# Chapter 22
At first, I naturally thought the problem was with the guiding itself. That the guiding from an S-class Guide with a high matching rate had felt incredibly good. But recently, a different thought has been surfacing.
The medium wasn’t the guiding, but Yu Junseo. Through Junseo, Dohyuk was easily influenced by fragments of the past and became aroused. Looking at that face, so pure it was matchless, made him want to protect him endlessly, and strange fantasies continuously followed one after another.
The most unbearable thing was Junseo’s gentle tone that occasionally emerged with syllables breaking in a peculiar way at the end of his sentences. A voice that tickled his ears just by listening, as sweet as if filled with sugar yet extremely languid. As that voice floated into his mind, his body—which had lost its heat to cold water—easily heated up again as if nothing had happened.
Dohyuk sighed. How could he receive proper guiding from Junseo with a body like this? It was obvious he’d end up panting like a beast and making a disgraceful spectacle of himself again. If only he had lived enjoying guiding like other Espers, he would have been less perplexed.
Having never experienced arousal because of someone else before, Dohyuk found each day lately unbearably embarrassing. Discomfort aside, it was also disrespectful to others. Besides, no matter how much of an Esper he was, what Guide would be pleased to know a dark-looking man was aroused by them? Fear washed over him that if discovered, he would immediately face contempt.
Although he thought he didn’t mind being disliked by others, just imagining Junseo staring at him with a cold gaze made a corner of his heart grow chillingly cold.
Dohyuk, who had been lying in bed, raised his upper body with a dying expression. Sitting on the edge of the bed after removing the thick blanket that had been covering him, he leaned his back against the hard wall. Each time he moved, the muscles of his bare upper body twitched threateningly. It was a body that looked solid even to the eye. Not a body inflated and cultivated through hobbies, but one where each muscle gave a strong impression of being connected to a lifeline. The scar that ran lengthwise across his waist was partially hidden as he leaned against the wall.
With his head tilted halfway back, Dohyuk tightly shut his eyes full of fatigue. This was all because of desire that had piled up, abandoned in a corner. It would get much better if he released it a few times. As if brainwashing himself, he hastily pushed his hand inside his drawers.
***
“What’s wrong with your face? You look really terrible.”
Even Park Seungmin, who had barely been in contact since sulking after the ‘Yu Junseo Choi Dohyuk informal speech incident,’ was worried enough to ask, showing just how awful Dohyuk’s face looked. Dohyuk shook his head at Seungmin with a deathly pale face. His reddish-brown hair was especially disheveled today. Dohyuk’s body, not yet changed into combat uniform, was covered in a white shirt and navy coat. The single coat was long enough to overwhelm the wearer if worn incorrectly, but thanks to Dohyuk’s elongated frame, it suited him as if tailored.
“…I’ve been a bit tired lately.”
Unable to admit that his energy was depleted from satisfying his urges several times last night, Dohyuk responded with a pale face. In truth, more than physical stamina, the fatigue stemming from self-loathing was much greater.
“Keep being that tired and you’ll end up in intensive care. Don’t tell me you’re hunting today too?”
“No.”
“That’s a relief. If you’d said you were going hunting, I would’ve stopped you.”
The conversation continued with trivial talk after that. Though he hadn’t been at work long, Dohyuk already felt suffocated and undid a button on his shirt before casually bringing up a topic with Seungmin.
“Park Seungmin. Seah was asking me to buy her a meal. Do you have lunch plans today?”
“No, Esper Choi Dohyuk-nim. Buy me one too.”
Glancing sideways in case Seungmin might stiffen his face again and retort, ‘Why would I eat with a sucker like you?’ Dohyuk found Seungmin instead joking around with an incomparably servile tone. He was an unpredictable guy. Then again, unlike a high-ranking Esper who earned large sums, Seungmin did like meals bought by others.
“You make more than me, yet you love getting free food that much.”
“At my age, I should be giving my parents an allowance, so what can I expect? So what are you buying?”
“I don’t know. Whatever Seah wants to eat. She mentioned some famous cheese hell dakgalbi or something that she wanted to try.”
Seah couldn’t resist spicy food, and Dohyuk also preferred foods with strong flavors, so the two had somewhat matching tastes. The problem was that Seungmin had a bland palate. Sure enough, Seungmin, who had been wearing a smirking expression, immediately frowned and grumbled.
“Hell? She thinks anything spicy is delicious. Get me five portions of children’s tonkatsu.”
“If you can’t eat it, just don’t come.”
“I don’t want to. Are you two trying to go without me? That’s lonely.”
Dohyuk roughly pushed away the body that was deliberately sticking to him to make a point.
“Why are you being so gross?”
“Esper Choi Dohyuk-nim, are you especially sensitive today?”
“…What do you mean?”
Seungmin observed Dohyuk with a questioning expression.
“Do you have something troubling you?”
“What trouble would I have.”
Dohyuk, who had kept his mouth firmly shut, soon cautiously broached a subject. The neckline revealed by the unfastened button looked particularly rough today. When Dohyuk swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbed once.
“But Park Seungmin, have you ever…”
When Dohyuk stopped talking and remained silent no matter how long Seungmin waited for him to continue, Seungmin impatiently urged him on.
“Ever what? Why do you cut off your words in the middle, you jerk? It’s so frustrating.”
“…I mean, have you ever felt it while receiving guiding?”
And Dohyuk immediately regretted it because Seungmin burst into hysterical laughter. After laughing for a while, Seungmin groaned as if his waist hurt.
“Hnngh… Suddenly what’s with the sex ed consultation? Didn’t you complete the ‘Guiding and Sex’ course with me at the center? Why, did you get super turned on during guiding, Esper Choi Dohyuk-nim? This bastard. I thought you were a stone Buddha, but I guess not. Your expression is so rotten, I actually worried something serious had happened, and your hyung was needlessly concerned.”
Looking at Seungmin who was gleefully being snarky, Dohyuk mercilessly tousled his own hair.
“No. Don’t laugh. The other person could find it unpleasant, you know. If you suddenly get excited in front of them.”
“What’s wrong with getting excited during guiding? Guides are used to it too. Honestly, some secretly hook up with Guides and roll around. If you have a go in the guiding room, clean up properly afterward. The guiding room manager really hates it. Not cleaning that up.”
“……”
“Brat, you’re suddenly cute. So cute.”
Dohyuk forcefully pushed away Seungmin’s hand, which was standing on tiptoes and ruthlessly tousling his hair. Ignoring Seungmin, who let out a gruff “Eeeng, that’s mean,” Dohyuk recited his schedule.
“It was my mistake to tell you. Anyway, I’ll have to eat lunch a bit late. Around 2? I need to go to the lab now. I’ll probably be back before 3.”
“Whatever. You’re the strange one for being shocked about getting a little turned on during guiding at this age while living as an Esper. But are you going to the lab more frequently these days?”
At Seungmin’s words, Dohyuk just lightly shrugged his shoulders as if he didn’t know the reason himself. The meaningless conversation continued a bit longer. After leaving with a final word that he’d contact him around 2:30, Seungmin headed to his personal room. Dohyuk, who waved goodbye to Seungmin, unconsciously checked his phone.
It was a recently developed habit.
As half-expected, when Dohyuk checked his phone, there were two messages from Junseo.
Don’t Guides have more work than expected? Dohyuk thought suspiciously as he stared at his phone.
Junseo often messaged Dohyuk during work hours. He would send gift certificates for the cafe next to the headquarters building or say “Hang in there today,” but mostly he asked to have meals together.
S-class Guide Yu Junseo:
Let’s eat lunch today.
I’ll buy you something delicious!
Same as always today too.
Dohyuk, who had never wanted to eat together with a workplace colleague three years older than him that much even if they were close like brothers, sometimes found this Junseo fascinating. How difficult must it have been for someone so affectionate after suddenly awakening and being forced to report to work? The thought made him feel sympathy.
From what he’d heard, Junseo was still attending university. Leaving behind close university friends and being dragged to an unfamiliar headquarters.
Since higher-ranked ability users have almost fixed futures and are obligated to receive education at ability development centers, most D-class and above typically don’t attend university. Even within the headquarters, ability users who work as researchers are rare, and those who attended university can be counted on fingers. Similarly, Dohyuk’s highest education was a high school equivalency diploma.
But Junseo was different. Not awakening at 17, he naturally thought he was an ordinary person and planned his future accordingly. Then, after moving toward his dreamed future until he was twenty-two, he was suddenly held back. Junseo’s face looked quite melancholy when he talked about it, so Dohyuk had comforted him. How great must his sense of deprivation be? Moreover, he was currently in a situation where he couldn’t even properly grasp his sense as a Guide.
I should at least treat him well.
Normally his thoughts would have stopped there, but today even reading Junseo’s messages made Dohyuk a bit uncomfortable. It was the aftermath of last night. Dohyuk rolled his rough tongue to refresh his palate and typed a reply while fumbling with his phone keypad.
Choi Dohyuk:
Sorry. I already have plans today.
