Chapter 42
Hyungoh hated alcohol.
He used to look down on people who turned to drinking whenever they were sad or going through something difficult. As if that would solve anything. Instead of mustering the willpower to actually deal with their problems, they just wanted to whine about how hard everything was.
He thought it was inconsiderate, too. Drunks would make a scene and then pass out in the most pathetic state imaginable. Why would anyone drink until they couldn’t handle themselves? It just ended up being everyone else’s problem. How selfish.
Hyungoh slapped his own cheek. How selfish indeed.
He’d gotten thoroughly plastered exactly twice now. And this time, he couldn’t remember a damn thing—everything after chugging that bottle of whiskey was just gone.
That’s why he had no idea why the back of his head was throbbing so painfully. Hyungoh was at his wit’s end with his own pathetic behavior. Humans really were foolish creatures, repeating the same mistakes over and over until they bled.
Waking up in an unfamiliar room, Hyungoh tried to get his bearings for a moment before clutching his forehead in another wave of self-loathing. You’re insane, Choi Hyungoh. You’re completely insane!
Had he made a fool of himself? He didn’t throw up, did he? Please, not that. Hyungoh tried to sit up but immediately lay back down. It felt like someone was yanking hard on the back of his head. Why did it hurt so much? Had he fallen while walking? No, this wasn’t the kind of pain you got from something minor like that.
Still, that unsettled feeling he’d had ever since hearing Michael was being hunted by the mafia was gradually fading. Maybe he was getting used to this place. Hyungoh rubbed his face, not sure if that was a good thing or not. At this rate, he might reach a point where he wouldn’t even flinch if someone around him died.
He heard movement from beyond the door. Hyungoh, who had been lying completely still in case someone came in, perked up his ears at the voices drifting through the open window. The irritable, discontented voices sounded exactly like Herick and Theo.
“…ichael is the only one among billions of people who can comfort me.”
What? Is this starting again? Hyungoh cracked his eyes open slightly. Herick’s voice, barely reaching him, was flat and expressionless.
“Romantic? It’s more like a curse.”
Hyungoh couldn’t help but be surprised. Since they were talking about Michael, he’d expected Herick to launch into his usual unconditional praise, but—a curse?
Clutching his pounding head, Hyungoh frowned deeply and concentrated. But the whispered voices gradually faded, swallowed up by the sound of the gentle breeze.
After thinking for a moment, Hyungoh’s expression relaxed. He was starting to get the picture. So Herick was actually aware of how excessive his obsession with Michael was. Someone as smart as Herick must have chosen the word “curse” for a very specific reason.
A curse is something you need to break, isn’t it?
It was surprising enough that he was properly acknowledging the problem, but even more surprising that Herick actually wanted to do something about it. Hyungoh brushed his hand across his lips. This could work out in my favor if I play my cards right.
Hyungoh sat up abruptly, his eyes gleaming. After all, Herick only dislikes me because I’m connected to Michael. If we could just eliminate that obsession, everything would be so much easier. Despite his prickly attitude, he’s definitely someone who could be helpful if we got close.
As he tried to get out of bed, his head spun and he missed his footing. Hyungoh clutched the back of his throbbing head as he fell without a chance to catch himself. Startled by the loud crash, Theo and Herick burst through the door.
And now, alone with Herick, Hyungoh was thinking hard.
“You’re saying your dependence on Michael is like an inescapable curse, right?”
I think I might be able to help you with that. Hyungoh spoke with the most confident expression he could manage. If there’s even a hint of hesitation, it’ll all fall apart. Think about Michael. At first, he was dismissive and guarded just like Herick, wasn’t he? My approach worked with him. So it should work with Herick too. Hyungoh steeled himself.
But Herick didn’t answer. The silence stretched out. His expression didn’t crumple with anger or freeze in shock. It was just cold. A gaze so cold that the hair on Hyungoh’s arms stood on end.
“Don’t underestimate me, Choi.”
Herick’s eyes were filled with arrogance and contempt when he said “Choi.”
“I’m not underestimating you…”
“After eavesdropping like a little rat, you came up with this pathetic scheme while feeling so proud of yourself?”
“Pathetic scheme? I’m just…”
“Shouldn’t you fix that habit of trying to manipulate people whenever you think you’ve found their weakness?”
Herick pressed down hard on Hyungoh’s right shoulder. His nails dug into the wing joint. Ah, he’s still hung up on that time I lied. Hyungoh felt a pang of guilt.
“I just want to be friends with you, Herick.”
“I just want you to disappear from my sight as soon as possible.”
“Hah, Herick. How long are you going to act so childish?”
Hyungoh crossed his arms.
“If I disappear, then what? You’ll freely obsess over Michael? Will you torment anyone else who becomes friends with him? Why do you keep repeating these pointless actions? How long is this going to go on? Forever?”
Are you going to spend your whole life doing everything for Michael, even when you’re an old man? Hyungoh’s tone had shifted to that of a parent scolding a petulant child. Herick, momentarily speechless, let out a scornful laugh.
“Herick needs to live Herick’s life.”
This time, Hyungoh spoke with desperate urgency.
“I don’t see why I should listen to this nonsense from you. Why don’t you try living your own life properly first, Choi?”
“I’m already doing everything I can to live my life properly, Herick—no less than anyone else.”
“Try setting your goals a bit higher. From what I can see, your standard for ‘effort’ seems abnormally low.”
“I have my own standards. I never let myself be swayed by someone else’s incompatible standards. Isn’t that a good thing?”
“Sure, if you want to live isolated from society like other outcasts, trapped in the bizarre delusions of your own making.”
Hyungoh and Herick’s intense gazes clashed in midair.
“Honestly, I don’t even know why we’re fighting.”
What’s wrong with just getting along? Hyungoh sighed.
“Why do you dislike me? It’s simply because of Michael, right? Isn’t it?”
“…”
“It’s all because of jealousy. Think about it—isn’t that childish?”
Herick pulled a chair to the front of the bed and sat down. Hyungoh, who was about to smile brightly thinking Herick was finally willing to talk, froze when he saw the contemptuous gaze that still hadn’t disappeared.
“You tried to take away the only thing I have.”
“I never did that.”
“I suppose not. It wouldn’t be that important to you, would it?”
“…”
Hyungoh fell silent. Facing Herick, who seemed to genuinely resent him, gave him a strange feeling. Wait. This reaction, somehow… Hyungoh asked, half-doubting:
“By ‘the only thing,’ do you mean Michael?”
Herick’s gaze sharpened. Ah, I get it now. Hyungoh stroked his chin with a serious expression.
Obsession and jealousy. The only person he could trust was Michael, and the only person he could depend on was also Michael. Like he said, Michael was Herick’s everything. It was a natural progression, like a three-year-old child seeing their mother as the whole world.
Childish, but pure. What? This is actually a simple problem? I didn’t even need to overthink it. Hyungoh gently broke into a knowing smile.
“Listen, Herick.”
Hyungoh grabbed both of Herick’s hands. As Herick frowned and tried to pull away, Hyungoh hurriedly continued.
“I told you before—I want to get along with you. That wasn’t just empty talk. I’m not trying to take anything away, and I don’t want to. No—Michael isn’t an object to begin with, right? No one can take him away. Not me, not you.”
“…”
“And you don’t just have Michael by your side. Theo would be hurt to hear you say that. On the surface, he might snort and say it’s none of his business, but he was the one who introduced you to me as his ball friend… I mean, his closest friend. You know what that means, right?”
There’s also Marsha, you know. She might be pretty blunt, but she’s so kind—she helped you when you were stumbling. Hyungoh, who had been rambling, closed his mouth for a moment. Hmm, maybe bringing up Marsha was a bit of a stretch.
“So what I’m saying is, don’t be so anxious. We’re still young, aren’t we? We have a bright future ahead. We’ve still got our whole lives to live, so isn’t it a waste to hang everything on just one person?”
Feeling that his final remark about age might have been too forward, he cleared his throat to buy time. What else should I say? While he was pondering, Herick shook off Hyungoh’s hands. Startled, Hyungoh opened his mouth again, clearly intending to go on about the boundless potential that must exist within Herick, but Herick violently clamped his hand over Hyungoh’s mouth.
“What do you know to be talking so much?”
Herick’s chilling voice pierced Hyungoh’s ears. Herick’s hand was gradually applying more pressure. It hurts. Hyungoh grabbed Herick’s wrist while opening and closing his mouth like a fish. His gums felt like they were about to be crushed. What incredible grip strength.
Herick continued in an agitated voice:
“Someone who can’t even handle their own shit is trying to lecture me? What makes you better than me that you’re so confident? Spouting nonsense like you’re some kind of god…”
Suddenly stopping mid-sentence, Herick closed his mouth. His eyes wavered dangerously. Seeing his chance, Hyungoh shook off Herick’s hand.
“What are you doing? I’m saying all this for your own good!”
Hyungoh, tears welling up from the pain in his pressed gums, burst out angrily. What are you staring at? Is this a show? Do you have any idea how much this hurts? The offended Hyungoh was about to snap back by asking if the only things Herick knew how to do when upset were sarcasm and violence, but he hesitated. It was the first time he’d seen Herick look so shaken.
“Herick?”
Herick abruptly stood up and bolted outside. The door, which had slammed open with a loud bang, quickly slammed shut with the same force. Confused by the two consecutive loud crashes, Hyungoh blinked rapidly.
