Grandmother only knew that Seungho was a celebrity who appeared on TV. Because of all the chaos during the funeral, Grandmother and Grandfather didn’t know much about the incident.
“Ma’am. I’m not a national team athlete anymore. I retired a long time ago.”
“Oh my, that’s right. I keep getting confused.”
Watching Seungho casually conversing with Grandmother, something surged up in Seonwoo’s chest.
“What gives you the right to come in recklessly?”
His voice was beyond cold—it had an edge. It was a tone he had never used once since coming down to Busan.
“With only Grandmother home, it’s not proper manners. If you have business, wait outside.”
Seungho, as if expecting this reaction from Seonwoo, only awkwardly avoided his gaze. Rather, the one surprised was Grandmother. Grandmother opened her eyes wide and waved her hands frantically.
“No, Seonwoo-ya. Grandma let him in. This young man came looking with his hands full, so I told him to wait inside. Oh my, our grandson, don’t be angry. I’m sorry, Seonwoo-ya. I’m being foolish. What should I do about this…….”
“…….”
He hadn’t said much, but Grandmother was flustered enough for her face to turn red. Feeling like he’d only startled Grandmother for nothing, Seonwoo quietly sighed and said.
“Come out. Are you going to keep sitting there?”
Only then did Seungho get up and organize his spot. When the grandmother came out holding a freshly prepared plate and didn’t know what to do, Seonwoo approached and popped an orange into his mouth.
“I’ll eat the rest when I come back. I’ll just talk for a moment and come back.”
“Oh, okay. Take your time coming back.”
He practically kicked Seungho out of the house before he could even exchange greetings with the grandmother. The atmosphere sank heavily. When Seonwoo led the way, Seungho followed behind. Until they arrived at a cafe near the house, the two didn’t exchange any words.
Upon arriving at the cafe, Seonwoo sat at any empty seat. Then Seungho went to the register, ordered two iced Americanos, and returned.
“I heard from your grandmother. You’ve been going to swimming lessons these days?”
It was Seungho who opened the conversation first. No matter how much he tried to lighten the mood, Seonwoo was only indifferent.
“How far have you learned? If there’s anything difficult, you can always ask me…….”
“Just tell me what you want.”
“…….”
When Seonwoo cut him off sharply, Seungho shut his mouth. He smacked his lips with an awkward expression. He seemed to start saying something but then got blocked, unable to easily bring up the story.
Then the vibrating pager buzzed. Seungho jumped up and walked to the counter. Leaving the tray behind, he returned holding drinks in both hands.
He placed one cup in front of Seonwoo and immediately drank his own. As if his throat was parched, he gulped down the coffee like it was a sports drink. He didn’t even use a straw.
Only after emptying more than half the coffee did he put down the cup. He slowly caught his breath and finally opened his mouth.
“Taejeong……. You don’t know how he’s doing, right?”
Seonwoo wasn’t surprised. It would be stranger if the reason for coming all the way here wasn’t related to Taejeong.
“I heard he went to America with his mother.”
Seungho’s expression hardened for a moment. His fingertips needlessly touched the cup. He repeated inhaling and exhaling several times as if trying to speak. After hesitating for a long while, he opened his mouth as if he could no longer delay.
“……Taejeong didn’t go to America. He’s been in prison all this time.”
“…….”
“After what happened to my brother-in-law, the assault charge disappeared, but the attempted arson remained as it was. Most of all……. Taejeong didn’t want a defense. He just said he’d accept it, so he received a 2-year sentence.”
Inside the cafe was gently noisy. Even though there were few customers because it was a weekday morning, it couldn’t be completely quiet. The sound of the machine grinding coffee beans, the sound of glass cups clinking, and conversations heard intermittently from afar continued alternately. A long silence stretched between the two.
After a long while, Seonwoo opened his mouth.
“So what.”
“…….”
“You came all the way here just to tell me that?”
It was a cold reaction. Seungho caught his breath for a moment, dry-washed his face, and then spilled the rest of the story.
“After he was released, I brought him to our house. I told him to live with us. But……. He disappeared the very next day. Leaving all his stuff behind. My wife and I were shocked and searched the whole neighborhood together, but we couldn’t find him in the end. When I tried to file a missing person report, the police station wouldn’t accept it. You guys are twenty-two, right? Since you’re full-grown adults, if he left voluntarily, they said it can’t be filed as a missing person case. Moreover, I’m not even his parent, so I couldn’t force it through.”
Frustration seeped into Seungho’s voice as he recalled that time.
“So I contacted my older sister, I mean Taejeong’s mother. I asked her to help me file the report. But she said she wouldn’t do it.”
“…….”
“No matter what, what parent wouldn’t look for their child when they disappeared? When I asked if she knew Taejeong had run away from home just in case, she said yes. But she absolutely won’t tell me where he went. In the end, I couldn’t even file a missing person report, and there’s still no contact from Taejeong…….”
Seungho telling the story seemed like he was dying of anxiety, while Seonwoo listening to it had no change in expression.
“So what do you want from me? I don’t know where he is.”
His voice was calm too. Rather, when he got angry about barging into the house, that had been a more human-like reaction. Seungho just moved his lips for a while. Eventually, he bowed his head deeply and spoke with his hands clasped together.
“With me……. Could you please help persuade my older sister…….”
He was applying so much force that his finger joints turned white. Unable to look at Seonwoo’s face, he squeezed out his voice. It was no different from pleading beyond just asking.
“It’s already been a month. A whole month with no news at all. I don’t know where he is or what he’s doing. At this rate…….”
Then, as if his throat was blocked, he couldn’t continue speaking anymore. Seungho clenched his fists so tight that veins stood out on the back of his hands. He tried to swallow the words circling in his mouth without spitting them out.
“What, are you worried he’ll commit suicide like his father?”
“…….”
But when Seonwoo brought it out of his mouth instead, he squeezed his eyes shut. His expression showed he didn’t even want to imagine it. Seonwoo let out a scoff at the absurdity.
“Do you even know who you came to find and are doing this to right now?”
“…….”
“Whose fault do you think it is that my mom and dad died and I became an orphan?”
“…….”
“You can’t take responsibility. None of you.”
As he poured out words as they came from his mouth, for a moment it felt like something was rising up from inside his chest, so Seonwoo shut his mouth. He looked out the window because he couldn’t stand the sight of Seungho still bowing his head. He caught his breath looking at people passing by on the street, at scenery no different from usual.
“Handle your family affairs among yourselves.”
Seonwoo had no more desire to listen. He left his seat, leaving behind the words that he’d report them if they came to the house again.
As soon as he left the cafe, Seonwoo’s steps quickened. He walked with long strides, then began running without even a chance to catch his breath. He himself didn’t know why he was so angry. Something just kept rising up from inside, and he couldn’t stand still, so he had no choice but to run.
He ran aimlessly through alleys and along streets lined with old shopping district signs. His breathing quickly became rough, and sweat poured down all over his body. His bangs got wet and stuck to his forehead, but he couldn’t stop.
When Seonwoo came home with his face bright red and drenched in sweat, the grandmother was startled. On the other hand, the grandfather had returned home in the meantime and, having heard the story from the grandmother, just frowned without saying anything.
Seonwoo roughly showered and entered his room. He threw his body onto the bed as if collapsing. His wet hair made the pillow damp. However, Seonwoo didn’t care. He caught his breath and burrowed into the blanket.
He didn’t budge all day like that. The grandmother paced anxiously in front of Seonwoo’s room. She was nervous and worried that Seonwoo might collapse again like when he first came down to Busan.
The grandfather sat quietly on the sofa. He didn’t try to forcibly open the door and drag Seonwoo out. He just waited for Seonwoo with the TV off, his ears perked for any signs from inside the room.
The day drew to a close. When night came, the door finally opened.
When Seonwoo finally opened the door and came out, the grandmother welcomed him with delight. Seonwoo was wearing light outdoor clothes. With a calm expression, he said to the grandmother and grandfather who must have worried about him all day.
“I’ll go for a walk and come back.”
Wherever he went, he could hear the sound of insects. Seonwoo walked aimlessly. Streetlight glow stretched long over the road, and when the wind occasionally blew, the sound of rustling leaves echoed.
After walking for a while, he saw the neighborhood park. Because it was late at night, no one was there. Seonwoo walked along the walking path. Just walking didn’t make him out of breath, so he properly positioned himself and started running.
Every time his sneakers brushed the walking path, a dull sound was made. His breathing quickly became rough. While running in the intermittently lit streetlights, the sound of insects gradually grew distant. Now only the sound of his heart pounding like crazy and his panting breath filled his ears.
Sweat flowing down from his face dripped down his chin. It felt like he might burst at any moment. He ran until his legs couldn’t support him and staggered. Seonwoo, who finally stopped, gasped for rough breaths. The sweat that flowed down seeped into his eyes, making his vision murky.
Seonwoo rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and sat down on a mound. He gasped and caught his breath. His whole body was soaked with sweat, making him look like someone who’d been rained on.
He’d run like this back then too. To get to the hospital where Taejeong was.
At dawn, he ran barefoot down the road through a downpour where he couldn’t even see ahead. For that one reason alone—because he was worried about Taejeong. Did his life become entangled from that point on? With Taejeong?
Seonwoo had already experienced too many things he didn’t need to know in life. Yet again, past events grabbed him by the ankle. Whenever life tried to calm down, it threw stones like a ghost.
Seonwoo knew what kind of feelings Seungho had to come all the way here. Even if he got cursed at as a shameless bastard, he’d want to find his family. If family disappeared without a trace overnight, Seonwoo knew better than anyone that one could do anything.
But so what? Even if he understood the feelings, Seonwoo had no obligation to help. Whether Taejeong remained without news forever or not, it wasn’t his concern. They were strangers now. No, they’d been strangers from the beginning. Not even friends. There was no reason why Seonwoo should help at this point. Morally speaking, there was no need for Seonwoo, the victim, to step forward either.
“…….”
But why does my chest feel so stuffy?
Seonwoo couldn’t understand all of Taejeong’s choices. If he’d finally escaped from that house, he should have lived well. One person ruining their life was enough—why was he trying to ruin his own life too? He couldn’t understand. Did he want to atone or something? If so, wasn’t going to prison enough? Why disappear again and cause trouble?
