A water droplet that had flowed down his jawline dampened the sink.
“…What a mess…”
Hyowoo muttered quietly while looking at his face in the mirror.
Pale skin. Lifeless eyes. Bloodless lips. He looked exactly like a water ghost.
It had been a long time since he’d faced such a wretched appearance.
‘…I can’t put it off any longer…’
It had been three days since he’d met Lee Seohee.
The day before yesterday, he’d been busy with an advertisement shoot, and yesterday Hyowoo had postponed their meeting with the excuse of having ‘urgent matters.’
Of course, there were no urgent matters. He’d simply needed time to organize his thoughts alone.
During that time he could barely eat and hardly slept at all, but his heart was organized to some degree.
His strange Peculiar Constitution, his fear of Alphas. And also about this unhealthy physical condition. He steeled his resolve to tell Lee Seohee everything without hiding anything anymore.
‘This is the first time I’m telling this story to anyone…’
It had taken far longer than imagined to bury that memory deep in his heart.
Thanks to his family’s devoted care and treatment, his body barely recovered. But the nightmare from that day jumped out whenever there was a chance and overwhelmed Hyowoo.
Just recalling related places, similar situations or words brought on panic attacks.
And yet he had to tell it himself to the person he liked.
He had no confidence whether his mouth would even open.
‘How will Seohee-ssi react…?’
He’d probably be very surprised.
‘He might pity me thinking I’m pathetic…’
And then he might accept it unexpectedly nonchalantly.
However, this was all just Hyowoo’s own speculation, and he couldn’t know how things would actually turn out.
Hyowoo was the type who always moved according to plans.
Unpredictable situations always frightened him. That’s why he hated things like surprise parties or surprise gifts.
That’s why his unpredictable reaction made him even more anxious.
‘…What if he despises me for hiding such a fact…?’
Imagining the criticism that might come back to him like a boomerang, his fingertips trembled finely.
‘Maybe I… shouldn’t do it after all?’
Hesitation caught his ankle for a moment, but Hyowoo soon collected himself.
‘Still, I have to tell him…’
No matter how scared he was, he couldn’t avoid the truth.
His job was only to tell him everything.
After that, how to accept it and what decision to make was Lee Seohee’s responsibility.
‘I can’t keep meeting Seohee-ssi while hiding my flaws anymore.’
It was about the time the water droplet that had formed on his chin was drying.
Knock knock—. He heard the sound of someone knocking on the door.
Lost in deep thought, he’d forgotten how much time had passed.
He hurriedly turned off the water and wiped his face.
He peeled off the wet strands of hair stuck to his forehead like seaweed, and forcibly erased the remnants of sadness in the mirror as well.
‘I can’t hesitate.’
After resolving once more, he slowly opened the door.
“You’ve been in there for quite a while without coming out. Are you okay?”
Lee Seohee was standing in front of the door.
“I’m sorry. I dozed off while standing.”
“Your complexion looks worse than before. Are you feeling unwell somewhere?”
Worried eyes turned toward him. Hyowoo lifted the corners of his mouth as naturally as possible.
“No. I just didn’t sleep well yesterday.”
He made an excuse about insomnia, but his current face was too much to be called simple fatigue.
There was no way the perceptive Lee Seohee wouldn’t notice. Before he could ask anything more, Hyowoo struck preemptively.
“Seohee-ssi, you seem to be becoming more like my mother these days. It’s nothing serious, so please don’t worry too much. I’m an adult too, you know, and I don’t really welcome overprotectiveness.”
He left the bathroom with a bright smile as if he really was fine.
While he’d been washing his face, pizza and chicken boxes had been placed on the living room table, perhaps delivered.
“It would have been nice if Taeseo was here too. What a shame.”
This was the apartment where Taeseo lived alone.
It was she who had suggested spending time comfortably here rather than being conscious of people everywhere.
Since they were meeting at home anyway, they’d tried to invite Taeseo’s boyfriend whom they hadn’t met last time, but it fell through again due to his sudden business trip.
Two hours before their appointment, she’d sent a message saying she’d go to Jeju Island for one night ‘since my boyfriend isn’t here anyway.’
**Taeseo**
I don’t want to be treated like a third wheel between you two
I’ll bow out
So spend quality time together just the two of you~
He was secretly relieved. A situation without someone there was actually fortunate.
If Taeseo had been there together, it would have been harder to bring up the story he had to tell today.
“What movie do you want to watch, Seohee-ssi? I’m fine with anything as long as it’s not romance or horror.”
Perhaps because he was nervous, he became chatty.
“I’m thirsty, can I get something to drink? Would you like something too, Seohee-ssi?”
Lee Seohee seemed to have noticed long ago that Hyowoo was awkward today, but he didn’t ask why.
He didn’t follow him to the kitchen either, just asked him to bring one sparkling water.
Inside the refrigerator was nothing but drinks, without a single food item.
One shelf was packed full of beer and soju, giving him the illusion that he was looking at Gyeonwoo’s studio apartment refrigerator.
After taking out one bottle of sparkling water, Hyowoo hesitated over what to drink and eventually picked up a beer can.
He didn’t plan to borrow liquid courage. It was just that if even a little alcohol got in, it seemed like he could be less nervous.
As he was about to close the refrigerator door, he noticed a 6-pack of chocolate milk that hadn’t even been unwrapped yet. He also saw a cake box from a famous bakery.
‘Did Taeseo… drink sweet things like chocolate milk?’
She didn’t like sweet things. She always declined when offered chocolate and rarely ate desserts.
If so, was it something that cute boyfriend of hers liked?
Lee Seohee soon resolved that small curiosity.
“Didn’t you see the chocolate milk?”
He asked Hyowoo, who had just handed him the sparkling water and was about to sit on the sofa.
“Yes, I saw it. Should I bring it to you?”
“No. That, I bought it for Hyowoo-ssi to drink. There’s chocolate cake too, and there’s ice cream in the freezer. Feel free to take it out and eat it whenever you want.”
Only then could he understand why there were foods in the refrigerator that the homeowner didn’t enjoy.
‘When we met the other day I said I was sensitive to heat, so he purposely bought them. Thinking cold things would be easier to eat…’
Actually, Hyowoo only liked chocolate itself; he didn’t particularly enjoy chocolate-flavored foods or drinks.
However, Lee Seohee, who had no way of knowing such a fact, had purposely prepared them thinking he would like them.
He was grateful for and happy about him paying attention without missing even trivial things. At the same time, his heart ached several times more.
‘From now on, there probably won’t be anyone… who will like me as much as Seohee-ssi…’
If only he had been an ordinary person.
If he hadn’t been a famous soccer player or a conglomerate heir.
No, if only he’d been even a little less exceptional.
‘Would it have been okay for me to be greedy for this person…?’
However, Hyowoo soon urged himself.
‘Stop having useless expectations. If I have that kind of leisure, I should think about how to bring up the topic to Seohee-ssi…’
Lee Seohee, who had already selected a movie on the OTT service screen, asked.
“How about this one?”
“Yes, it looks interesting.”
Hyowoo nodded while forcing a faint smile to hide his sad emotions.
As the film company’s intro video flowed on the screen, Hyowoo leaned deep into the sofa.
Resolving to bring up the story around the time the ending credits rolled up.
* * *
“…I see.”
Finally, he’d said it.
His throat choked up intermittently so he couldn’t continue speaking. It was hard enough that he had to stop several times, but he confessed everything to the end.
Only after laying everything bare without hiding anything could Hyowoo finally breathe. That breath was mixed with relief along with deep anxiety about not knowing what would happen next.
Lee Seohee, who had been staring at Hyowoo for a while, slowly got up from the sofa and became lost in thought with his arms crossed.
‘…It would be difficult to react right away after hearing a story like this…’
Had he hurt him?
He wished he would at least get angry instead…
Just as he was looking down and tracing the carpet pattern on the floor with his eyes, a single word fell from above his head.
“So what?”
Startled by the cold voice, Hyowoo raised his head.
“What do you want to do, Hyowoo-ssi?”
“Wh… what do you mean…?”
“There must be a reason for dropping such a huge bomb.”
Eyes that didn’t contain an ounce of warmth. This cold person he’d never seen even once before was so unfamiliar.
Flustered, Hyowoo could only move his mouth wordlessly, unable to say anything.
“So you want to break up?”
“……”
“Don’t tell me you were hoping I’d say we should break up first?”
In an instant, chills spread throughout his body as if someone had poured ice water over his head.
‘Right, that’s it… Because I absolutely can’t say with my own mouth that we should break up. I was trying to shift that responsibility onto Seohee-ssi…’
Lee Seohee had already seen through that cowardice that Hyowoo himself had belatedly realized.
Shallow selfishness, detestable hypocrisy. He loathed himself enough to feel nauseous.
‘If even I’m like this… how disgusting and unpleasant must Seohee-ssi find me…’
Blood seeped from his tightly bitten lower lip. Even if he had ten mouths, he had nothing to say.
“I’m disappointed in you, Hyowoo-ssi. I didn’t know you were such a pathetic person.”
Each barbed word stabbed into his heart.
He’d thought he might be hated, and had steeled himself that there was nothing he could do if he was despised.
He’d made up his mind to accept whatever decision he made. But when he actually faced eyes filled with disgust, it was so painful he couldn’t even breathe.
“Fine. If that’s what you wanted so badly, I’ll say it for you. Let’s stop meeting now.”
Water droplets fell one by one onto the back of his hands placed on his knees.
This was the end.
His connection with Lee Seohee, including all the happy times they’d had.
He couldn’t blame anyone. It was his own doing, something he’d brought upon himself.
‘Right, this is it…’
Everything would return to its original place now. Just as he was about to wipe the endlessly flowing tears—
Thud.
At the small sound that suddenly came, Hyowoo’s tightly closed eyes snapped open.
