Because he was a good person, Surim felt certain he would understand his situation. He just needed to explain it well.
Surim took a moment to choose his words. Where should he start explaining the circumstances that led him to decide to terminate the contract? When his eyes met Song Hanyeong’s, the words just burst out before he could even come to a conclusion about how to say it.
“Hyung said… He said he wanted me to diligently go to work like a normal person, date prettily, eat lots of delicious things…”
Song Hanyeong nodded as if waiting for the story to continue.
“But if things keep going like this, I feel like I’m going to starve to death.”
“Because of the vegetarian diet?”
“No, it’s not that…”
Not being able to eat properly was a psychological problem. One related to his dead hyung, at that. Surim, who hadn’t even informed the company about his hyung’s death, hesitated with his words.
Song Hanyeong didn’t press him and waited quietly. Looking at him, Surim suddenly remembered something he had briefly forgotten.
“How much do you know about the contract?”
“Everything.”
“Then do you know about my hyung too?”
“I do.”
“Then, do you also know that hyung… died?”
“…Yes.”
Surim looked up at Song Hanyeong in a daze.
“When I talked about hyung at the company dinner… you knew everything…?”
“Yes.”
“Then, you knew hyung didn’t go abroad to study but died, and yet you still talked about your father who went on a business trip…!”
“My father is also someone who passed away.”
Just as Surim was about to burst out in anger, Song Hanyeong spoke calmly. His anger cooled instantly. So he wasn’t comparing his dead hyung to a father on a business trip, but was talking about his deceased father…
That meant Song Hanyeong had also talked to his father’s urn or grave as if having a conversation. It wasn’t deception, but advice he had learned through past experience.
“I’m sorry…”
“There’s no need. Rather, please continue what you were saying.”
“…The truth is, after hyung died, I couldn’t eat…”
“That can’t be.”
He definitely saw him eating tofu salad. He ate a lot at the company dinner too. Song Hanyeong furrowed his brow.
“I’m not lying, the company dinner was really the first time in a long while that I had a proper meal. Usually when I eat something, I throw it up a little later. Except for liquids like juice or green juice.”
“…The green juice you were drinking in the break room.”
“Yes, that green juice.”
“But you don’t seem to throw up meat?”
“That’s…”
Even though he had decided to tell everything, he couldn’t help but hesitate when it came to this point. Surim knew too. This wasn’t a normal way of mourning. Even he thought it was excessive and pathetic.
There are many people who overcome it well, so why am I…
“Before he died, hyung said we should go eat delicious things together and saved restaurants in his favorites. Everest is one of them too. I could eat food from restaurants hyung had starred.”
Surim paused for a moment and looked up at Song Hanyeong.
“You said it yourself, Manager Song. That hyung would be happy if he knew his younger brother was eating well. Maybe it was thanks to those words.”
“…So it’s half my responsibility.”
“Also, you said that talking helps. So I went home and told hyung’s urn all about how the food tasted. Then my heart felt much lighter. I slept soundly for the first time in a week.”
Surim rolled his eyes and added defensively. His head gradually drooped lower.
“There’s no basis for this, but I have a feeling that once I’ve visited all the restaurants hyung saved in his favorites, everything will be okay then.”
He felt like only then could he properly let hyung go.
Hyung had been the only family Surim had left after their parents passed away in a traffic accident when he was fifteen. Although he had lived for a long time unable to even get out of bed, and even after that had a body that made discharge impossible, hyung had been Surim’s only comfort.
Having lost that hyung now, Surim actually found it difficult to even stand properly. If he let his guard down even a little, his heart would beat anxiously with the thought that he would just collapse on the ground and melt into the earth.
Perhaps he hadn’t grown at all since he was fifteen. His exterior had grown, but inside he remained as sensitive as a pubescent child, full of fear and confusion, still weak.
If he were an adult, he should be able to handle this situation more composedly, but he wasn’t able to do that.
“Manager Song.”
“Yes.”
“Please… please save me…”
So please terminate the contract.
That’s what Surim was trying to say. He wasn’t trying to suddenly beg for his life like this, but to ask for understanding since the situation had become like this. But the words that burst out of his mouth weren’t a rational conclusion but an irrational plea.
The moment the flustered Surim covered his mouth, tears came pattering down. Surim couldn’t understand how this had happened. He roughly rubbed and wiped around his eyes with his sleeve, when suddenly Song Hanyeong grabbed his wrist.
“……”
“……”
After a moment of silence, Song Hanyeong reached out his other hand to Surim. The hesitantly approaching hand touched around his cheek, then wiped away the tears with his thumb.
“…If you rub like that, your eyes will get bruised.”
“Y-yes…”
Surim looked up at Song Hanyeong as if entranced. The moment the hot body temperature touched his cheek, he understood. The reason the words “save me” came out instead of terminating the contract was because he didn’t want to lose Song Hanyeong.
The reason he had been able to be dispatched to this Research Lab 0 was probably because he was a blood provider. No, perhaps even his successful employment had been because of that.
If that was the case, the moment he terminated the blood provision contract, the dispatch assignment might be canceled. In the worst case, he could even be fired. To think he would end up in a position where he could never meet Song Hanyeong again, whom he had just encountered—he hated it. This wasn’t simply a matter of dislike, but an element that greatly affected Surim’s life.
Right now, every time Surim fell into an abyss and gasped for breath, what pulled him out was the warmth he felt from the existence called Song Hanyeong. If he hadn’t met him, perhaps Surim would have already…
Still, his cool chest grew even colder. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. No, I shouldn’t think like that. Hyung said to diligently go to work, date prettily, and eat lots of delicious things…
Surim grabbed onto Song Hanyeong with trembling hands.
“I don’t know what to do. Manager Song, please help me…”
Sniffle, a sob escaped. This time his eyes became thoroughly soaked. He thought his emotions were exploding too suddenly, but he couldn’t control himself. Grief gushed forth.
Perhaps he had become a bit broken after hyung’s death. Surim kept wiping away tears with a blank face, not understanding himself.
Song Hanyeong, who had been quietly watching him, suddenly asked.
“Can you show me the list of restaurants?”
“What? Why…?”
“Now.”
Surim took out his phone with the hand that wasn’t being held and opened the map app. Song Hanyeong bent down and came closer, looking at the screen. Their faces were so close that his tears suddenly stopped.
When he showed the favorites list shared with hyung’s account with trembling hands, Song Hanyeong scanned through the map with a serious face.
After checking his watch, Song Hanyeong said.
“Let’s go.”
“Where?”
“To eat dinner.”
“What? I can’t eat…”
“Get up.”
* * *
What’s happening right now?
Surim looked around in confusion. Right now, he was sitting in a luxurious chair with a beautiful night view beneath his feet, in the process of choosing from a menu. Of course, Song Hanyeong was sitting across from him.
Song Hanyeong sat elegantly with his legs crossed, scanning the menu with his eyes. There was also a menu in Surim’s hands, but unlike Song Hanyeong, he absolutely couldn’t focus on choosing food.
“…Everyone’s a couple…”
“What did you say?”
“Nothing.”
Surim tried harder to curl up his body and hide behind the menu. Of course, it was an effort with little effect.
Actually, Surim knew that too. But even so, it was difficult to be here confidently. Because he thought this wasn’t a place that suited him.
Everywhere all around were only couples, and they were deeply absorbed in conversation with their partners, their cheeks flushed with anticipation. The food had been served, but in reality there wasn’t a single couple anywhere paying attention to their meal.
Because once they entered this restaurant, they knew what was going to happen to each other. Namely, a proposal with carefully chosen flowers and a ring sparkling with diamonds.
That’s right. This was a famous proposal restaurant. Recently, it was even said that because it was so famous, it was conversely called a boring proposal spot. The information hyung had excitedly chattered about, saying he heard from a nurse that there was a place like this, was vivid in his mind.
To hyung who said he really wanted to go, Surim had dismissed it saying to get a girlfriend and go to a place like that, but hyung had definitely starred it regardless of Surim’s opinion. So when he looked at the restaurant list, he must have brought Surim here.
It wasn’t that he wasn’t grateful to Song Hanyeong for caring about his meal. But did it have to be this place?
Right now, the two of them sitting across the table from each other would definitely look like the perfect gay couple.
