However, Yuho’s heart ached because Inhan’s appearance seemed like looking at his past self.
Was he also unable to bear himself? Many thoughts occurred to Yuho.
“I won’t run away.”
But Yuho now knew that he had reached a dead end. He shouldn’t run away anymore either.
Just as Inhan had held Yuho’s hand again no matter how many times he pushed him away, Yuho too came to not want to let go of Inhan’s hand.
“I won’t run away anymore.”
Yuho said, hardening his resolve once more.
At Yuho’s answer, Inhan’s tightly furrowed brow loosened again.
“I’m not flirting with Jua noona. So hyung, don’t seduce other people either.”
Inhan turned his gaze away and spoke to Yuho in a much softened voice.
Yuho looked back at Inhan in an uncertain state, wondering if he had heard wrong. Inhan met Yuho’s gaze again and added in a languid voice.
“If you’re going to seduce anyone, try seducing me.”
He must be crazy. Yuho barely held back what he almost blurted out loud and hurriedly avoided Inhan’s gaze. His face was burning hot, so it was obvious he had turned red with 100% certainty. While Yuho’s heart was in chaos and he couldn’t come to his senses, Inhan calmly took Yuho’s hand again.
And shifted his gaze back to his phone.
Inhan – [Then let’s meet tomorrow]
Jua – [Yeah see you tomorrow]
A faint smile hung on Inhan’s face as he looked at the phone screen.
* * *
Even though Yuho had heard directly from Inhan that it wasn’t true, his hands were moving as if possessed.
He ended up turning on the regular variety show that Inhan and Yeomin appeared on, and among them, chose to play the episode that happened to feature actress Yoo Jua.
With a chaotic start, the guests appeared 15 minutes in and continued with self-introductions.
“Hello. I’m actress Yoo Jua. I’m nervous since it’s been a while since I’ve done variety. Please take care of me.”
“Welcome. We’re so glad you came.”
“Do you have a favorite male idol by any chance?”
Before actress Min Jeonga’s welcoming comment even ended, actor Jin Seonwoo’s question was thrown out unexpectedly.
“Ah. Hyung.”
“Ooh. Old-fashioned hosting.”
At the same time, Inhan was disgusted and Yeomin sent boos. But Seonwoo continued his question regardless.
“You can include the kids here too when you answer.”
“Ah. I like Jung Inhan-ssi who’s here.”
“This seems too much like receiving bows while lying down.”
At Jua’s obvious answer, Yeomin protested, but Jua actually denied Yeomin’s words.
“No. I’ve always really liked Inhan-ssi. I enjoyed watching the drama he starred in too. And he dances so well.”
“Ah. Thank you.”
“Wow. Jung Inhan.”
Inhan offered a brief greeting and Seonwoo made a fuss.
“As expected of this year’s Brand Grand Prize winning actor-idol.”
“Ah hyung. Please stop with that.”
“Why? I want to brag about my talented dongsaeng.”
The atmosphere was harmonious and naturally Inhan and Jua became one team.
After that, the pink filter and lovey-dovey captions plastered on whenever just the two of them appeared on screen were very annoying, but in reality the two were only absorbed in carrying out the mission.
Nothing much. Yuho tried to return to viewer mode with peace of mind, but what actually made Yuho concerned was Inhan’s attitude toward Yeomin.
“Inhan. Aren’t you hot?”
Yeomin, who had been divided into a different team and moving separately the whole time, approached Inhan and spoke to him. Inhan answered Yeomin with a puzzled face.
“It’s bearable though?”
“Want to switch outerwear?”
“Why?”
“Because I’m hot. This is faux leather so there’s no ventilation.”
“If I switch with you, won’t I be hot from now on?”
“So. Let’s take turns being hot.”
“What kind of nonsense is that?”
Inhan scolded Yeomin with disgust. Yeomin made a sulky expression and asked Inhan.
“Can’t you even do that for your beloved hyung?”
“No. I can’t. And I don’t love hyung. Go quickly and find the mission paper.”
“Anyway. Cold bastard.”
Was Inhan originally such a heartless kid? Inhan had countless times made Yuho wear and take off his clothes whether he was hot or cold.
Must be conscious of NanYeom fans.
Yuho thought simply and continued watching.
“Yeomin hyung. I really won’t let you off.”
The two clashed again when Yeomin forcibly took Inhan’s mission paper.
Yeomin started running at full speed and Inhan chased desperately behind him.
In just 3 minutes, Yeomin was caught by the scruff of the neck by Inhan. Yeomin, perhaps exhausted, lay face down on the ground and struggled to the end not to have the paper taken. Thanks to that, the two continued their tussle rolling on the ground.
As expected of Yudings and best friends, their playing was no different from preschool children.
“Jung Inhan. I won’t let you off someday.”
“That’s right. Why covet what’s someone else’s?”
Inhan finally snatched the mission paper from Yeomin’s hand and ran away.
At that merciless sight, Yuho came to think again about Inhan’s competitive spirit.
Then he suddenly recalled Inhan whispering to him during their own content filming long ago.
“What are you going to throw?”
“I’m doing scissors.”
“Got it.”
Inhan answered simply. Yuho really threw scissors and Inhan threw paper as if to show off.
“Ah. I thought it was a trick.”
With a face that clearly showed no regret, Inhan made bland remarks and voluntarily accepted the penalty.
There had been countless such days.
There were countless days when if Yuho was falling behind in points in a game, Inhan would deliberately make mistakes and become last place instead, or even when Yuho was on a different team, he’d keep helping and receive scolding from the hyungs.
“Ah Raul hyung. Don’t touch Yuho hyung.”
There were moments like when he was having a water-spraying chase with Raulie at the concert venue, he’d come running lest Yuho get wet, put him in his arms and make sick sounds.
“How else can I beat you if not through Hyo hyung?”
There were overflowing times when the members naturally regarded Yuho as Inhan’s weakness.
At that time, Inhan was soaking wet from head to shoes, but Yuho only had the sleeve ends caught by Inhan slightly wet.
“I can do it too.”
“I know.”
“But why do you keep doing it for me?”
“Originally when you love someone, you want to do things for them that they could do alone anyway.”
Inhan said that while bending down to tie Yuho’s untied shoelace. On stage where concert rehearsal was in full swing, Inhan kept doing that without caring about anyone else’s gaze.
“Didn’t you know? I love hyung.”
Inhan’s face smiling as he said that was so pretty that Yuho had thought he wished time would stop right there.
“And I really like discovering my traces on hyung.”
How nice would it have been if I hadn’t loved you.
How nice would it have been if I could naturally respond to the love you speak of and say I love you first.
If so, regardless of reality, I could have relied on the word “forever” that you speak of and stayed by your side for life.
Naturally being introduced to your girlfriend, being invited to your wedding and housewarming, and becoming a good uncle to your child—I could have drawn such a future too.
But sadly, Yuho’s wishes couldn’t come true.
“I’m sorry.”
“Huh? What’s that suddenly about?”
“I don’t love you to that extent.”
“Wow. That hurts. I should untie the laces again.”
“Ah. Don’t.”
Even as Inhan playfully reached his hand toward Yuho’s sneakers, when Yuho staggered, he immediately reached out and grabbed Yuho’s wrist. Inhan properly shifted Yuho’s center of gravity while saying.
“It’s okay. I can love hyung twice as much.”
Yuho knew all of Inhan’s words were sincere. So maybe he was more cowardly. Because he didn’t want to be hated. Because even if I let go of your hand, I don’t have the confidence to endure you letting go of mine. Maybe that’s why he kept choosing the side where Inhan hurt more. It was a problem that would be solved if he just didn’t love Inhan.
He was tormenting Inhan because he couldn’t accomplish that simple thing.
“Jung Inhan. Let’s really see at the dorm.”
“What if we see at the dorm?”
“Starting today, you’re banned from entering my room.”
“I’m not going to see hyung anyway?”
“Either way, entry banned.”
Watching Yeomin and Inhan still bickering, Yuho smiled bitterly.
Maybe he too could have become a friend-like hyung like Yeomin or Raulie. He might have been able to become a kind hyung like Jueon, or a reliable hyung like Taylor. But reality was dismal.
Yuho stopped the variety program in a gloomy mood and closed the internet window.
It was the night of the 14th day since contact from Inhan had stopped.
* * *
“My beloved Yuho hyung. You have to sleep well and eat well even without me.”
Though it wasn’t just a day or two, Yeomin hugged Yuho tightly and gave a long farewell greeting like someone leaving for a distant journey. Yuho patted Yeomin’s back with his face crushed against the shoulder of Yeomin, who was similar in height.
“You take care of your stamina too and be careful when filming action scenes.”
“Hyung, don’t let just anyone into your room either. Especially a twenty-two-year-old man whose surname is Jung and name is Inhan.”
“Ah. That’s beyond my capabilities.”
“Leaving our precious Yuho hyung in a house with Jung Inhan makes my feet not want to leave. Hyung. Want to just come with me?”
“No.”
“Ah. Our Yuho hyung is attractive even when cold-hearted.”
“Yeomin. Come out quickly. If we’re later, we’ll hit traffic.”
Yeomin’s affectionate expression that seemed like it would never end was terminated by manager Juseung’s one remark.
“Yuho hyung. Bye bye.”
“Yeah. Bye bye.”
To Yeomin who greeted him with his face full of regret, Yuho waved his hand back. But as if even that wasn’t enough, Yeomin pulled Yuho’s hand.
“See me off to the entrance.”
After going to the shoe cabinet, hugging once more and separating, Yeomin was eventually dragged out by Juseung who grabbed both his shoulders.
Yuho watched the front door close and turned his body to head back to his room.
“Anyone would think you two are dating.”
Yuho’s shoulders flinched in surprise at the familiar voice coming from the diagonal direction. Turning his stiff head, Inhan was leaning against the kitchen wall holding a coffee cup.
