# Chapter 20
After returning home, Rite was unusually quiet. Having seen him so energetic lately, it felt strange to see him just quietly reading books.
Still, I didn’t think there was anything particularly wrong.
“Rite, it’s time for bed.”
It was when I came out to the living room after finishing the dishes. Rite seemed not to hear me and kept looking at his book. My eyesight wasn’t good enough to read the text, but I could vaguely see the illustrations. It was… a picture of a man kneeling and pleading in front of someone. It seemed to be a romance novel.
Had I bought him such a book? Along with this mild question, I felt something odd. Before doing the dishes, so about 30 minutes ago, hadn’t Rite been looking at that same page?
“Rite. What are you doing?”
As I approached and asked again, Rite raised his head and looked up at me. His purple eyes rolled busily, scanning my face as if checking for something.
“…Nothing.”
With that answer, Rite closed the book. If he wasn’t doing anything, why was the book open? It made no sense.
I thought I had fallen asleep, but my eyes opened on their own. Looking out the window, it was completely dark.
As I was about to close my eyes again in a half-asleep state, I realized my body felt heavier than usual.
Once I recognized it, I belatedly felt the warm body temperature on my chest. It was Rite.
“…When did you come, Rite?”
My cracked voice scattered softly. Rite raised his head, apparently not yet asleep despite the faint sound.
“Can’t sleep?”
“…”
“Still, you should sleep in your room. I’ve said you need to sleep alone now…”
“I’m scared, Arden.”
Rite’s big eyes looked at me. His voice was calm, and he wasn’t crying, but I couldn’t help but worry.
“What are you scared of?”
“…”
“Did you have a bad dream?”
Rite didn’t answer. When the child didn’t respond, I grew anxious. I wondered if something was wrong, and my heart gradually softened with concern.
“It’s okay. It’s just a dream.”
“Arden.”
“Yes?”
“Why don’t you tell me I’m pretty anymore?”
What? I couldn’t grasp what he meant. Rite didn’t answer and buried his face in my arms.
I stopped asking and reached out to gently pat Rite’s back. It should be fine to let him sleep like this for today. It’s only occasionally. I convinced myself. My brain, not fully awake, made my reasoning hazy.
“Arden.”
“Yes?”
“Finger.”
I shook my head. I’m not sure if he could see it in the dark.
Rite’s hand grabbed my wrist and pulled. I should tell him to stop. My body was languid, as if I would fall asleep any moment, and I let him pull as he wanted.
Soon something moist and soft touched my index finger. I immediately recognized it as Rite’s tongue.
“Rite, don’t do that.”
Though I said that, I didn’t pull my hand away. I was too tired. And Rite didn’t stop with just that mild protest.
Rite, who had just been holding it in his mouth, started to suck on my finger little by little. It was hot and ticklish, but not enough to disturb my sleep.
Ah, I need to break this habit too. Even as I thought that, my body gradually sank into slumber.
* * *
It was a morning like any other. We ate the simple breakfast I prepared together, and while I did the dishes, Rite got ready to go outside.
By now, Rite could neatly fix his hat and secure his hair with pins without my help.
It was when I was putting on the thick coat hanging by the entrance after finishing the dishes. Rite, who was changing into fur-lined boots, spoke to me.
“Arden. Are you busy today?”
“About the same as usual.”
“Then… can I follow you around today?”
I turned my head abruptly at the unexpected request. It was strange that he was dragging his words unlike his usual self, and that a child who loved playing so much would suddenly say such a thing.
“Why? Did you fight with your friends?”
“No. It’s nothing. Pretend you didn’t hear it.”
Before I could ask what was wrong, Rite, who had finished putting on his shoes, went outside first.
During the brief moment when the door opened and closed, a cool breeze entered the house. I should be used to the cold by now, but when the low temperature brushed against me, I couldn’t help but hunch my shoulders.
I wonder what’s wrong. Or could it be that puberty is already starting? Come to think of it, he does seem a bit taller.
I couldn’t just be proud of watching him grow so quickly. It wasn’t the growth rate of an ordinary human.
“Pini?”
As I was thinking these bitter thoughts while fastening my coat, I heard Rite’s voice from outside. Opening the door, I saw Pini approaching, waving its hand. I hadn’t asked for anything in particular. Is something wrong? With an anxious heart, I hurried outside.
“You’re up early, Rite.”
A smiling face appeared on Pini’s display panel. Normally, Rite would have happily hugged Pini, but he was unusually quiet. He even turned his head away as if he was shy. Seeing this, Pini displayed a surprised expression on its screen.
“Rite, is something wrong?”
I quietly approached behind Rite and made eye contact with only Pini. It seemed like he wasn’t in a good mood today. At my gesture, Pini seemed to understand and didn’t speak to Rite anymore.
“What brings you here?”
“Nothing much. I found this while cleaning the house.”
Pini put down its bag and handed over a thick notebook. It looked worn in places as if a long time had passed. When I opened it, I saw a familiar handwriting.
“It’s Plin’s diary.”
“Ah…”
The date written was also from long ago. Probably around that time…
“This was when Arden hadn’t been living with Plin for long. I thought it might be useful for you. I don’t know much about that time either, and it’s a kind of childcare diary.”
Arden, the child, that kid. Though the references varied, the diary mentioned me at seven years old. Even if it didn’t match Rite’s age, it seemed like it would be helpful.
As Pini said, while raising Rite, I often found myself thinking of Plin. What would Plin do, what was I like when I was young—those kinds of thoughts. But I wasn’t sure how to understand Pini, who had traveled this far just to deliver this one thing. Usually, Pini would contact me before visiting, but today’s visit wasn’t planned.
“You came all this way just to give me this?”
“I brought all the diaries just in case. And I also bought this. Orange jam. I thought Rite would like it.”
Pini took out thick notebooks in one hand and a jar of jam in the other from its bag. It immediately handed the jam to Rite, but Rite still pretended not to see Pini as he took the jam.
“Is that all?”
“What else do you need?”
Pini’s eyes on the screen became round. No, it’s nothing. I said that and headed back to the cabin, saying I would put the jam and diary inside.
* * *
I sat down near where the children had settled in front of the temple. It was because I was worried that something might happen. Pini also stayed by my side instead of leaving right away. I had brought a book to pass the time, but I didn’t open it. Instead, I rested my chin on my hand and observed Rite.
The children said something among themselves and then scattered in small groups, moving their hands busily. Rite was with Ea, and they were scooping up snow with bare hands, without even wearing gloves.
Their hands must be cold. I thought I should bring gloves in my pocket next time, even though I didn’t bring them this time because I thought they might get in the way of playing.
The children found broken bricks from somewhere, laid them out in a line, and sprinkled snow on them. The children waiting in front of the bricks picked up stones and started crushing the snow in various ways. From the way they were doing it, it looked similar to playing house.
When I left home, I thought Rite seemed a bit taller, but he was smaller compared to Cal or Ea. Especially Cal, who was developing quickly and was significantly larger. I could see Cal constantly picking on Rite and nudging him, but Rite remained calm without any particular reaction.
“Maybe he takes after me.”
I had never thought of Rite as docile. When he was younger, didn’t he cry so much? His hands were so hot that whenever I put him in the cradle, he would sense it immediately and cry, so I often had to hold him in my arms to soothe him. But seeing him now, staying still without showing any irritation towards Cal, I felt upset. Since Cal hadn’t hit Rite or caused any harm yet, it was awkward for me to intervene.
“Then who else would Rite take after if not Arden?”
Pini responded to my muttering. But I wasn’t Rite’s blood relative. As if seeing through my thoughts, Pini spoke again.
“Arden takes after Plin too, you know.”
“Me?”
“You’ve lived together for a long time. It’s natural to grow similar.”
Plin was neither strict nor did he neglect me. He fulfilled all his minimum obligations diligently and was always reasonable and logical. I had no particular complaints or resentments about Plin’s parenting style.
Plin was someone who tried to avoid friction as much as possible. Because of that, he taught me how to deal with people properly, but there was a crucial difference between us. While I try to avoid all fights, Plin didn’t avoid necessary ones. So perhaps I was the problem.
Should I have raised Rite to be stronger? Or should I have been more indulgent? No matter how much I pondered, there was no one to give me the answers.
“I don’t think Plin raised me wrong.”
“Of course not. Arden didn’t grow up wrong.”
Pini answered immediately as soon as I finished speaking. That made me laugh a little. It felt like Pini was taking my side.
“But Rite can’t even properly express displeasure to others.”
“Of course. Plin was like that, and so are you, Arden.”
“Plin was?”
I turned my head to look at Pini. Pini was still looking at Rite and nodding. I knew that since human memory is imperfect, the judgment of Pini, being a robot, would be more accurate, but I couldn’t immediately agree.
“Plin also didn’t complain even when he was at a disadvantage. Of course, he would grumble a lot once he got home.”
“But he wasn’t someone who couldn’t fight at all.”
“Fight?”
“Not a physical fight. Fighting in the sense of standing up for oneself?”
“Well… certainly more than Arden.”
It was something I already knew, but hearing someone else talk about it didn’t make me feel very good. While racking my brain to change the subject, one thing suddenly came to mind.
“By the way, I heard there’s an epidemic in Moran.”
“Ah, yes. It’s been quiet in the newspapers lately, so I’d forgotten.”
It was a surprisingly human-like statement for a robot.
“Is Kamalon okay?”
“Yes. It’s always a quiet village. Peaceful.”
Pini’s words made me recall my hometown, now faded in memory. I didn’t realize it when I was young, but after becoming an adult and leaving my hometown, I realized it was truly peaceful. Perhaps I have a nostalgia I wasn’t aware of. After all, incidents that happen in familiar spaces and problems faced in unfamiliar spaces feel completely different.
“The country is in turmoil, isn’t it? I heard they’re conscripting young people these days.”
“It’s always been like that. In that sense, it’s fortunate. Neither Arden, Rite, nor I need to worry about being conscripted.”
It wasn’t funny at all, but somehow I laughed. Pini the robot, me who became a traitor and was exiled, and Rite without a proper identity. Not a single ordinary existence among us.
“That was a funny joke for a robot, wasn’t it?”
“Looking at you makes me think Plin was truly a great engineer.”
“Of course. I’m not at all inferior to the new model robots.”
As we were exchanging idle talk, a loud voice came from the group of children. It was Cal’s voice.
