# Chapter 23
Rite cried continuously, whether when I was giving him a hot bath or applying ointment to his forehead. He trembled several times at his own actions. Though not completely, it seemed he had some memory of his transformed state. My mind was complex, but there was no time to sort through my thoughts. I believed that comforting the frightened child was the priority, but it was also difficult to soothe Rite by telling him everything was okay.
I suggested that he sleep with me in my bed, but this time Rite refused. He appeared to be quite shocked by the fact that he had attacked me. However, I felt too anxious to let the child sleep alone, so we compromised that I would stay by his side until he fell asleep.
“Rite, shall I tell you a secret?”
“…What is it?”
The child, with the blanket pulled up to his nose, rolled his eyes to look at me. It seemed he couldn’t feel secure without covering himself that way. It was just a blanket, but he treated it as if it could bind and isolate him.
“Actually, I don’t have parents either. I was also raised by someone who took me in, just like you.”
At my words, Rite made a peculiar expression. He bit his lower lip firmly and lowered his eyes. After chewing on his lip for a while, Rite looked at me again and asked.
“Pini?”
“No. The person who made Pini.”
“Who is that?”
I contemplated Rite’s question briefly. How should I introduce Plin? Grandfather? But Plin wasn’t my father, and I wasn’t Rite’s father either.
“…A teacher I respect.”
“So he’s Pini’s dad?”
“Not exactly… Pini is a robot. That person is human.”
“Then where is that person now?”
“He’s dead.”
Why? Rite blinked and asked. His expression looked so innocent that I couldn’t help but smile.
“He was unwell. He had suffered a great deal. Usually, living things die when their lifespan ends.”
Except for Pini. I added, anticipating Rite’s question.
“It’s hard to say that Pini is alive. Probably, with proper maintenance, Pini could live semi-permanently.”
“What about Arden?”
“I’ll eventually die too, of course.”
“I don’t like that.”
Rite twitched his eyebrows and said firmly. As if I could live forever just because he didn’t permit me to die. Finding his reaction cute, I stroked his smooth forehead.
“It’s still far in the future, so you don’t need to worry.”
Besides, I don’t know about Rite’s growth rate yet, I thought to myself. Assuming both of us die naturally, it was uncertain whether I would reach the end of my lifespan first or if Rite would go before me. My head ached as if I was being crushed by an enormous truth that I couldn’t uncover even if I researched my entire life.
“Then can Arden live forever too if we put in a mechanical heart like Pini’s?”
At Rite’s words, my complicated mind suddenly went blank.
— Please save me. I need to go back. There’s someone waiting for me…
My hand on my thigh involuntarily twitched at the voice I hadn’t heard in a long time.
“Arden?”
My sense of reality returned at the sound of Rite calling me. Newly aware that I was a person who breathed and had a heartbeat, I swallowed hard.
“Why do you look like that?”
“In a human body… you can’t put such things.”
“Then? Then how do you avoid dying?”
“There’s no such method.”
Even to my own ears, my voice sounded stiff and rigid. After seeing the concern reflected on Rite’s face, I deliberately softened my expression.
“Death is natural. It’s sad and scary, but you don’t need to be afraid of it yet.”
“But still…”
“It’s okay. I’ll be by your side for a long time to come.”
The anxiety lingering on Rite’s expression gradually faded. But since it hadn’t completely disappeared, I brought up another topic. I needed to divert Rite’s attention.
“…And, try to avoid clashing with people you don’t get along with. For example… Cal?”
I was saying this, but I wasn’t confident that Rite could mingle with people. Letting him socialize with people again didn’t seem good for either Rite or others.
“How?”
“Play with other kids instead of Cal. You don’t need to be friends with everyone.”
“Then I can’t play with anyone. Cal doesn’t like that I’m close with Ea.”
“…Really?”
The children’s society that I didn’t know about was fascinating. Though they looked small and innocent, they were as deep and complex as adults.
“Besides, Willy said we should all get along well.”
Willy was the name of the protagonist in a fairy tale that Rite had read. In my opinion, all of them had mediocre content, but Rite loved reading so much that he would read a book repeatedly once I bought it.
“That’s why I didn’t care for that book.”
“Huh?”
“Anyway. I just think there’s no need to adjust to everyone and get along. It’s also impossible.”
Rite looked like he didn’t understand well. How should I say this? It was difficult to convince someone else of my values.
“Just, that’s what I think. You do as you please, Rite.”
“I want to get along well with everyone.”
“You also have… an idealistic side.”
I quickly changed the topic, sensing that Rite might ask what I meant.
“Shall I read you a book after a long time?”
“Yes.”
I immediately picked out the most noticeable book from the bookshelf. The story of Duz and Eden. A legend loved by all citizens of Artalis. Unlike the stories in common fairy tales, I liked it too.
“Once upon a time, the plainest prince was born in the castle of the Artalis Kingdom.”
* * *
After putting Rite to bed and returning to my room to lie down, my heart suddenly raced. Once I organized the situation and was alone, my mind wouldn’t settle, as if I was belatedly shocked. From the scene of Rite having a seizure to the pain when he pushed me away, and the eerie eyes that looked at me—everything kept coming back. Habitually, I lifted my hand to fiddle with the ear cuff that encased my earlobe.
Who would have thought there was something more important than practicing hiding horns and scales? Now that this had happened once, there was no guarantee it wouldn’t happen a second or third time. It ended at this level because he was still young, but it was obvious that after his body grew more, it would be unmanageable. Moreover, Rite was a special case with a growth rate more than twice that of humans. It was difficult to predict how much his body would grow in just one or two years.
“Ah.”
Perhaps because I was too focused, I pressed the ear cuff too hard, and my ear stung. That small pain snapped me back to reality. I raised my body from lying down, leaned against the bed headboard, and turned on the Aether lamp. A soft light brightened the area around the bed. I picked up the notebook and pen placed on the bedside table, opened it to an empty page, and began taking notes.
The origin of this incident, the conflict with Cal. He said Cal called him strange. Purple eyes, and the fact that he had no parents were cited as evidence. And…
‘Looking at the fact that someone like Arden is taking care of me, it’s obvious. My parents and I are birds of a feather. His dad said… that bastard Cal…’
Rite’s words echoed clearly in my mind, as if they were engraved in my ears.
In a secluded village with little entertainment, interest in neighbors naturally increased. Whether small or large rumors were true or not didn’t matter. It was just amusement to alleviate their boredom.
Cal probably heard stories from adults. Whatever they were. The conjectures that came to mind weren’t just one, but that wasn’t really relevant.
The appearance Rite showed before having a seizure was probably anger, resentment. He showed symptoms of difficulty breathing, and his arms swelled up. His horns also gradually grew larger, and his heart beat rapidly. Since horns and scales would protrude when he was happy or excited, this phenomenon would also be influenced by emotions. To a certain extent, horns would emerge, scales would form, and it would end, but if it goes beyond that, complete…
“Monsterization…”
I was startled by my own voice that escaped unconsciously and opened my eyes wide. I didn’t want to call Rite a monster with my own mouth, but I had no appropriate way to express it. Until now, I had thought of Rite as just a human with horns, but now I had the complex feeling that he might be a monster disguised as a human. It was frustrating that even I couldn’t know the true identity of what I had raised.
Once again, my hand went to my ear. Fondling the now-warm metal from being touched so often, I organized my thoughts. Didn’t I make up my mind? That I wouldn’t let the child live according to fate. That I would raise him differently.
Perhaps all of this was the punishment for all the neglect I had committed at the imperial palace. What the Emperor had tried to create wasn’t much different from a monster.
— You’re the same, you murderer.
Just when I thought it had been quiet for a while. I sighed and closed my eyes. The pen in my hand was trembling visibly from the pressure I was applying.
Encountering the voice after so long, it was difficult to respond calmly as before. I put down the pen for a moment and removed the metal ring inserted in my earlobe. It wasn’t an action that had any particular effect, but I felt like I needed to do at least this to feel at ease.
— And you still call yourself human? Can you proudly call yourself human with your own mouth?
Since when? I fell into calm thought.
Since I started raising Rite, the frequency of hearing the voices had decreased. Was it because I had something to focus on? For the sake of raising Rite properly, I shouldn’t forget, but I had clearly become lax as time passed. As if scolding me all at once for the time I had postponed, my brain pulled out the voices from my memories.
The voices weren’t just one. Even with my eyes closed, listening only to the voice, I could immediately recall the face of the owner. A face that looked at me as if ready to tear me apart immediately, a face that spoke to me quietly while shedding tears helplessly.
— I’m a person too. I had parents who gave birth to me, and friends and lovers who loved me.
I haven’t forgotten. All of you.
I blackened the word “monsterization” written in the notebook. Instead, I wrote the term “irrational state” next to it.
Could I really do this? The weak feelings that crept in were unavoidable, but I deliberately set them aside. I had to do something. I had to do anything.
