It was content he had brought up judging there was nothing he couldn’t say, but on the other hand, he was also curious about the reaction. Judging from the attitude so far, he didn’t have high expectations though.
Eunha observed the face of Yeonjun, who was sitting shoulder to shoulder with him. Yeonjun, who had hesitated as if reacting to the gaze that had become fixed while doing so, belatedly chewed over what he had heard while blinking his eyelids.
Eventually, the eyes that met his slowly clouded over. Yeonjun, who had bitten his lower lip and lowered his eyes, after some blank time, slowly made eye contact again. The answer that followed was not far from what he expected.
“I see.”
“……”
“That’s unexpected. I didn’t think you’d particularly like that kind of thing, hyung.”
The voice of consistent pitch was close to being flat. How did he come to think that way? As he was harboring doubt, Yeonjun, who had tactfully read the curious signs, added.
“You’re kind of independent, hyung.”
“……Me?”
He asked dubiously, but only a calm gaze quietly reached him. At that assertive reaction, Eunha had to swallow his awkwardness. I think you’ve thoroughly misunderstood me.
Eunha had absolutely no connection to an independent disposition. Setting aside other things, it was a personality that could be easily grasped just by looking at the one behavior of constantly trying to fill empty spaces. It was only incomprehensible that Yeonjun, who was well aware of that conduct, evaluated him that way.
He was sometimes curious. What form exactly was his image inside Yeonjun? What kind of fantasy was he harboring inside… He had become somewhat accustomed to being viewed favorably in everything and being evaluated in a form that seemed plausible, but sometimes he was worried. Because when expectations are high, equivalent disappointment follows.
What’s the problem with this kid being disappointed in me? Isn’t it rather fortunate?
While thinking that way forcibly with his head, the uncomfortable worry didn’t recede. It was the moment a bitter taste spread on the tip of his tongue.
“Are there still things left at that place?”
“Well…… that’s right.”
“Why?”
It was a tone that purely wanted to know the reason. Probably meaning why they were still there.
As he remained silently still, a quite sharp question followed.
“Did you not do it, or couldn’t you do it?”
Eunha chewed the flesh inside his closed lips. Well. Which was it? He hadn’t done it because organizing would be at a level where he’d have to throw out the whole house. So it seemed safe to say he couldn’t do it. Because he had no sense of how to separate and organize it.
“I think it’s both.”
“Both?”
“Yeah. When I tried to organize, it was at a level where I’d have to throw everything away, so I couldn’t bring myself to do it……”
“……”
“I was annoyed so I just left it neglected. It’s also kind of far from this neighborhood, so I got a new place while I was at it.”
I see. Yeonjun replied briefly.
“So, the reason is that it’s annoying because it’s overwhelming.”
Roughly speaking, that could be said. Eunha nodded.
“It’s not that you have lingering feelings or… anything like that.”
“Yeah. It’s not like that at all.”
“Then should I help you?”
“……With what?”
“Organizing the house.”
It was a plain tone as if having an ordinary everyday conversation. At the sudden suggestion, Eunha blinked.
“……Suddenly? Why would you.”
“Just…… now that it’s come up in conversation, I thought it wouldn’t matter to organize it. If it’s something you left neglected without any particular reason.”
“……”
“And because I’m curious.”
“About what.”
“The house you lived in, hyung.”
“……You’re curious about a house I lived in with someone else?”
“Of course.”
Yeonjun, who answered without hesitation, made eye contact. While slightly showing a hint of laughter in his eyes.
“I’m curious.”
“……”
“About anything related to you, hyung.”
It was a low voice that tickled the ears. Eunha stared blankly at the pupils he was facing for a moment, then in an instant turned his gaze away sharply. While glaring at the front with his characteristic expressionless face, he looked around for no reason. His throat suddenly burned and he craved a cigarette. Moistening his drying lips, he stretched his hand out toward the cigarette pack placed on the sofa armrest. Even knowing it would look flustered to Yeonjun.
And at the same time as grasping the cigarette pack, he had to chew on a slight sense of dismay. It was because he immediately realized the inside was completely empty. He belatedly remembered that the one he had smoked before entering the house earlier had been the last one.
Going out to buy some now is annoying. It’s not the right timing for that either.
It was when he was clicking his tongue soundlessly. Eunha, who had thought of something, glanced sideways at Yeonjun.
“What cigarettes do you smoke?”
Come to think of it, he was also a smoker. He had never seen him smoking, but he had seen him carrying a cigarette pack a few times.
Yeonjun hesitated, then obediently answered.
“……Esse?”
“Huh? Me too.”
Eunha’s eyes widened. Since he had tried various types before settling on one, he had intended to borrow one if there was an overlap among them. But to think it would be exactly the same type he was smoking now.
“Then give me one.”
Showing the empty cigarette pack with a flick of his thumb, Eunha asked. Yeonjun looked down at it for a moment, then nodded and pulled over his bag that was placed beside the sofa. He took out the cigarette pack he had put in a small pocket and handed it over. It was while receiving it.
“You can just keep it, hyung.”
Eunha looked at Yeonjun dubiously. Thinking it was a somewhat random donation.
“There’s no need to go that far.”
“Because I don’t need it.”
“Why don’t you need it?”
“……Actually, I don’t smoke cigarettes.”
It was an unexpected explanation. One that didn’t make much sense.
Eunha, who had raised one eyebrow, soon frowned slightly. After fiddling with the outline in his hand and carelessly opening it to check, the inside of the cigarette pack was in a state with only two cigarettes missing.
Unlike the inside being that full, the exterior had considerable signs of use as if it had been carried around for a long time.
“Then what’s this?”
“That’s……”
Yeonjun, who had trailed off hesitantly, soon turned his head surreptitiously in the opposite direction and answered.
“I bought it following you, hyung.”
“……Hm?”
“……I saw it from afar and it was kind of impressive.”
Yeonjun, who had replied almost like a mutter, covered one ear completely with his palm and rubbed it. Eunha had to twist his lips hard. It was like hearing something completely out of the blue.
What? He asked, replying absurdly.
“When?”
“……This January?”
At the even more out-of-the-blue sound, Eunha’s brow hardened further. This January. It was an unexpected point in time. Because it was a time that deviated significantly from the timeline Eunha had defined. For him, the beginning of memories with Yeonjun was early March.
He sent a gaze hoping for an explanation, but Yeonjun didn’t turn around. The answer came back after a brief hesitation.
“I didn’t first see you at that cafe, hyung.”
“Then?”
“……Much earlier than that?”
Does that mean January?
His interest piqued at the confession he had no idea about, Eunha shot an even more curious gaze. Yeonjun lightly rubbed the nape of his neck.
“In January…… not long after I moved my stuff here, I had seen you smoking a few times, hyung.”
“Really?”
Yes, after answering briefly, Yeonjun took a breath as if choosing his words and muttered. Because I kept thinking about it……
“……Somehow I ended up buying it too. I was also kind of curious. Because it was not long after I became an adult.”
Eunha nodded. People commonly start smoking like that. Because they became adults. Cases where they step into areas that were forbidden to minors out of curiosity and it becomes a habit as is.
“But I didn’t like it. It wasn’t my taste. It just hurt my eyes and throat.”
It was a tone mixed with dissatisfaction as if the memory from that time came to mind. The image of Yeonjun forcibly smoking cigarettes with his eyes becoming bright red was easily imagined, so Eunha unknowingly twitched the corners of his mouth.
“……That’s quite fortunate to hear.”
When he spoke as if relieved, he finally turned around. Eunha shrugged.
“If even cigarettes ended up being something I influenced you with, I’d really wonder what I’ve become.”
“What’s wrong with you being what, hyung?”
