The janitor’s closet was dark and dust flew around. Cleaning supplies used to clean the school filled the shelves in large containers to the brim, and mops and such hung on the walls. It was absolutely not a romantic location, but Dave suddenly grabbed my face and started kissing me. His hands were truly large, nearly completely encompassing my head. Just like grabbing a basketball.
The body heat where we touched felt so hot. I tried hard to think of something else. Right, kissing. It’s fine to do it. Lips I’ve already thrown away once—throwing them away twice or three times… Being the second time, I think I’m somewhat used to it.
But something kept slipping in and out of my mouth—honestly, I don’t know what’s so good about it. Why does everyone kiss? Is it because rubbing such a sensitive area as the mucous membrane is intimate and private? Still, if it’s Dave, he’s handsome, so he’s not bad as a first or second kiss partner. He’s tall, has 97% popularity, and someone even gives up their life to kiss him once…
Plus, kissing raises the romance index… and I need to raise it anyway… I just obediently offered my lips and expected a status window to appear behind Dave. But…
NEW!
Romance index increased by 1%!
NEW!
Queer index increased by 1%!
【Rotten Pineapple】
Current [43]%
◈ High-teen: 100%
◈ Romance: 6%
◈ Queer: 6%
What? 1%? Only?
Heat almost surged up. No, it’s the same kiss, so why does it only go up 1%? Is it because it doesn’t have the impact of a first kiss? Is it because the location isn’t romantic at all? Then to raise it by 10%, I have to kiss Dave ten times? I frowned and glared at the numbers in the air. Give me more! More!
“…July.”
“Ah, huh?”
I shifted my gaze to the hand tapping my cheek—tap, tap. Dave was looking at me with a frowning face.
“Was my kiss that bad?”
“Uh… no. I was just a bit… scared. That someone might come in.”
I shook my head while forcing a smile. I was actually anxious too.
“No one will come in.”
“How do you know?”
“I know well.”
Dave laughed with a confident attitude. How can he be so sure… Mmph! Our lips locked again. But this time, no status window appeared at all. Is it because it counts as one scene? Then do it today, then tomorrow, the day after… But even doing that, if it goes up 1% at a time, I’m still 3% short. …Do I have to do something more than kissing? Is that it? This is supposed to be rated for all audiences!
“July, aren’t you focusing?”
“Ngh! I, I got it. I’m just clumsy.”
A tingling sensation felt on my lower lip pierced through my complicated mind. Dave had bitten it. Seeing that face full of dissatisfaction, I thought half-heartedly doing this wouldn’t get me anywhere. After hesitating, I wrapped my arms around Dave’s neck. Dave pulled up the corner of his mouth.
“Yeah, like that.”
Dave’s thumb lightly stroked my cheek and then pressed down on my lower lip. Dave kissed again, and I closed my eyes tightly and tried to endure the tongue stirring inside my mouth.
No matter how handsome and popular David Evans was, I couldn’t understand at all why kissing was good. Maybe it’s because of the elation that comes from intimate parts touching each other? Since just touching someone you like feels good.
“Ngh!”
Dave’s tongue rubbed the center of my tongue where the piercing was inserted. Does Dave like me? He’s already kissed me twice. That must be it, right?
I felt strange. This was the first time someone liked me. No, I’ve received confessions several times, so it’s not completely the first time but… this was the first time someone I could like liked me back. Thinking that way made my heart pound. For some reason, I felt a bit excited.
Is it okay to like a guy?
I’d worried since experiencing my first love—whether it’s okay to like the same sex. Mom, Dad, and hyung considered it unacceptable. So, as they always said, I thought it was my mutant trait manifesting, being beyond help and a freak. No matter how pretty a girl I saw, even if that girl confessed to me, I didn’t feel excited at all and my heart didn’t race.
I’d go to Korea University Medical School to become a doctor, meet a woman from a similar household, have about two kids, and live. That was the future I’d vaguely drawn for myself. But it went wrong from the first step, and I was now here, inside a drama. And I’d kissed a boy. Twice.
My first love came to mind. The student council president with an outgoing personality, a tall and handsome boy. His gentle voice asking me difficult math problems was soft and pleasant to hear.
That was the beginning. When our fingertips briefly touched while I was solving math problems for him, I thought electricity passed through. When he tapped my shoulder—tap, tap—saying thanks, my heart tingled. But he always had a girlfriend. I didn’t think my feelings would be reciprocated, and since they were ‘wrong’ feelings, I quickly gave up.
Is it really okay to like someone?
If I properly like Dave, the romance and queer index will rise. That’s something helpful to this world. Then, is it ‘right’ for me to like a boy in this place? Are these feelings not wrong, not mistaken?
Even as I held such expectations slyly, the heavy weight in a corner of my heart and the guilt constricting me were unavoidable. It was because of the teachings I’d received since childhood.
“…Dave, do you like me?”
When our lips separated for a moment, I asked carefully. Dave, cupping my cheek with one hand, looked down at me with affectionate eyes and answered.
“July, I feel very ecstatic when I kiss you. It feels good.”
…That means he likes me, right? There’s no way a popular guy like Dave would kiss someone he doesn’t like. Then… let me try liking Dave too. Push the guilt aside deliberately and properly like Dave. Then this kiss will feel thrilling like when my fingertips touched my first love’s.
Thump, thump, thump! My heart beat fast because I couldn’t believe and was scared that I’d resolved to try liking someone, and a guy at that.
With my eyes tightly closed, I also slyly put my tongue into Dave’s mouth. I felt I needed to erase my passive attitude. Dave blinked his slightly widened eyes as if a bit surprised but didn’t refuse. Rather, as if telling me to try, he rubbed the nape of my neck. I clumsily tried to imitate what Dave had done.
I knew in my head that I should breathe through my nose, but it didn’t work well. I eventually ran out of breath, gently pushed Dave’s shoulder away, and panted. Dave kissed my chin where saliva had dripped.
“July, you’re really cute. This is my first time doing this with a guy.”
“…Then, have you done this with a girl?”
“I’ve only kissed. I told you. I think I’m gay.”
“…Mmph.”
You said you seemed asexual. Something seemed off, so I subtly frowned. Dave laughed softly—pfft—then poured out words at a somewhat fast pace. And immediately blocked my mouth with his lips.
I grabbed Dave’s neck as tightly as possible and trembled. Dave kept giggling even while kissing. I felt embarrassed being teased by a kid who was sixteen years old. When I thought I should be proactive as the older one and grabbed Dave’s cheeks firmly with both hands, bzzzzt! A vibration sounded.
“Ah, wait a sec.”
Dave released my arm and took out his cell phone from his pocket. Dave, staring at the screen intently, raised his left eyebrow.
“What?”
“Nothing. Just a bit… Should we go now? We need to get to class.”
Dave swept my hair behind my ear. Even though my hair was cut short with not much to sweep back.
“Let’s go.”
“Today… can we meet after school?”
I grabbed Dave’s football team jacket as he was about to leave first. It was me mustering up courage. I had to raise the romance index, and also… to properly try liking Dave, I needed to spend time together. Even knowing that would naturally lead to kissing again, I was embarrassed by this behavior. Heat rose to my face. I hoped I wasn’t turning bright red. That would be really embarrassing.
“Today? Hmm… I don’t think I can today?”
Dave, who rolled his eyes, shrugged his shoulders. Then he opened my hand to release the jacket and pressed my chest to push me deeper into the closet.
“I’ll go out first, so come out in… 5 minutes.”
Standing in the dim corner where light didn’t reach, I quietly watched Dave. Standing under the bright light, he looked around to confirm the hallway was empty, then left. Thud! When the door closed, the inside became even darker. It was so dim I could barely see if my shoelaces were properly tied. I crouched down. The handle of a liquid detergent container on the shelf pressed against my back.
“…Mm.”
I felt strange somehow. My stomach churned too. I moved my body back and forth with my head lowered and eventually lost balance and fell over. Since I was crouching, I didn’t fall badly, but my knee—thump!—hit the floor and hurt a bit. And I went outside only when 5 minutes had really passed, just as Dave said.
My eyes met with a few kids passing by, so I lowered my gaze for no reason. My heart beat rapidly—thump, thump. I was anxious and uneasy. Even though there’s no way they’d know what I’d done with Dave.
The hallway was so bright and brilliant that the guilt of having done something bad made my heart heavy again. I felt like I should quickly run back to the dark, dusty-smelling janitor’s closet. But since I had to go to class, I instead shrank my neck like a turtle and walked forward following my foot’s shadow, as if avoiding the light emitted by the hallway lights.
