It was the Director’s handwriting. It seemed she had come by while I was sleeping. After looking down at that note for a moment, I put the note back into the pill bottle and pushed the pill bottle deep into the bookshelf above my desk.
Even if a time came when I wanted to take them again, I would never take out that pill bottle. There was something else to hold onto. Now I knew that.
The next day my condition improved, so I was able to go to school. As soon as I arrived, I was called to the school nurse and had to have a consultation, and I had to repeat dozens of times the explanation that I was okay now and the promise that I would never do that again.
Next was the homeroom teacher. I was told that the ethics exam I couldn’t take would be processed as 80% of the final exam grade I would take later. It meant I had to get 100 points on the final exam to be recognized for 80 points. I had a reason to study ethics hard. While I was nodding, the teacher started with ‘Well, shall we talk a bit now?’
The teacher held onto me and repeated for dozens of minutes that I shouldn’t do that, saying she had been relieved that I looked good lately but suddenly made her worry. She said she tried not to ask and just watch over me, but now she needed to know the reason, so she asked about the circumstances of trying to hide being an omega, and I slowly unfolded my story. The teacher blew her nose with tissues and got angry, asking if there were such bad kids. When the story reached recent events, I didn’t talk about Kim Jaeui. In fact, all Kim Jaeui did to me was tell me he knew I was an omega. The things that happened because of it were all problems of my heart.
“With you collapsing, the whole school must have heard the rumors, will you be okay?”
“Yes, I’m okay now. I talked about everything with Eorin, Woojin, and Junsu…… I think I’ll be okay now.”
I smiled. The teacher who saw my face sighed.
“I was so worried about you I was losing my hair, but you look refreshed.”
“I’m sorry, teacher.”
“No. It’s fortunate. If your heart has become comfortable.”
The teacher ruffled my hair.
“From the day before yesterday until today, do you know how many people scolded you and got angry at your story?”
I tried to gauge in my mind. There were so many. Too many to count on my hands.
“…….”
“You know, right?”
The teacher smiled while meeting my eyes.
“There will be hard times ahead too. That’s how the world is. It’s not always comfortable. But it’s very important to know there’s a place to go when that happens.”
“Yes, teacher.”
“Can you see now who you should go to?”
“Yes. I can see clearly.”
The teacher handed me a tissue. I wiped my face and smiled. This was the last time I would cry.
When I came out closing the Korean resource room door, I was startled. Because the kids were clustered right in front of the door. As I stood there with my mouth open, Junsu grabbed my wrist and pulled me away from the resource room. It seemed he was doing that so the teacher inside wouldn’t hear.
“Why are you guys here? It’s self-study time now. Won’t you get in trouble?”
“If we don’t get caught, we won’t get in trouble. It’s okay.”
“So let’s go back quickly.”
Woojin pushed my back from behind. I barely held back bursting into laughter. If laughter echoed in the quiet hallway, we might get caught by the supervising teacher. We walked almost running back to Class 5, giggling quietly.
The story that I had collapsed from taking suppressants quickly spread throughout the school. But that was all. Most of the kids reacted with ‘Who’s Kindergarten? Ah, that kid who hangs out with Kim Eorin?’ and the Class 5 kids who firmly believed I was a beta were very surprised but didn’t ask more after hearing there were circumstances for hiding it, and let it pass.
They were really good kids. I was in a good place. A place like a sunny spot where sunlight pours down and fluffy clouds swim. I didn’t know if the kids back then were exceptionally mean to me, or if this place now was exceptionally happy, but I hoped the world ahead would be just like now if possible.
After that, there were no occasions to run into Kim Jaeui. Was it because I didn’t walk to the back class hallway? But even when going to different classes or in the cafeteria, I couldn’t see Kim Jaeui’s face.
Midterm exam scores could be known right on the exam day. After the exam ended, answer sheets were distributed to the class so you could check them against the answers you marked on your test paper. Since I couldn’t check the answers for the last day’s exam, I borrowed Eorin’s to check, and considering my condition wasn’t good because of the medicine, it wasn’t a bad grade. I, who had been quite worried, was greatly relieved. And I was a bit moved that Eorin’s average score I saw while checking answers was very high. Oh my, Eorin was good at studying too. Looking at the report cards we received later, Eorin was in the top school rank, Junsu was in the upper-middle rank, and Woojin was exactly in the middle.
As May approached, a noticeably excited atmosphere circulated in the school. It was because of the training camp in mid-May. Our class, which loved running around the most, was especially excited and couldn’t stay still. Other schools seemed to have sports festivals around this time, but our school held the sports festival in the fall.
Today was Monday with two days left until May, so we held a class meeting in the afternoon. Our school held class meetings every Monday afternoon, and both the homeroom teacher and the kids agreed with the opinion that students should lead proactively. So the meeting chairperson wasn’t the teacher but Yeongjin, the class president. Eorin, the vice president, decided to organize and write agenda items and opinions on the blackboard, and Eorin’s already bad handwriting shone even more on the blackboard. If we left even the meeting minutes that had to be submitted to the homeroom teacher later to Eorin, we wouldn’t be able to read the meeting content, so Yeongjin appointed me as secretary. The reason was that my handwriting had the best readability in our class.
“First, there are event announcements. May 3rd is Buddha’s Birthday, so school is closed. Here we’ll shout hooray once. Hooray!”
“Hooray!”
“May 5th Children’s Day is also a holiday but it’s Sunday so it has nothing to do with us, so we’ll pass. May 8th is Parents’ Day. Let’s convey love to our parents. May 15th is Teachers’ Day. Let’s convey love to our teachers. And from May 16th to 18th is the long-awaited training camp. The notice from the school specifies that alcohol, cigarettes, and entertainment-purpose tools are all prohibited. Let’s all keep this in mind and prepare for the training camp.”
Yeongjin’s face as he nodded while saying that was subtle. The faces of the other kids nodding the same way while facing Yeongjin were the same. They seemed to be scheming something.
“I have a question. What’s the range of entertainment-purpose tools?”
“The examples given in the notice are cards and game devices.”
Hands went up here and there asking what about this, what about that. Yeongjin pondered and then said to bring things that would be okay to have confiscated, assuming they couldn’t be returned. It was an answer the teacher would faint at if she heard, but the kids clapped saying it was a brilliant answer. Behind Yeongjin, Eorin shook his head.
“Now, so we need to form groups for activities during the training camp. It’s twelve people per group, and they say you’ll use the same room at the training center or do group activities together. First, I’ll announce the group leaders. Group 1 leader, Kang Yeongjin. Group 2 leader, Kim Eorin. Group 3 leader, Park Jeongmin.”
“Huh. I object.”
“Yes, student Park Jeongmin.”
“Why am I a group leader?”
“The homeroom teacher said it’s because you’re the Korean department head.”
“Ahhhhhhh.”
“I believe you’ll do well!”
“We believe in you!”
“Now, let’s form the groups. Students who want Group 1, please raise your hands.”
Forming the groups proceeded quickly. Everyone was friendly all around, so they didn’t care which group they joined as long as one close friend was with them. Junsu, Woojin, and I joined Group 2 where Eorin was the leader, and looking at the members, it seemed all the kids who liked to play around in the class were there. It was clear it would be noisy as always even at the training camp.
“We also need to decide bus seat partners, and after the meeting ends, if you go to the secretary and say who you’ll partner with, the secretary will record it and submit it to the teacher.”
At those words, the kids all looked in my direction at once. Surprised, I looked around and made eye contact with Eorin standing in front, and Eorin raised a finger, pointed alternately at himself and me, then grinned.
After the meeting ended, the kids rushed to me in a frenzy to write their names first. It seemed they were trying to claim bus seats first, but when I said I was just organizing partners and bus seats would be first-come-first-served on the day, they finally calmed down. While the kids lined up with deflated faces, after hesitating a bit, I sneakily raised my eyes to look at Eorin’s face and tactfully wrote the names at the very top.
Kim Eorin, Yoo Chiwon.
To claim Eorin, is this the taste of power? When I said that to Eorin later, Eorin burst out laughing.
“Teacher, I brought the meeting minutes.”
It was cleaning time, but since I wasn’t on duty, I took the meeting minutes and went up to the staff room. Junsu and Eorin, whose numbers were in the front, got caught on duty and were cleaning, and Woojin, who was bored, followed me to the staff room.
“Ah, yes. Thank you.”
“Then I’ll be going.”
I greeted and was about to go down when the teacher told me to wait a moment, rummaged through a drawer, took out a handful of something and pressed it into my hand. Looking inside my hand, it was candy. Sweet and sour candy with sticky fruit juice syrup inside.
“Share these.”
“Thank you.”
“Thank you!”
Woojin, whose mood instantly improved, said with a beaming smile. The teacher laughed heartily.
When we went down to the classroom, cleaning had ended long ago and most had gone out to play or to the school store. Our class had fast hands when it came to cleaning. Does the desire to play create diligence?
I approached Junsu and Eorin and held out both hands. They were filled to overflowing with candy. Some actually overflowed a bit, and Woojin quickly picked up the ones that almost fell and put them in his mouth.
“Want some candy?”
“I want some.”
“I want some!”
