# Chapter 59
Long fingers ruffled Dohyuk’s hair as if stroking it. With his forehead pressed against Dohyuk’s—exposed between the already quite long strands of hair—Junseo formed an eye-smile. Dohyuk unconsciously swallowed and shifted his body. When Dohyuk created a distance just a finger’s joint apart, Junseo followed with an expression that suggested even that was unacceptable. Their foreheads touched again.
At a distance so close that another’s breath could be confused with his own, a sudden absurd thought surged in him.
He wanted to bury his nose in that straight neck before him, find where the pulse beat strongest, and bite down hard. He imagined grabbing that snow-white sweater, stripping it off messily, then thoroughly biting that skin as white and fine as the fur color. The satisfaction that would rise if his mark were imprinted there. Dohyuk unknowingly let out a languid sigh.
That’s when it happened. A pair of eyes brushed aside his petty imagination and rushed right up to his face. The fragrant scent that he had mistakenly thought he’d grown accustomed to traced over Dohyuk even more thickly. Having to half-hold his breath, Dohyuk couldn’t respond quickly to the following question. A small whisper asking, “Do you know?” A voice half-submerged, sinking beneath a lake. Dohyuk unconsciously trembled his lower lip. Was it tension, or because his mouth was half-open? Even the tip of his tongue felt parched. His moisture-less tongue seemed like it might split in two like a snake’s tongue.
“When hyung gets excited, it shows right away.”
Junseo added, like a kind teacher. When he whispered, “This part turns red,” each syllable pricked at Dohyuk’s nape. Dohyuk shook his head. A small laugh resonated. He felt as if he were naked alone. He wanted to raise the hand that had been pressing down on the sheet to cover Junseo’s eyes.
It was ticklish. It felt like the spark that started at his nape was surging up to both cheeks. After fidgeting restlessly, Dohyuk finally hunched his body. Some part of his body strangely pulled, and he was out of breath despite not having run. Even after censoring himself, he seemed out of his mind, to the point of suspecting whether Junseo was secretly guiding him. Yet, deep down, he realized again. That right now, he just wanted to find a small excuse to run away.
Dohyuk wanted to turn his eyes away from these pitch-black eyes. Like a deer that sticks just its head into a hole it dug and feels relieved.
“Even if it’s not your preference, it seems your body responds.”
His voice, full of mischief, was still filled with affection. Dohyuk, who had caught on to what Junseo was saying, shook his head. He wondered when the conversation had gone so strangely awry. Looking at Junseo’s face, he couldn’t tell at all what he was thinking. He seemed like he might be sulking over something trivial, or pretending to be angry with a frown even though he wasn’t actually angry at all. He felt anxious and curious about what thoughts filled that small head. Each time, a desire to thoroughly observe only Junseo’s eyes, neglecting all other matters for a long time, welled up inside Dohyuk. But having already had his aroused state noticed by Junseo, he had to offer excuses first.
“No, this is from the guiding I received earlier. I told you, it’s an unavoidable physiological reaction…”
Dohyuk mumbled his response and turned his gaze away. His face reddened up to his eyes with self-loathing. He felt like covering himself with a blanket like a child. In his small, squirming days, being under a blanket felt like being inside a safe fortress where all monsters and ghosts couldn’t approach.
Dohyuk faced Junseo, who had halfway climbed on top of him. Perhaps because he didn’t feel much weight, it felt even more ethereal. It felt like he was under a spell, as if Junseo might disappear like a dream at any moment.
“I’m curious how long you’ll keep lying.”
“……”
“Hmm, what did you say? Because of the guiding? Then since it’s my fault, I should help you.”
Though it was clearly the same gentle face as always, it was utterly incomprehensible why it felt like a seductive temptation.
Long fingers rummaged through Dohyuk’s clothes. It was close to an action thoroughly mixed with mischief, but it was enough to make Dohyuk tense. When Dohyuk reached out and pretended to push Junseo away, Junseo’s reddish lips spread helplessly into a long smile. He had been caught with no real intention to push him away.
Junseo drew Dohyuk’s hand and casually kissed the rough fingertips with their raised hangnails. The dry lips stamped down like a red-hot iron rod, making the direction of the grain, engraved like a pattern, fully perceptible. Feeling as if he had been burned, Dohyuk curled his hand.
Even at such a trivial touch, Dohyuk trembled helplessly. His body, which had been faintly gasping, finally clenched its teeth. It was to regain his senses. After exhaling as if shaking off residue, he ground his teeth so fiercely that a creaking sound could be heard, and he bit down on his words. It was closer to a warning he gave himself rather than an act of getting angry at the other. Just a little longer, and he felt like he might grab Junseo and pull him toward himself instead.
“Junseo, stop joking around. Please.”
One might wonder if a predator would have such eyes when faced with a piece of meat dripping with blood.
When Junseo finally couldn’t resist and pressed his lips to Dohyuk’s eyelids, Dohyuk, startled, unconsciously turned his head the other way. His body, which had cooled in the shocking situation, began to boil again. The reaction was intense.
Recently, Junseo’s frequency of skinship had gone beyond frequent, reaching the point of casually placing his lips on Dohyuk’s cheek. Sometimes, even Dohyuk fell into the illusion that Junseo was treating him like a lover. It was excessive no matter how he thought about it.
‘They say to raise the empathy rate for more effective guiding, it’s important. Physical contact is said to be the most effective… Do you dislike it?’
Moreover, with such a gentle face asking so carefully, Dohyuk had no grounds to push him away.
Dohyuk, who had collapsed in the dungeon and was in a coma for six days before finally regaining consciousness, was still not in the best condition. The problem wasn’t physical but mental. Was it due to trauma that had erupted belatedly, or as Seungmin said, was his retirement time approaching? Even Dohyuk thought that lately, his depression and lethargy showed no signs of improvement. When he first received guiding from Junseo, who had a high matching rate and was also an S-class Guide, his mind felt light all day. But now, even after receiving guiding from Junseo, he needed guiding again shortly after. In fact, Dohyuk had separate headache pills that he took secretly from Junseo.
Junseo described Dohyuk in such a state as having thickly condensed pitch-black darkness sticking like ash. He said it would take quite some time to completely clear away that fog and thoroughly wipe away the traces of ash.
Junseo didn’t leave Dohyuk’s side and proceeded with as much guiding as his strength allowed whenever time permitted. This was the reason why Dohyuk, who had regained consciousness, still hadn’t left the rest room and spent time with Junseo.
And ironically, Dohyuk was able to abnormally endure the emotional changes thrown into chaos due to the intensive guiding, thanks to the guiding itself. The deep depression changed into a different form, like an oil painting suddenly painted over. It became an excitement that welled up without conditions, and the sweet anticipation eventually gave off the cold, sweet smell of base desire, with everything crushed like someone squeezing and bursting a soft peach with their hand.
Dohyuk would startle and realize whenever Junseo’s eyes became transparent like mirrors. Ah, I was looking at you with greedy eyes again. And so, he would step back again like a dog with a pulled leash.
“What are you so afraid of again? When have I ever disliked anything you’ve given me?”
Junseo found Dohyuk himself cute, including all of that. He wasn’t interested in proofreading and editing. He wanted the most one-dimensional and raw Dohyuk. Revision was something Dohyuk had to do himself.
The waiting was sweet. To the point where each moment of waiting felt like an unbroken kiss.
At Junseo’s soft voice, as if soothing a child, Dohyuk silently moved his lips as if he had really become a child. Junseo’s eyes sank into a gray color with the light behind them. It was beautiful. To the point where there wasn’t even a thought of taking his eyes away.
Just that gaze touching him made his whole body burn. As if he had become a fool.
Dohyuk, who had been sprinting to escape from the gaze staring at him, finally couldn’t find an escape route and forcibly pushed Junseo into his arms. He was still harder than imagined. The sweet scent that spread as soon as he took him in his arms made him feel as if he was embracing the largest bouquet in the world.
His mind was briefly at ease with the thought that he had escaped the gaze. Even though nothing had changed.
“…I don’t know what you’re thinking.”
At those words, Junseo laughed softly. That laughter was blocked by Dohyuk’s body and disappeared without leaving a trace.
“No way. I’m showing you everything. If you still don’t know, that’s because you’re pretending not to know.”
