At the sunlight pouring over his eyes, Haeyoung slightly frowned. Even though he’d slept deeply without dreaming for the first time in a while, his body felt heavy. With his head feeling like it would split, he rubbed his face against the white bedding.
“Ugh.”
Even when he buried his face in the pillow while letting out a pained groan, the headache didn’t easily fade. Every time he squirmed while clutching the pillow, rustling sounds could be heard. It was then that he felt a sense of dissonance in the texture of the bedding wrapped around his body.
The bedding in his studio apartment was made of a slightly lighter material than this. Did I not go home yesterday? Haeyoung lifted his heavy eyelids and looked around.
The familiar-shaped black nightstand beside the bed came into view. Haeyoung, who’d been scared thinking he’d entered some lodging facility when he didn’t even have money, let out a sigh of relief. That was only for a moment.
“Ah.”
A low sigh flowed from his mouth. No, wait a minute.
His drowsy mind became clear in an instant. This wasn’t the time to feel relieved by the familiar bedside. The moment he bolted upright, he squeezed his eyes shut at the pain piercing through his head.
He raised his hand, held his head, and dropped his head down. After the headache subsided, he slowly opened his eyes and saw the clean white duvet cover without a single stain. With his head bowed, Haeyoung rolled his eyes to look around. However, as expected, predictions never missed.
“Why…”
Of all places, why Seonwoo hyung’s house? He rubbed his face with the hand that had been clutching his head. While dry-washing his face, his mind worked hard to recall last night.
After eating dinner, he went to drink for a second round and made a drunken scene to Hajin noona there. Ah, fuck. When did he act tough saying he was fine, and he’d almost cried remembering the last day he saw Seonwoo hyung. The trigger was probably hearing that it was Cha Seonwoo who’d taken care of him with porridge and medicine when he was sick.
He didn’t want to cry, so he leaned against the table and swallowed his emotions. He didn’t know how much time passed while struggling to hold onto his wandering consciousness. At some point, someone called for him, and because it was Cha Seonwoo’s voice, he reflexively lifted his head.
And… and then.
‘Then why did you give money to my dad?’
‘Because I didn’t want you to have a hard time. I’m sorry. I won’t do that. I won’t do it anymore, Haeyoung-ah.’
Fuck. At the scene that flashed through his mind for a moment, Haeyoung covered his eyes with his head in his hands. In the darkened field of vision, he silently chewed and swallowed rough curses. In his mind, which had already lost its sleepiness, only the words he’d blurted out were being replayed clearly.
Even if drunk, there are things you can say and things you can’t. Haeyoung didn’t want to say those words to Seonwoo. It was embarrassing, and above all, he couldn’t be sure if it was right to blame him.
In any case, wasn’t what he did purely from goodwill? The fact that he couldn’t repay what Seonwoo had given was his own problem no matter how much he agonized over it. As Haeyoung mulled over the words he couldn’t have brought up while sober, he suddenly recalled how Hajin often told him he had strong pride.
…But this time, he’d decided to stay by his side even putting aside his pride. A gentle voice fell on Haeyoung’s ears as he let out a sigh.
“You’re awake?”
Haeyoung, who’d flinched and shuddered at the shoulders, slowly lifted his head. Cha Seonwoo stood obliquely in front of the half-open door, looking at him. As soon as their gazes met, the eyes that had been gently curved formed a complete arc.
“…Hyung.”
“Yeah?”
Haeyoung, who belatedly called him, lowered the hand that had been rubbing his face and asked.
“Why am I here?”
“Don’t you remember?”
Seonwoo smiled broadly and tilted his head.
Don’t I remember? If he was asking what happened last night, of course he remembered. The fact that Haeyoung had never once blacked out even after drinking heavily was something Cha Seonwoo knew well.
It would have been better if he hadn’t remembered. However, he clearly remembered whining like a child while caught in Seonwoo’s hands. Instead of the scene he wanted to erase, his memories after that were hazy.
“I remember. Though it’s spotty.”
Haeyoung awkwardly rolled his eyes and looked up at Seonwoo. He tilted his head with a smiling face at his answer.
Thud, Seonwoo’s head touched the doorframe. At the gaze that seemed to be waiting for the words to continue, Haeyoung unnecessarily raised his hand and fidgeted with the back of his neck.
“You could’ve just put me in a taxi. Even when I’m drunk, I find my way home on my own.”
“I know. I do know, but…”
His upturned lips gradually faded. He watched Haeyoung with a somewhat dry expression.
“We’re close hyung and dongsaeng, right, Haeyoung-ah?”
Thud, the sound of a heavy object plummeting rang in his ears.
Haeyoung instinctively rolled his eyes but couldn’t find anything that had fallen. Somehow, he felt like his breath was completely blocked. While he was awkwardly avoiding his gaze, Seonwoo continued speaking gently.
“I was worried about sending you home alone drunk, so bringing you to my place isn’t strange.”
A persuasive voice echoed in the room. However, what had persuasiveness wasn’t just the voice.
A close dongsaeng was drunk so out of worry he brought him home—that was the gist of what Seonwoo was saying, and at first glance, there was nothing strange about it. When he was in college, he often witnessed friends who lived alone collecting those who were completely drunk. The problem was that they weren’t ordinary friends like them…
There was no room for rebuttal from his position, having been the one to suggest staying comfortable first. Yoon Haeyoung nodded pretending to be calm.
“Did you also… change my clothes, hyung?”
He asked while looking down at his body. He’d definitely been wearing a black zip-up hoodie over a white tee, but at some point he’d been changed into pajamas. The bottoms were the same.
“Yeah. Why?”
Cha Seonwoo asked back as if asking what the problem was. At his indifferent face, Haeyoung ended up feeling a bit confused.
No, isn’t this not right? Can you directly change clothes for someone who’s just a friend?
Haeyoung tried substituting someone other than Cha Seonwoo into his situation, but stopped imagining because it made him feel unpleasant. A drunk sleeping friend didn’t seem pretty enough to endure the trouble of changing their clothes. However, looking at Haeyoung who was slightly frowning, Seonwoo calmly opened his mouth.
“I think between us, we can at least change each other’s clothes.”
“……”
“I mean… we’re close?”
“Ah, I get it.”
A reluctant answer burst from Haeyoung’s mouth.
Even while bringing up the phrase “we’re close,” the end of his words had strangely risen. It was a tone as if he’d barely remembered a word that didn’t stick to his mouth at all. However, Haeyoung had no words to refute when Seonwoo said that.
Even knowing it wasn’t right, the words he’d spat out had caught him by the ankle. He swallowed a sigh and rose from the bed. When his feet touched the floor, he felt the soft texture of the rug.
“Hyung, I’ll wash up and come out.”
Haeyoung spoke toward Seonwoo who was still standing by the door. As soon as he confirmed him smoothly nodding, he moved his steps.
Haeyoung, who entered the bathroom attached to the bedroom, naturally looked at the toothbrush holder.
“Right, I don’t have a toothbrush.”
In a broken-up relationship, he’d been naturally looking for his toothbrush in his bathroom. This must be why they say habits are scary.
With an awkward face, Haeyoung scratched above his eyebrows and opened the bathroom storage cabinet with a mirror. Because there were always several new toothbrushes stocked inside. And at that moment, a low voice leaked from Haeyoung’s mouth as if surprised.
“Huh?”
He frowned at the familiar toothbrush visible inside. Even tilting his head to look, it seemed to be his. He turned his head to check again, but the only toothbrush taken out was Seonwoo’s.
He had a vague feeling that the toothbrush with traces of use might be his. He and Seonwoo had distinguished toothbrushes by color, and the color of the toothbrush placed inside was the same as the one he’d used. After hesitating for a moment, Haeyoung squeezed toothpaste onto it and brought it to his mouth.
The face reflected through the mirror was a bit disheveled but fortunately not that haggard. Haeyoung pressed down the slightly raised bangs with his hand. While brushing his teeth blankly in that state, Seonwoo entered the bathroom as if he’d almost forgotten.
“Ah, Haeyoung-ah. The toothbrush is…”
“Hng?”
With the toothbrush in his mouth, Haeyoung turned his head. Because he was pressing down his hair, his bangs blocked his view. When he belatedly removed his hand, he saw Seonwoo making a subtle expression.
It seemed like he was trying to hold back laughter, and also seemed a bit troubled. Looking at the ambiguously furrowed face, Haeyoung suddenly felt anxiously worried. He pulled out the toothbrush that was in his mouth, spat out the foam into the sink, and lifted his head again.
He’d thought it was his, but could this toothbrush have a different owner? …Seonwoo hyung doesn’t bring other people home. No, that was just until now; who knows what happened while they were broken up.
‘Ah, this is driving me crazy.’
Haeyoung, who’d been looking at Seonwoo with a flustered gaze, belatedly opened his mouth.
“…Isn’t this mine?”
“It’s yours.”
Seonwoo answered readily. At the affirmative words that burst from his mouth, Haeyoung made an expression that he couldn’t easily believe it. However, Cha Seonwoo, who was making eye contact, only smiled slightly with his eyes.
“Haeyoung-ah. After you wash up…, let’s eat breakfast together.”
Haeyoung, who inadvertently nodded, put the toothbrush in his mouth again. Seonwoo, who watched him brushing his teeth a bit longer, slowly took a step.
Was it necessary to say “let’s eat breakfast together after you wash up” while smiling so gently like that? Cha Seonwoo often used a way of speaking that made people feel strange at every turn. His characteristically gentle voice tinged with a low laugh probably played a part in that.
Haeyoung stared at his own tensed eyes in the mirror, then bowed his head again and spat foam into the sink. And after watching the pouring water for a moment, he rinsed his mouth with water from the cup.
The series of actions he was doing started to bother him one by one for no reason.
Clearly, it was an ominous sign.
