“Hello.”
—Hello? Hyeondo-ya, were you sleeping?
Your beautiful voice that shimmers when filled with sunlight became clear and pure when filled with moonlight.
“No.”
—Then is it okay if we talk for a bit?
No. It’s okay to talk not just for a bit, but for a long time.
Contrary to my true feelings, my mouth indifferently answered, “Yeah.” If the conversation went on longer, it felt like my violently pounding heart would jump out of my mouth. I’d talked on the phone with Kkotmoa a few times before, but since this was the first time talking late at night, I felt strangely nervous.
—Actually, I just called. This is my first time talking on the phone with a friend at this hour.
Right, when you miss someone and want to hear their voice, you should call instead of just mulling it over alone in your thoughts, but like an idiot, I’d been rewinding and replaying each day over and over again by myself until now. I only realized this when Kkotmoa called just now. Really stupidly.
“Is something wrong by any chance…?”
—Hm? No. It’s not that, Dad just called a moment ago saying he’ll sleep at the hospital with Jaea tonight and come back tomorrow.
“Don’t tell me his condition suddenly got worse…”
—Hey, it’s not that. He said he wants to be with him.
“Ah…”
I didn’t really know how I should react. Regardless of my feelings for Kkotmoa, I still didn’t know much about their world yet.
—They’ve both been excited since he woke up. So I told them to have a good time. But it’s been a while since I’ve slept alone and I can’t fall asleep, so I just called.
“…You did the right thing. I couldn’t sleep either and was tossing and turning.”
I wouldn’t mind staying up all night if I could hear your voice.
I nodded my head when he asked if it was really true. Even though he couldn’t see me. But I really wanted to stay on the phone like this until morning came. I was worried about him being alone.
—Do you know there are so many stars in the sky right now?
I bolted upright from my bed and approached the window. When I opened it, stars that were rarely seen in Seoul were packed densely into the black sky.
—Pretty, right?
He asked right away, as if he’d heard the sound of the window opening. I wanted to answer that you’re prettier and shine more than the stars, but my lips wouldn’t move as I wished. These lips that run wild unnecessarily at times couldn’t contain the words I truly wanted to say.
“Yeah.”
—When I see stars, I think of you.
“…Why?”
—Hmm, how should I say this… You’ve been like that since I first saw you. You sparkled. That’s why I wanted to become close with you.
I don’t understand what he’s saying right now. The guy who shines more brightly than anyone in the world is telling me, who would become even the pitch-black darkness of the night sky for him, that I sparkle—does that make any sense? It seemed Kkotmoa needed to get his eyes checked again.
“When did you first see me?”
—It’s a secret.
“What?”
Kkotmoa didn’t answer and just giggled. The laughter mixed with his breathing made my ears dizzy and I felt faint. To focus even a little more on his sounds, I unconsciously gripped my phone tighter and pressed my ear as close as possible.
—If I’d known this would happen, I should have told you to stay over. Dad called too late.
“Can I… come over now?”
—Huh? Now? It’s midnight now though?
“I know. Just tell me whether I can come or not.”
—…If I tell you not to come, will you hang up?
Of course not. If he told me not to come, I’d be disappointed but would desperately try to talk longer somehow. But for some reason, it felt like I could push harder this time. Even though I’m someone who always gives all priority to Kkotmoa, it seemed like just for now, I could demand what I wanted.
“Yeah. If you say no, I’ll hang up.”
—…
“Should. I. Come?”
While anxiously waiting for an answer, I was already rummaging through my closet. I roughly stuffed my school uniform into a shopping bag while focusing on the other side of the phone.
—Then come safely, Hyeondo-ya.
And finally, permission was granted.
I ran down to the first floor and ran into Mom. I didn’t have time to explain properly. I was desperate to arrive at Kkotmoa’s house even one second faster.
“Mom, I’m going to study at a friend’s place, sleep over, and go to school from there!”
“What? What is this child saying right now? Do you know what time…”
“I know it’s midnight, and I’m going to study so don’t worry. I’m leaving, sleep well.”
Mom’s nagging sounded annoying, but I just ran. I could hide behind Dad for something like this. Dad had clicked his tongue before, saying that boys grow up by going out, wandering around, and causing some trouble, and that I was spending my school days too quietly.
I’d called a taxi before coming down from my second-floor room, so it seemed like I could get there quickly. When I waited about five minutes in front of the gate, a taxi appeared with dazzling headlights. I’d worried about what if Mom came out in the meantime, but since this was the first time, she seemed to let it slide. Or maybe when I go home tomorrow, I’ll get beaten until my back is raw and get thoroughly scolded. Whatever, I don’t mind getting beaten on the back a bit and listening to some nagging.
[Is there anything you want to eat?]
It took about 30 minutes by car from my house to Kkotmoa’s house. Since it was the middle of the night now, it would probably take about 20 minutes. As soon as I got in the taxi, I sent a message. I wanted to buy something delicious to feed Kkotmoa and talk a lot together.
[Mango Magic! Ah but it’s past midnight so they’re probably closed]
[There’s a 24-hour cafe]
This guy’s tastes were really consistent too. It was as if he had a ghost attached to him that died from not eating mango—he ate other fruits well too of course, but when it came to mango, he couldn’t resist. It’s too sweet and gets mushy as soon as you put it in your mouth, so I don’t really like it. But strangely, even fruits I don’t like tasted good when I ate them with Kkotmoa.
[What else besides that]
[3 Jjajang ramyeon]
[Jjajang ramyeon? Ramyeon at this hour?]
[Yeah, I’ll cook it spicy by adding red pepper powder for you]
Because I’d eaten a late-night snack today, I’d definitely been full until just a moment ago, but suddenly I became crazily hungry. Since he said 3 Jjajang ramyeon, I should eat just one serving and feed Kkotmoa two servings. These days, I felt full just watching Kkotmoa eat.
[Arriving in 10 minutes]
[Should I come out to the convenience store?]
[No, stay home]
[Then I’ll wait in front of the front door]
This is driving me crazy. He says he’ll wait in front of the front door. Crazy, saying he’ll wait in front of the front door.
My mouth stretched to my ears. Just reading the text, every single thing he said seemed to have voice support in Kkotmoa’s voice, so it was too cute. He’s also a South Korean high school student who eats and lives the same as me, but I don’t know why only he is so toe-curlingly ticklish and fluffy.
After asking the taxi driver to wait a moment, I bought two Mango Magics from the cafe, then stopped by a convenience store and bought two packs containing five Jjajang ramyeon each. I also swept up a few chocolates, chocolate snacks, chocolate bread, and other chocolate-flavored snacks into my basket.
I got back in the taxi and got off in front of Kkotmoa’s old apartment. The neighborhood had a somewhat eerie atmosphere at night. I should earnestly tell Kkotmoa to never wander around alone at night.
“Wow, you really came in under 10 minutes? Exactly 8 minutes and 14 seconds have passed since you sent your last text.”
Kkotmoa, who opened the door for me, showed me the stopped stopwatch on his phone. Not only was what he said cute, but what he did was cute too.
“You were waiting in front of the front door while timing it?”
“Yeah. But I didn’t know 8 minutes and 14 seconds would be this long.”
Kkotmoa muttered like he was talking to himself while receiving the plastic bag and carrier containing the Mango Magics from my hands. Those words felt exactly like he’d been waiting for me to come quickly, so my mouth stretched to my ears again. When I was with him, I should even worry about what if my mouth tears from this.
Then suddenly, I saw the sneakers placed at the entrance. Unlike me who had several pairs from each brand and wore them according to my mood each day, Kkotmoa only wore one pair of sneakers. It was the only branded thing Kkotmoa owned. He’d said the flower shop dad bought it for him for his birthday last year. Since he wouldn’t accept it if it were just given as a gift, I thought I should give him sneakers for his birthday this year too. In the sense that I should take Kkotmoa only on good paths.
“Why did you buy so much of this?”
Kkotmoa asked, holding one pack of five Jjajang ramyeon in each hand.
“One plus one.”
Lies come out so naturally now. Even when I lied, I still didn’t feel any guilt because he laughed. If my flower bloomed so brightly even at night like that, I had the confidence to tell even bigger lies without hesitation.
“When it’s like that, you should buy them. Since I’m letting you sleep over today, you’re treating for this, right?”
“As if.”
“Huh? What are all these chocolate-flavored things to eat?”
“Deong-, I mean, a gift for your younger brother.”
“…You’re really so kind. Our Jaea will really like it. Thanks to you, I won’t have to worry about Jaea’s snacks for a while.”
That’s why I wished he would spend his allowance a bit more on himself. I could see why their dad raised his allowance from 100,000 won to 130,000 won despite their difficult circumstances. Even though he said he did it because he liked to, since he spent most of his allowance on Deonggeori and rarely spent it except on transportation and phone bills, it was probably meant for him to spend on himself too. To parents, whether it’s Kkotmoa or Deonggeori, they’re equally their children.
Anyway, I should have a whole box of Deonggeori’s snacks delivered sometime, saying Mom sent it. If I say I bought it, it doesn’t seem like he’ll just accept it with a smile, but if I say Mom sent it, he’ll accept it with a smile even while feeling sorry. I was using Mom very conveniently.
