<1> Cause and Effect
The first time he attempted suicide was around when the ninety-second tally mark was carved into the wall. Just before his consciousness shattered into pieces, painful memories stained his vision blood-red like gore.
The shock of that first day was still vivid. He couldn’t believe everything he faced after waking up. The space was so narrow he had to curl up halfway to lie down—it was less like a room and more like a coffin, and without even a palm-sized window, the musty smell of mold was suffocating.
He spent long hours pounding on the walls and making threats. When he grew tired of intimidating, he hurled abuse. When the first meal tray was pushed through a narrow gap in the floor, he even begged, saying he’d give everything he had if they would just let him out. Judging by how they’d bothered to treat and cast his broken leg, it didn’t seem like they planned to simply kill him—so what on earth did they want? He was willing to give them anything if only they’d let him out of this hell, but the person pushing the tray through from beyond the wall showed not the slightest reaction, driving him to madness.
It was after Dr. Jeong had overturned the unsightly meal tray eleven times that he finally collapsed sprawled on the filthy floor. By the time the stench of rotting food filled the room, he had lost consciousness from prolonged starvation.
“Hheok…!”
Dr. Jeong sat up, exhaling a long breath and frowning. His body, which had grown heavier each day from eating nothing, now felt strangely light. The sense of wrongness wasn’t limited to that. Dr. Jeong’s gaze fell to his legs. The cast that had been tightly constricting his leg had completely disappeared.
“……?”
He looked around in shock. The room that should have been in shambles was mockingly clean. Come to think of it, his body, which should have been covered in sweat and body odor reeking of sour stench, was also strangely spotless.
As the incomprehensible situation repeated, now he only felt fear. Dr. Jeong curled up his entire body, thoroughly cowed. It was while he was gnawing at his nails in this pathetic state that a viscous mucus-like substance came off on his fingertips. What is this? Puzzled, he rubbed his fingers together, then licked what was on his lips. It had no particular scent, but the feeling was sticky and an unpleasant taste lingered on the tip of his tongue. It was medicine.
The moment he realized, he swallowed a scream. While he’d been unconscious, they had not only treated his leg but also neatly healed the injuries on his hands from scratching the floor and walls. Judging by how his dizzy head had cleared up, they must have given him nutritional supplements too.
Realizing that what they wanted wasn’t short-term revenge, Dr. Jeong screamed wildly to hide his fear. His eyes, reflected in the dim lighting, glittered bloodshot.
“You’re watching everything, aren’t you! Do you really think you’ll be fine after doing this? If you don’t let me out right now…!”
It was while he was shouting hoarsely at the empty air. With a rattling sound, the iron door opened, and a meal tray was shoved through the narrow gap that appeared. At the same time, Dr. Jeong prostrated himself flat and pressed his face into that gap. Then he began wheedling in a softened voice as if he’d never been shouting.
“S-save me! There’s a person trapped in here. I’ll compensate you generously…! I’ll give you whatever you want, so please just listen to me…!”
Dr. Jeong’s pleas continued endlessly, but the result was the same this time too. The gap that had spat out the tray closed without hesitation. All that remained was the tray. Perhaps to prevent self-harm, there were no chopsticks, not even a spoon. How was this any different from filling a dog’s food bowl? His face felt like it would burst from the humiliation. How could anyone do this to a person…
The moment he gritted his teeth, someone’s voice burrowed into Dr. Jeong’s mind. It was a monotonous voice that sounded almost bored.
‘Doctor, you should prepare to lose as much as you’ve taken.’
Indignation surged. He couldn’t understand at all what he’d done so wrong. He felt only pity for himself, who had devoted himself to humanity’s evolution and progress all this time.
The anger that had been cowering under the weight of fear began boiling again. Dr. Jeong roughly lumped together the cold rice. Then, in the coffin-like dark space, he chewed and swallowed it along with contents of the tray that he couldn’t even see. He was determined to survive. He felt like he could only be satisfied if he survived and ground down the rest of his life to exact revenge on those who had done this to him.
In a place with nothing, the only thing that served as a clock was the regularly provided meals. Dr. Jeong carved tally marks with his fingernails on the soft wallpaper, assuming the tray came in twice a day.
Rattle!
On the day he carved the ninety-second tally mark.
“Missing Dr. Jeong Byeongseok… plagiarism of papers and experimental ethics issues…?”
The meal tray was the same as usual, but unlike usual, there was an additional piece of paper. Dr. Jeong’s eyes widened as he read it piecemeal, relying on the dim lighting.
Disheveled hair, a beard grown haphazardly, lips chapped and cracked from extreme dryness, dark circles around his eyes. His formerly neat appearance was nowhere to be found. Only his eyes shone brightly with disbelief. Everything he had built up until now had completely crumbled within this crude piece of paper.
“Those idiots who couldn’t say a word in front of me, how d-dare, how dare they…! While I was, while I was gone…!”
Dr. Jeong poured out the food from the tray and struck the iron door with bloodshot eyes blazing. The metallic sound of the tray clashing against the solid iron door rang through the room several times.
His stamina having deteriorated terribly from being confined, his breath soon rose to his chin. Dr. Jeong glared at the iron door while panting.
“Let me out! Let me out right now! Isn’t this enough? Just how long are you planning to keep me locked up! Just kill me! Just kill me instead!”
That day, Dr. Jeong, who had been frantically swinging the broken tray while screaming hoarsely, bit his tongue, unable to control his rage.
“……”
And when Dr. Jeong regained consciousness again with tremendous pain, he was still lying in the well-organized narrow room, neatly treated.
Such a life worse than an animal’s continued. Locked alone in a room with nothing, it was only natural that he was gradually going insane.
His staggering gaze moved using the dimly shooting beam of light as a marker. Terribly crumpled papers were rolling around on the floor. There were already six papers given irregularly during meal times.
‘I know several other ways to plunge your life into the mud besides that. You should have only committed one or two wrongs.’
It was exactly as those words said.
Being trapped in a space where nothing changed, only able to watch everything he’d built up collapse completely, was hell. Unbearable emotions gnawed at his insides. He had torn the papers to shreds in venting his anger many times.
But at some point, Dr. Jeong couldn’t throw away the newspaper articles coming from outside. He fumbled around the floor unsteadily, earnestly smoothing out the pieces of paper he’d crumpled, reading the printed text.
Because if he didn’t do even this, it felt like that thick darkness would devour him.
<2> Just the Two of Us
“Esper Choi Dohyuk, sedatives can be prescribed with the consent of your partner Guide. Please bring Guide Yu Junseo with you or bring a consent form.”
“What? This is the first I’m hearing that a partner Guide’s consent is needed to prescribe sed— I mean, sedatives. I received a prescription for sedatives without my partner Guide’s consent a few months ago too. There must be some mistake…”
“After that, Guide Yu Junseo filed a partner bond application. Did you perhaps not know?”
Only then did a hazy memory surface. Junseo had said he was applying for something and Dohyuk had just nodded, telling him to do as he pleased—this must have been one of those things. To the flustered Dohyuk, the headquarters-affiliated Esper specialist doctor continued. In summary, from now on, Dohyuk could only receive medication prescriptions and examinations with Junseo’s consent.
“……”
Dohyuk thought with a face frozen so rigid that anyone watching would feel threatened. Getting a libido suppressant prescription while bringing Junseo along? He felt like facing an S-class monster alone would be far more manageable.
In the end, having gained nothing, he was leaving the Esper counseling center when he looked back at the headquarters.
It had already been a month since Dohyuk had regained his senses and focused solely on recovery. During that time, many things seemed to have happened, like the Esper Director and Guide Director of the Korean Ability Management Headquarters being dismissed and new directors taking office, but Dohyuk wasn’t particularly curious about any of it.
Since miraculously opening his eyes, all the time that flowed felt like a bonus. That was why he’d shaken his head without hesitation when asked if he wanted to personally punish the research team that had forced human experimentation. He didn’t want to waste the life Junseo had given him on such things. It was enough just knowing they were paying for their sins. Dohyuk wanted to pour all his time only into Junseo.
Recently, each day felt like a dream. Because he’d never been this happy before, Dohyuk still couldn’t help but constantly doubt whether the reality he was standing on was real.
It was while Dohyuk was standing still, weighed down by the building’s shadow. His phone vibrated in his pocket. The caller was, of course, Junseo.
His rigid lips loosened unknowingly. Covering his lower face with the back of his hand, he hurriedly pressed the answer button.
“Yeah, Junseo.”
[Hyung… I miss you… When are you coming?]
As soon as he brought the phone to his ear, a weak voice complained miserably. Judging by the whining, it sounded like they hadn’t seen each other for about a week, but it had only been 30 minutes since Dohyuk had left the house. Unable to endure even an hour and already whimpering. He was like an attention-starved puppy, so adorable. Come to think of it, he was white and fluffy, so he resembled one too.
“I just left the center. I’m heading home now.”
[Why did you go to headquarters? Without me. You’re on leave, so you didn’t have to go…]
