During that time, I attempted to escape several times, but being confined in a room without even a nightstand, there was no method that worked. The only rebellion I could manage was taking short naps while listening to the sound of the clock’s second hand ticking.
“Get up. You can walk on your own two feet, right?”
Baek Sahyun, who returned to the room in the evening, obediently removed the rope and tape. Perhaps because he went out to get some air, he didn’t have that furious look from before, but he didn’t forget his plan and kindly guided me to the bathroom.
The bathtub water was filled so full that it would overflow if someone got in.
“…Do you find this fun?”
Having no choice but to kneel before it, I gave up on criticism and asked calmly. I didn’t expect a proper answer, but Baek Sahyun unexpectedly responded quite seriously.
“It’s not fun. It’s bothersome and tiring.”
“Then quit. Why are you going this far anyway?”
“That’s for your sake. It’ll end once you, Heejae, just return to normal. Right now you seem suspicious, like you’re possessed by a ghost or something.”
I turned my poorly functioning head to gauge Baek Sahyun’s meaning. So, the purpose is to drive out the ghost that is me for the sake of Nam Heejae who’s experiencing memory confusion? But I could only sneer.
He packaged it as if it were some great friendship, but in the end, his true feelings were pathetic. Baek Sahyun was definitely just throwing a tantrum because he couldn’t manipulate Nam Heejae as he wished.
In any case, for this reason, I came to receive waterboarding—or in Baek Sahyun’s claim, water play. After learning through numerous experiences that I was no match for him in physical strength, I didn’t even have the will to resist. Maybe I still couldn’t properly operate this body yet.
“I’ll increase the time in 10-second increments. 10 seconds, 20 seconds, 30 seconds, and 40 seconds.”
Baek Sahyun held a timer in his hand. I was so wronged that I wanted to fucking smash that bastard’s face just once.
“Starting now. Fighting, Heejae.”
Right. This torture that started like this was already facing the 40-second mark.
❖ ❖ ❖
“Huk, stop, please stop…, haah, I, I was wrong. I get it now. I understand everything!”
Right after the 30-second stage passed, I clung to Baek Sahyun’s pant leg and begged. I tried to endure without fearing death for the sake of my pride, but this was absolutely not at a level a human could handle.
“What do you understand?”
“I, I’m sick. I’m sick and my mind is strange…. I must be possessed by a demon. Sahyun-ah.”
I spoke while slurring my pronunciation. Because my mucous membranes stung, tears flowed day and night. It was an altogether shabby beggar’s appearance, so Baek Sahyun also clicked his tongue and answered.
“Don’t cry. Why are you crying?”
“No, fuck, I’m not crying…”
I tried to correct it somehow, saying these were just tears that naturally burst out due to physical pain, but suddenly my throat choked up. After dying from working myself to the bone, I couldn’t even find peace and was being tortured. In the end, it seemed grief had welled up.
I bit my lips tightly to hold back the rising tears, but it was all useless. I eventually ended up wailing out loud. Even my shoulders trembled.
“Heejae.”
I felt Baek Sahyun’s gaze from behind. Even without turning around, I could tell his anger had reached its peak. However, when I actually turned my head, his complexion was calmer than I thought.
“Look at me.”
“……”
“Hurry.”
Without knowing why, our gazes became entangled stickily. Around the time my attention was stolen by his irises with their glossy exotic color, he lowered his posture and gently grabbed my nape.
“Seeing you cry makes my heart soften.”
The lips colliding was instantaneous.
Something slowly invaded between the overlapping lips. I opened my eyes wide, unable to believe the fact that I was kissing Baek Sahyun. Baek Sahyun lowered his eyelids and twisted the angle of his head.
“Ngh…”
Baek Sahyun’s hand slowly stroked down my tense back and waist. After that, he even readily supported the nape of my neck bending backward. Cool fingers dug into my hair and tickled my scalp.
“St, stop.”
When I murmured taking advantage of the gap where our lips briefly separated, Baek Sahyun smiled with his eyes as if acting cute. Even knowing he was a fellow guy with the same thing attached, it was an incredible face that couldn’t help but bewitch me for a moment.
“Since I lent you my breath, you have to succeed this time.”
But his playful voice made my head much clearer. Baek Sahyun, who traced my lower lip that had become slightly plump from being sucked so much with his finger, warned.
“Even if you make a fuss, I won’t kiss you.”
Just as I was feeling like the afterimage of the kiss still remained, my head was bent down again. Naturally, it wasn’t an action I chose voluntarily. It was just Baek Sahyun pressing down on the back of my head.
The last 40 seconds only flowed slowly along with his cheering.
❖ ❖ ❖
After the torture ended, Baek Sahyun picked up my exhausted self and carried me to the bed.
And then what he said was.
“You should sleep now. You have class tomorrow.”
Hollow-sounding bullshit like that. I was irritated, but I had now forgotten how to protest. Since he was a bastard who didn’t respond to feedback anyway, it was better to ignore him rather than waste energy.
And so, in the early morning when it was hard to gauge the time.
Next to me, a sadist of the century was sleeping.
Unable to fall asleep, I suffered in deep contemplation. Because I had the thought that ending this guy’s life might be the best thing for this world.
‘Now is the right time.’
If I had to kill him, the opportunity was only now. How common would it be for Baek Sahyun to sleep soundly in a defenseless state next to me? If this were the real Republic of Korea, I wouldn’t have dreamed of thinking about killing a living person. But this place was inside a novel, and my mind was going back and forth due to waterboarding. Right. Who would point fingers at me for making one paper character disappear?
After silently waiting for the right moment, I slowly got up after my vision was sufficiently secured.
I looked around in all directions with eyes shining like an owl hidden in the jungle. Unfortunately, there were no tools in sight that could be used as implements. It would be nice to go outside the bed to the kitchen, but I wasn’t confident I could move around without waking Baek Sahyun.
‘……’
As I pondered, the simplest tool caught my eye. A pillow placed on the bed.
The probability wasn’t high, but if I planned the strategy well, there was a chance of winning. Slowly block his breath without him noticing, and if his limbs sprang up, strike down with my forearm.
‘What more could he do than kill me if he catches me?’
I was already dead anyway, so dying once more wouldn’t be strange. Ah. Of course, it’s not my body. Anyway, with my morale recharged, I calmly organized my plan.
At the end, I offered a prayer, wishing for divine protection.
‘Dear God. Please allow me to punish that bastard who waterboarded a man his own age and forcibly stole his lips.’
Thinking an ordinary prayer wouldn’t convey my desperation, I recited Baek Sahyun’s entire illustrious history. While I was at it, I also reported the sins he would commit in the future if he stayed alive.
In doing so, I suddenly thought of Jang Haesu.
‘Haesu…’
Thinking of my rabbit-like younger sister immediately made me gloomy. I wanted to ask everything—where she was, what she was doing, whether she was eating properly, and what she did about the bad relatives who came to my funeral.
I, who had been immersed in melancholy, soon slapped my own cheeks to awaken the fighting spirit within me. One goal. Kill that bastard and follow in death. Any other thoughts besides that were unnecessary.
‘Lord. Now…, one person is coming.’
Now it was really time.
I adjusted the angle while holding the pillow high. I had to press down on his nose and mouth without error.
Just before executing the plan like that.
“Ahhhhh!”
All efforts turned into nothing.
Baek Sahyun, who had been sleeping soundly, suddenly opened his eyes. Shocked pale, I screamed and rolled off the bed. There was no greater disgrace than this disgrace.
“Wh, when did you…”
Grabbing my heart that was pounding wildly, I returned to my place again. When I removed the pillow that covered about half his face, Baek Sahyun spoke in a deeply subdued voice.
“Why don’t you strangle me instead? If you try to press with a pillow, you’ll be overpowered by my strength anyway.”
Damn it. I couldn’t open my mouth from embarrassment. To think I stupidly thought about taking his breath with a pillow, and moreover, to have the entire process caught! As expected, I was a bastard abandoned by God.
“Hey, I… I just lost my mind. Forget it.”
No matter how he reacted, the punishment of waterboarding wouldn’t change, so I just delivered a dry apology. I was about to immediately turn my back and lie down to block the possibility of conversation, but Baek Sahyun suddenly sat up and grabbed my right hand.
And brought it directly to the area around his neck.
“Look, see. First press here with your thumb. Where the uvula is. Then as you gag, your strength momentarily loosens. That’s when you push. Hard.”
Baek Sahyun’s pulse throbbed at my fingertips. Thinking that it was repeating contraction and relaxation at regular intervals gave me a strange feeling. The feeling that was hard to believe—that this bastard is human too.
“…How do you know this? Have you done it a lot?”
I didn’t want to continue the conversation, but I was also scared to fall asleep in this state. After babbling carelessly, I glanced at Baek Sahyun. He opened his mouth with a smile. Want me to tell you? He asked gently, so I nodded.
The answer I heard was shocking.
“Because I’ve been subjected to it often, that’s how I know.”
