# Chapter 19
“Huh?”
“All the girls like Ryu Hakyoung. Even if they pretend not to, if Ryu Hakyoung asked them out, they’d all think about it. Is it the same for guys?”
“Guys or girls, I think it’s actually similar…”
“Are you like that too?”
“No, I’m not really into Hakyoung.”
“Eh, really? You wouldn’t date him?”
“Yeah. I won’t date him.”
Sunmin thought Yumyeong’s eyes were somehow sparkling too much.
“Why? Why don’t you like that guy? He’s fucking amazing. There’s no reason to dislike him, is there? Is it because he doesn’t talk much? Is he too burdensome?”
“It’s not that…”
“Then what if, really what if Ryu Hakyoung said he liked you, what would you do? Would you at least try meeting him once? Or would you reject him?”
“Ryu Hakyoung liking me? There’s no way that would happen.”
Sunmin drew a firm line while also finding it puzzling.
At this point, Sunmin was recalling Hakyoung’s attitude toward him. He had certainly shown him a lot of goodwill, and some of it was hard to consider as simple kindness. Ryu Hakyoung was a strange friend in many ways, but the strangest thing was the recent moment when he asked ‘What would you do if Shin Yumyeong confessed to you?’ Hakyoung’s eyes had been very cold then.
In front of Sunmin who was lost in thought, Yumyeong muttered.
“Why wouldn’t it happen? There are so many unexpected things in the world, why do you think ‘Believe It or Not’ is so long-running?”
At those words, Sunmin chuckled.
“You got rejected by Heeun too.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Even an amazing guy like you has a girl who’s not interested, so there’s also me who’s not interested in Hakyoung.”
Yumyeong, who had been pondering the meaning of those words for a moment, let out a deep sigh and muttered.
“Is that a compliment? Or are you feeding me?”
Seeing Yumyeong deflate as soon as Heeun was mentioned looked cute, so Sunmin laughed loudly.
It was around the time the ice cream was almost gone.
Yumyeong glanced at his watch thinking ‘He’s past the time he should come.’
In fact, before calling Sunmin, he had asked Hanju for a favor. To say ‘Yumyeong took Sunmin and disappeared and I don’t know where they went.’
Just thinking about Hakyoung searching for them while turning the whole school upside down made him feel pleasant. He remembered how a few days ago, he had picked a fight for no reason and just ruined his mood and turned away. If Hakyoung’s weakness was liking men, his own weaknesses were money and his parents.
However, as time passed, Yumyeong gradually became anxious. Though suspicion arose that Hakyoung might have figured out his intentions and ignored them, he firmly believed that couldn’t be the case.
Sunmin was Hakyoung’s weak point. No matter how much he tried to ignore things, it was the greatest weakness that would force him to move. It had been like that every time until now.
Then, Sunmin hesitated before opening his mouth.
“Yumyeong, um. What would you do if someone you don’t have feelings for confessed to you?”
“Huh?”
At the unexpected words, Yumyeong, who had been thinking about something else, turned his head. His dazed eyes with unfocused attention looked to the side. When the eyes with long upper and lower lashes lost focus, they had a unique atmosphere. Because of the teaspoon resting on his lips, his plump lips were pressed down, and Sunmin unconsciously swallowed his dry saliva.
“If someone you don’t have feelings for confessed to you?”
“Yeah.”
“Ha… I couldn’t date them, but if I received a confession, I think I’d say thank you first.”
“Really?”
“After being rejected, I understand. Being rejected is really… lonely. I don’t want the other person to feel lonely. Even if I can’t accept their confession, I at least want to make sure they don’t feel that way. So, thank you for liking me…”
At Yumyeong’s calm words, Sunmin’s eyes rippled.
At that moment, the classroom door rattled slightly, but neither of them noticed.
Even Yumyeong’s way of rejecting was warm. He had never planned to say it in his life, but if it was someone who appreciated these feelings of liking them, it would be different. In that moment, Sunmin felt the impulse to express the feelings he had intended to keep secret forever.
“Yumyeong, you’re really kind and warm. Of all the people I know, you’re the most… Huk!”
Bang!
Before he could finish his words, the door burst open as if it would break. It was such a loud noise that the back of his head tingled from the sound alone. The two looked at the open door with dazed faces.
“What the, fuck… Who is it!”
Yumyeong quickly jumped up and headed for the door.
“You came, you bastard!”
Nothing was visible anymore in his field of vision as he looked around outside the door. However, Yumyeong acted as if he was certain who had kicked the door and run away. Excited like that, he ran out into the hallway and ran far away yelling ‘Hey, stop right there!’
In an instant, only Sunmin was left alone in the classroom. He sat for a moment, pondering whether he should consider it fortunate or unfortunate that his confession had been involuntarily interrupted.
***
In the end, he caught him. Just before his lungs would tear.
“Huk, huk… You’re fucking fast. Why the hell are you running?”
Yumyeong gasped for breath with his knees on the dry grass, feeling like he would vomit his heart. What he had frantically chased and caught was none other than Hakyoung.
Hakyoung was lying sprawled after being grabbed by the nape, half-crushed under Yumyeong. Even from that calm face, breath poured out frighteningly.
“Haa, haa… You chased me. Ugh.”
Hakyoung, who had been gasping for breath, rubbed his chest area as if in pain. His lungs also seemed to hurt from breathing in to the limit. Yumyeong could tell well because the same place hurt for him too. The place the two had run to was the mountain behind the school. Though it was well-maintained with dirt paths here and there, the slope was quite steep, so running at full speed would give you a taste of hell.
“You ran away first. So why did you run…”
Thud!
Suddenly Hakyoung punched the ground so hard dirt flew up. Yumyeong flinched slightly and looked at Hakyoung.
He was strangely emotional. He seemed to be filled with resentment, and also seemed at a loss about himself. Trembling was occasionally mixed in with his breath that he was gasping as if about to burst.
He’s not crying, is he?
Yumyeong got goosebumps down his spine and stopped, looking down at Hakyoung. He felt a strange feeling at the emotions fully revealed by the other person who had only been a thorn in his side until now.
“…Are you that pissed off? We didn’t even do much… We ate ice cream, so at this level, if I did something worse, you’d try to kill me.”
At Yumyeong’s words, Hakyoung let out a pained groan of “Keuung” and just lay down on the dirt ground. Then he covered his face with his large hands and just heaved his breathing. Though it had subsided a bit from earlier, his chest was still rising and falling greatly.
He knew Sunmin was a weakness and had intended to torment him, but when a reaction beyond his expectations came back, Yumyeong felt troubled. Especially because it seemed like sobbing sounds were somehow mixed into Hakyoung’s breathing.
“Haa.”
Leaning his back heavily against a tree trunk nearby, Yumyeong looked at the sky. In the sky he looked up at, tree branches were poking the white moon.
His lungs that had expanded cruelly tingled. Yumyeong rubbed his solar plexus and asked slowly.
“Did you happen to hear?”
This was the only thing he could guess as to why Hakyoung was like this.
While talking with him, Sunmin had drawn a line saying ‘I’m not really into Hakyoung.’ He had also said there would be no chance of dating. For that soft guy to say that much meant it was quite a firm attitude.
Hakyoung nodded slightly while lying down.
“From when?”
“Almost all of it.”
“What are you going to do? You got rejected too.”
Yumyeong openly clicked his tongue. Then he scoffed at Hakyoung.
“But at least you’re better off. I got rejected by Heeun right to my face. You just heard it. The damage is different for this kind of thing, the damage…”
“…”
“Do you understand now? How painful heartbreak is. You bad-mouthed me in front of that person saying I got rejected for being ugly.”
Just from overhearing feelings, he’s raging like this, so if he actually got rejected right to his face, this guy would become a wild animal or werewolf running wildly on a mountain path in the dead of night.
Imagining that scene, Yumyeong chuckled to himself. No matter how much others praised him for being calm or composed, this guy was just an ordinary high school student too. The sight of him running at full speed unable to contain his anger at being rejected, and writhing on the dirt ground in agony over heartbreak was unexpected.
Yumyeong strangely felt a sense of kinship with this guy.
Since he had seen the annoying bastard he wanted to torment in great despair, his heart might already be satisfied with that.
After a long while, when his breathing had subsided, Hakyoung muttered.
“It’s painful.”
“What is?”
“Even in this state, it’s painful that my feelings of liking him remain the same.”
Yumyeong glanced down at Hakyoung. He could see his fingertips trembling finely.
“It’s disappointing and irritating. He constantly grates on my nerves and turns my dreams into nightmares. And yet it’s miserable that feelings of liking him remain.”
Yumyeong frowned. For him, the emotion of liking someone was much lighter. Even when rejected, rather than resentment toward the other person, he felt more melancholy about the romance he had dreamed of becoming distant.
“If you like them, you like them, if you don’t, you don’t. Are you sure you like him?”
“…I don’t know anymore either.”
Hakyoung muttered as if resigned.
In contrast, Hakyoung’s feelings of liking seemed much heavier and stickier. Yumyeong thought of Sunmin and worried whether the two could really stay in the same dormitory room.
“My friend, you must be really nice. Everything in the world goes your way.”
He remembered the words he had said to Hakyoung. How insulting must his words have felt to this guy? Yumyeong awkwardly rubbed his hands on his pants and said.
“Anyway, now you understand my feelings a bit too. The timing was bad. To call me ugly right after I got rejected… Anyone would hold a grudge. Of course, there’s a bit of a problem with your perspective, but I decided to understand that. If Lee Sunmin is your type, I guess my face might not be your type.”
Hakyoung covered his face with his arm and said nothing.
