“Are you sick somewhere?”
“No, I’m fine…”
It was an appointment after a long time. Since opportunities to meet with Rhino, who had become quite busy after graduation, had decreased, Bernard came out to the meeting place making an effort despite feeling chilly. Rhino’s expression was quite serious as he placed his hand on Bernard’s forehead and asked. At that, Bernard made a sniffling sound and overlapped his hand on his own forehead.
“Stay here, I’ll go buy some medicine.”
Rhino, who stood up from the bench, quickly grew distant. Rhino was particularly sensitive about Bernard being sick. He was Bernard’s one and only friend, and although he had a somewhat rough side, he was a person who was kind to Bernard in everything.
However, Bernard sometimes thought that it was kindness with a reason. The cause was Elliot. Though he’d never properly said it, Rhino would often stare at Elliot intently.
“You’re twins with Elliot Weil, right? Is that correct?”
Rhino likes Elliot. You could tell just from the question he suddenly asked at their first meeting in college. Bernard’s surroundings were always overflowing with such guys anyway. The only difference from Rhino was that they didn’t become friends with Bernard.
Just as many people followed Elliot, Rhino also admired Elliot but seemed unable to bring it up easily. Rhino’s inner thoughts were difficult to grasp. Topics about Elliot didn’t come up often between the two. To be precise, Rhino had never brought up Elliot’s story first except in the early days when they were becoming close.
Occasionally when they encountered Elliot, he’d poked Rhino’s side, telling him to speak honestly since he knew everything about how Rhino stared only at Elliot, but he couldn’t remember what he had answered at that time.
Through the gap of lengthening idle thoughts, Rubens’s face suddenly came to mind. Around the time he thought he should have revealed he wasn’t Elliot then, Rhino’s voice suddenly interjected.
“Why are you so out of it? Should I have taken you to the hospital instead of getting medicine? Try taking this.”
“It’s not a big deal, why did you buy so much?”
“You always talk like that.”
Headache medicine, painkillers, fever reducers, and comprehensive cold medicine came out of the paper bag one after another. Even at Rhino’s sharp voice, Bernard burst into short laughter.
“…Thanks, as always.”
“I don’t know what you’re doing. Don’t feel unnecessarily responsible.”
It was a reaction as if he knew. Bernard blinked his eyes while opening the water bottle. He wanted to poke and ask what he knew, but he obediently swallowed the pills.
“Should we go into a cafe?”
“Do as you like.”
Rhino agreed while gathering and organizing the remaining medicine. Rhino was generous to Bernard. He didn’t oppose much if it was something Bernard wanted, and generally affirmed positively, so Bernard thought he was quite different from the rumors circulating on campus.
“Just. I guess it’s because something happened that made me think a lot.”
“If your family says something again, come to our house.”
“It’s not that… Elliot seems to be dating someone these days.”
Rhino’s expression subtly crumpled. He set down the ordered coffee in front of Bernard and sat in the opposite chair lukewarmly.
“I don’t like Elliot.”
“You don’t need to hide it in front of me, Rhino.”
“…You really are frustratingly dense in strange places.”
Rhino’s voice spitting out words as if chewing contained deep sighs, but Bernard sipped the hot coffee without blinking an eye.
“Okay, okay. It’ll be embarrassing, so let’s talk about something else.”
“Please, Bernard…”
Rhino’s lips pressed tightly shut. The words asking where the hell that damned perceptiveness came from rose to his throat, but he wisely remained silent. He wished someone would break that useless intuition, but unfortunately Bernard was clueless in that direction and would remain so in the future. It was quite desperate news for Rhino. Rhino asked.
“Besides that, don’t you have anything to tell me?”
“Did you really not attend the graduation party until the end?”
“…Yeah, thanks for being curious about even that.”
Even at Rhino’s deflated sigh, Bernard only shrugged his shoulders.
“Something came up at the company.”
“Ah, you said you were taking it over?”
“That’s right. Let’s talk about something fun instead of boring stuff. Don’t you have anything?”
At Rhino’s grumbling, Bernard was silent for a moment. Bernard suddenly remembered that Rubens’s business card, which he had been treasuring for several days, had disappeared. To think that what he had kept in his wallet and cherished like a lucky charm had disappeared. His heart ached since he hadn’t gone out frequently enough to think he’d dropped it somewhere. But even if he mentioned such a thing…
“Nothing much.”
“And no one bothered you at the party?”
“Why, are you going to scold them?”
“Anyone, if you want.”
At that answer, a faint smile spread across Bernard’s face. It was also rude to be immersed in thoughts about that man for long in front of a friend he’d met after a long time. The trivial idle thoughts quickly subsided.
***
When Bernard returned after finishing his not-so-long outing, the atmosphere at home was unusual. Entering inside carefully, Bernard quietly examined the interior. Sure enough, Elliot was nowhere to be seen.
“Elliot is late, where are you coming from?”
“I had an appointment…”
Before he could greet her, Sarah’s voice flew in sharply. Bernard bit his lips firmly and then forced a smile. A displeased look passed over Sarah’s face.
“Aren’t you even worried about Elliot?”
“Well… Elliot will do well anywhere. He seems busy these days.”
“That child with a weak body keeps going out somewhere…”
At the words that came out soothingly as if to persuade her, Sarah’s expression became somewhat calmer.
“I’ll try contacting him. Go upstairs.”
“Yes, good night.”
Bernard, who answered politely, stepped on the stairs. A bitter smile spread at Sarah’s behavior, which was opposite to how she treated Elliot. Even when he came home having skipped dinner, Liam didn’t even show his face. What had been caring for and looking after only Elliot since childhood had now become established as a callus.
He entered his room and closed the door without even turning on the light. The more curious a person is, the more they suffer. Even though it would be comfortable not to think about anything or judge anything.
“Ah… That’s right. Did I come too late? Congratulations on your graduation.”
When alone, he kept mulling over those words. They were just common greetings, but the more he recalled them, a corner of his heart somehow churned. That night had already become distant.
“…Is it worth congratulating?”
The more he looked into that fleeting one night, the more easily his emotions ripened. Because the more people mull things over, the more they add reasons to miss them, it’s quickly classified as something special. But now, it was time to give up too. Since he’d dragged it out for so long…
Bernard’s shoulders, lying face down on the bed, rose and fell shallowly. It didn’t take long for that to lead to thin trembling. Then, around the time he fell asleep exhausted by himself, there was a touch lightly shaking his shoulder.
“Bernard.”
“…Elliot?”
Someone called Bernard in his sleep. When Bernard asked back at the familiar voice, Elliot, who had crept into the bed, smiled shallowly. Subtle excitement was embedded in Elliot’s voice.
“Sleeping?”
“I just… woke up. What’s wrong? Are you sick somewhere?”
He tried to add that he wasn’t getting a fever again, but Elliot’s action was faster. At his brother’s action of hugging him suddenly, Bernard inadvertently hugged his back in return.
“There’s someone I want to introduce to you.”
“Is that why you’ve been coming home late these days?”
“Oh, Bernard. Bernard…”
Bursting out hushed exclamations, Elliot smiled brightly. Bernard also smiled faintly at the happiness radiating from his face. Elliot was sometimes Bernard’s inferiority complex, but generally Bernard’s pride.
“He says he likes me.”
A shallow sigh leaked from between Bernard’s lips. He was worried first whether he had met a strange person somewhere. But he couldn’t bring himself to say such things in front of the happy-looking Elliot.
“Is he a decent person?”
“A very wonderful person. You’ll like him too.”
It was always like that. Perhaps because they were twins, their tastes were generally similar. The people they both knew were limited, but still, Bernard knew most of the people around Elliot. Of course, that was the story until graduation. After graduation, Elliot felt like someone who had suddenly grown distant.
Bernard thought carefully, but was confused because there was no one who immediately came to mind as Elliot’s partner.
Then was he someone he met outside recently? But he couldn’t ask right away who it was. Elliot’s face, flushed from falling in love, was truly wonderful like a protagonist in a famous painting. He didn’t want to break his mood of making and enjoying secrets.
“When are you going to introduce him?”
“So… would you like to have dinner together with him this weekend?”
Elliot’s romantic partners changed frequently. Sometimes they were women, sometimes men. However, there were a few common points. They were always older, and generally the partner was the one leading Elliot. And they all boasted incredibly beautiful appearances. Would it be such a person this time too? He nodded while roughly guessing.
“I hope you’ll like him.”
“Were you late every time because you were meeting that person? Last time you even drank.”
“He said I’d remember if I drank…”
Not understanding what he meant, Bernard blinked his eyes. He felt somewhat awake now. Embarrassment spread across Elliot’s face.
“He said we’d met before. When I said I didn’t remember, he asked if I couldn’t remember because I was drunk, since there was a smell of alcohol.”
