# Chapter 56
People frequently visited the cabin. The absence of the only half-baked engineer seemed to have left quite a void. I didn’t want to take their requests. Even if I earned money, there was nowhere to spend it anymore. Though magical tools and machines needed maintenance, I hadn’t been outside since Pini had left.
Jack was among those who came by. One day, he even left a letter. I read it, but what it said didn’t stay in my head. Jack’s letter should be somewhere on my desk, but I had no intention of opening it again.
Knock knock.
It was Jack again today. I could now distinguish people by their knocking sounds. Pini’s were at regular intervals, Jack’s were two knocks with longer pauses than others, Markus’s were three quick knocks. Today was Jack. I sat in the rocking chair staring at the front door, not even bothering to check through the curtains.
When Jack knocked once, he never knocked again. However, the sound of retreating footsteps usually came much later. I planned to stay quiet until I heard that sound.
Just then, something white appeared through the crack in the front door. Perhaps because the gap was narrow due to the cold, whatever was poking through couldn’t squeeze in any further and stopped. Soon after, I heard Jack leaving.
It was probably a letter. I slowly got up and approached the door. As expected, the object protruding through the door crack was an envelope. When I opened the door to pick up the letter, a blast of cold air rushed in.
Today the sky was clearer than usual, and the sun was more visible. Having been staying indoors with the curtains drawn, it had been a while since I’d seen the sun. I squinted up at the sky briefly, then picked up the letter and closed the door.
I naturally assumed it would be a letter from Jack, but the sender was Pini. Though the recipient was listed as Markus, it was indeed a letter for me. Only then did I understand why Jack had come today. Mail to our house wasn’t delivered by the postman all the way here. I was supposed to go down to the village periodically to collect it, but since I hadn’t been going down, it seemed Jack had come to deliver it instead.
I returned to the rocking chair, opened the envelope, and took out its contents. Pini always used pretty stationery with pictures on it. Rite said that Pini’s sense of aesthetics wasn’t particularly good, but I didn’t think it was bad. The pale yellow stationery had small white flowers drawn on it.
Pini was a robot who adhered well to letter formats. Recipient, greetings, main content, closing remarks, sender. Compared to Plin’s and my letters that always kept things brief, the content was quite lengthy.
To my dear Arden,
Hello, Arden? This is Pini. Kamalon is still quite hot during the day. I wonder when the heat will end. It seems like with each passing year, the hot weather lasts longer. People complain about it every day, to the point where even I’m tired of hearing it. Of course, as a robot, I don’t feel the heat, so it doesn’t really matter to me. So you don’t need to worry.
Is it still raining there? Just in case, I’ll wrap this in plastic to keep it from getting wet.
What have you been up to these days, Arden? I asked the same thing in my last letter, but there was no reply. Please understand why I’m asking again. I hope I get a response this time.
I’m the same as always. I wake up in the morning, ventilate the house, take all the books off the shelf and dust them. Did you know that even books get bugs? I learned this from a book on Plin’s bookshelf, and I wonder if you’ve read it too. After organizing the bookshelves, I wipe the floor and clean the dust accumulated on the windowsills. Though no one uses the dishes or bedding, I wash the dishes once every two months and the bedding once every six months.
You must be much busier than me, right? With machines to maintain, work to do, and a home to take care of.
You know, Arden. Having lots to do seems like a good thing. At least that’s what I think. Maybe it’s because I’m a robot, not a human who gets tired.
But sometimes it frightens me to think that there might come a time when I have nothing to do and am not needed anywhere.
What scares you the most, Arden?
Well, I’ll wait for your reply. Take care not to catch a cold, and stay healthy until we meet again.
With sincerity, Pini.
P.S.
Arden. You’re waiting for someone to return. Always remember that.
* * *
I’m not sure what I felt from Pini’s letter. Since then, I’ve been attempting productive activities. To put my current state in perspective, I’ve come to understand my situation.
To wait for Rite, I needed to maintain this house, and to do that, I needed to live my daily life. The first thing I did was write a reply to the letter. I wrote a simple note saying that I was doing well and living much the same as usual, then put it in an envelope. It was a lie, of course, but by the time I went to mail the letter, it would no longer be a lie, so that was fine.
The house was a mess. Though I’d been in the house continuously, it felt like I was looking around for the first time in a while. I placed the letter on the table and tackled one postponed task after another. I oiled the hinges, cleaned the windows and frames, and began working on the neglected machines.
While organizing the kitchen, I found a jar of jam that was more than half full. It was one of the items Pini always brought for Rite. If Rite didn’t eat it, no one would. I hoped Rite would return before the jam spoiled. Waiting until the jam completely spoiled was…
The jam seemed too good to waste.
It seemed like I would have a hard time.
With every movement, the black rose hanging around my neck swayed slightly. I clutched the necklace tightly and stared at the jam. There were too many traces of Rite both in the house and in me. It was only after realizing this that I found the courage to open the door.
When I opened Rite’s door, I felt a sense of incongruity amidst the familiar scenery. The mobile that used to hang near the bed. This time too, Rite had taken only the mobile on his journey, which was difficult to classify as either running away or becoming independent.
After staring at the empty wall for a long time, I forced myself to move. I wiped each of the figurines placed on top of the cabinet with a dry cloth. There were quite a few, from those I had made for him to those Rite had made himself. The carving of what might be a goblin or a bear had quite a bit of paint chipped off, but Rite had stubbornly insisted that he would never throw it away. Now, I too had no desire to get rid of it.
Even while cleaning Rite’s room, I tried to maintain everything exactly as it was. Except for the missing mobile, everything was just as it always had been.
I could somewhat understand Pini’s feelings, cleaning and maintaining the house even while knowing that Plin and I wouldn’t return.
“To understand a robot’s heart.”
That was something I could never say out loud elsewhere.
‘You know, Arden. Having lots to do seems like a good thing.’
‘But sometimes it frightens me to think that there might come a time when I have nothing to do and am not needed anywhere.’
* * *
After a full day of busy activity, the next day I went down to the village to mail the letter. I had the strange feeling that people were conscious of my presence. I went to the post office and routinely sent the letter under Markus’s name. Since all letters sent under my name were subject to scrutiny, I borrowed Markus’s name when sending letters requesting work materials or containing content about Rite.
This had been an agreed arrangement since I started working as an engineer in the village. Rite said that the villagers were ungrateful and made it sound as if I was being exploited by the village, but I didn’t see it that way. Everything was by agreement. Thanks to this, I could earn money and gain small benefits like sending letters. In the end, I too was receiving conveniences from the village.
Just as I came out of the post office, I saw someone running from far away. Their face wasn’t clear, so I narrowed my eyes and looked for a while. Only after they came closer did I realize it was Markus. It seemed my earlier feeling of being watched wasn’t just my imagination. Markus ran all the way to me as if afraid I might disappear.
“…What’s the matter?”
For someone who had run so fiercely, he was quiet. Markus just moved his lips while catching his breath.
“I’m busy. If you have nothing to say…”
“Wait, Arden. I have something to tell you.”
Markus, looking awkward, rubbed the back of his head and slightly furrowed his brow.
“We’re all sorry. Everyone.”
“…”
“Well, most people…”
Markus added hastily under my gaze. It seemed they indeed needed an engineer.
“I know it was rude. I know you must have been offended.”
I needed money too. Since I didn’t know when Rite would return, I had to continue using magical tools, and in this unstable situation, it was better to stock up on firewood and food. Given the circumstances, I didn’t expect to get a proper price, but it was good to earn even a little.
“Cal’s been like that since he was young.”
When I didn’t respond, Markus hastily continued. My ears perked up at the mention of Cal.
“Saying Rite was a monster and whatnot. I know it’s nonsense, of course, but the kid kept saying such strange things so persistently that I thought maybe…”
“…Rite now.”
“I know. Right. I know you’re not living together now. But Gaebe and Cal both keep saying they’ve seen him…”
Back then, Cal had clearly said he saw Rite. Was it that day with Jack, the day Rite stood up for me? But Cal showed no special reaction that day. He didn’t look like someone who had seen a person who shouldn’t be seen, nor did he look like someone who had met an old acquaintance after a long time. His expression only showed his characteristic irritable sharpness. Cal always had that expression.
“Still a child, I tell you. At his age, I was already an adult. I wonder when he’ll ever grow up.”
It was a complaint filled with the characteristic affection of a guardian. I naturally thought of Rite. I had that too. Except for the moment of his birth, I had watched over him every moment. The moment the child opened his eyes. The first time he called my name. The first time he took a step. Everything was still vivid, but the child had already grown up so much and gone far away.
Compared to Cal, who still had the face of a young boy, Rite’s face was more mature. He had grown taller than Cal now and was even slightly taller than me. Nevertheless, he still had traces of boyhood. For example, things like his horns and the skin on his right arm. I thought he had learned to control them well, but recently they would pop out unexpectedly several times. Even in that moment when he bit his own finger and desired me.
Even that day, which had been only painful, now filled me with regret when I thought back on it. I shouldn’t have spoken like that. I shouldn’t have blamed him like that. I shouldn’t have left Rite alone at home. I should have expressed more.
“…Arden?”
I looked up at Markus’s seemingly bewildered call. Only then did I realize that I had been contorting my face until my muscles hurt.
Looking at the eyes staring at me, I shook my head.
“Let me know if there’s anything you need me for.”
“…Yes. Thank you.”
At my words, Markus looked surprised for a moment, then nodded.
