever?”
“Starting today, hyung decided to let me call him lover, what do you think, Jaea?”
Kkotmoa lifted my hand that he was holding up to show off to Samyukshippal.
“Wow, really? Then should we have a party today? Alright, meat! Meat!”
“Not meat today, we’re eating what your hyung-ah wants to eat. Samyukshippal, what does your hyung like the most? Since it’s the first day your hyung-ah is letting me call him lover, I want to look good so give me some information.”
“My hyung-ah? Mm… Ah! Ramyeon! When we grill meat at home, even when I tell my hyung-ah to try it, he only eats one or two pieces and always just eats ramyeon. He likes ramyeon the most!”
Haah… just what kind of life did he live during the time I wasn’t there? This isn’t like that story where mother said she didn’t like jajangmyeon… I was at a loss for words.
“So last year on hyung-ah’s birthday, I saved up my allowance and bought him ramyeon as a birthday present! The big pack with five in it!”
Ramyeon as a birthday present… But from Samyukshippal’s perspective, he really thought Kkotmoa liked ramyeon the most, so he saved up his meager allowance to buy ramyeon as a birthday present. As much as Samyukshippal’s innocent and pure heart was commendable and admirable, my heart ached. I was choked up. Because after receiving a five-pack of ramyeon as a birthday present, Kkotmoa must have smiled brighter than anyone in the world and been happy.
“Samyukshippal, are you stupid? Who in the world likes ramyeon the most? Your hyung-ah filled up on ramyeon because he wanted to feed all the meat to you.”
“Huh? Really? But I really love ramyeon?”
“That’s because you’re young. Don’t you know that even the most delicious food gets tiring if you eat it every day?”
“Whaaat… no way… Hyung-ah, is it true? You didn’t like ramyeon the most?”
“…Stop talking nonsense and just drive properly.”
At Kkotmoa’s slightly prickly scolding, the car filled with slightly awkward air. Even Samyukshippal, who always chattered away, was strangely quiet. When I glanced at the rearview mirror, Samyukshippal was buried in his seat with an expression of deep contemplation, wearing an expression unsuited to a ten-year-old. I was curious what he was thinking so hard about with that small head.
“…What do you want to eat?”
I timidly asked while glancing at the passenger seat, wanting to buy what Kkotmoa wanted to eat. I wanted to show only bold and cool sides, but my mouth that needlessly brought up an uncomfortable truth was unruly, so I had no choice but to timidly watch his reaction. I, who don’t even watch my parents’ reactions, the only person I watch is Kkotmoa. Because I like him too much.
“Meat.”
“Yesss!”
As soon as Kkotmoa answered somewhat indifferently, Samyukshippal shouted from the back seat with both arms in a fighting pose. It seemed like we ate meat at least twice a week, I wondered if he didn’t get tired of it. But if my flower wants to eat it.
“Steak, beef, veal, pork, lamb, duck, horse meat, turkey, chicken, seafood meat, which kind?”
“Samgyeopsal.”
“Okay, steak order received.”
“…Then why did you ask?”
“I only asked, I don’t think I said we’d eat that. On today, the first day with my lover, I want to create an atmosphere and drink wine with steak. Well, there’s a bonus appendix but I’ll graciously accept it.”
“What bonus appendix? When you can’t even drink.”
“But I can drink wine a little?”
At my words, Kkotmoa looked straight ahead while puffing out his cheeks and pouting his lips. It was an expression that seemed displeased about something. I didn’t want to disappoint my lover from the first day we decided to date. Of course, his sulking expression was ticklishly cute, but I had plans for tonight that I’d been thinking about, so I wanted to match his mood as much as possible. To realize tonight’s plan, Samyukshippal’s role was absolutely crucial. My brain started working brilliantly.
Maybe because I did car racing, my driving was actually on the rough side. That’s why even our mom absolutely refused to ride in my car after riding once. Sometimes when Kang Junwoo is stressed, he asks me to drive on the racing course, but when he gets out, that bastard pours out a whole bucket of curses at me, calling me all sorts of bastards, saying I was determined to kill him. And here I was, becoming the world’s number one model driver, driving safely. Just because Kkotmoa and Samyukshippal were in my car.
“You said you’d drink wine with steak.”
When I parked in the parking lot of the samgyeopsal restaurant we’d been to together several times, Kkotmoa said teasingly.
“What can I do when my lover wants samgyeopsal without a second of hesitation?”
“…You’re cheesy.”
Kkotmoa, who spoke while wrinkling his nose bridge, got out of the passenger seat first. He said he didn’t hate shameless, but he seemed to hate cheesy. But I still couldn’t distinguish well between affection and cheesiness. Even when I spoke with affectionate intentions, he took it as cheesy, so I was rather more flustered. Kkotmoa took care of Samyukshippal and went in first, and I followed while sending a message to Kang Junwoo. Among those around me, no one could match Kang Junwoo when it came to dating.
[What’s the difference between affection and cheesiness that a lover talks about]
[Tuition is a million won]
[Are you a punk?]
[Tuition is a million won]
[Hey]
[Tuition is a million won]
There was no way to beat the crazy mutt repeating the same words like a parrot. Even talking to a wall wouldn’t be this frustrating. The crazy son of a bitch would only open his mouth once a million won was deposited. I don’t know why he’s doing this when he’s someone who spends money without lack. Of course, normally I would never fall for such a flimsy trick, but right now when I was desperate to look good to Kkotmoa, I had no time to consider such things.
[Do Hyeondo-nim has deposited one million (1,000,000) won into Kang Junwoo-nim’s account]
A reply came as soon as I sent the message notification.
[Oh thanks for the allowance kekekekeke The affection and cheesiness that a lover feels is a hair’s breadth difference keke When affection from dating rookies like you becomes excessive it becomes cheesy keke I doubt a squid bastard would know that hair’s breadth though]
[Fuck, don’t tell me this is a million won answer]
[Stupid bastards always blame the teacher]
[You punk bastard, do you want to die?]
[What can I do but endure having a lacking student as a pupil *sigh* Just change one word in what you want to say to something ordinary, you idiot]
What kind of dog talk is this now? Of course a dog bastard would speak dog talk, but I couldn’t understand it at all. In times like this, asking outright is the best strategy. I made eye contact with Kkotmoa who was guided to a seat and told him to order first, then moved to the bathroom while sending a message.
[What can I do when my lover wants samgyeopsal without a second of hesitation?]
[Which word should I change to something ordinary here?]
I sent two in succession but the reply I received wasn’t the model answer I wanted.
[Holy shit crazy are you dating Kkotmoa? Did you confess? Wow fuck when? Jackpot holy shit crazy]
I don’t know why me dating Kkotmoa is “holy” and “shit” and “crazy” and “jackpot” and “holy shit.” And I didn’t even mention Kkotmoa but I don’t know how he figured it out. Well, it was unreasonable from the start to try to understand the thoughts of a dog, not a person. Anyway, I couldn’t figure out which word I should change in those words.
What can I do when my lover wants samgyeopsal without a second of ‘hesitation’?
What can I do when my lover wants ‘meat’ without a second of hesitation?
What can I do when my lover wants samgyeopsal without ‘a moment’ of hesitation?
What can I do when my lover wants samgyeopsal without a second of ‘deliberation’?
I thought of changing various words but couldn’t figure out what the answer was. Meanwhile, the crazy dog bastard was continuously sending messages back and forth about whether I was really dating or not. After several more exchanges, because it seemed Kkotmoa would wait too long, I sold out Kang Junwoo’s oldest hyung and finally got a reply.
