# Chapter 64
Arden’s fingers fidgeted with the black rose. He felt anxious. It was strange. He thought he’d have no more wishes if Rite just returned safely. Yet far from feeling relieved, he was only growing more restless.
Rite seemed unfamiliar to Arden. Not just because he had suddenly become a full-grown adult, but also the sense of stability emanating from Rite, who had always appeared somewhat unstable.
The period during which Rite had acted particularly rebellious wasn’t very long, but Arden was only now realizing that Rite had always been somewhat oddly askew and immature in certain ways. Conversely, the current Rite showed no traces of that strange misalignment or the immature boy he once was.
It was an extraordinary rate of growth. Though Rite’s sense of time differed from ordinary humans, he had never grown this much in just a few months. Now, he couldn’t go unnoticed just by wearing a hood. Even standing still, his large frame had grown enough to make people turn their heads.
As soon as he arrived, Rite had casually headed to the bathroom saying he wanted to shower, but he hit his head on the doorframe. Even Rite himself didn’t properly realize how much he had grown.
Ashen blue eyes looked Rite over. All his old clothes were now too small. The tops were tight, and the bottoms revealed his ankles completely. When Rite tried to take off his top, complaining it was uncomfortable, Arden stopped him, and they eventually compromised by having him wrap a blanket around himself instead of wearing a top.
“Why do you keep looking at me like that? Do you have something to say?”
“Where have you been staying all this time?”
“In the forest.”
Arden’s mind went blank for a moment. He composed his expression and calmly asked again.
“…Where in the forest, and what were you doing?”
“I was wandering around here and there. Guess who I met there?”
Rite’s face showed both playfulness and anticipation simultaneously. Who? Arden narrowed his eyes.
Not what, but who did he meet? Was there someone else in this forest besides me?
“I met Artalis.”
“…Artalis? The Artalis I know?”
“She was talking about my destiny.”
Arden’s face turned pale. Destiny. He reacted immediately like someone allergic to that word. To be precise, he froze, unable to show any reaction at all.
“She said I was born with the destiny to kill the Emperor or something like that.”
“…”
“Well, I’m not interested in that. She said if I kill the Emperor, she’ll grant me a wish.”
“Absolutely not.”
Arden’s voice was more subdued than ever before. There wasn’t even time to consider whether the goddess actually existed. Someone had approached Rite and filled him with improper aspirations. That was the only important fact right now.
“I don’t know who’s telling you such nonsense, but no.”
“If I do that, I can become human.”
“How is that being human? Do you think you can kill someone and live normally afterward? And not just anyone, but your parents?”
Arden was almost screaming. His usual composure was gradually evaporating.
“Parents?”
At Rite’s words, Arden abruptly stopped talking. He had made a slip of the tongue.
“You knew whose body I came from?”
This wasn’t the time. Arden squeezed his eyes shut in agitation. Right now, he absolutely couldn’t afford to give ground. Though Rite hadn’t said he was leaving, Arden could tell.
This was the child he had raised. It was already evident on his face. Rite was thinking of leaving. He was planning to leave this forest to kill the Emperor. To follow his destiny.
“…Not long after I found you in the forest, a rumor spread. That a baby born with the destiny to kill the Emperor had been born.”
Arden struggled to even mention the rumor.
“The knights scoured the forest looking for a baby’s body. They said they had found you.”
“…”
“I at least thought you might be related.”
“Yet you still said that? That they were people to be grateful for?”
“Because I hoped you wouldn’t hate your parents, at least. So that you wouldn’t…”
“They’re the people who abandoned Arden.”
Rite looked as if he’d been hurt. Arden couldn’t understand why.
“You said the Emperor used Arden and then abandoned him here. How can you say I should be grateful to them?”
“What does that have to do with anything? And I wasn’t abandoned—I received an appropriate punishment. No, it wasn’t even appropriate. According to protocol, I should have been executed.”
“You should speak plainly. Arden took all the blame. Why is Arden the only one suffering among all those who were involved?”
“I’m not the only one suffering. The other engineers suffered too. We were all in the same situation.”
What are you talking about? Rite muttered irritably. At that voice, Arden faltered and stopped speaking.
“Among them, you’re the only one who was punished, aren’t you?”
“…”
“You were the one who released at least some of them. Yet in the end, only you were branded a traitor and driven out here. No one else stood up except you.”
Arden closed his mouth. He had no desire to discuss this topic at length. Besides, there was a more serious matter at hand. His past was just that—the past—and Rite was the future. A future that hadn’t happened yet. So it could still be corrected.
“Even so, that’s no reason for you to kill the Emperor.”
“True. I don’t necessarily want to kill the Emperor because I hate him for that.”
Rite’s voice returned to its calm state. Not the fabricated calmness of before. Rite had definitely matured since then.
“I need to become human.”
Rite murmured, looking down at his right arm. It was smooth human skin with nothing protruding from it, but it could change at any moment.
“Only Artalis can make me human.”
Rite thought of Artalis. From her hair to her skin, everything about her was mysterious and inhuman, but that was all.
The first impression of the goddess, previously seen only in myths, was less special than expected. Aside from her appearance, she was no different from humans. She seemed like just an ordinary person.
“I told you, even if you do that…”
“Being human doesn’t necessarily mean being moral, does it?”
At Rite’s words, Arden was left speechless. Though Rite hadn’t said it consciously, the words ultimately dug deep into Arden’s heart. Whatever Arden might say now would only serve to deny his own humanity.
“I’m not trying to become a righteous hero, Arden.”
I just want to be a person.
The reason Rite had accepted her offer wasn’t due to religious devotion or submissive compliance with destiny. She would do what he wanted, and he would do what she wanted. It was a deal.
* * *
Arden had hidden himself away. Rite stood with arms crossed, glaring crookedly at one spot. He didn’t like the firmly closed door to Arden’s room.
Rite couldn’t even go to Moran, let alone kill the Emperor by himself. He knew the location from when Arden had spread out a map and helped him with geography lessons as a child, but that was all.
If the definition of homeland was where one was born, then Rite’s homeland was Moran, but he didn’t know how to get there. The only places Rite knew were the forest and Winterishe. He didn’t even know how to leave this place. Arden’s help was essential.
Realizing this, Arden had finally refused to come out of his room, as if in protest. The problem was that Rite mentioned Moran every time he opened his mouth.
“That doesn’t mean we can’t even see each other’s faces.”
He muttered, a bit too loudly to be just talking to himself. He wanted Arden to hear. If Arden knew how much he had missed him during their time apart, he wouldn’t be able to act like this. How many monsters had he killed just to hear Arden’s voice? Yet now that he’d finally met the real Arden, he was hiding his voice and face and refusing to come out.
I didn’t think he would oppose it this strongly.
Rite distinctly remembered how Arden would turn pale even when he caught just a single moth. He hadn’t expected Arden to wholeheartedly support him, but he also hadn’t anticipated such fierce opposition. He had thought Arden would welcome him becoming human. After all, wasn’t it Arden who had struggled to raise a child who wasn’t human?
There was still something he needed to tell Arden. But at this rate, it seemed better to hide it.
‘You’re a being that fell from the Emperor’s body. When he dies, you’ll naturally disappear too.’
‘Think about it carefully. That person waiting for you is smart, isn’t he? Or you could beg for my mercy.’
If Arden knew this fact too, it was obvious he would become even more resolute, let alone be persuaded.
Before, no matter what words Rite used to provoke and shake him, Arden would face him the next day, hiding his expression as if nothing had happened. But now… Rite’s worries deepened.
If Arden hated it this much, did he really need to do it? He couldn’t help but think that. But if he did nothing, nothing would change.
He would continue to be nothing but a monster wearing human skin, and he could be exposed at any time. Then he would have to leave Arden’s side again. He didn’t know how long Artalis would give him a chance. She might create another monster and try with them instead.
Arden would continue to bear the label of a traitor and couldn’t leave the Winter Forest. He would continue to live crushed under that label.
They couldn’t live like that.
Rite’s thoughts reached a conclusion.
“Arden. You haven’t eaten breakfast either.”
Rite knocked on the door, but there was no answer. Just in case, he tried turning the doorknob again, but he only heard the clicking sound without the door opening.
I can’t break this down either. Horns began to slowly emerge from Rite’s head. The method for dragging out a monster hiding underground was simple and straightforward. Thrust your right arm into the burrow and pull it up in one go.
But that was just a beast’s way. He couldn’t use such a method on Arden, and he was planning to become human.
“Isn’t this going too far?”
He decided to appeal to Arden’s emotions.
“Do I always have to be the only one in such agony?”
There was no reply. Rite changed his plan.
“I’m getting angry.”
He decided to try threatening. He had experimented with this before. Still, there was no reply.
Was his method of threatening wrong? Rite fell into thought momentarily.
“Do you hate seeing me that much?”
He decided to mix the two approaches.
“Then… should I just leave again?”
The door flung open. The response was quick, as if Arden had been standing right by the door the whole time. Arden hurriedly spoke.
“I never said I hated seeing you.”
“You’ve been acting like it.”
“That’s because you…”
“Because I what?”
Arden closed his mouth. His ashen eyes, more melancholy than ever, glared at the floor.
Even like this, he’s beautiful. Rite calmly thought something that would cause a huge problem if Arden heard it. Though Arden’s lack of energy was concerning, the fact that his desolate expression was because of him didn’t make Rite feel too bad.
Rite suppressed his tingling feelings and created an expression appropriate for the situation. He drooped his eyebrows and put on a gloomy face.
“No, really, it’s not like that.”
Seeing that expression, Arden raised his hand in confusion, then withdrew it. Rite was disappointed that the hand didn’t reach him, but he decided not to push too hard.
“Then come out and have lunch.”
“…”
“I don’t want to eat alone. All this time, I’ve been alone in the forest…”
“Alright. I’ll eat.”
In the end, a smile that couldn’t be hidden appeared on Rite’s face. Despite hiding his affection so poorly and giving in with just a little prodding. It was inexplicable why he kept denying his feelings for him.
