The countless concubines continued to change faces every other day even after Sanwol entered the palace. Deaths, expulsions, and confinement to the cold palace happened as a matter of course, and the vacancies created were filled anew with other court ladies who received favor. This was why the selection decree was issued every five years.
Sanwol, who had received favor solely through her appearance without any backing, could only lower herself and rely on the occasional affection the Emperor bestowed. Though she had been far from lewd things, by the time she came to her senses, she was already in a state where orally pleasuring the jade stem was nothing much.
The Emperor, who emphasized fun in sexual matters, preferred unusual things if possible. Sometimes she opened her anus like a male consort to receive the Emperor, and other times she shared the bed with a male consort he kept, the three of them together.
Though she had lied to her parents that she hadn’t attended the Emperor’s bedchamber since becoming pregnant, it wasn’t true. Sanwol had been called to the Emperor’s bed several more times after becoming pregnant. The Emperor asked her opinion about doing it with a male consort, the three of them.
Even though he said if she didn’t want it he wouldn’t force her so answer comfortably, if Sanwol refused, her place would be taken by another concubine. Not wanting that, Sanwol had agreed to the proposal.
Having seen through several instances of bedding how harshly the Emperor treated male consorts, Sanwol found her current situation where she couldn’t stop anything pathetic and disgusting.
“Orabeoni.”
When Sanwol gently grasped Sansan’s hand on the table and called softly, Sansan shifted his two eyes still brimming with tears to his younger sister.
“Were you very embarrassed?”
“……Mm-hm.”
“What was embarrassing?”
“Just, I’m a, a eunuch, and in front of strangers, and also……”
“Also?”
“……A long time ago you, Wol, you said that kind of thing is only shown to each other with the person who becomes one’s sp-spouse later.”
She had said that. It was a story from over ten years ago.
Sansan at the time, who didn’t understand why he had to endure uncomfortable and stuffy things, would throw off his clothes when hot whether others were present or not. Even though he’d get beaten by Mother for it, he couldn’t help it.
Not wanting to see her brother get beaten by Mother, Sanwol had sat such a Sansan down and taught him that repeatedly, many times. Not until he understood, but just until he memorized it.
“You remembered all those words……”
Sanwol spoke as if sighing. Having taught it herself, now having to say something different—her mouth simply wouldn’t open.
“Yeah. I, I remember everything you taught me, Wol. I try to.”
“……But, orabeoni.”
“Yeah.”
“Usually that’s true, but there are exceptions.”
“Exceptions?”
“Yeah, like today……”
Even after starting, continuing the words was difficult, so Sanwol unknowingly put strength into the hand holding Sansan. Though the hand gripped tightly hurt, Sansan waited silently. The one who always taught and led was Sanwol, and the one who had to learn was Sansan.
“If His Majesty wants it.”
Sanwol said the same thing as Mother.
“……What would His Majesty want from me?”
In truth, he’d wanted to ask since Mother repeatedly entreated him. What could there be that His Imperial Majesty the Emperor, master of all under heaven, would want from a lowly person who was both an idiot and a eunuch like him? No matter how much he thought, there didn’t seem to be such a thing.
“……Orabeoni is also an adult now, so you know that when a man and woman marry, they naturally share a bed, right?”
At the sudden question, Sansan’s earlobes turned slightly red. He answered “Yes” in a voice as small as an ant.
For some reason, Sansan was much slower in that area than others. Just because he was an idiot, how could he not have such curiosity? That wasn’t the reason. He simply had never felt such strange feelings themselves. Until turning twenty-five, he had never even experienced a wet dream, let alone masturbation.
However, he had something like expectations about meeting a kind and good-hearted wife and forming a family together. Perhaps because of that, thinking of the partner he’d someday meet made his ears redden unknowingly. That was the entirety of the heterosexual feelings he knew.
Knowing this, Sanwol squeezed her eyes completely shut at her brother’s seemingly embarrassed answer. She herself was suffering too. It felt like becoming a lightning-cursed madam putting forth a child who knew nothing as a man’s plaything. Moreover, that man was her own husband.
“When sharing a bed, you know you have to remove everything below like earlier, right?”
“……Yeah.”
“His Majesty asking you to show him your bottom was probably because he wants to share that bed with you, orabeoni.”
“……”
“……If His Majesty tells you to share a bed with him, even if not a spouse, you must follow that will, orabeoni.”
“Why?”
“All people are His Majesty’s subjects, I said. Remember?”
“Yeah.”
“Because you’re a subject. If he commands, you must follow.”
“……I mean, why does His Majesty want to sh-share a bed with me? Sharing beds is something married couples do. His Majesty is your husband, Wol, so why with me who’s your brother,”
“Because he’s the Son of Heaven. The Son of Heaven can do that with anyone. Even if not husband and wife.”
Sanwol was about to say that strictly speaking, she herself wasn’t in a marital relationship with His Majesty either, then stopped. It was a story beyond what her brother could understand, and spitting out that fact with her own mouth was also miserable.
“……But what if I don’t want to?”
“You must not dare say you don’t want to to His Majesty. If by mistake you say you don’t want to, then,”
“Then?”
“Not only you, orabeoni, but me too…… And all the other family members would find it hard to be safe. Perhaps even this baby in my belly.”
Sanwol unknowingly stroked her belly once. Eventually, a tear dropped from her eyes.
Though the current Emperor hadn’t yet had such a precedent, the ends of those who refused favor since ancient times were terrible. In severe cases three generations were exterminated, and there were cases where entire families fell to slavery and were sent here and there. The best case was confinement or exile, so what could be done?
“……Just, just get naked and sleep together, is that all?”
Sansan asked in a deflated voice.
Wouldn’t it be better to send him to the Gyeongsabang? Sanwol agonized briefly. Then she gritted her teeth and shook her head. She couldn’t send her brother to such a place. Knowing what kind of state he’d be seen in.
“If you take off your clothes and lie down obediently, His Majesty will take care of it himself. You absolutely must not touch His Majesty’s jade body with your hands. Remember what Mother said earlier? Close your eyes tight and stay still……”
“Like counting sheep when you can’t sleep?”
“……Mm-hm. If you endure like that, it’ll all end. It might, hurt a little. But you have to endure. Can you do it?”
That was the best Sanwol could teach. Sansan nodded while sniffling. Then his eyes widened at a sudden thought and he urgently asked Sanwol.
“Wol, aren’t you upset even so?”
Affection between husband and wife was still a difficult emotion for Sansan. However, if it were Sansan, he thought he’d be upset if his wife undressed and slept with someone else. That’s why he asked, but Sanwol suddenly hung her head down low. After a while, she answered in a low voice.
“……I’m okay.”
Her own feelings and such weren’t important, but afraid her brother would cry if she said that, Sanwol lied.
Feeling somehow unsettled, Sansan wanted to ask again if it was true, but seeing Sanwol lift her head and smile with effort, he swallowed his words. That smiling face looked very weary. Sansan repeatedly reminded himself that right now, a child was inside his younger sister’s belly.
Thinking he’d have to show his bare lower body completely naked again made him want to die, but what could he do when the whole family would be punished?
He’d endure while counting sheep, right? Then it would all pass.
Still, Sansan thought inwardly that at least being able to see his sister’s face for a few more days was truly good.
***
Meanwhile, the Emperor, who had haphazardly installed Sansan in Yeongnyeong Palace, couldn’t stop muttering to himself the entire time he reviewed memorials at Hongdeokjeon Hall of Geoncheonggung Palace.
The officials from the Imperial Clan Court and the Six Ministries who were waiting to submit memorials at the afternoon audience were merely bewildered, not knowing what was going on, and only Head Eunuch Han who attended the Emperor closely and the imperial guards were trying to fathom his thoughts.
“I did see such a thing for the first time.”
“……”
“Pale and quite plump yet straight in shape……”
The size that would fit snugly in his palm couldn’t be said to be large, but it wasn’t baby-small either and looked like it would be nice to touch. The Emperor put down the memorial altogether and clenched and unclenched his palm, recalling Sansan’s lower body he’d seen a few shichen ago.
Footnote:
Gyeongsabang (경사방) – Bureau under Internal Affairs that handles Emperor’s bedchamber attendance
Hongdeokjeon/Hongdeokjeon Hall (홍덕전) – Hall on the west side of Geoncheonggung Palace
