Notes: Chapters Split is 1500+ words per chapters. Thank you!
“Grandfather, please open your eyes…….”
Large teardrops fell down his pale cheeks. The wrinkled hands that would normally have gently wiped away his tears, though rough, were now completely frozen without the slightest movement.
Ian moved his trembling arms and grasped the limp hand with both of his. Warmth was still vividly present, yet the face of the doctor who had just pronounced his grandfather dead was filled with complexity.
He could feel pitying gazes touching his face. But Ian only stared endlessly at his grandfather, whose heart had already stopped. He bit his lips, thinking this might be a terrible nightmare, but instead of waking from a dream, only a sharp pain arose.
His white hair, which had been neatly combed back with camellia oil as always today, was disheveled in a mess, and the face that had been called handsome even with hair white from age was now covered with unfamiliar scratches.
The bandage wrapped around his head was dyed entirely dark red from blood that hadn’t yet dried, making it suffocating to breathe.
The distinctive smell of disinfectant in the hospital, the screams and groans of patients brought to the emergency room, and the cold fluorescent light illuminating his grandfather with closed eyes.
Everything felt distant.
He had received a call from the hospital and rushed over frantically. He hadn’t even put on socks and was barefoot, and his shoes were mismatched. The moment when he had been sitting on the living room sofa, dozing off while waiting for his grandfather who had gone to the market at dawn, was still vivid.
He couldn’t believe such a thing had happened in just a few hours.
“He was already in poor condition when he arrived at the hospital. He lost too much blood. There are circumstances suggesting a hit-and-run accident, so the police will come soon.”
The doctor who had performed emergency treatment and even CPR from the moment the patient was brought in spoke in a deliberately calm voice. Working in the emergency room, one encounters countless people crossing the boundary between life and death.
Today was no different. What particularly weighed on his mind was probably due to Ian’s youthful appearance. His face, swollen from crying so much in such a short time, looked young enough to seem like a student who had just entered high school if he were wearing a uniform.
Too young an age to be called the sole guardian of a patient lying there bleeding. Though he didn’t know the deep circumstances, the child’s sense of loss was clearly conveyed.
Though he said it couldn’t be helped, he had performed CPR for over 20 minutes on a patient whose heart had already stopped. He had done his best to the point where his doctor’s coat was soaked with sweat.
Nevertheless, the bitter taste in his mouth was because his heart was not yet hardened enough to endure the moment when someone’s life completely disappeared from this world.
“Nurse Kim, I’ll leave this to you.”
“Yes, doctor.”
The doctor entrusted the aftermath to the nurse who was watching Ian with the same pitying expression as himself. Though it was heartbreaking, the patient had already stopped breathing, and there were many patients still hovering between life and death at that very moment.
“Once you’ve gathered yourself, I’ll explain the funeral procedures to you. Until you move him to the funeral hall, your grandfather will be kept in the temporary mortuary.”
Even at the nurse’s kind voice from beside him, Ian only sobbed while clutching his grandfather’s hand. If only he could turn back time. Usually being a heavy sleeper, he had never properly seen his grandfather off whenever he left for the market to prepare for business.
Though he had known for some time that his grandfather found going to the market alone difficult because of his bad knees, he had never gone with him even once. This was because he couldn’t wake up despite setting multiple alarms and just slept soundly. His grandfather had never once woken Ian up.
If only he had gone to the market with his grandfather today. Then his grandfather wouldn’t be lying on this emergency room bed growing cold, but would be smiling at him with his wrinkled eyes completely folded.
He couldn’t stand how much he resented himself. Even if he couldn’t go to the market together, if only he had gone out to look for his grandfather who was unusually late coming home today.
If only he had discovered his grandfather bleeding and dying and come to the hospital just a little earlier, wouldn’t he still be alive?
“I’m sorry, it’s all because of me…….”
He knew the fault lay with the bastard who had hit his grandfather with a car and run away, but it felt like everything was his fault.
He couldn’t even say a final goodbye. Not a word of thanks for raising him all this time, nor an apology for never being able to properly repay him. By the time Ian arrived at the hospital, his grandfather’s breathing had already stopped.
He was the one who had raised Ian, who had practically no parents, like precious gold and jade since childhood. From birth, Ian had cost a lot in medical expenses due to his broken heart, unlike others.
Even amid all that, his grandfather operated a soup restaurant of about 20 pyeong from dawn until night without missing a single day, wanting to feed and clothe his only grandchild with only good things.
Clutching the rough hands weathered from daily hardship, Ian cried like a small child.
Though he knew from the deepening wrinkles around his grandfather’s eyes that their time flowed differently, he never expected to part with his grandfather so suddenly, without any mental preparation.
This was especially so because his grandfather, though close to seventy years old, had been healthy except for his bad knee joints.
“Huuk, how can I live alone without grandfather……. You said I was still a baby…….”
Even though he turned twenty this year, in his grandfather’s eyes Ian was still like a young child who needed care. He had given Ian unstinting love so that he wouldn’t feel the absence of his parents much, to the point of usually calling Ian “baby” instead of by his name.
Among the thick smell of blood, he caught his grandfather’s scent. The subtle fragrance of camellia flowers, the smell of old books, and even the faint smell of cigarettes. As the fragrance that would waft when he hugged his grandfather brushed past his nose, his sadness grew even greater.
It was when the nurse’s eyes reddened with pity watching Ian cry as if dying that Ian suddenly clutched his chest with his hand. A different kind of suppressed groan from before flowed out through his pale lips.
“Huk…….”
Ian squeezed his eyes shut at the pain as if his chest was being wrung. His head went completely white, unable to bear the pain he was feeling after so long.
His heart, which had been beating rapidly since hearing the news of his grandfather’s accident, couldn’t withstand the excessive stress and started acting up. Like someone was wringing his heart, he couldn’t breathe properly.
“Oh my, guardian!”
Ian collapsed to the floor. Even in that moment, one hand desperately held tight to his grandfather’s wrinkled hand. The startled nurse approached Ian and checked his complexion.
He was sweating like rain, and his complexion was gradually turning blue in an ominous way.
“Doctor! Please come here!”
Ian’s fingertips twitched. Through his consciousness fading far away, he heard the nurse’s voice desperately calling for someone.
He mustn’t lose consciousness. He had to keep staying by his grandfather’s side. Our grandfather has no one but me.
He tried somehow to hold onto consciousness, but as if mocking his efforts, everything before his eyes suddenly flickered pitch black.
‘My baby, what will you do with me leaving you alone.’
A longed-for voice echoed in his ears. He wanted to cry out desperately asking if it was grandfather, but right after, everything went dark.
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“Oh my, what to do. Poor Ian. That young thing, how will he live alone after leaving like this. His son didn’t come today either, did he? I mean Sangmin.”
“It’s better for both Old Man Yeon and Ian that that bastard son doesn’t show up. Even if he shows up, he’ll just shake down all the condolence money and go gambling again. That dog-like bastard.”
At the conversation heard nearby, Ian hugged both his knees. Still finding it difficult to meet people’s eyes, he hid his face between his knees.
Everyone who came to the funeral hall felt sorry for his grandfather’s death and Ian being left alone, while simultaneously cursing his father.
After collapsing in the emergency room and waking up, he went through his grandfather’s funeral procedures with the help of hospital staff. He obtained the funeral hall through the hospital’s connections. Though it wasn’t a very large scale, the inside of the funeral hall was crowded with mourners.
