“Since he can’t conceive anyway, don’t remove it and just leave it.”
The Emperor was cautious in choosing which women would bear his seed. He appropriately considered the status and families of his concubines, bestowed his seed when necessary, and never had more than one child with a single concubine. When he didn’t intend to have an imperial grandson, he had Eunuch Lee scrape out the insides, wash them thoroughly, then feed them yulmu for a month.
It was the same when he held male favorites. In fact, when bedding male favorites, it was extremely rare to ejaculate inside, but on the occasional day he did, he had them given an enema. This was due to concern that the Emperor’s dragon essence might be smuggled out of the palace.
He was making many exceptional actions toward Sansan in various ways, but the Emperor didn’t realize it. He was simply bothered by the thought of giving an enema since Sansan’s lower half, covered in blood, looked extremely painful, and on the other hand, he didn’t dislike seeing his seed flowing out through that hole.
“You look like you’re in pain.”
“……”
“Someone. Take Yoon Sansan, have him bathed, and call the royal physician to treat him with utmost care. And I bestow twenty gold yuanbao and twenty silver yuanbao for household use, twenty bolts of silk, one case of coral ornaments and one case of pearl ornaments presented as tribute from the Wu Kingdom. Also, to nourish his body, I shall bestow chicken, duck, wild boar, and deer meat, so take care to look after him morning and evening so he may recover quickly. Also select fresh lychees, Hami melons, pomegranates, and grapes to present, and since he seems to like gwapyeon, make various kinds of those to present as well.”
The Emperor’s commands were endless. Though he occasionally bestowed treasures and delicacies on concubines as congratulations after their first bedding or when they conceived, he had never bestowed so lavishly. At the very least, there had never been such a thing for male favorites.
What happened to his bold declaration that he would find a match and have him leave the palace? To use up twenty gold yuanbao and twenty silver yuanbao for household expenses in the palace would be difficult even until death.
“Yes, Your Majesty. We will keep this in mind and carry it out.”
However, the senior eunuch and all the other palace servants knelt and received the command without showing any reaction. Only Sansan became more miserable and sniffled loudly.
Seeing Sansan who rudely didn’t even reply nor knew how to express thanks, the Emperor clicked his tongue in displeasure, but decided to leave him alone without scolding since he looked extremely painful.
The Emperor, who had the traces of lovemaking wiped from his body with a towel by a court lady’s hands, immersed himself in the bath prepared on time by Hondangsa and relieved the fatigue from the long night of passion.
Meanwhile, Eunuch Lee carried Sansan on his back to the opposite bedroom. Though he usually had subordinates do physical labor, this cunning snake who instinctively sensed where the Emperor’s heart lay was moving personally for once, reading the Emperor’s mood.
Sansan was led by the hands of Eunuch Lee, Yeongchae, and palace servants from Hondangsa to wash away the Emperor’s traces. However, the swelling, bruises, scars, and hickeys—not a single thing could be completely washed away.
***
Sansan was in pain. His beaten face and torn hole, the skin that had been scraped and bumped everywhere when caught while running away, his pelvis that felt like it had been split from being spread the entire time, and even his perineum that was severely scraped from being ground against the Emperor’s pubic hair. Even his genitals were red and raw from the Emperor gripping and rubbing them so roughly, making them sting.
But the place that hurt more than anything was his heart. Sansan’s heart was in agony. He had done with his younger sister’s husband the act she would have done when conceiving her baby. Not even knowing what it was, he had told his younger sister he would do it.
Though he didn’t know why, he knew all those acts were harassment and violence. They were moments when his body was not his own.
He had thought he couldn’t be a brother-in-law, but the man he had secretly considered a brother-in-law in his heart had insulted him. That insult was also an insult toward Sanwol, who carried the Emperor’s child.
Unable to overcome his agony, Sansan cried until he finally collapsed into sleep like fainting when Sashi arrived. His fever burned fiercely, so Yeongchae changed the wet towel on his forehead several times while watching over him.
Sanwol came to see that Sansan when it was just passing from Sashi to Oshi. Having personally made rice gruel, she watched Sansan, who slept without regaining consciousness, and quietly kept vigil at his bedside until he woke.
Hearing him moan in pain while unconsciously muttering “I’m sorry” and “I was wrong,” Sanwol bit her own lip. It was because she was afraid she might sob aloud without realizing it.
Forcing strength into her eyes, she took out the damask handkerchief she carried in her bosom and wiped the cold sweat that had formed on her older brother’s forehead. Time passed quietly like that.
Being alone together in the darkened bedchamber with the light blocked out, Sanwol suddenly thought of her childhood. Seeing her older brother lying there without a single healthy spot on his body made her think even more of that.
When she was young, she had been annoyed by her older brother who was different from others. When he screamed knowing he would be beaten and inevitably got thrashed, the task of nursing him fell solely to young Sanwol. There was no servant who would voluntarily brew medicine that the masters hadn’t ordered. It was bothersome and irritating, but she couldn’t bring herself to ignore her blood relative who was gasping for breath.
When he wasn’t in pain, he was exactly like a beast. He couldn’t understand what people said, ran around frantically, couldn’t focus when others were speaking and just rolled his eyes constantly. He would repeat what was already said, and even after repeating it, he only remembered one or two things. It was utterly frustrating.
Nevertheless—
When she was beaten by their mother and crying, only her older brother cried with her. When he happened to get something delicious, the only one who wouldn’t eat it but hid it away to give to her was her older brother.
She couldn’t hate her older brother who thought his word was law and just kept nodding. Her heart felt bad seeing him looked down upon by others, so she constantly taught him, disciplined him, and looked after him. Even though they had a father and mother, the only ones who could be called family to each other were the two of them.
She had wanted to marry a kind commoner and live relying on each other until the day they died. The reason she had cried so much on the day she entered the palace was partly from fear, but also largely because she was deeply worried about the older brother she had to leave behind. It was obvious that if she disappeared too, he would become completely unwanted in the household.
But even so, it would have been better than ending up in this state. In the end, Sanwol couldn’t hold back any longer and shed tears, then quickly turned her head to the side and wiped the teardrops with her fingertips.
Before being elevated to the rank of Bin, Sanwol had resided in Dongbaejeon of Manin Palace. Manin Palace was the residence of the deceased Silver Concubine.
Silver Concubine had entered as a selected concubine when the Emperor was Crown Prince, but she was older than the Emperor and repeatedly gave birth to stillborns. During the period when Sanwol had entered the palace, she was in a position where it was difficult to receive the Emperor’s summons even twice a year.
When a concubine served the Emperor’s bedding, it was imperial palace law that the next morning she had to go pay her respects to the Empress and to the senior concubine residing in the same palace. Since the Empress’s position was vacant, Sanwol only needed to pay her respects to Silver Concubine. Each time, Silver Concubine always greeted Sanwol with reddened eyes.
Though Sanwol loved the Emperor dearly, she had never shed tears because the Emperor spent the night with another concubine, so she found such a Silver Concubine uncomfortable. Wasn’t sharing the Emperor the destiny of the imperial consorts and concubines?
However, last night, Sanwol could finally understand a little of the heart of Silver Concubine, who was now dead.
Having to silently endure her husband sharing intimacy with another in the same palace building was an affair that embroidered her heart with agony. Moreover, when that partner was her own older brother.
She simply couldn’t fall asleep. It felt like a thousand fires burned inside her, and her heart was crushed. When she imagined the two of them, it was just like entering the fires of hell naked.
But was it truly lovemaking for her older brother as well? Last night, what had flowed into her bedchamber through the quiet silence was only her older brother’s desperate screams. Not for a single moment did sounds of pleasure come through. Her older brother’s current wretched state proved this.
He looked like he’d been violated by some thug somewhere. Sanwol once again gritted her teeth and swallowed her tears. To calm herself, she kept unnecessarily stroking her older brother’s forehead wet with cold sweat.
***
When Mishi came, Sansan finally opened his eyes. As soon as he opened his eyes and saw Sanwol’s face, he immediately burst into tears. However, his throat was completely hoarse, so no proper sound came out.
“…If you keep crying, it will harm your body.”
Sanwol reached out her hand and carefully wiped Sansan’s wet cheeks. Sansan buried his face in Sanwol’s soft palm.
“Wol-ah, heuuk, Wol-aah…”
“…Orabeoni. I’m sorry. I’m, I’m so sorry.”
Sanwol couldn’t even bring herself to ask if it hurt a lot and swallowed the question. After crying for a while, Sansan soon opened his mouth while whimpering.
“Heueup, kkeueuk, I-I’ve slept now, so I can leave the palace, right? Right?”
Footnote:
Taels (냥) – Unit of weight/currency
Bin (빈) – Concubine rank
Damask (능단) – Type of silk fabric
Rice Gruel (미음) – Watery rice porridge
Enema (관장) – Medical cleansing procedure
Dragon Essence (용정) – Emperor’s semen/essence
Yulmu (율무) – Job’s tears grain (causes uterine contractions)
Oshi (오시) – Time period 11AM-1PM
Sashi (사시) – Time period 9AM-11AM
Manin Palace (만인궁) – Palace residence
