# Chapter 48
Neither of us spoke until the next morning. We even skipped our usual morning greeting. I thought it was because we were both too exhausted. Both my eyes in the mirror and Rite’s eyelids were swollen.
A sharp gaze followed me from behind. I pretended not to notice as I put on my thick coat and searched for my scarf. After wrapping it once around my neck, a displeased voice finally erupted.
“Where are you going?”
It was the first time I’d heard his voice since yesterday afternoon. I briefly debated between being honest and phrasing it carefully to avoid provoking Rite, then chose the former.
“Jack.”
“…”
“I can’t just accept those things for nothing. I need to pay for them.”
I planned to return part of the items and pay for the rest. I’d return the food but pay for the firewood since we needed it. While I was at it, I thought I’d also talk with Jack. After behaving so suspiciously yesterday, I needed to go down to the village and smooth things over.
Whether he accepted my answer or not, he stayed quiet for a while before his voice came from behind me again.
“Do you have to go today?”
“I should go as soon as possible. The rain has stopped, too.”
The light rain that had been falling when we woke up had stopped after we finished breakfast. Looking at the clouds, it seemed like it would rain again soon, so now was the perfect time to go out.
“Arden, did you look in the mirror?”
“I did when I washed my face.”
“Haa.”
With a sigh, a large hand suddenly reached out and touched my forehead. I stopped wrapping my scarf and turned my head back, following the arm that blocked my view. My eyes met Rite’s, who was standing behind me. He was biting his lower lip firmly with his eyebrows raised. It was the expression of an adult scolding a child.
“I knew it.”
“…What?”
“You have a fever.”
I didn’t understand Rite’s words immediately and just blinked. I have a fever now? Once I heard it, I did feel like my head was working slowly. While I stood there dazed, the hand that had been on my forehead now touched the nape of my neck. Rite’s hands, usually so warm, felt cool today, making me shrink my neck.
“Go another time. How can you go in this condition? First, take some medicine…”
“I’m fine. I’ll be back quickly.”
I grabbed Rite’s wrist to remove his hand and finished wrapping my scarf. I had already wrapped the items I was returning in waterproof plastic and tied them with string, just as Jack had brought them. As I picked up the makeshift handle of string and tried to leave, a hand blocked my way.
“Take this first.”
There was a white pill in his palm. He must have gone to my room in the meantime. I hadn’t even heard his footsteps—when did he go there? After I blinked twice, Rite, unable to wait any longer, pushed the pill toward my lips. I opened my mouth reflexively, and the medicine immediately went in. Then he even brought a glass of water right up to my lips, helping me swallow the pill in an instant.
“Now go lie down for a while, and think about it again when you wake up.”
“…No. I’m going now. I’ve taken the medicine, so I’ll be fine.”
The fingers wrapping around my wrist felt cool. It was strange to feel Rite’s body temperature as low. I really did seem to have a fever, but my mind was unchanged. After pulling my hand away, I passed Rite and opened the door.
“I’ll be back soon.”
Afraid he might grab me again, I closed the door before even finishing my sentence.
* * *
“So…”
Jack scratched above his eyebrow with his fingernail as he looked at the bundle I’d placed on the counter. He examined the plastic-wrapped items, smiled awkwardly, and sighed.
“You came to return this.”
“Yes. And to pay for the firewood…”
“And to pay for the firewood.”
Jack finished my slow sentence. I nodded as I looked at him. His goodwill was already enough with the food that remained at home. Accepting anything more would be too much for mere kindness.
“You could have just kept it.”
“No.”
I couldn’t accept it because I knew why Jack was showing such goodwill. Relationships based on sexual or romantic feelings made me uncomfortable. Though to be fair, there was an error in defining my relationship with Jack that way. The romance in this relationship was one-sided, making it difficult to define.
If I handled this wrong…
‘You know that doing that to Jack would be wrong, right?’
One small mistake and I might end up hurting Jack. Recalling Rite’s words, I firmly handed over the money. Jack took it with a displeased expression. The weather had warmed up enough that I wasn’t wearing gloves, and our bare hands brushed as I handed him the money. Surprised by his body temperature, which was much colder than Rite’s, I quickly curled my fingers, but Jack grabbed my hand.
“Arden, why is your hand so…”
Before Jack could finish, I pulled my hand back. An awkward silence filled the store for a moment. Neither Jack nor I spoke as we stood frozen. I knew that my action had been extremely rude and embarrassing to him, but it wasn’t intentional. Even in my drug-induced haze, I felt such aversion to familiar contact that I pulled away.
When Rite’s hand touched me at home, I didn’t feel this kind of aversion.
Thinking about it, Rite was special. I never liked physical contact with others.
Since childhood, I had carried Rite, let him sleep on top of me, and put my fingers in his mouth, so it wasn’t strange.
“Ah… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
“…”
“I thought something seemed off. Do you have a fever?”
“I think… so.”
I should have apologized too, but I missed the timing because I was answering his question. Should I apologize now? As I was debating this, Jack spoke first.
“It must have been hard coming down here. Are you going straight home?”
Jack immediately showed his usual gentle smile. Thanks to that, the frozen atmosphere instantly returned to normal.
I nodded. Originally, I had planned to do some shopping so we wouldn’t have to come down for a while, but I wasn’t feeling well. It seemed best to head home for today.
“I should.”
“Let me go with you. I’ll take you home.”
“No, that’s not necessary.”
“The path is slippery.”
Jack, who had already come out from behind the counter, frowned slightly. I shook my head firmly. Having two people wouldn’t make the slippery path any less slippery.
“It’s not like I haven’t walked that path many times before, and you have to watch the store.”
“I’m worried… the atmosphere in the village isn’t good…”
“…”
“Then let me at least take you to the forest entrance. That’s okay, right?”
It was an attempt at negotiation. I would have preferred to return alone, but I nodded anyway. I needed to explain what happened yesterday anyway.
The medicine seemed to be working, giving me a little more energy. Taking the opportunity to look around, I noticed the village atmosphere was indeed unsettling. When I had been heading straight to Jack’s store, I hadn’t noticed, but there were no smiles on the faces of the people on the street. Jack’s comment about the village atmosphere now became apparent.
“About yesterday.”
While observing the people, I spoke up to address my original purpose. I could feel Jack’s gaze fixed on my profile even without looking. I continued speaking as I watched a child pass by us. Unlike the adults, the child’s face showed no concern. I heard a clear laugh.
“I’m sorry for sending you back down after you made such an effort to come up.”
“Ah…”
After watching the child disappear between the alleys, I turned my head to the opposite direction to look at Jack. He had already turned his gaze away from me and was staring blankly somewhere, lost in thought.
“I had some personal matters then…”
“I’m the one who came when you had company.”
I slightly averted my gaze from the green eyes that were staring at me again. It felt like he was testing me. He must have heard Rite’s voice then.
“Well, yes…”
“Was that him?”
Not knowing exactly who he was asking about, I tilted my head slightly. Jack pointed toward my chest area with his eyes.
“The friend who sent the birthday gift?”
“Ah…”
The necklace, which I had grown accustomed to, became noticeable with Jack’s single comment. The necklace was so light I barely registered it, but for a moment, I had the illusion of feeling its weight. I raised my hand to touch the small rose carving. The smooth wooden texture felt in my hand gave me a strange sense of security.
“Yes. The same person.”
It was true, and even if I claimed to have several friends, it would only raise suspicion.
“Is he… the parent of the child you were taking care of?”
Unlike the previous question which I easily answered affirmatively, this made me hesitate. For some reason, I was reluctant to refer to Rite’s parent as Rite. Even though nothing would change if I said yes, and the “Rite’s parent” Jack was referring to was not a real person but a fictional character…
“…No.”
I don’t know who Rite’s real parents are, but I didn’t want to put such people in the same category as Rite. It was a pointless and meaningless act. Even I couldn’t understand my current behavior.
“It’s not my place to say, but…”
“…”
“It really sounded like you were fighting…”
While listening to Jack, I surveyed the village again. Since I didn’t know when I’d come down next, it was good to observe the situation when possible. As I looked around, I made eye contact with a man standing some distance away. I recognized most of the villagers’ faces, but this man had left a particularly strong impression.
My heart raced with an ominous feeling. Even from a distance, I could see the man’s face contort. Gaebe. The man Rite had been violent with three years ago.
Gaebe had a bottle of alcohol in one hand. As soon as our eyes met, he pointed at me with his finger.
“It’s because of that bastard!”
