# Chapter 55
Only Sangjun’s expression soured. Every time he saw that face gleaming under the sunlight, he couldn’t help but mock its shamelessness. It was incomprehensible why God had packaged such trash so beautifully. Couldn’t he have packaged it more moderately before discarding it?
Though no one was lost in serious thought, only Dohyuk spoke to Sangjun with an utterly serious expression, stumbling through words as if making excuses.
“Fighting spirit… not quite that, but as Esper Ji Sangjun-nim knows, Espers have a certain possessiveness toward their Guides…”
Ending with the implication that he too was an Esper who couldn’t help himself, Dohyuk wore a calm, repentant expression. Sangjun clicked his tongue at the sight of this neat man. He’s going to be completely devoured. And he won’t even know it while being eaten.
And so another day, much like any other, passed without regret.
Since Junseo barely touched his dinner again, Dohyuk stayed close, anxiously saying, “You’ll feel weak if you eat so little.” But that moment didn’t last long.
Time sprinted by swiftly and without a trace, like a thief who had snuck in. The constantly bright sky made the reconnaissance team increasingly sluggish as time passed. Only when the deliberately set alarm sounded did they realize it was time to sleep.
Tonight, with everyone’s permission, they decided not to confine the cat. Dohyuk, who was on night watch duty, would take care of it. Last night, when they had put the cat in a special cage, its crying sounds, like whimpering, never stopped. The Guides, who had tossed and turned all night to sounds like a newborn crying miserably, pleaded that they just wanted to get some sleep.
Dohyuk smiled slightly, recalling the group finishing their breakfast reluctantly with faces haggard from fatigue. Eventually, his composed gaze fixed on the cat’s scarlet eyes. Aewung—its face crying with its mouth wide open was cute. Sangjun’s voice from earlier poured into Dohyuk’s mind again, as if concerned.
‘Don’t get too attached. We’ll have to send it away anyway.’
If only time could flow a little more slowly, he thought, worried that this small feeling might leak out somewhere.
*
As if never tiring, the white night continued.
Dohyuk stared endlessly at the stretching time while releasing energy to the cat. With random thoughts sticking to that formless body, he had the illusion that even the air seemed to grow damp. Darkness of night isn’t the only thing that bestows the blessing of contemplation.
Dohyuk traced his memories as if slowly unwinding tangled tape film. The faint resonance that came with Junseo’s guiding, like being pecked by an unripened beak. A voice that was soft but not muddy, a kind voice.
‘Are you actually lonely?’
Though it was already a voice from the past that had brushed by long ago, it still vividly rose as if he were still sitting beside him.
When he heard those words, Dohyuk momentarily tensed, wondering if Junseo had noticed something. And only after Junseo nodded as if acknowledging he had blurted out an insignificant question did Dohyuk realize that what he spoke of was about Junseo himself. Something overlaid Junseo’s listless expression like a mask. A smile like an ornament rising over his pale face. It was such a fleeting moment that had he not been focused, he would never have noticed. Junseo smiled brightly.
Dohyuk was dazed, like someone who had witnessed something unknown.
What did Junseo say after that? The light streaming through the tent cast a blue color over Junseo’s voice. The color of loneliness was splendid.
*
The cat, which had been purring obediently in Dohyuk’s arms as he unwound the thread of memories for a long time, suddenly kicked away from its place. Though it wasn’t expected, it wasn’t the first time the cat acted on its own, so Dohyuk released his energy quite familiarly. Normally, the cat would scurry back to Dohyuk as his ability rose like thin fog. Seeing it swiftly running outside the base, Dohyuk finally became flustered, a beat too late.
The random thoughts that had risen like wisps of smoke disappeared in an instant. Dohyuk quickly chased after the cat. It would be a disaster if that small creature left the base and disappeared into the jungle. Wasn’t Gulkak, a Changgwi, still in the jungle? But contrary to Dohyuk’s wishes, the cat’s movements were too agile for him to catch up. To the point where its usual slow, lazy demeanor felt like a dream.
“…?”
Just before the cat left the base, Dohyuk raised his voice to call it. And only then did he realize. The cat still had no name.
Dohyuk’s outstretched hand fell powerlessly.
***
Unable to leave the base on his own, Dohyuk quickly found Sangjun. Sangjun, who couldn’t be thought of as someone suddenly awakened from sleep, nimbly gave instructions to people at the base and tracked the cat. The ability Sangjun had previously attached to the cat in preparation for this situation finally shone.
“It seems it hasn’t gone far. It’s near the base.”
Sangjun, after instructing Jaesik to protect the base, led Dohyuk.
“I’m sorry. I should have been more careful.”
“It couldn’t be helped. It was the majority opinion not to confine it.”
The sound of trampling soil was particularly loud. Was it because it was dawn, though still bright? Dohyuk felt a strange sensation scratching at his nerves in the usually quiet jungle.
“Esper Choi Dohyuk.”
A small voice called him. Seeing Sangjun bringing his index finger to his lips, Dohyuk suppressed his presence as much as possible. Beyond, a familiar silhouette was already visible. Jet-black fur and two erect ears that could be mistaken for a shadow. And…
Dohyuk met Sangjun’s eyes, his lips tightly closed. Sangjun nodded.
There was one more familiar silhouette in front of the cat. It was undoubtedly Gulkak. Sangjun had deliberately not awakened the other Guides in the base except for Hayeon.
So there was no way Junseo could be standing in the jungle like that.
Gulkak, which affects the prey’s cognitive abilities, returns to its original form only when dead. In fact, the expression “returns” is ambiguous. Gulkak was different from Yukhon. Gulkak’s ability wasn’t to physically change its appearance but to make its prey “perceive” it differently.
Junseo—no, the thing that looked like Junseo—reached out to the cat. Long fingers captivated the gaze. Fingertips so delicate they seemed to have been carefully carved by God touched the cat.
Would a monster’s ability extend to animals, or even to other monsters? If not, the cat wouldn’t have allowed that hand to touch it with its guard down as much as Dohyuk’s. Dohyuk and Sangjun’s eyes met. Dohyuk flinched as he watched the cat affectionately rubbing its head.
Sangjun waved his hand a couple of times with only his index and middle fingers raised. At Sangjun’s signal, Dohyuk drew his dagger and rolled. Matching Dohyuk’s movements, Sangjun created wind as if to support him. As the concentrated wind provided thrust like a starting block, Dohyuk was able to approach it faster than usual.
Sangjun created an additional sharp wind. The wind shot just before Dohyuk arrived, piercing its right shoulder. The fairly large body momentarily lost balance and staggered. Normally, he would have taken advantage of that opening to stab the vital point with his dagger.
Dohyuk’s pupils dilated.
Before he knew it, Dohyuk was captivated by the sight of its shoulder. Between the torn shoulder, a broken right clavicle bone was exposed white. Bright red blood poured from the hole.
Dohyuk wavered between thinking this too was an illusion and wondering if Gulkak’s illusions had always been this vivid. To be lost in other thoughts before a monster. It was a mistake he had never made before.
“Esper Choi Dohyuk, snap out of it! What are you doing?”
Sangjun’s urgent cry gripped Dohyuk by the nape. With the feeling of his throat tightening, Dohyuk panted as he readjusted his grip on the dagger. He stared at Junseo’s face, contorted in pain under the bright sunlight. A face paler than usual pleaded in pain. Looking at the moist eyes, Dohyuk eventually doubted again.
What if it’s really him?
Junseo. Yu Junseo. My Guide. Mine, so precious I’m afraid to hold with both hands lest he crumble. He was suffering in pain, bleeding profusely before my eyes. Dohyuk felt like he was endlessly dying.
Something whispered in Dohyuk’s ear.
‘It should be you who gets hurt.’
The plain language pressed down on Dohyuk’s windpipe like a kind of command.
‘You should have protected him to the end.’
‘It’s your fault.’
‘It happened because you let go.’
Junseo approached right before Dohyuk, who was gasping with his throat tightly constricted. Even the direction in which his black eyelashes curved was clearly visible. Moist eyes imprisoned Dohyuk like a cage. Dohyuk meekly complied to the darkness without even bars. Junseo opened his mouth. ‘The important thing is Esper Choi Dohyuk’s heart.’ The parted lips closed. Junseo becomes it again, and it becomes Junseo again. His mind became hazily blurred. It whispered to Dohyuk, moving its dry lips. A voice soft but not muddy, a kind voice.
It was Junseo’s voice.
Although he had said the most important thing was Dohyuk’s heart, Dohyuk thought.
The important thing was Junseo’s wish.
What Junseo wanted.
The moment Junseo wished for something, it naturally became Dohyuk’s heart. Like when the wind blows, the leaves shake, and the waves of shadows engraved by the shaking leaves. Like an ordinary course of nature.
Dohyuk realized belatedly. Ah, it was you. You were my heart.
Dohyuk willingly dropped his dagger.
Kwajik.
Then came the sound of something being horribly crushed.
