# Chapter 37
“You’re wearing a necklace you didn’t have before?”
I ran into Jack while briefly visiting the village for groceries. He pointed at the black rose hanging around my neck. Is it that strange? I felt a bit self-conscious and fiddled with the rose pendant.
“Does it look weird?”
“Not at all. It suits you well.”
Jack immediately shook his head as he answered. Even hearing that, I didn’t feel completely at ease. I wasn’t sure if his words were sincere. It would probably be difficult for someone to say it doesn’t suit me to my face anyway.
“A friend sent it to me. As a birthday present. They said they made it themselves, so I thought I should wear it out of appreciation for the effort.”
Everything was true except the part about a friend sending it. Jack’s eyes widened at my words. He covered his mouth with one hand while looking at me, appearing quite surprised.
“Birthday?”
“Yes.”
Is that strange? Perhaps it was a bit odd that a traitor would have friends who send gifts. I belatedly observed his reaction, but Jack’s point of surprise was different from what I had assumed.
“When?”
“What?”
“Your birthday. When was it?”
“Yesterday.”
Jack stroked his chin as he looked at me. Not knowing what the issue was, I called his name again, and he finally spoke.
“I’d like to give you a present too, even if it’s late.”
“Ah, no, it’s fine. I’m not at an age where birthdays hold much meaning anymore.”
“What are you saying? Even my father gets excited every time his birthday comes around.”
Is that so? Plin wasn’t like that. He would consistently give me gifts and buy me cake on my birthdays, but his own birthdays would pass without any special event. When I asked him why—
‘Birthdays are only celebrated when you’re young.’
That was his answer. I did write him short letters every year, but nothing special was done for Plin’s birthday. Now, because of Rite, I was celebrating my birthday more properly than when I was younger, but I thought that was embarrassing.
“Is there anything you need or want… no, never mind. It’s a gift, so I should think of something myself rather than asking.”
“It’s really fine… Besides, it’s already passed.”
“But it was just yesterday…”
Jack’s voice trailed off. Looking at me with a regretful expression, he suddenly grabbed my wrist.
“Let’s look around together.”
* * *
I was led around the busy streets by Jack’s hand. This gave me the opportunity to enter shops I had never visited before. At the accessory shop, I had a hard time signaling that I wanted to leave without even glancing at the merchandise. One necklace was embarrassing enough—I couldn’t add more.
For a small wallpaper village shop, the selection wasn’t very wide. Most items were handmade, and there were no precise, uniform items that had passed through the hands of engineers or machinists. Though my time in Moran was over ten years ago, the shopping district here was much more modest than Moran’s was even back then.
Artalis was a country with huge regional disparities. Though it had achieved remarkable development with engineering, that wasn’t “our” business. The outer regions, pushed beyond notice, had never earned the Emperor’s attention. Not in this generation, nor in previous ones.
As a result, Winterishe had become increasingly isolated, and the villagers received no guarantee of education or security. The isolated village had survived until now solely by the strength of its residents.
“How about this?”
After wandering around, we entered a small general store. A partition wall in the center divided the interior—one side was the general store, the other a blacksmith’s workshop. Perhaps because of this, the clanging sounds continuously came through the partition, but the store owner, like someone accustomed to such noise, was staring outside the window with a bored expression. This shop had probably been one unified space without a partition wall during Winterishe’s prosperous period.
“What is that?”
The item Jack picked up was a transparent glass bottle containing a yellow liquid.
A spice? Unable to guess what it was, I narrowed my eyes to examine the bottle. It was a small bottle, about half the size of a palm, with a ribbon of murky sky-blue tied around its opening.
“It’s perfume. I think the scent suits Arden too… Just a moment.”
Jack brought the bottle opening to his nose, sniffed it, and then sprayed it near my neck. I reflexively jerked back in surprise, but the cold liquid settled on skin not completely covered by my clothes. The scent of alcohol sharply stung my nose.
“No, I don’t wear perfume.”
I glanced at the general store owner who seemed completely uninterested in us. I was worried they might tell us to buy it since Jack had sprayed it once. There was no such thing as a tester perfume here, and I couldn’t even find another bottle of the same kind. It seemed the owner bought items in small quantities from other villages to sell here.
“This is your chance to start wearing some.”
“Why would I need perfume…”
“It suits you well.”
The sharp scent that had stung my nose had already changed. It was a soft yet sweet, warm scent reminiscent of vanilla.
This suits me? I couldn’t agree with that at all. If there were scents that suited me, they would only be the smell of machine oil or rusty metal. Wearing this kind of perfume would be pointless—after handling machines a few times, it would mix with the oil smell and be worse than not wearing any.
Come to think of it, didn’t Jack have a strong perfume smell last time? Since I hadn’t smelled such a strong scent from him since then, perhaps it really was his father’s perfume. When I stared at Jack, he smiled awkwardly.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
Since I wasn’t particularly curious about the truth, I shook my head. Suddenly, looking through the store window, I noticed the sun was already beginning to set. Only then did I think of Rite waiting at home. I had only come out to quickly shop for groceries, but I hadn’t bought anything even though it was almost dinner time. I didn’t have time for this.
“Let’s go with this one.”
I didn’t have time to choose further. Thinking of Rite waiting at home for me, who was later than usual, I grew anxious. I grabbed Jack’s wrist and pulled him to the counter. Seeing Jack suddenly dragged there to pay made me uncomfortable—it looked like I was forcing him to give me a present. If this happened, I would have to give Jack a gift on his birthday too.
“When is your birthday?”
“…Pardon?”
Jack’s hand flinched as he was receiving the change. A few coins fell and rolled noisily on the floor. Was it that surprising? Leaving Jack standing there stunned, I bent down to pick up the fallen coins. Jack belated bent down too, but I had already picked up all the coins.
“Here.”
“Ah, thank you.”
“No, it was my fault for startling you.”
Jack, who had taken the coins, cupped the back of his neck with his palm. He stared at the small perfume bottle placed on the counter and moved his lips several times. As I was staring at him, I suddenly realized that Jack’s hands were quite large and rough. It must be because of his job.
“Mine has already passed. It’s in spring.”
“Ah.”
“Next year…”
Jack hesitated without finishing his sentence. Jack, who had been persistently staring at the perfume bottle, turned his head to meet my eyes. In the time when the sun was setting, under the hazy orange light, his clear green eyes appeared darker than usual.
“Wish me happy birthday next year.”
Was it also because of the lighting that Jack’s face looked redder than usual?
* * *
I hurried my steps to the cabin, almost running. I gave up on grocery shopping and got takeout food from a nearby restaurant. The paper bag I held in my arms was warm.
How did I not notice the sun was setting? I clicked my tongue at myself and put strength in my legs as I made my way through the snowy path.
“Rite. You must have waited long.”
I blurted out the words as soon as I turned the doorknob. Without even taking off my coat, I passed through the entryway and met Rite’s eyes as he sat in the rocking chair in front of the stove. He was leaning his body completely against the chair’s backrest with his head tilted back. His usually straight eyebrows were furrowed on his upside-down face. Seeing me, Rite slowly straightened his back and then stood up.
For a moment, Rite seemed eerie, and I stepped half a step back. He used to be small enough that I could hide him in my arms when away from people. Now it was sometimes hard to believe he was taller than me.
“…What’s that smell?”
His voice, lower than usual, was threatening. Again. The atmosphere was the same as when we had shouted at each other that time. Why? How? Just when I thought things had been calm for a few days, why again? As I was racking my brain about what might have provoked him, Rite’s voice urged me.
“I asked, what’s that smell?”
With that voice, I became conscious of the weight in my coat pocket. The small perfume bottle. The warm, sweet scent that Jack had sprayed in the store.
I had to make a choice. Whether to maintain peace with another plausible lie, or tell the truth and let Rite see reality.
I pressed my brow with fatigue. Raising a child wasn’t about choosing the easy path for myself. I had to choose the right path. And when I wasn’t sure what the right path was, usually when I chose the difficult path for myself, it tended to be close to correct.
“Perfume.”
“What perfume?”
“Perfume I received as a gift.”
“From who.”
It felt like I was facing a wild beast. I recalled the pitch-black, irrational state of Rite from when he was young. Between that pitch-black Rite from back then and the current Rite, I tried to gauge which one would be more difficult to handle.
“…Jack.”
At those words, Rite blinked. His vertically elongated pupils were revealed, and something like pitch-black horns seemed to writhe and grow from his head. It happened in an instant. Rite was excited. Not a good sign.
