“You want to go back to Korea?”
Theo asked as if dumbfounded. After nearly dying, what a sudden thing to say. Hyungoh forced down the water Theo handed him and tried to cool his head.
“Are you serious?”
“I’m not joking.”
“But why?”
Is it because of that Ghost bastard? Was he the one who pushed you into the lake? As Theo pressed for answers, Hyungoh grimaced as if in pain.
His trembling hands accidentally dropped the cup. Hyungoh stared blankly at his soaked pants, his eyes unfocused to an unfamiliar degree. He must have been quite shocked. Theo shook his head.
“Pull yourself together. If you keep spacing out like that, you’ll get hurt again.”
“I can’t remember.”
“Remember what?”
“There was something important… but I can’t remember it.”
“Huh?”
“But I don’t really want to remember either… I just feel that way. It’s like my mind has gone blank.”
How to describe it? It was both calm and chaotic. He felt depressed from an overwhelming sense of loss, but at the same time, he was somehow relieved. This familiar feeling made him wonder if he had experienced something like this before.
“Man, you’ve lost it.”
Theo pressed his forehead with his hand at the troublesome sight.
“I need a passport.”
“What?”
“And a plane ticket.”
“…Do those just come out of the ground?”
“I’m not joking.”
“Neither am I. It might be calmer than before, but it’s still dangerous outside. Even if you got a passport and ticket, it’s too risky to get to the airport in this situation.”
Theo spoke coldly.
Hyungoh closed his mouth. Theo also held back his words. In the continued silence, only the chattering of men outside filtered through the window.
“I think we can head back soon.”
“No, we need to wait longer. The Underboss is coming personally, after all.”
“Alone? Isn’t that dangerous, considering those guys are targeting him specifically?”
“You think he’d be an Underboss for nothing? I heard he’s bringing an army. Once he arrives, the situation will be resolved.”
“Awesome, as soon as this is over, I’m going home to feed Gloria.”
“Gloria? Your girlfriend?”
“Haha, that’s right. This guy’s dating a dog.”
“Creepy. What kind of person names a dog Gloria?”
“Still better than you, getting horny for just about anyone.”
Theo rolled his eyes as he eavesdropped on their bickering. Mafia guys are nothing special. I thought they’d be more rigid and systematic. They’ve been chattering nonsense like this the whole time.
Suddenly, Theo remembered his father. Gary Cooper. A man who was twisted beyond measure.
Although he belonged to a small gang, ridiculously, he moved to the notorious Caysenderson City, known as a haven for criminals, hoping to be selected by a mafia group. To him, Theo, his only son, was merely a punching bag, but as Theo grew up, the killing intent directed at his father became threatening enough to make him a source of fear.
Theo’s father, who never amounted to more than a petty criminal, was pathetically weak against the strong and strong against the weak, so harassing innocent residents was his daily routine. A typical white supremacist, he would pick fights with Hunter, who lived next door, whenever he got the chance.
To Theo, his father was nothing more and nothing less than human scum. At the young age of seven, he dreamed of revenge, imagining himself growing bigger. Disgusted by his father who would raise his fists, claiming Theo was disrespectful despite having been raised with beatings, he had picked up a kitchen knife several times.
I’ll definitely kill him. That was Theo’s habit of speech. But he never carried it out. Whether fortunate or unfortunate, every time he planned to kill his father, he always ran into Hunter from next door.
Once, with a solemn face, he was about to take a beer bottle rolling on the ground and go into the house when he made eye contact with Hunter, who was sitting in a rocking chair outside.
When Hunter mocked him, saying the bottle wouldn’t be enough, Theo got annoyed and recited “Who do you think you are, an Asian?!” – the same line his father used whenever he picked a fight with Hunter. Hunter burst into laughter as if something was hilarious. That was the first day Theo and Hunter exchanged words.
Then one morning, his father knelt before Hunter and pleaded. Hunter was sipping cocoa in his rocking chair as usual, and his father, his eyes softening from the rumors about Hunter he had heard from neighbors, was begging pathetically, saying he could do well and asking him just to watch.
When Hunter didn’t budge despite all the begging, his father attacked Hunter again with the trite line, “Who do you think you are, an Asian?!” After punching Hunter in the face, his father realized his mistake and fled into the house like a fugitive. Hunter, scratching his hit face, turned his head and made eye contact with Theo.
His gaze was intense. It was a gaze that Theo himself couldn’t compare to. The weight of its ferocity was different from the start. Startled, Theo quickly closed the window of his room, and that night his father was murdered by an intruder who suddenly broke in.
Even when Theo had spent the night running along the streets, holding his forehead that had been cut open by a beer bottle his father had thrown, the police and neighbors who had never shown the slightest interest suddenly rushed to see the news of his father’s death – a man hated by everyone.
Congratulations.
Hunter, who had been casually watching among the police in Theo’s front yard, spotted Theo and mouthed the word.
Theo lowered his head deeply. Hunter approached Theo, who was anxiously darting his eyes around, pushing through the neighbors who were making a fuss. Then he gently stroked Theo’s head.
Don’t worry, you’ll get used to this kind of thing soon.
“Really now.”
Theo let out a hollow laugh, recalling what Hunter had said at that time. Thinking about it again, it was exactly the kind of comfort Hunter would give.
It would have been even more pathetic if he had expressed fake emotions and shown pity. If he had done that, Theo wouldn’t have followed him around like he does now. Theo was certain. It was a sufficiently charming form of comfort.
Wait, so is it my turn now? Theo glanced at Hyungoh. He was still stuttering like a broken machine. It’s understandable after nearly dying, but Theo hadn’t expected Hyungoh to say he wanted to return to Korea.
What should I say? Theo wondered. Should I just say what Hunter did? That there’s nothing to worry about once you get used to this kind of situation?
“Theo, I don’t fit in here.”
“Wh-what?”
Theo reacted as if he had been caught off guard.
“You said it before, Theo. That people like me who can’t adapt have short lifespans and die early.”
Now I see that’s true. Hyungoh muttered.
“That, I didn’t say that to scare you, you know?”
“I know.”
Hyungoh smiled.
“I’m doing this because I understand too well now.”
Theo realized the seriousness of the situation. Hyungoh’s mood had changed. Can someone change so much overnight?
Hyungoh, who had always been eager to solve problems by questioning everything, had become noticeably withdrawn after his submersion in the lake. And he used to say we should help that Ghost guy. Theo swallowed his question. Ah, it was Ghost who pushed Hyungoh into the lake. Is that why he’s acting like this?
“I know I shouldn’t run away like this, but I really can’t stand it anymore. I know how pathetic I am.”
“Why are you even blaming yourself? I get it, so just rest for now.”
“It’s not just once or twice. In the end, I always run away. I want to change too. But looking back, I’ve always been going in circles. I’ve just been stubborn for nothing… After nearly dying, I have no choice but to admit it.”
He felt self-loathing. The image of him sitting next to Michael and smiling at trivial things a few days ago sparkled like a mirage before quickly disappearing.
He felt strange to himself. What was I thinking all this time? In this dangerous city, mixing with dangerous people, believing everything would be okay in dangerous situations. Not just naive, but ignorant too. Hyungoh was going crazy at his own careless judgment.
“The idea that there’s a solution to every problem, what an absurd notion.”
Theo’s face hardened. Hyungoh’s voice was thin as if it might break. Comfort like ‘you’ll be fine once you get used to it’ would only be poison to someone like him.
This guy and I are different. Too different. Theo seriously placed his hand on Hyungoh’s shoulder. He thought about joking around to lift Hyungoh’s spirits a bit, but he couldn’t approach the withdrawn Hyungoh with a light heart.
I never thought I’d be giving such deep consideration for someone else’s sake. Theo shook his head as he looked down at Hyungoh. Somehow, he felt uncomfortable with Hyungoh’s gradually changing demeanor, becoming more negative than before. Perhaps it caught his attention because there had never been anyone around him with such a strong compulsion to live righteously as Hyungoh.
You’ll end up getting shot and dying while running around with useless righteousness.
Theo frowned, recalling his own words to Hyungoh before. Damn. Whether it’s a sense of justice or whatever, he’s really going to get shot and die if he keeps acting like this with a loose screw. After groaning, Theo turned around as if he had made up his mind.
“This is the last time.”
“What?”
“That I’ll help you.”
Hyungoh, who had been staring blankly at Theo’s back, opened his mouth but quickly closed it. After glancing at him, Theo said with his characteristic mischievous smile:
“Don’t get too comfortable though. I’ll make you pay me back later.”
