Since the day he had been woozy from the medicine, there hadn’t been any particular skinship, and there were no reactions that someone who liked you would show.
As a result, he naturally became cautious. He already had nothing compared to Ganghyuk. Being young was his only advantage, but it seemed like Ganghyuk wouldn’t welcome having a big age gap.
After realizing his feelings of affection, Ian developed the greed to advance to a slightly deeper relationship with him. Not asking if he could kiss him while drunk, but wanting to become a relationship where they could kiss anytime.
Even just smelling the pheromones that flowed out little by little made him feel so good, so he even imagined with deep personal desire how good it would be if Ganghyuk released pheromones enough to melt his whole body.
In the morning and at lunch, he sent messages that didn’t particularly need replies, but now was different. Ian anxiously chewed his thumb hard. One leg was about to tremble, so he forcefully put strength into his thigh.
It was because Grandfather’s voice nagging that shaking your leg makes fortune run away echoed in his ears.
However, even after one minute passed, even after ten minutes passed, the phone remained quiet. Ian, who had been staring intently at the pitch-black phone screen, had no choice but to put the phone in his apron pocket at the sound of the shop door opening.
Even while working busily, he kept his ears perked and checked from time to time so he could hear immediately if a notification rang, but Ganghyuk was heartlessly not replying.
Even until the soup that had filled one pot was all sold out and he put a notice about ingredients being depleted on the shop door, the message box was empty.
“…That’s too much.”
Ian muttered in a sullen voice while clutching the dishcloth he had been wiping tables with. Three hours had already passed since he sent the message.
No matter how busy he was, there would be enough time to check messages, but he felt a little hurt by Ganghyuk who didn’t send even a single syllable.
When he asked if it was okay to send texts, he had readily told him to do so. Could it be he really meant to only send them? For Ian, who had naturally been soaking in thoughts of exchanging texts with Ganghyuk, it was completely deflating.
Even his footsteps going up to the house after finishing all the cleanup had no strength. He should eat a late dinner, but he had no appetite.
When he opened the front door, the inside of the house with all the lights off greeted Ian. It was a scene he should get used to, but momentarily his breath caught.
The air staying inside the house pressed down on his shoulders. The faint smell of books tightened his chest. He closed his eyes tightly because it seemed like he could hear Grandfather’s voice calling ‘my baby’ from somewhere.
When Ganghyuk was there, he was okay because he was focused on him, but when left alone, unbearable loneliness rushed in.
Ian took a deep breath and let it out while soothing his heavy heart. When he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, cold sweat had seeped out in the brief moment.
He took off his shoes and diligently walked around turning on all the lights in the house. Only after the darkness receded did breathing become a little more comfortable.
Since he had sweated a lot while working, he showered first and came out. He took out one jar-shaped banana milk from the refrigerator, stuck in a straw, and sat cross-legged on the living room sofa.
He positioned himself so he could see the front door well and put the straw to his lips and sucked. The artificial banana scent spread throughout his mouth.
Considering his usual appetite, one milk didn’t even count as a snack, but he still didn’t feel like eating.
Only the sound of the clock’s second hand on the living room wall echoed in the silent space. He threw the can that only made loud empty sounds into the trash and rested his chin on the sofa backrest.
With his neck stretched out long like a giraffe, he just endlessly stared at the front door. Doing this, he felt exactly like a dog waiting for its owner.
He knew it was a pitiful behavior, but he didn’t have the energy to do anything else. Ganghyuk had set up an unlimited data plan for him so he could watch videos, but Ian just killed time holding the phone tightly in his hand.
He was too hungry for warmth to fill Grandfather’s empty place. He missed Ganghyuk’s face that was cool but not scary too much.
It was a face he had seen in the morning, so why did he miss it so much? Was this the kind of feeling you get when you come to like someone?
He had never liked anyone before, so the emotions that eroded his heart were unfamiliar yet burdensome. He also thought he might be craving Ganghyuk more because of the sense of loss from losing Grandfather.
He had no intention of confessing that he liked him. It hadn’t been long since he realized his feelings, and the relationship between Ganghyuk and Ian couldn’t yet be considered that intimate.
He was cautious that if he rashly conveyed his feelings, their relationship could become more awkward. There was also the possibility that Ganghyuk would leave this house right away, saying he was uncomfortable. Or he might chase Ian away to another place.
His neck hurt from being in one position, so he eventually got up. While massaging his stiff neck, he repeated the meaningless action of continuously turning the phone screen on and off.
…Would he answer if I called?
A text only rings once and ends, but if he made a call, it was certain that whether vibration or ringtone, it would keep ringing for as long as the connection tone continued. Unless it was set to silent.
Unable to overcome the impulse, he brought up Ganghyuk’s number on the screen. He could make the call just by pressing the call button, but his fingertips kept shrinking back.
When he was annoyed enough not to reply to messages, what if he was the same with calls? Moreover, if he didn’t answer the call either, his hurt feelings seemed like they would grow bigger, so he hesitated.
He was just sighing deeply when he inadvertently pressed the call button. Flustered, Ian froze with his eyes wide open, then carefully brought the phone to his ear.
Ring ring. Ring ring.
The basic connection tone flowed from the phone. As the monotonous sound continued, the speed of his heartbeat gradually quickened.
However, Ganghyuk didn’t answer the phone until the guidance message that the call wasn’t connecting and would go to voicemail played.
Although he had expected it to some degree, the blow was bigger than he thought, and Ian buried his face in the sofa backrest. His nose bridge stung, so he clenched his teeth. To cry over just this kind of thing made him feel too childish.
But not long after the call ended, he heard signs of people from the front door side. At the sound of footsteps stepping up the stairs, Ian raised his head with a jerk.
Not only was there more than one set of footsteps, but he also heard unfamiliar voices. The fine hairs on his arms stood on end. Ian, who felt a sense of crisis, got up from the sofa and looked around.
Could it be that Hongdo had come back? Or did Sangmin cause trouble again? Both were sufficiently possible, so the back of his neck became damp with cold sweat.
Just in case, he dialed 112 and went into the room. He also took out a cane from the box that held Grandfather’s belongings.
Holding the phone and cane in both hands, he hid behind the door. Even though he was fully prepared to report to the police at any time, his heart beat rapidly.
He held his breath and watched the situation, and there was a continuous murmuring sound from the front door side. There seemed to be two voices, and he thought he heard the words ‘Executive Director’ and ‘hyung-nim’ faintly.
Beep, beep, beep, beep. Beeeep! He could hear the sound of pressing the front door keypad, and then a warning sound also rang because the password was wrong.
Ian, who had been chewing his lips hard, gathered courage and approached the front door. At least it wasn’t Sangmin. If it were him, he would have already been calling Ian’s name until his throat burst.
The front door password had been changed when he started living with Ganghyuk. It was because Sangmin knew the old password. So from the moment the password was wrong, Sangmin would have definitely been banging on the door and shouting for Ian to open it.
