Herick fidgeted with the sleeping pills. Though he’d been taking them habitually, this time he had doubts. It’s not like taking these will free me from nightmares anyway.
Should I stop now?
After pondering with a serious face, he soon mocked himself. The idea of finding courage now seemed utterly ridiculous. He tried to empty three pills into his mouth as usual, but somehow couldn’t open his fist that held them.
Do I want to believe I can escape from nightmares? And overnight, at that? Herick threw the pills away irritably.
The guilt he’d felt toward family members he’d never seen was gone. Unbelievably, without a trace. The trauma that had tormented Herick for years had vanished with just a few words from Hyungoh.
So futilely.
It wasn’t good. Not good at all. The boulder of guilt that had been embedded inside him, boasting a massive area, had disappeared. That boulder had been supporting small stones and pebbles, which had firmly held their places and solidified over many years.
So it was like an empty cave had been created.
Nothing could fill that space. It was impossible. The precarious stones and pebbles would inevitably collapse into the cave. Chaos would be heaped upon chaos, rotting the existing order and ruining everything.
Rather than this, I’d prefer suffering from nightmares. Herick bent over with a groan. Why do you torment me to the end, Choi?
“Hey, Herick.”
Theo barged in, forcefully opening the door without knocking. Herick, startled, glared at him.
“Your ways of picking fights have become quite diverse, Theo.”
“Are you still taking sleeping pills?”
“Why do you ask?”
“I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately.”
Theo, who had made this half-hearted excuse, spotted the pill bottle on the bed. I’ll borrow some. As Theo reached out, Herick batted his hand away.
“What’s your angle?”
“What angle? I just can’t sleep.”
“You’ve always disapproved of my pill-taking, but your attitude changes so easily just because you can’t sleep?”
“You practically live on these things at dangerous levels. I didn’t want to clean up your corpse, you weakling.”
“You, of all people, worried about me?”
“Worried? If you died quietly somewhere far away, I wouldn’t say a word.”
Theo snatched the pill bottle after tapping Herick’s head. Though it was just a light touch, Theo’s hand was so heavy that it made Herick dizzy.
Herick suddenly recalled Hyungoh’s words.
Michael isn’t the only one by Herick’s side.
That line surfacing again. Herick, twitching his eyebrows, was about to follow Theo who had gone outside when he stepped on the pills that had fallen to the floor. The crushed pills stuck to his shoes and scratched the floor. After staring blankly at the white powder for a moment, Herick laughed incredulously.
“I still don’t like it.”
Herick muttered, throwing himself onto the bed with his arms crossed. Lying still felt strange.
I’m being too swayed. Anyone could come up with such glossy words disguised as sincerity. So why am I being moved by his words?
After seriously pondering for a moment, Herick soon wrinkled his face. How tedious. Even thinking like this now is proof that I’m being swayed.
Herick closed his eyes. Though he couldn’t shake off distracting thoughts, he still tried to force himself to sleep. Herick, gripping the blanket tightly, furrowed his brow. Despite the situation being sufficiently uncomfortable and stifling, Herick couldn’t fall asleep until the end due to the seeping lightness. In the end, he could only make excuses to himself that it was because Theo had taken the sleeping pills.
* * *
“Hey, Hyungoh. Wake up and drink some water.”
Theo, who had noisily rushed into the room, offered Hyungoh a cup of water. Hyungoh, who had been looking down at the cup with a bit of steam, indicating warm water, slowly accepted it.
“I drank some earlier.”
“Drink more.”
Hyungoh, who seemed reluctant and didn’t answer, soon obediently drank, lacking the energy to refuse. Drink it all, that’s right. Theo, who had received the empty cup back, nodded with a satisfied face. It would be easier to start after putting this guy to sleep.
Hyungoh asked Theo, who seemed eager to go outside again:
“Where are you going?”
“To grant your request.”
“You said it was dangerous.”
“There’s never been a time living here that wasn’t dangerous.”
“Just forget it. I was being too selfish.”
Hyungoh weakly rubbed his forehead. I think I made an unreasonable request because I was too confused. I’m sorry. At Hyungoh’s words, which seemed to renounce everything, Theo paused.
“Then what will you do now?”
“I don’t think it matters what happens.”
“Don’t be so boring, Hyungoh.”
“Honestly, it’s true. It was just grasping at straws, Theo. How could I escape from here by any means?”
Theo, who had frowned, approached Hyungoh with large strides.
“Are you going to keep saying things that aren’t like you?”
“What is ‘like me’? Spouting nonsense and causing trouble for people around me?”
“Just go to sleep. If you say anything more, I’ll knock you out forcefully.”
Theo felt complicated about Hyungoh’s repeatedly changed demeanor. Why does he keep catching my eye by acting like this? Saying weak things. Where did that gutsy nature go?
Theo forcibly laid down Hyungoh, whose eyes were beginning to glaze over. Hyungoh, who let out a small groan of pain from his solar plexus being pressed by Theo’s hand, soon fell asleep. After confirming Hyungoh’s rattling breath, Theo turned away.
Coming out to the living room, Theo found Marsha sitting deathly still on a dining chair. Her exposed upper body was tightly wrapped in bandages around her shoulder and chest. Theo clicked his tongue at the sight of her nodding off, tilting her head slightly. So this woman has a human side too.
Herick was trying to sleep in a room on the first floor, and Marsha was dozing in the living room with a worn-out appearance. Perfect timing. Theo bounded up the stairs, taking two or three steps at a time, showing off his long legs.
“Theodore Cooper.”
Michael called out to Theo as he entered the room, as if he had expected him.
“Life is so enjoyable, isn’t it?”
Theo sneered when he found a smile on Michael’s face.
“Hunter won’t accept your feelings.”
“…”
“So it’s ridiculous for you to be jealous of me.”
“Right, that’s why Herick couldn’t come to his senses all this time, because you were blabbering like this.”
I acknowledge your cunning. Theo approached Michael with delinquent steps. Michael slapped away Theo’s hand that was about to grab his collar and snapped:
“Hunter didn’t kill your father.”
“Oh please, then who did? Did you kill him?”
Why should I be grateful? Should I repay you? Theo, who had covered Michael’s mouth with his large hand as he was about to continue, threatened him.
“From now on, swallow your bullshit. No one wants to hear it.”
Michael, who had opened his eyes wide, faced Theo. Soon, after knocking away Theo’s hand, Michael asked:
“So you came to fight me?”
“Did you think I came to chat with you?”
You’re supposed to be so strong. Theo looked down at Michael as if he were pathetic.
In fact, Theo found Michael intriguing. Just moments ago, Michael had easily escaped from his grasp. Despite having a body that looked like it would break with the slightest touch. Theo carefully observed Michael’s eyes that transformed frighteningly.
“Still, you can’t beat me.”
Theo grinned. Michael, with an expressionless face, threw a folding chair at Theo. Theo leisurely extended his foot to kick the chair away. Is that all? When Theo provoked him, Michael this time pushed a wardrobe with his foot, toppling it toward Theo.
“Yes, it would be surprising to others. A small runt knocking around furniture that even adults would struggle with.”
Theo, who had easily jumped over the fallen chair and avoided the wardrobe, muttered. By now, his eyes had become as fierce as Michael’s.
“I used to be like that too.”
Theo, who had lunged forward, grabbed Michael by the nape. Michael, whose head hit the window, continued to glare at Theo without any change in expression.
“You killed your father.”
“What? Me?”
Theo snorted.
“Hey Ghost, don’t you ever get tired of pretending to know everything?”
“You know it too.”
“Of course I know. Even incompetent police searched every corner of the neighborhood to find the suspect. Do you know who gave them money and sent them away? It was Hunter.”
And you still say I’m the one who killed my father? Theo asked incredulously.
Michael, who had been quietly listening to him, burst into laughter. Theo frowned at the growing sound of laughter. Is he crazy?
“Your father was alive. Until you stood blankly in front of the door for five hours, abandoning your father who was struggling to survive.”
Theo’s body stiffened.
“A psychopath? No. Everyone in this area hated your father, so he deserved to die, everyone would be comfortable if he died, they wouldn’t have to suffer anymore.”
Michael’s voice, mixed with laughter, choked Theo.
“Guilt? You don’t need to feel that. It’s a common occurrence here. It’s not strange. Everyone’s familiar with this kind of thing, right? It was an unavoidable choice for survival.”
Michael spoke deliberately. Theo, eyes bulging, lifted Michael’s body and hit him against the window. With a dull sound, the window flew open.
“You envy Choi’s morality, unlike your mental world that was damaged from the start, Choi is righteous and unwavering, that’s why you follow him so well. To feel like you’ve become a normal person who doesn’t harm others, not a psychopath who neglected his father’s death. But that doesn’t make your past disappear.”
The men in black suits, who had discovered Michael dangling in the air, supported only by Theo’s arm, began to gather in alarm. Theo, who glanced at the men moving in unison to prevent Michael from falling, gradually released his grip.
“I’m different from the weak Herick who was swayed by your words.”
The men eagerly peered to identify the owner of the arm holding Michael. However, Theo was intentionally standing flush against the wall. It would be troublesome if I were caught now. Theo spread his palm wide. Michael’s collar slipped from his hand.
Michael’s eyes, which had been suffocating Theo, finally disappeared from his sight. Theo turned around without any lingering attachment and quickly ran. He faintly heard the men making a commotion behind him.
Regret? Who would even blink an eye at such nonsense? Theo kicked open the front door and ran out, taking advantage of the men who were guarding the main entrance rushing to the back door.
His heart beat rapidly. Like back then, no, even more passionately. The exhilaration he had been deliberately ignoring seemed to explode now. The feeling he had first experienced when he silently watched his father crawling like a dog and trembling at his feet was still consuming Theo.
