# Chapter 4
Yeo Dowoon sank into despair as he contemplated the faces of the S-class Espers he was now almost sick of seeing. It seemed that his plan to quietly slip away from the Esper group had hit a major snag.
When Dowoon showed signs of anguish, Kwon Jeonghoo rose with a smirk. Picking up another chocolate, he walked toward Dowoon. The sound of his dress shoes echoed.
“Ah, come on.”
“…What is it?”
As the small brown object tapped against his lips, Dowoon looked up defiantly.
Despite having met at seventeen when he didn’t even know how to open a bank account, and having lived together through thick and thin long enough for mountains to change, he didn’t want to be treated like a child.
When he twisted his head away, Jeonghoo clicked his tongue and firmly gripped his chin. The hard surface of the chocolate pressed against his slightly parted mouth.
“Eat something sweet and cheer up.”
In truth, Dowoon hadn’t been fond of sweet foods since childhood.
The one who enjoyed sweet things was actually Cha Haseong, not himself. Unconsciously thinking of Haseong again, Dowoon bit into the chocolate with a crumpled expression.
His tongue felt pickled in the sickeningly sweet chocolate, making him feel as if his flesh would immediately necrotize.
“It tastes awful.”
If he were to be precise, it wasn’t because of the sweetness but because of Haseong, but regardless, Dowoon criticized Jeonghoo. In response to his whining tone, Jeonghoo patted his shoulder as if to say “what can you do?”
Adding an unnecessary piece of advice that first loves are always painful, Dowoon merely muttered desolately:
“It’s been painful for five years already.”
“What if it had been fifty years?”
After making the unfunny joke, Jeonghoo lightly pinched Dowoon’s cheek.
“Why are you trying to run away, Dowoon? He’s the one being an idiot.”
“…”
“If you want to retire, start underground. You understand, right?”
The following sentence was so outrageous it seemed utterly unrealistic.
***
Although he had been thoroughly rejected without the slightest opening, his desire to retire hadn’t subsided. If anything, it had flared up even more, making him crave the freedom to choose his profession.
“Didn’t you say you were retiring soon?”
“…Ah, seriously.”
SLAM!
As the cabinet door was forcefully shut, Ko Ijae, who had encountered Dowoon in the changing room and asked a casual greeting question, couldn’t help but tense up. Dowoon, who had been flapping his training clothes back and forth, spoke in a low voice.
“It’s so damn hot.”
It was a poor excuse, but Ko Ijae didn’t bother to point it out as he searched for his own cabinet.
Perhaps because the air conditioning was blowing so fiercely, goosebumps rose all over his body as soon as he removed his top. Glancing sideways at Dowoon, Ko Ijae cautiously asked:
“…Don’t we have pair training today?”
When pair training was scheduled with Dowoon in a bad mood, it was common for his partner to end up being carried away exhausted. So there was an urgent need to assess the situation.
He could clearly foresee his future of being tormented for hours by those damned flames and freezing, collapsing from exhaustion. It’s not like that guy was the type to adjust his power level based on someone else’s condition either.
“Why else would I be here if we didn’t?”
“Well, because Cha Haseong…”
Ko Ijae was about to continue with “is here,” but faced with a murderous glare, he quickly shut his mouth.
According to information received this morning, it seemed that Cha Haseong had finally found someone.
Therefore, it was somewhat understandable why Dowoon, who had been following him around like a zealot begging for love, was now behaving so viciously.
Jealousy, betrayal, resentment. It had to be at least one of those.
“I’ll go ahead first.”
Fortunately, Dowoon left the changing room stoically, as if he had no intention of tormenting him further.
The sigh of relief that burst from Ko Ijae traveled in waves all the way outside. As an Esper who could manipulate air density, he seemed to be unconsciously projecting his sound toward Dowoon.
“Your breathing sounds absolutely dreadful.”
Now even these small habits of his fellow Espers no longer felt welcome to Dowoon.
He just wanted to escape this tumultuous Esper base as soon as possible and forge a new life without Cha Haseong. Of course, his heart still seriously fluttered whenever he thought of him.
“You’re early, Dowoon-ssi.”
Enough to make tender feelings well up if he were to address him with that pretty eye-smile that planted baseless hope, with that gentle voice that made one beg for a fragment of emotion.
“There’s still quite some time before training starts.”
Thud, his heart sank once.
Do you really, really have someone you love now? Do you really like someone else?
Just as the urge to ask him these questions, pretending to be shameless and oblivious, was taking over his consciousness—
…I could have just stayed in the changing room, so why did I crawl all the way here just to look at his face? Dowoon carefully chose his words.
“It’s been a while since I’ve had pair training with Esper Ko Ijae, so I came out to warm up.”
The reason was simple: he desperately wanted to respond normally.
But his answer dragged on more than expected, leaving him with deep regrets. It would have been much cleaner if he had shortened the beginning.
“I see,” Haseong smiled brightly and calmly assessed:
“So you need to come early and even warm up when training with Ko Ijae-ssi.”
“…”
“I didn’t think your compatibility was particularly good… interesting.”
Since Dowoon was notoriously peculiar for only participating in warm-ups when paired with Espers he deemed worthy of his time, Haseong’s observation was not without merit.
This arrogant Esper had even openly expressed his annoyance whenever training with Ko Ijae was mentioned on the schedule.
“Ah… well, I’m trying to be more diligent from now on.”
So Dowoon could only offer an excuse that sounded absurd even to his own ears.
Haseong, as if he hadn’t been expecting a response, threw out a completely unrelated question that didn’t fit the context of their conversation so far.
“Have you eaten?”
“No. I haven’t eaten yet.”
After receiving the thunderous news first thing in the morning that the object of his one-sided love might have found a lover, how could he have calmly picked up a spoon?
The mere sight of food made him nauseous, forcing him to make do with cold water for his meals. However, no matter how much cold water he drank, the burning sensation in his stomach wouldn’t subside, making it a terrible day where he ultimately had to crunch and swallow ice.
“Not a single meal?”
When Dowoon nodded, Haseong added with intrigue:
“You didn’t even have time to eat… yet you somehow managed to come out for warm-up.”
“…”
“Here, take it.”
The object eventually extended toward him was the banana-flavored protein drink that Haseong always used during training.
With his preference for sweet things, he could have chosen chocolate flavor, so Dowoon had always been curious why he specifically picked banana flavor.
As Dowoon just stared at his own hand, Haseong pressed the drink against his cheek with a thud.
“…Uh!”
Startled by the cold sensation on his skin, Dowoon stepped back, but Haseong narrowed the distance just as much as Dowoon moved away and spoke:
“Why do you keep running away?”
At these casually added words, Dowoon’s heart plummeted for the second time.
“Someone might think I’m trying to kiss you.”
…What if right now. What if I grab this person’s collar right now and press my lips to his?
After having his confessions kicked away ten times already, isn’t this much at least something I can hope for? Just as these ambivalent emotions were complicating his thoughts—
Dowoon breathed slowly, as if wanting to soothe his troubled mind.
Haseong in his eyes was exactly like a glass marble, and standing before his transparently shining surface, he felt afraid that any hidden indecency might be revealed.
“…I don’t like banana flavor.”
Perhaps because of this, Dowoon’s voice came out with a thin tremor.
Trying to maintain distance from someone he had offered messy affection to for almost five years caused cold sweat to bead on his skin.
Haseong, who had been wielding his friendly smile like a weapon, looked at his rejected hand with confusion. Deliberately twisting his head to avoid his gaze, Dowoon spoke haltingly:
“I tried to like it… but there are many things in life that don’t work out even if you try your best.”
“…”
“I thought I would get better eventually.”
It was a frank tone in which the lingering attachment and affection of the past five years were intermittently mixed.
In truth, Dowoon was rather inclined to believe in the old saying that no tree won’t fall after being hit ten times.
With the unfounded belief that if he waited, if he pursued, he would reach him at least once, he vaguely poured out pure love. All without realizing it was truly a misaligned one-way street.
“I’m sorry, Guide-nim.”
Therefore, he wasn’t simply apologizing for rejecting the drink that Haseong had kindly offered. He was essentially apologizing for emotions that were more dank and perhaps even gloomy.
One might question why he was giving up only now, but there could be no logical answer to that in the first place.
Emotions naturally come unexpectedly and leave without reason, don’t they? So it wasn’t that he was throwing a futile tantrum after being shocked by the news that Haseong had found a lover.
Dowoon just…
“Please drink that yourself.”
He just wanted to end this childish one-sided love, even like this.
