Chapter 6
The landscape beyond the melted monster’s corpse swam before his eyes. Dohyuk’s mind churned with doubt.
Did I actually protect them?
His body, rigid moments ago, began to sway. The world tilted and spun.
A child just trying to survive, hunched over with fear. His mind, which had been exploding in fireworks of color, finally collapsed into chaos.
“Choi Dohyuk! Dohyuk-ah!”
He tried to turn toward that familiar voice, but his body gave out. Blood seeped between his clenched fists as he fought to stay conscious. A similar red glow blinked from his mechanical choker, staining it with a glossy sheen.
***
[Breaking News] A-Class Monster Samchung Appears in Southern Ganghwa Island… Blue House: “Assessing Damage”
The Blue House announced that President Kwak Mincheol has approved emergency financial aid following the appearance of an A-class monster, Samchung, in southern Ganghwa Island, which resulted in numerous civilian casualties.
The Korean Ability Management Authority stated: “The A-class dungeon is located on Gyodong Island, approximately 23km from where Samchung first appeared. Until now, research indicated dungeons could only influence areas within a 3km radius, but this incident has shattered our previous understanding. We will provide an official briefing after completing our investigation.”
No human fatalities have been reported, but one A-class Esper lost consciousness during the response and has been transferred to Korean Ability Management Headquarters.
Meanwhile, a public petition filed on the 28th of last month expressing concern over the recent increase in dungeon outbreaks and demanding guarantees for public safety has gathered nearly 723,622 signatures.
***
Spring sunlight. Wildflowers blooming modestly. An animal’s tail brushing against his fingertips. The warmth of a loved one’s body heat gently caressing his skin. His mother’s hand stroking his head, his father’s laughter tickling his shoulders.
A lake gleaming more brilliantly than shattered diamonds in the sunlight.
White mist settling over the forest like rain.
The babbling of a stream tickling his earlobes.
It felt like returning to the distant past, becoming a thoughtless child again.
He frowned at the ticklish sensation, indulging in childish petulance. Perhaps he’d been afraid that if he embraced this joy too openly, it would slip through his fingers.
‘Don’t you like it?’
A voice threaded with laughter came through the sound of flowing water. The voice tasted like biting into cheesecake—sweet as if filled with sugar, yet languid.
When Dohyuk whined that it tickled, the voice responded by playfully tickling his cheek.
Crisp, dry. He wanted to turn over on these sun-scented sheets, fresh from the line, but his strength had completely drained away. He couldn’t even move a finger. He was so drowsy. Dohyuk tried weakly to open his eyes but succumbed to the temptation and failed.
As Dohyuk flinched like a sleepy child, long fingers wove deep into his hair, tousling it.
Ah. Dohyuk tilted his head back.
Had he really become an infant? He needed to pee. It was strange. He trembled, trying to bend his knees, but still no strength entered his body.
‘Why are you running away?’
The spring sunlight pressed close to his face and whispered in his ear.
Rainbow-colored fingers, plump and round, wove through his hair, reaching deeper to caress the tangled mess inside his head.
No. That wasn’t it. It wasn’t inside his head. Those fingers were dampening the spaces between Dohyuk’s own fingers, trying to dye him rainbow-colored too.
Palm against palm, rubbing together.
No.
Only then could he muster enough strength to barely shake his head. The movement was really just a slight twitch, but Dohyuk couldn’t tell the difference.
‘Why, when you like it so much.’
His abdomen pulsed at that sweet voice that refused to leave. Dohyuk unconsciously pointed his toes. No, I don’t like it. Despite his barely uttered resistance, it remained insistent.
‘You’re enjoying it right now, aren’t you?’
Laughter clung to the words like jam. His lower abdomen felt cold again. Dohyuk trembled at the waist and rubbed his feet against the sheets.
Let me go, let me go. He thought he’d clearly opened his mouth and spoken, but now he wasn’t sure. Was he speaking? Or just panting? He didn’t know. He didn’t want to think about anything. The more he thought, the deeper his yearning became.
In truth, he wanted his palm rubbed again. He wanted fingers threaded between his own, intertwined tightly. It seemed like that small gesture alone could make his gloomy world shine brilliantly. Like endless days would stretch out where the deep night sky could be cut through, mixing reddish sunset and morning light however he wished.
His body, constantly craving and yearning, flinched. Even in his utterly mindless state, Dohyuk rustled as he tried to shake his head violently.
Get away. Please. Don’t touch me. Don’t disturb me.
‘Liar.’
Flower petals dropped with each word. Fingers tickled his palm. At the same time, Dohyuk’s mouth opened unconsciously. Hic. Did he just moan? The fallen petals bloomed fully. Dohyuk shed tears at the perverse sense of liberation.
‘You’re desperate to touch me more.’
…No.
‘Why?’
Because you’ll disappear…
It laughed aloud at the warning Dohyuk tried to make sound as firm as possible.
It was laughable. Even to his disoriented mind, his voice was trembling miserably.
This feeling of powerlessness was unfamiliar. He wished he could at least open his eyes.
After several attempts using all his strength, Dohyuk barely managed to pry his eyes open.
A whitish halo of light adorned the figure standing before him beautifully.
The light seemed to blur through the film of tears coating his pupils. Tears that flowed down the corners of his eyes kept welling up, completely obscuring his vision.
‘Are you worried about me?’
A snow-white face smiled prettily through his hazy vision, soaked with tears and drug-induced fog. Though everything was blurred and he couldn’t make out the eyes, nose, or mouth, his gaze was feverish.
An angel?
Dohyuk’s pupils, barely visible between his heavy eyelids, rolled back again.
***
When Dohyuk woke up in the most refreshed state he’d ever experienced, only to realize the chaotic state of his lower body—worse than during his turbulent adolescence—he wanted to become the first Esper to achieve fame by cracking his own skull open and committing suicide.
If this had happened because of a wet dream at twenty-seven, he would have felt self-loathing, but it would have been better than his current situation.
In reality, Dohyuk’s memories were severely fragmented by the drug’s effects and his unstable mental state, splintered into multiple strands. Despite hunting all kinds of monsters during his 7+ years as an Esper, this was his first time being pushed to the brink of an outburst and receiving a sedative injection from his control device. To make matters worse, he even remembered briefly opening his eyes due to the strange sensation that arose while receiving guiding, but everything after that was completely blank.
Dohyuk was terrified, unable to remember what he’d done unconsciously. What if he’d committed some terrible offense against that Guide while he was out of it?
Unfortunately, even these days, it was common for Espers to mistreat Guides. Despite being fellow ability users, Guides were non-combatants who only possessed the ability to guide Espers, making them easy victims of various crimes—including forceful assault by Espers.
“…Did I do something awful while I was unconscious?”
His mind was completely blank. All he remembered was the moment his splitting headache magically vanished and the strange sensation that flooded in as the pain disappeared. And the exhausted emotion he felt while barely lifting his eyelids. He couldn’t remember the other person’s face at all. The only thing he recalled was thinking that whatever he’d seen when he opened his eyes resembled an “angel.”
Angel. …Am I really insane? This is why drugs are terrifying.
Dohyuk began turning away from reality. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding. Maybe he’d just had a strange dream while sleeping. But Dohyuk’s conscience was intact enough—just at the level of an average person—to prevent such escapism.
“……”
Having that kind of experience while receiving guiding was, in his entire life, truly.
In his entire life, truly, a first.
Dohyuk was a well-mannered Esper. It was more accurate to say he didn’t need to be slavishly devoted to guiding since his satisfaction from it was significantly lower compared to other Espers, but regardless, Dohyuk valued manners. In his view, Espers held positions of power, and it was only natural for the strong to protect and consider the weak while maintaining moral standards.
The relationship between Espers and Guides is ambiguous when it comes to drawing clear boundaries between professional and personal distance. It was also rare for both parties to maintain boundaries at a mutually satisfying distance through mutual agreement.
Most Espers feel immense satisfaction through guiding. A research center once published findings showing that Espers with high matching rates and high satisfaction from guiding tend to develop stronger possessiveness toward those Guides. In the past, it was common for Espers to attempt to treat Guides forcefully, wielding their superior powers as weapons. Despite the government’s continuous efforts—increasing mandatory ethics education hours for Espers, establishing Guide Protection Laws—it was still a reality that Espers occasionally mistreated Guides.
Whenever Dohyuk read news articles about such crimes committed by Espers, he would think nonchalantly:
‘What bastards.’
But today, Dohyuk had become one of those bastards.
