It was a breath as brief as an instant.
A type of breath too faint to even be called artificial respiration swept into his mouth. But it was so sweet, and it disappeared far too quickly, making him desperate. Like a gently stirring spring breeze, it made Orma melt limply in an instant.
Without realizing it, Orma raised his hand to grasp Ban’s waist and the back of his neck, pulling him closer. ……More, give me just a little more, hm? Praying like that inwardly, he ferociously swallowed the breath as if it had been entrusted to him. Then, as if he’d never actually breathed in the air Ban gave him, he played innocent and went around stirring things up here and there as if demanding more.
“Ah, huu…….”
Ban made a small sound, not knowing what to do.
Feeling like Ban might run far away from him at any moment, Orma became even more impatient. When their lips met, he could breathe.
Orma instinctively realized that he could only breathe while kissing Ban. He learned that from now on, for the rest of his life, Ban had to exist, he had to kiss him like this, for him to be able to breathe while pretending to be an ordinary human.
So what choice was there? He continued to beg and cling for more. In the process, it was inevitable that their tongues became somewhat entangled, making messy sounds.
‘I’m a bit pitiful, aren’t I? I’ve become an idiot who can’t even breathe, so you have to let it slide…… Who told me to take you out of Hell anyway? I knew it would turn out like this. From the moment I first saw you, I knew it would turn out like this…….’
He muttered words Ban couldn’t even hear like that to himself.
It was hot, sweet, and felt good. Was breathing such an ecstatic feeling? Well, he actually knew it wasn’t, but…… he was still desperately begging for breath and eager to swallow it.
“……Huu, ngh…….”
Ban himself kept telling himself that he was giving artificial respiration right now, but he couldn’t help feeling embarrassed as he unconsciously kept making strange sounds. Orma must be surprised and obsessed with the fact that he could breathe now, so he kept rushing in to kiss him.
Having never experienced such a messy kiss in both his previous and current life, Ban was startled and reflexively tried to push Orma away. That only stimulated Orma and made him cling closer, and only after barely separating their lips and tilting his head back so their bodily fluids stretched long from the tips of their tongues could Ban escape, if only for a moment.
“……Ah, Orma-nim, that…….”
You must be flustered by what just happened, right? Ban didn’t even notice that his face had turned bright red and worried about how to explain what had just happened, but Orma just stared at Ban’s face with a dissatisfied expression without saying anything.
His unsteady breathing, his reddened eyes and ears, his busily moving sky-blue pupils, and his bright red lips glistening with the fluids they’d exchanged.
Ah, what should I do…….
Ban was resentfully beautiful. He didn’t know what Ban wanted to say by separating their lips, but if it wasn’t particularly important, he wished they could just continue what they were doing.
“Y-you were surprised, weren’t you? Just now I…… I mean…… I was trying to help you breathe…….”
He couldn’t speak well and had no talent for explaining, yet somehow he struggled to make excuses, which was cute, but it didn’t particularly register in Orma’s head. Yeah, okay, I see…… After watching Ban fluster and babble for a while, when it got to the point where his insides burned and his body stirred, Orma couldn’t endure anymore and blurted out.
“Ban.”
“……Yes?”
“I got it, so let’s just finish what we were doing.”
After saying that, Orma rushed in first without waiting for an answer and captured his lips. In the end, Ban resigned himself, squeezed his eyes shut, and only prayed inwardly, ‘Orma, please, couldn’t you treat your wounds first…….’
Yeah, yeah, later…… Orma answered inaudibly to the one-way prayer and adored his apostle’s adorable lips.
* * *
……The reflection in the mirror was unsightly. Especially his swollen lips. Ban glared intently at the goldfish in the mirror, then finally put down the mirror only after making eye contact with Orma, who was grinning behind him.
“Why? It’s cute.”
“……Please don’t tease me.”
He wasn’t teasing, he was sincere, but if that’s how Ban took it. When Orma shrugged his shoulders, blood began seeping through the bandages he’d barely finished treating again. Ban, shocked, nagged him not to move and began changing the bandages again, but Orma was just absorbed in other thoughts with a serious face.
“……Ban, I’ve been thinking.”
“Yes.”
“I think I’ve really become a monster pretending to be human. There’s no idiot like this idiot.”
“……Please don’t say such things.”
His self-deprecating words, spoken so casually, were upsetting. Ban pressed his lips together tightly and focused on replacing the bandages, but even while doing so, he couldn’t take his eyes off Orma’s ruined body.
It wasn’t that he couldn’t feel pain, yet that was the only proof that he was alive. He was suddenly frightened that the day might come when Orma couldn’t even feel pain.
Then what? Would he go completely mad? Even now, should he ignore everything like faith and maintain his reputation as an Evil God…….
“So you have to take responsibility.”
“……Pardon?”
“You’re my apostle. You can’t back out.”
Not understanding at all what he was saying, Ban just blinked blankly.
Was Orma threatening him right now? That had been his intention, but he was so brazen about it that Ban had nothing to say. To ignore Orma who had changed like this would be no different from arbitrarily bringing home a stray cat and then abandoning it. He had ruined him, but anyway, only he could make Orma act like an ordinary human. Even now, wasn’t he trying his best to accept him for that reason? But…….
“We have to do it once a day. No, once isn’t enough. Humans don’t just breathe once a day.”
“…….”
“Three times as a duty would be good.”
What they were ‘doing’ was quite embarrassing and shameful for Ban, yet Orma shamelessly demanded it as if it were natural, like brushing teeth after meals, without batting an eye.
Ban didn’t know how to answer, so he just fidgeted, tormenting the leftover bandages. If it would make Orma comfortable, he would naturally do it, but, um…… Actually, he didn’t particularly dislike it either.
But was this okay? Artificial respiration was, in a way, an act with a noble purpose, so shouldn’t he not think of it or feel it like a kiss……
“Why aren’t you answering? You don’t want to?”
“……N-no. That…… isn’t it late at night? Shouldn’t you be sleeping now?”
After struggling for a while, the words he finally managed were to change the subject by suggesting they sleep.
In any case, there seemed to be no lie in his claim that he was taken in by the temple as an orphan and raised solely as a Holy Knight. To be so flustered and not know what to do over just kissing a little, how innocent…….
Well…… thinking about it, that might be what made Ban even more special. With that face, if he’d lived outside instead of in the temple, would humans have left him alone? Even against his will, he could have fallen into worldliness and pleasure and been much more decadent than now.
Of course, that would have drawn attention in its own way, but anyway, Orma was more attracted to Ban as he was now, with innocence remaining that no one dared to trample or touch.
“Yeah, well. We should sleep.”
Orma readily agreed and grinned. Then he spread both arms and tilted his head. Whether it was breathing or sleeping…… as long as it was with Ban, anything was fine. At that sly behavior, Ban hesitated and glanced at Orma with slightly resentful eyes.
“Just lie still.”
Even while speaking primly with a sullen look, Ban immediately approached Orma and lay down beside him. Then, after hesitating for a moment and fidgeting, he raised his hand and began carefully patting Orma’s chest area again. Even while doing so, the effort to somehow avoid the wounded areas was noticeable, which was admirable and cute.
In his head, Orma trapped Ban in vulgar thoughts and fantasies starting with ‘This is fucking hot……’ while outwardly pretending to be indifferent and closing his eyes. Until now, he’d reproached himself for having strange thoughts about Ban and consciously avoided them, but now, well…… things had happened, so what choice was there? Anyway, Ban said he’d take responsibility for him, so even if he got a bit sticky, he wasn’t going to just abandon him, right?
“…….”
Being this close to Ban, there was a fresh and comfortable scent. Smelling that scent and embracing his warm body, drowsiness quickly poured over him.
……Sanctuary. My paradise, beautiful and fragile, who will live a short life that doesn’t amount to much compared to his own…… For the first time, Orma wished this moment would last forever as he buried his head in heaven’s embrace and gradually became intoxicated with sleep.