“Did Yu Junwoo say something weird again?”
“Not something weird, but he said you didn’t eat or rest properly and just kept guiding until I regained consciousness.”
“That’s not true.”
“Really?”
Junseo, who had only been rolling his eyes, clung to Dohyuk without answering. Judging by how he was quietly acting cute, it seemed the story about him collapsing once was also true.
Junseo, who whined over trivial matters and boldly demanded attention, habitually lied about things like this.
Dohyuk pulled the body in front of him closer and exhaled a long breath. The carefully chosen words continued slowly.
“Last time, you said you wanted to get hurt the same way every time I got hurt. I understand those words now.”
Junseo rubbed his cheek against Dohyuk’s shoulder.
“Don’t scold me.”
“I’m not scolding you, it’s just… I feel like I’m exploiting you. I’m sorry.”
Junseo’s movements, which had been like a young animal’s, stopped. He seemed to realize what topic Dohyuk was bringing up.
Dr. Yu Junwoo’s voice from a few hours ago surfaced again in Dohyuk’s mind.
‘Esper Choi Dohyuk is a life form artificially fused with dungeon core energy. The illegal experiments conducted so far succeeded in inserting a dungeon core into a life form, but… they couldn’t give it the ability to circulate internal energy on its own. To explain simply, Esper Lee Seoyeon and Esper Choi Dohyuk are people whose hearts are stopping.’
‘……’
‘The dungeon core energy that stops moving only stagnates, and abnormalities occur in that area. That’s exactly what monsterization is.’
According to Dr. Yu Junwoo, Dohyuk was no different from a person whose heart had stopped and whose body was progressing toward necrosis. If Junseo hadn’t taken over the role of his heart, the only ending would have been losing his name and being hunted by his own kind.
“You’re sorry…? So is it hard being with me?”
At Junseo’s question, Dohyuk let out a bitter smile. He seemed to know what Junseo was wary of.
Dohyuk, his forehead buried in Junseo’s shoulder, took a deep breath. He pushed the distinctive scent deep into his lungs and pulled their already close upper bodies even tighter.
“No. Honestly, I was happy. That’s why I’m sorry.”
He was sorry because he was only happy about the feeling of being firmly tied together with life as collateral. He was sorry because it was only after reaching this point that he finally felt like he was living. He couldn’t help but feel sorry every time Junseo, who must have lived holding only the best things, cherished him when he was already broken and tattered.
“……”
“Can I really just live by your side?”
He asked in a choked voice and placed his hand on Junseo’s waist. Right on that scar where he’d been unable to let go of his attachment and had ultimately grabbed and wounded him. Each time he pushed his hand under the thin top and caressed the uneven surface, a strange emotion swelled.
Affection, guilt, and even satisfaction.
“Hyung.”
At the quiet call, Dohyuk raised his head.
“Yeah?”
“If you die, I’ll commit suicide too. Fair and square.”
A gentle voice easily packaged the absurd content.
It was when Dohyuk was spacing out, intoxicated by the eye smile that spread right in front of his nose. His lips were caught. At the same time, the sensation he’d half-forgotten began kneading his mind freely. How long had it been since contact? This was the guiding from Junseo that he’d so desperately wanted. The strength drained from his facial muscles. He was surely making a stupid expression, but he didn’t even have the leisure to compose himself.
Dohyuk let out ragged breaths and sucked on the tongue that entered his mouth. Each time he swallowed saliva down his throat, his entire body filled with ecstasy. Yet he kept growing greedy. How nice would it be if he could bite down on whatever he touched and swallow larger pieces? Wouldn’t this strange hunger be forgotten, even if just for a moment?
Dohyuk, who had been imagining up to that point, hastily clenched his fists and pulled apart their bodies that had been pressed together without gaps. His flushed face exhaled rough breaths.
“Ah…! Junseo, w-wait…. I’m, right now….”
Junseo ignored that restraint. The moment he fumbled over the solid chest filled with muscle and scratched over the thin indoor clothes, Dohyuk moaned. The instant his low voice was dyed with heat, his lower abdomen tightened.
He held the trembling Adam’s apple in his mouth and rubbed the scratched area once more. Finally, he lowered his lips to the nipple that stood out prominently enough to be visible through the clothes. He wetted the stiff fabric with saliva and rubbed the surface arbitrarily.
“Ugh, wait a second….”
Even while frowning at the awkward feeling, the tenderness of not being able to refuse with force was welcome.
“Don’t you like it?”
“It’s a little weird, doing it over clothes….”
His large hands couldn’t quite reach Junseo and circled empty air. Dohyuk was frozen stiff like someone standing before a sandcastle that would collapse at the slightest touch, even holding his breath.
“Hold me.”
When he whispered soothingly in his ear, Dohyuk finally moved hesitantly. Junseo, obediently held in Dohyuk’s arms, kissed the same spot over and over. When he traced up the jawline and took the earlobe in his mouth, Dohyuk’s shoulders flinched.
While kissing Dohyuk’s brow that had furrowed automatically from exhilaration, Junseo whispered in a small voice.
“I want to sleep with you, hyung.”
Dohyuk’s top was stripped off in an instant. When he looked with surprised eyes, the round eyes right in front of his nose curved long. Junseo pulled Dohyuk toward him as he tried to pull back his body at the strange feeling, and laid his body down below.
Junseo’s knee rubbed over his member that had swelled since they started kissing. Dohyuk panted as if stabbed by a knife and shook his head.
“W-wait, Junseo, I….”
“…You don’t really want to?”
“I mean… it’s not that I don’t want to.”
“I see.”
Dohyuk was genuinely conflicted. If he said he didn’t want to here, Junseo would obediently step back saying, “Okay. We’ll do it when you want to, hyung,” just like before, but the problem was what came next. It wasn’t the right choice to keep dragging things out and repeatedly refusing like this either. Because it might cause misunderstandings.
When his dilemma reached its final stage, Dohyuk finally expressed his opinion.
“I don’t want to… hurt you. It’s fine to just use our hands, so just….”
And Dohyuk’s serious voice stopped because of Junseo’s peculiar smile. Junseo was smiling radiantly with his cheeks flushed red, like a flower blooming, as he listened to Dohyuk’s words. It wasn’t an expression he’d never seen before. That is, Junseo… made that expression when Dohyuk gave him his “living expenses.”
“Ah, so hyung….”
He tilted his head loosely and burst into short laughter again. Even after hearing words of refusal, he couldn’t understand why he looked so excited.
“…Hm?”
But Junseo only rubbed his lips against Dohyuk’s cheek with a shy expression.
“No… I’m just happy.”
No matter how much he thought about it, there was no reason for Junseo to be happy. When Dohyuk frowned, Junseo seemed to notice the meaning and added an explanation.
“Hyung, you’re so lewd.”
“What?”
But it was such a simple explanation with everything before and after omitted that Dohyuk was only more flustered.
Was it okay to say that to someone’s face? Around the time his vision was getting dizzy from hearing an adjective for the first time in his life, Junseo’s fingers traced down Dohyuk’s solid upper body and naturally undid his pants buckle.
The undressing proceeded in an instant without time to stop it. It wasn’t even the first time their bare skin touched, but today was particularly embarrassing. When his member, still erect despite having claimed “I don’t want to hurt you,” was exposed, his face felt like it would burst. Moreover, Junseo was only slightly disheveled but still fully dressed, making it even more humiliating.
It was the moment Dohyuk couldn’t stand it and tried to sit up.
“Did you imagine putting it inside me?”
“Ngh!”
Junseo whispered in a voice tinged with laughter and wrapped his hand around Dohyuk’s member.
“It’s so big, I think it would hurt….”
At the words Junseo whispered pressed close to his ear, he only swallowed his breath. When the ecstasy aroused by guiding mixed with sexual pleasure, he couldn’t maintain his sanity.
Junseo quietly gazed at the moment the upright expression crumbled and repeatedly tightened and loosened his hand. Each time his palm and the member rubbed together, the creaking sound echoed lewdly.
“…When you imagined it, how far did it go in?”
And because of Junseo pressing his abdomen against him as if openly measuring, Dohyuk finally couldn’t hold back and pulled Junseo’s waist strongly. When he rubbed his member against Junseo’s stomach, still clothed, the stiff fabric mercilessly scraped the sensitive area. His vision grew dizzy at the rough texture different from skin. All patience disappeared and instinctive hip movements continued.
Each time Dohyuk moaned lowly and moved his hips, the pre-cum that had been flowing glossily down his shaft wetly stained Junseo’s clothes. But he couldn’t stop. His body, which had been forcibly holding back and enduring, reacted on its own to the pouring guiding.
Dohyuk, moving like a dog marking territory, bit his lips and half-sobbed.
“Hk, …hng, this, stop, please… don’t, guide me. Please….”
Each time the top was rubbed against his member and rode up, Junseo’s skin was revealed. Even the bright red handprints he didn’t know when had been made.
It was right then that Dohyuk, frantic to touch Junseo even a little more, pulled back his body. Whether he bit the inside of his mouth hard to wake himself up, when red tinged the saliva flowing between his lips that he couldn’t quite close, Junseo’s face hardened.
“Hyung, wait. Open your mouth, okay?”
Dohyuk weakly restrained the hand gripping his jaw.
“It’s okay, it’s fine so… stop. I… really don’t want to hurt you.”
With Dohyuk’s gloomy voice as the end, the heated atmosphere rapidly cooled and silence circled.
