“Why did sunbae call for you?”
With his jaw stiffened from tension, Chiwon asked. Only after finding the anxiety in his faintly trembling eyes did I reach out my hand to Chiwon.
I was confessed to, but I rejected them. Even those brief words took time to say. It was because my mouth moved slowly, my mind distracted by looking at Chiwon’s face. I placed my hand on Chiwon’s cheek and peeled away each fragment of emotion one by one. Anxiety, worry, fear, nervousness… Past all those emotions, what surfaced on Chiwon’s face when my words ended was relief. I watched all of it without even being able to blink.
The fact that the possibility of me being taken away frightened Chiwon made me shudder in a strange way. It was moving that Chiwon was following along with the emotions I had always felt. While looking at Chiwon’s face as if to engrave it onto my eyelids, I struggled desperately not to forget anything about this moment. Chiwon’s relieved face was unbearably lovely.
That night, I experienced a rut that came suddenly.
I was the type to have clear premonitory symptoms before a rut. Moreover, because I had manifested at quite a young age, I had experienced ruts many times, but this was the first time it came so suddenly. My father, who had come home early for the first time in a while without working overtime, noticed as soon as he caught my pheromones that I was going into rut, and though I took the suppressants we had at home, they were useless since it had already started. When asked if I’d rather take a day off since an interruption agent would put a lot of strain on my body, I said I would.
However, what I didn’t anticipate was that the rut wouldn’t end in just one day.
Due to the faint effect of the suppressant, an awkward heat continued. After barely managing to fall asleep while enduring a precarious state like a cup filled to the brim with water, I suddenly opened my eyes at dawn. Chari, who would normally be sleeping stuck to my side, had climbed onto the desk and was looking at me, her eyes gleaming in the darkness. Chari cried softly and then slipped outside through the slightly open window. I barely managed to reach out and close the window. Pheromones were surging throughout the room.
My back was damp with sweat. I sat up and leaned against the wall. Should I have not taken the suppressant? The warmly rising heat felt unpleasant. I wiped my nape once with the back of my hand.
Because I had been teased a lot for my name being associated with it, I actually didn’t like my pheromones very much. The sweet vanilla scent became sticky and filled the room. From the pheromones clinging to my skin, desire could be felt clearly.
After catching my breath for a moment, I put my hand into my pants and began to masturbate. My member, which had been hard and hot before I even touched it, quickly pressed up against my stomach. As I slowly traced down from the tip, goosebumps ran down my sweat-soaked back.
If I didn’t release the heat, I would only suffer throughout the rut. There was also talk that masturbating made the rut end faster. I wanted to get to school as quickly as possible to see Chiwon.
I hope it ends quickly—the moment I muttered that thought, Chiwon’s face suddenly came to mind.
This was my first rut since becoming a high school student. So I had no idea what kind of effect a ‘person I liked’ would have on a heat. As soon as Chiwon’s face came to mind, my heart beat like crazy. In sync with my heartbeat, pheromones also gushed out. Even though I knew it was useless, I unconsciously covered my neck with my hand.
“……Ah, ……hh……!”
My hand had even stopped from bewilderment, but my member grew in size on its own. It was because Chiwon’s pheromones came to mind. I was getting aroused just by remembering the scent. It was the first time I’d been this aroused, so it was even a little scary. My member became painfully hard, making my stomach tense up. I bent my waist and caught my breath.
Heat rose all the way to my eyes, making them hot. I grimaced and lowered my hand again. My fingers touching the glans trembled. Immorality, guilt, arousal. Emotions as thick as my pheromones consumed my body.
When I closed my eyes, Chiwon’s face became even clearer. Countless Chiwons passed by. Crying Chiwon, smiling Chiwon, Chiwon flushing around his eyes in embarrassment or feeling shy. The one who watched me nervously with anxious eyes, who was anxious about losing me, and who felt relieved that I hadn’t gone to someone else.
Chiwon, who clearly showed his possessiveness.
“……, ……”
I trembled as I ejaculated into my palm.
I felt like I might cry from happiness. The fact that Chiwon wanted me filled me with ecstasy. I called Chiwon’s name incessantly in my mind while covering my mouth. The ejaculation following the abnormal arousal was long.
Once you do it once, the pheromones subside for a moment. I waited for that while twisting my body to press my forehead against the wall and rub it. The heat seemed to go down a little against the cold wall. As I closed my eyes and caught my breath like that, I suddenly noticed something strange.
The pheromones showed no signs of subsiding. Rather, they seemed to be raging even more in heat. I could feel extremely aroused pheromones seeping out from my entire body. Below was throbbing and heating up again, pressed against my stomach.
After that, I continued to climax while being so aroused I couldn’t keep my wits about me. When the pheromones had subsided even a little, dim light was shining through the window.
I thought it would slowly subside like this. But the dull heat continued. When I couldn’t come to my senses for an entire day, Mother called my attending physician, and I received a diagnosis of ‘abnormal heat.’
They said alphas occasionally experienced abnormal heat, where a heat different from usual suddenly started and continued. Mother was relieved by the words not to worry too much since it wasn’t common but happened occasionally, and behind her, my attending physician whispered to me. Someone you like appeared, didn’t they?
“Abnormal heat is said to be caused by strong emotions.”
Love, I mean. At the doctor’s words, I blushed completely. It felt like even the fact that I had gotten aroused thinking of Chiwon last night had all been exposed. When I lowered my head, the doctor admonished me.
“There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s natural. You know that, right?”
“……Yes.”
“Good. Um, the rut will continue for several more days. It getting longer is unavoidable since you’re a dominant alpha. Even if there’s no major harm to your body, you’ll feel severe fatigue. To stop it, we have to use medication, but even with abnormal heat, a rut is still a rut, so nothing works except an interruption agent, which I don’t recommend.”
“Eorin-ah, will you be okay?”
The severe fatigue was real. Though only a day had passed, my body was terribly heavy, and since the heat continued, my pheromones couldn’t be controlled either, making me more exhausted. I didn’t want to keep experiencing this for several days. I asked for a prescription for an interruption agent.
“Eorin-ah, it will be a burden on you.”
“I’ll be okay.”
At my words, Mother, who had consulted a bit more with my attending physician, eventually nodded. They said the oral medication had fewer side effects than the emergency injection, so I decided to take that, but the interruption agent I saw for the first time was a blue capsule.
Even after taking the interruption agent, I had to rest for another day. It was because I was drowsy all day long. When I came to my senses after repeatedly sleeping and waking, it was already close to evening. Perhaps the room had been ventilated once, as the pheromones in the room had mostly dissipated, and I had no scent coming from me. The feeling of my pheromones being completely cut off was awkward. I had heard that pheromones wouldn’t come out for two or three days after taking an interruption agent, but this was my first time experiencing it.
When I went to school the next day, Chiwon made a very worried expression seeing me without pheromones. Having calmed down enough by then to act like nothing was wrong even in front of Chiwon, unlike when I had been running wild like a colt at first witnessing Chiwon’s appearance, I was able to smile as usual even when Chiwon looked at me with concern.
It was when the days grew increasingly chilly with winter right before our eyes. I spent a day like any other. Preparing for the approaching final exams, going to the school store with friends, laughing while joking around, watching stars with Chiwon. They say people only know something’s value when they lose it, but for me, these were precious days even without losing them.
That’s why it hurt more.
“Father, I can’t reach Seunghun. He’s disappeared.”
“What about Gyeyoung?”
“I contacted him but he says he doesn’t know. He definitely had a hand in it……”
“To think he’d backstab us like this. That bastard was always too greedy……”
All the phone lines in the house had been unplugged. Somehow the reporters’ calls were also coming to my cell phone, so I had turned my phone off too.
Really suddenly, the world collapsed. Except for family gatherings, I’d never even exchanged contact with my uncle, so I didn’t really know what kind of person he was. But even so, embezzlement. By the time Father and Grandfather found out, it was already too late. Kim Jaeui wouldn’t answer my calls, and Father suspected Uncle of being behind my uncle. He said it was too quiet, too big, and too meticulous for Uncle to have done alone.
“That bastard Seunghun, I wondered why he was so quiet. Crazy bastard……”
Between answering the endlessly ringing phones, Father muttered curses. It was the first time I’d heard Father swear, but I wasn’t very impressed. More shocking things were constantly coming out on TV.
“Eorin-ah, it would be better to take a break from school for a while.”
Mother smiled at me. Fear flickered through that smile. I lowered my head.
Father would soon be going to be investigated for whether he was involved in the embezzlement, and Grandfather was practically living at the company to clean up the situation. Mother and I could do nothing. Reporters were camped out in front of our house, so we had the helpers take time off for a while too. Then truly only Mother and I, the bodyguards, and the dogs and cats remained in the house.
I was scared. It felt like everything I had been standing on was collapsing. It was shocking that unbelievably, Uncle, who had worn such a good-natured smile, had a scheme set up over several years, and that our Father had gotten caught in it. I believed Father was innocent, but it was uncertain how things might get tangled up and go wrong.
From one day on, I couldn’t sleep at night. Perhaps Mother was the same, as when I saw her in the morning, there were traces of tears on her face. I barely kept in contact only with Grandfather using the second cell phone Grandfather had left at home, and while Grandfather said “don’t worry,” he didn’t say “it’s going well.” Thinking I knew what kind of comments would be posted on news articles, I suggested to Mother that we not look at internet news, and we just watched TV all day long.
