# Chapter 54
After Gaebe disappeared, Rite was incomparably more anxious than before. His hands trembled as if trying to hide it by clenching his fists, and his arms twitched intermittently like he was having seizures. Unable to sit still, he paced back and forth from one end of the living room to the kitchen. I watched him for a while from the sofa before speaking.
“Rite.”
At my voice, Rite stopped in his tracks. He turned around from the kitchen entrance to look at me. When I beckoned with my hand, Rite slowly approached me.
“It’s okay. It’s night. And it’s raining.”
“…”
“No one will come.”
Had rain ever been this welcome before? The raindrops that had been falling on and off were now pouring down harder than ever. Plus, it was late at night. I didn’t know whether Gaebe had woken everyone up to tell them or not, but no one would come here at this hour in this weather. Besides, I didn’t think Markus would believe the nonsensical claims of someone who had gone into the forest while drunk. So, for now, we were still okay.
All major village decisions were made by Markus. So I only needed to anticipate Markus’s actions and move accordingly. Markus was a practical person who knew how to maintain at least minimal courtesy. He wouldn’t come to the forest through the rain in the middle of the night to meet me. The chances that no one would come tonight were high.
“What about after the night passes?”
Rite asked about what would happen next. This was something I couldn’t answer either. After daybreak tomorrow, especially after lunch, things would be different.
Could I hide Rite? Could I keep him here knowing full well that people would come looking? Even if I hid him, would he stay hidden? They might search the house. The knights had left after just removing their hats, but these villagers wouldn’t be reassured even if Rite didn’t have horns on his head.
Purple eyes. That alone would make them recognize Rite immediately, but there was a big difference between how he looked three years ago and now. Currently, Rite looked at least seventeen years old, even being generous. A traitor living alone in the forest, with a suspicious young man staying with him. The sensitized villagers wouldn’t accept us.
“…When daylight comes.”
There was only one option. There was only one place where I could entrust Rite with confidence.
“Go to where Pini is.”
“What about Arden?”
“I can’t go.”
It wasn’t different from suggesting we find the Summer Forest. I couldn’t go. The only movement permitted to me was around this vicinity.
“You’ll have to go to the train station alone. Avoiding people’s eyes…”
As I spoke, I realized there were too many risk factors. This was a child who had been reluctant to go outside since he was 11 until recently. He had gone down to the village without my knowledge recently, but that was a completely different situation.
I had never taken Rite near the train station. As an exile, lingering around the station could cause too many misunderstandings. The train station was located at the point furthest from the forest within Winterishe. Could Rite conceal himself and travel there alone? Was it possible that no one would be suspicious of a stranger wearing a hat pulled down low who had come from the forest?
Even if he safely reached the train station and boarded a train, there were many problems. There were two ways to get to Kamalon where Pini was:
The steam airship, which would arrive quickly, or the train, which would take longer.
The steam airship had frequent inspections. Rite’s face wasn’t known, so he wouldn’t be caught in inspections, but I still wasn’t comfortable sending him alone.
The train had relatively less stringent inspections, but to reach Kamalon by train, one had to pass through the capital, Moran. Knowing Rite’s fate, I couldn’t let that happen.
“You can’t go alone.”
I couldn’t gamble with Rite, not with myself or anyone else.
“I’ll call Pini. I wish I could send a letter tomorrow right away… but I think we’ll have to see how things go. It’s better not to do anything suspicious.”
Even though I was rambling, Rite showed no reaction. Was he even understanding? Hadn’t he always said that my words were difficult to understand even when he was young?
“Rite.”
“Yeah.”
Rite, who had been staring into space, looked at me. I wondered what he was thinking, but it seemed better not to ask. He must be as confused as I was.
“You heard what I said, right?”
“Yeah.”
The answer came readily, but it wasn’t particularly reassuring.
“Rite. Just in case I’m saying this.”
This situation wasn’t exactly comfortable for speaking like this.
“This is something I chose. So I’ll resolve it.”
“…”
“You don’t have to worry.”
Even as I said this, I didn’t have any particularly effective solution.
This time, there was no response from Rite. I became anxious that he might be blaming himself. After tonight passes, things would become more difficult, so I hoped at least tonight could be spent comfortably.
“Hey, Rite.”
So I decided to share something from my heart that I usually wouldn’t. I wanted Rite to know. I had just told him to trust me, but today I wanted to tell him properly. Why I couldn’t abandon you. Why I couldn’t give up on you.
“It was my first time. Having someone stand up for me like that.”
It was awkward because it was unfamiliar. Opening up to someone was difficult and risky.
“It was my first time having someone take my side like that. It felt… really good.”
“…”
“So I want you to know that joy too, Rite.”
I was cautious, finding it hard to show my weaknesses if we weren’t close, and worried about being a burden if we were close.
“I’m on your side too.”
I wanted to show Rite as much affection as he had shown me.
No matter what happens. No matter what Rite does, I’m on your side.
“Just like how you take my side without any reason. Remember that I’m on your side too.”
At those words, Rite smiled. It wasn’t a smile of joy, nor was it a sneer mocking me. It was a smile that I couldn’t tell whether it was sad or happy.
* * *
The worrying continued throughout the night. I was concerned about where to hide Rite tomorrow. Hiding him inside the house was too dangerous, but except for the house, the only place Rite could go was the forest. Hiding a child in the forest was full of contradictions. The forest wasn’t safe.
Maybe I should confide in Jack and hide Rite at his house.
I didn’t fully trust Jack, but he was the only person in this village from whom I could expect help. I had to choose between the forest and people.
I sat quietly at my desk, unable to sleep. I didn’t move with my arms crossed, but my mind was busy calculating various possibilities.
Then, with a light knock, the door opened.
“Still not sleeping?”
“Ah… yeah.”
I quickly relaxed my expression and smiled, afraid that Rite would worry. Rite stared at me, then looked at the empty desk. I felt relieved that I had only been worrying in my head.
“If you can’t sleep, shall I make you some milk?”
“I’m fine.”
“No, I’ll make it quick. I want some too.”
Rite closed the door without listening to my answer. Not long after, Rite brought warm milk with orange jam stirred in and handed it to me. As I held the cup in my hand and looked into it quietly, Rite urged me.
“Drink quickly and go to sleep.”
“Okay. You go to sleep quickly too.”
Rite stared at me while holding the cup. It seemed he wouldn’t go back to his room until I took at least a sip. Finally, as I swallowed a mouthful of milk, I could taste the smooth, rich milk and the sweet-sour orange flavor that blended together nicely.
Feeling the lingering taste in my mouth, I carefully brought up something I had been considering for a while.
“…Do you want to sleep together tonight?”
What if he had bad dreams? What if he was trembling with anxiety alone in his room? Then tonight at least, shouldn’t we fall asleep together?
But Rite gave an unexpected answer.
“No.”
Rite just made sure I was drinking the milk, then left my room. After Rite returned to his room, sleep came over me, perhaps thanks to the milk, when I thought it would never come. When I came to my senses, I was slumped over my desk.
Outside the window, it was still dark. The sun in this place had a leisurely character, rising late and setting early. Checking the clock, it was around the boundary between dawn and morning.
My body was stiff from falling asleep in an uncomfortable position. As I got up, a blanket fell to the floor with a thud. It seemed Rite had come in again during that time.
I picked up the blanket, folded it neatly, and placed it on the chair. When I opened the door and came out, the house felt somehow colder than usual.
The stove I checked had a fire lit. Rite wasn’t visible in the living room, but it seemed he had gotten up first and lit the fire. Had he slept at all? With that worry in mind, I went into the bathroom.
When I came out after washing, Rite still wasn’t visible. I thought he would be in the kitchen, but it was quiet without a trace of warmth. Not in his room, not in the storage. I even checked the treehouse that I had never looked into, but Rite was nowhere to be seen. Only then did I realize I was gasping for breath.
I couldn’t believe it, so I closed and opened my eyes several times. When I opened my eyes, Rite was gone. This was my second loss. Everything before my eyes grew distant.
