“July, July! What do you think? Huh?”
“Uh…… It’s good!”
After reading the novel written in Bryan’s secret diary, I took a moment to choose my words, then smiled with effort. Bryan also pulled up the corners of his mouth to smile along. Looking at that smiling face, I thought:
Bryan, your writing skills are the worst.
It was like what people commonly call ‘masturbatory writing.’ Meaning it was writing done for personal satisfaction and releasing desires. The male character ‘Bryan Roberts’ is loved by all women, admired by all men, and is a hero of the city. He has not a single weakness. He apparently exudes pheromones because wherever he goes, women stick to him and sleep with him. Is this…… even supposed to be called a novel?
However, I completely hid my true feelings. I couldn’t lower the favorability I’d worked so hard to build up. Who knows if Bryan might get hurt in his fragile heart and turn away if I gave him serious criticism?
“I’m going to keep writing this and then submit it!”
“Uh…… I’ll be rooting for you.”
My sincere apologies to the publishing company staff who will receive Bryan’s writing. I’m sorry I couldn’t stop it on my end. But I have to look out for myself too.
“You know, right? Even J.K. Rowling who wrote Harry Potter was constantly rejected by publishers.”
“Huh?”
“So, keep challenging yourself. And I’m not a professional, so I really don’t know much even after reading it. The publishers’ editors will know much better. Try sending it to various places.”
“Ah, okay!”
I express my deepest regrets to all publishing company staff in America. But I’m a young teenage minor, and you’re adults, aren’t you? It’s the law that adults carry children’s burdens.
“I have other novels too, want to read them?”
“……”
“July?”
“Ah, yes! Of course! It’s an honor!”
I pretended not to hear for a moment, wondering if what I heard was real, but at the hand eagerly shaking my shoulder, I eventually had no choice but to answer obediently with a smiling face.
Please, I’m begging you. Stop it! Stop that overflowing creative urge! ……No, rather, release all your desires through that. Relieve your stress that way…… I’ll sacrifice myself for this world. I hope everyone truly appreciates my spirit of sacrifice……
But those indifferent glances passing by me and Bryan in the cafeteria couldn’t possibly know my grand intentions. Bryan, a hero isn’t someone who smashes everything and sleeps with women every chance he gets. You have to make great self-sacrifices. That’s how you save the world……
“Is it fun? Huh?”
“Yeah, it’s fun……”
The SF novel set in a near-future city also featured ‘Bryan Roberts.’ And Bryan explained enthusiastically, spitting as he talked about how fresh and brilliant the appearance of ‘sex robots’ was.
The ‘Bryan Roberts’ in the novel also diligently slept with ‘sex robots’ that looked like beautiful women. To me, rather than being fresh and brilliant…… it seemed like a masturbatory device created by men who don’t even have the courage to talk to women but still want to have sex.
I swallowed these words down too. The more I read Bryan’s writing, cynical and critical thoughts kept popping up, making it really hard to hold onto my sanity.
“July, what about this? This one’s finished, so I’m thinking of posting it online!”
“Yeah. Sounds good…… But you know there are a lot of weird people on the internet, so be careful…… Even if you get bad comments, just ignore them……”
I warned him in advance since 100% hate comments would be posted. No, he should be grateful if even a single comment is left. This writing will be thoroughly ignored by the cold and discerning internet readers.
“I’ll always support you……”
Please Bryan, I hope you experience the long and intense pain of creation…… Because I’m suffering terribly right now.
“July, this one too……!”
“Bryan, I just remembered I have an assignment to submit this afternoon…… And aren’t you going to eat? You need to eat lunch properly. That’s how your brain works and you can write well.”
Before Bryan could pull out a new notebook, I hurriedly got up and gathered my things. Please don’t grab me. Please! Burn all your notebooks!
Did heaven notice my fervent wish? Bryan couldn’t bring himself to grab me. But still, the world didn’t help me.
“……What’s this.”
Joel, who usually didn’t even show his nose in the cafeteria, was standing there crookedly, sipping Mountain Dew. He seemed to have seen me with Bryan. It seemed like he was asking what kind of state I was in now, when he’d threatened me so much not to hang around with Bryan.
“Bryan…… begged me to please read the novel he wrote…… I couldn’t heartlessly refuse. He must be confused enough already, having transferred in as a 12th grader……”
“……”
“……”
I was making excuses while reading the room, but after seeing Joel’s expression, I just shut my mouth. His face said ‘go ahead and try.’ When I stopped talking, Joel took a sip of Mountain Dew and asked.
“Is that all?”
“That’s all. Like you said, my face lights up embarrassingly.”
I gestured toward Bryan with my eyes, and Joel also looked that way for a moment. Bryan was still sitting on the cafeteria table, scribbling something on a legal pad. Joel looked back and forth between me and Bryan, then slowly nodded his head.
“Right, our ‘Mr. July’ has a face that lights up like crazy. Those eyes aren’t crooked.”
“Right.”
“That’s why you seduced me to go on a date with you.”
“……”
I never seduced you! And I suggested the date because of the quest……! And you said you liked it! I furrowed my eyebrows, and Joel giggled.
“Hey, idiot. Having an admirable spirit of service is good, but weak humans aren’t always kind, you know? They can become more twisted and worse.”
“……So?”
“Mind your own business while protecting yourself.”
Thwack, Joel lightly hit my shoulder with the end of the Mountain Dew bottle and leisurely walked away.
I knew better than anyone that Bryan wasn’t kind. But how does Joel know enough about Bryan, who just transferred not long ago, to say something like that? Did they go to the same school before?
I rubbed my shoulder with a frowning face and turned my eyes toward where Joel had disappeared. Then,
“Ah……”
My eyes met David’s, who was sitting huddled together with guys wearing football team jackets. The moment our eyes met, David smiled brightly and waved his hand at me, shouting loudly.
“July!”
At the words of someone with 97% popularity, everyone’s eyes focused on me. Just as I was about to avoid them, feeling burdened, David shouted loudly again.
“July! July! Come here! Julyyyy!”
“……”
The physiques of the football team members sitting beside David like his royal guard were impressive. Their faces were quite menacing too. With those faces all looking at me together, I was going crazy. But it was quite too late to escape.
I had no choice but to trudge over to David’s side. David smiled annoyingly bright until I got close.
“July, you heard, right?”
“Heard what?”
“We’re getting married.”
“……”
“……”
At David’s innocent statement, everyone around us gaped in shock. The shocked expressions of the football team members were not pleasant to see at all. When someone asked their friend, “Are there cases of arranged marriages between men too?” I wanted to faint right then and there. My head was spinning, but I tried to regain my senses belatedly and spoke calmly.
“……It’s not ‘we,’ it’s ‘my hyung’ and ‘your noona’ who are getting married.”
“Yeah, that. I was in such a hurry that I misspoke.”
David nodded his head while holding a can of cherry-flavored cola. He’d startled everyone, but he himself was carefree. David, who took a sip of cola, suddenly pulled both corners of his mouth up tightly.
“Wow, isn’t it really amazing? A girl and a boy who met at this Bluedale High School are getting married over 10 years later. And their younger siblings are ‘friends’ attending Bluedale High School. I think this kind of connection is really hard to come by, don’t you?”
“Huh? Yeah! That’s right. Not common!”
David’s football team colleague quickly nodded at David’s gaze toward him. David smiled kindly at him, then turned his eyes to me.
“July, we’re becoming family now. It’s really amazing. Until recently we didn’t even know each other.”
“……That’s right.”
“But now family. Ah, of course, since we’re in-laws, it’s a bit different from regular ‘family.’ You’re ‘naturally’ coming to the dinner, right?”
“I’ll go.”
Even though I thought I didn’t understand why he was having this conversation in front of others, I answered for now. David propped his chin and tilted his head slightly.
“I’m looking forward to it. Our noona really likes your hyung, August. Don’t the names match perfectly too? Winter and August. Winter and August. They’re opposites. Ah, in Australia or Antarctica, the Arctic, August is winter, so maybe not completely opposite.”
“But if your noona is Winter, why are you just David?”
“I was also born in winter. I can’t be Winter the 2nd.”
“How about Christmas?”
One of the football team members shouted, and David lowered the ends of both eyebrows slightly as if troubled.
“If Christmas were a name…… you couldn’t say anything if you were sued for child abuse.”
“Then Santa!”
“That’s the same.”
“Rudolph?”
“Too corny!”
At his friends’ opinions popping up one by one, David seemed really happy and laughed—hahaha! Then he suddenly smiled broadly at me and moved his lips. It was a long sentence so I couldn’t catch it all at once, but after several repetitions I finally understood.
‘See you at dinner next Saturday, July. I’m really looking forward to it.’
I thought it was strange that he was looking forward to it when our hyung and his noona were the ones getting married. But the football team colleagues kept endlessly offering absurd name candidates like “Mint candy!”, “Gingerbread cookie!”, “Tree!”, so I just turned around and left. From behind me I could continuously hear voices saying “Advent calendar!”, “Carol!”, “Snowman!”, “Elsa!”, “Mariah Carey!”
