“Yeah, you’re always shining like a diamond.”
Inhan hummed a line from ‘DIA,’ one of 7SPOT’s songs, and laughed playfully. Yuho knew better than anyone the appropriate response that should follow that action.
“Like a star in the night sky, light up my heart.”
Yuho also sang the next verse as if it were nothing, responding to Inhan’s playfulness. If he’d only act like this much, they could end it as just good hyung and dongsaeng.
“As expected of Yuho hyung. This is why I like you, hyung.”
“Do you act this flirty with girls too?”
Yuho crossed the line once more. It was roughly the hundred thirty-second attempt at a confirmation kill.
“Was I being flirty?”
Inhan asked back with a face that had no idea what Yuho meant. Right. If there’s no intention to seduce, what flirting would there be?
Yuho pulled himself together again and said to Inhan.
“No. I was joking too.”
“If I were to be flirty, would you accept it, hyung?”
At Inhan’s following words, Yuho’s mind became disturbed. He didn’t know how long he’d have to be swayed by Inhan’s words that couldn’t be distinguished as jokes or serious. Yuho maintained his composure and said to Inhan.
“What would you even use me for if you seduced me?”
“To keep you by my side for life.”
It was Inhan’s favorite phrase. For life. Forever. Eternally. Despite being only twenty-two years old, Inhan had those words on his lips like a habit. But Yuho knew how empty and absurd those words were.
It was a fact Inhan would realize someday without needing to be told.
So Yuho casually brushed off Inhan’s words as a joke.
“Why? To make me watch your children and grandchildren being born from beside you?”
“Oh. Sounds good? I’ll throw your 60th birthday party for you and send you on a 60th birthday trip too. Ah. Or we could just go together.”
At Inhan’s concretely drawn plan for 40 years in the future, Yuho let out an incredulous laugh. Should I really watch you living well with another woman until I’m sixty? It was such an absurd idea that he wasn’t even angry.
Meanwhile, Inhan was seeking agreement from Yuho.
“How about it?”
“How about what? Say something that makes sense.”
“What doesn’t make sense?”
“You want me to decide about something 40 years from now and tell you?”
“So what? I’ll still be by your side then anyway.”
“No.”
“Ah. Why?”
“I’ll have my 60th birthday party with my wife and go on my 60th birthday trip with my wife. You go with yours.”
Yuho drew a firm line. He was starting to get scared of just how far Inhan’s life plan involving him extended. Not disappointing expectations, Inhan said to Yuho with an excited face.
“Then we can go as couples together.”
What should I do with this crazy bastard?
Instead of answering, Yuho shook his head and lamented his situation. Me, who received a proposal for a joint 60th birthday trip from my one-sided love, what should I do?
His head spun at this dilemma he couldn’t consult anyone about.
Unaware of Yuho’s inner turmoil, Inhan’s head was full of flowers.
“Should we go to America? How about New York? We could watch a few musicals on Broadway.”
Yuho didn’t answer until the end.
* * *
– 3 months before 7SPOT’s disbandment discussion –
‘I love you.’
Inhan whispered love to the person before him with those pretty lips.
That desperate confession was as sweet as a dream from some day, and Yuho shed tears.
‘I truly love you so much.’
Tears dripped from Inhan’s grief-laden eyes, wetting his fair cheeks.
At the same time, Yuho also sniffled.
Ah. Why is this so sad?
It was hard to tell whether it was sad because of the drama’s content or because of Inhan’s crying face.
‘I love you. Seoyeon.’
The woman facing Inhan was actress Son Eunseol, known as the epitome of first love.
She was the female lead who had recently had dating rumors with Inhan in the drama, an actress who was rumored to have good facial chemistry with Inhan even before the drama casting. Something about similar art styles or whatever. Come to think of it, their double-lidded eyes did seem somewhat similar.
An article denying the scandal came out right away, and most fans seemed to believe it.
[Using drama promotion like this pisses me off]
[Using an idol as the male lead and doing such dirty promotion, is getting buzz all that matters?]
[Isn’t this actually having the opposite effect? If idol male lead drama fans don’t watch, who will?]
Yuho somewhat agreed with the angry OneSpots’ comments.
Putting aside unnecessary thoughts, Yuho decided to focus on the drama again.
‘But we can’t love each other.’
“Ah, what’s he saying.”
Yuho sighed and spoke at Inhan’s following line.
What do you mean can’t? Where is there age in love, where are there borders? Yuho raged at Inhan with excessive immersion.
‘So let’s stop here.’
“Bad bastard.”
When Yuho spat out profanity at Inhan’s line, Taylor, who was passing by, was startled and scolded Yuho.
“Why are you watching a drama with such immersion?”
“Hyung. Inhan is so mean.”
Yuho said to Taylor with an upset face. Taylor said to Yuho incredulously.
“Then don’t watch it. Why are you cursing while watching?”
“But he’s so cool.”
“Who? Jung Inhan?”
“No. Eunseol noona.”
Yuho deliberately deflected and focused on the drama again. There was only one reason Yuho watched Inhan’s drama. Because he could see Inhan in various outfits.
Inhan in a suit. Inhan in military uniform. Inhan in uniform. The director understood the heart of a fan so well that it was suspicious whether they were playing dress-up with Inhan.
The movie where he appeared as a priest last time was really no joke too. Yuho continued watching the drama with the heart of a true fan.
‘Can you do that? Stop loving? I can’t. I absolutely can’t do that.’
‘Don’t do this. Seoyeon. I can’t make you unhappy too.’
‘I don’t want to. Doha. Even if the place you’re going is hell, I’ll go with you.’
‘Seoyeon.’
Ah. Be surprised. Yuho involuntarily squeezed his eyes shut. Because he was spacing out, he ended up capturing in his vision the moment their lips touched. I knew they’d kiss today somehow. Yuho regretted it and focused on the flowing OST. Seeing this, Taylor asked incredulously.
“Why are you closing your eyes?”
“Watching my member’s business is always hard, you know.”
“Just don’t watch the drama.”
Saying that, Taylor settled down next to Yuho. And he provided live commentary that didn’t need to be said out loud.
“Woohoo. That’s intense. Do they usually film it like that? Maybe there really is something between them?”
Yuho involuntarily opened one eye slightly. Ah. Someday curiosity will kill me. Yuho felt his heart sink at the back-and-forth between the two people happening before his eyes. Instead of closing his eyes again, Yuho lowered his gaze. At the same time, Taylor threw a question at Yuho.
“Haven’t you heard anything?”
“About what?”
“Whether they’re really dating or not.”
“No. I haven’t heard anything.”
“Really? Then I guess it’s really not true. Inhan tells you everything.”
At Taylor’s words, Yuho didn’t answer. He couldn’t tell whether there really was nothing, or if there was something but Inhan just didn’t tell him.
After the stage fall accident, Inhan’s attitude toward Yuho had subtly changed.
Should he say the consideration increased? Should he say he was keeping distance? In short, he had more secrets.
It’s not like my feelings will get better because of that. Since he couldn’t step forward and explain, Yuho was just accepting Inhan’s change.
“Or are you really dating him?”
“What?”
Yuho wondered what Taylor was saying. Surely hyung isn’t referring to me and Inhan. He tried to deny and pretend not to know. But Taylor was asking Yuho with an indifferent face.
“Or are you still liking him one-sidedly?”
Yuho thought it would be nice if time just stopped right there.
At some point, Yuho had thought his love that would end without even confessing was pitiful. If anyone was going to find out, he thought it would be better if it were Inhan. Because if it were Inhan, even if he found out, he seemed like he would notice Yuho’s desire not to be caught and pretend not to know until the end.
So sometimes he was curious. What if Inhan knew everything but was pretending not to?
Then one day, like Taylor now, would he casually ask, are you still liking me?
He sometimes had such thoughts.
“Who likes who?”
Then Yuho would make excuses and pour out harsher words as a defense mechanism.
I’ve never loved you once in my life. If he saw Inhan sad after hearing those words, would he be happy, or would his heart ache along with him? Yuho had thought about it many times.
The ending of the two people that Yuho drew was always a sad ending, so he thought it would be better if his love gradually disappeared without being caught by anyone. That was the happy ending Yuho wished for.
But Yuho was caught by Taylor and was noticeably flustered.
“Why are you so surprised?”
There was no hole to escape through.
“Ah. Well…”
“Are you asking if Inhan is still one-sidedly crushing? And you’re just looking for a chance to run away.”
At Taylor’s following words, Yuho let out a sigh of relief. In the end, he’d only made himself look suspicious. What if I’d made a slip of the tongue? Yuho patted his chest and said to Taylor with a face tinged with laughter.
“What kind of nonsense is that?”
“You want to quit group activities, don’t you?”
At Taylor’s question, Yuho felt caught off guard in a different sense. He was even scared of Taylor’s good intuition for noticing inner feelings he’d never once shown.
