Slate 36

He said they should go over lines together, but even after moving to a different spot with Dohyeong, Haesung was maintaining his silence.

It would be better if at least Wootae was nearby. Since he said it was acting practice, Wootae was watching them from a distance.

Dohyeong, who had been quietly examining the script, spoke first.

“Sunbae-nim.”

“Why are you just sitting there?”

Haesung’s voice, countering Dohyeong’s words as if he’d been waiting, was quite cold.

“Pardon?”

“I asked why you just sat there.”

Thinking he’d misheard, he asked back, but the same question returned like a parrot.

As he looked at Haesung wondering why he was asking that, Hakyung’s words flashed through his mind.

“He had no reaction, just like sunbae. He just stared at me quietly.”

It welled up inside for no reason. Gripping the script tightly, he sharply faced Haesung.

You sat there quietly too, sunbae-nim. He tried to say it but closed his mouth tight. Because it wasn’t something I should care about. That meant it also wasn’t something Haesung should care about either.

“What does it matter?”

Though the opposite of what he wanted to ask came out, Dohyeong stood firm.

“It’s not something for sunbae-nim to concern yourself with.”

You sat there quietly too. Somehow, pointing out why I sat there quietly didn’t sit well with me at all.

Do I absolutely have to avoid it? Because Hakyung is the one touching?

My insides felt stuffy. I wondered if this was really something to feel this wronged about, but the stinging at the end of my throat wouldn’t easily subside.

“You’re right. It’s not something I should concern myself with.”

Haesung spoke coldly and turned his head.

If this is how it was going to be, why did he bring up the conversation first? And what was the reason for bringing me all the way here?

Various questions circled in his head, but Dohyeong forcefully suppressed them and shifted his gaze to the script.

He was chewing over each line one by one, drawing the situation in his head, when it happened.

A short vibration came from his pocket. When he took out his phone, he saw Hakyung’s message had arrived.

Im Hakyung

I uploaded a photo to SNS. Please follow me back, sunbae!!

Already? Startled, he looked around, and he could see Hakyung standing over there raising his hand and waving.

He felt self-conscious for no reason. It must be because Haesung had mentioned Hakyung’s name.

Hesitantly entering SNS, below Hakyung’s profile picture appeared text saying he was following him.

Unable to ignore it, when he followed Hakyung back, what appeared on the main feed was a single photo he’d posted.

It was a photo of himself staring blankly at Hakyung, while he was smiling brightly at the camera.

★

Dohyeong sunbae, I’m embarrassed when you look at me like that

His eyes widened at the post that went up with the photo. If someone saw it, wouldn’t it be just right for misunderstanding?

He was worried. Thinking he should consult with Wootae, when he raised his head.

“…Are you here to play around on set?”

Again, Haesung’s displeased voice was heard. Flustered, he turned to the side, and a川 (cheon) character was drawn between his brows.

“Does it look like I came to play around?”

“Taking photos, making physical contact. If that’s not playing around, what is it?”

An empty laugh came out. And you, the words that had risen to the tip of his throat, he barely swallowed them down.

“Yes. I come to act. To work.”

“Someone like that right now—”

“Didn’t you say we should go over lines?”

Haesung quietly stared at Dohyeong, who interrupted his words to ask.

Half of him felt glad, as if seeing the young Dohyeong. Half of him felt frustrated at the appearance of not backing down at all without knowing his feelings.

Letting out a heavily rising sigh, he roughly swept his hair up.

At that moment, Dohyeong closed the script with a smack! and stood up.

“If you don’t intend to go over lines, I’ll return to my spot.”

When he took one step forward like that, Haesung’s voice was heard.

It was quite an urgent voice, but it didn’t reach Dohyeong.

“I was concerned about you, that’s why.”

Perhaps because Hakyung’s words remained in his head and wouldn’t leave, it was interpreted in a completely different direction.

“…Seeing it concerns me, frustrates me, and I really don’t like it. So I made an excuse.”

Dohyeong stood still without looking back, then ha, let out an empty laugh.

Was he always this honest? I’d heard countless times that people change over time.

But I didn’t want to see Haesung change this much, at least.

“Yes. I’ll behave so as not to grate on your nerves.”

Dohyeong answered without looking back and moved away from Haesung with large strides.

Haesung, sitting in his spot, was quietly looking at Dohyeong with a flustered face as if he couldn’t understand.

But in the end, he couldn’t catch him as he moved away. What the reason was, why he was doing that. He could only let out a deep sigh with an expression that showed he couldn’t understand at all.

***

“What’s wrong, why are you like this?”

Wootae asked in surprise, but Dohyeong couldn’t say anything. He just quietly examined the script and let out a big sigh.

“Hyung, can I ask you just one thing?”

“Yeah, ask. As much as you want.”

“Hyung, if by any chance…”

He thought whether it was right to tell Wootae about this. Wondering if Yuchan would eventually find out too.

No, more than that, wouldn’t he worry? I didn’t want to see the two of them anxiously worrying about whether I would collapse again.

“What is it? Tell me.”

But this frustration didn’t seem like it would be easily resolved.

That meant asking first and seeking an answer would be better for me.

Dohyeong, who had filled his lungs with breath, exhaled and soothed himself, then spoke with difficulty.

“…Let’s say you broke up with Bitna noona. This is hypothetical. I don’t actually want that to happen. You know, right?”

“I know. So, if Bitna and I broke up?”

“You struggled for a long time, and finally got better. Like me.”

It’s his own story. He could realize it at once. But he decided not to show it.

Yeah, he answered shortly and nodded his head.

“But…”

But Dohyeong didn’t continue speaking. After hesitating for a while, he just sighed deeply.

“Hey, Dohyeong.”

At Wootae’s call, Dohyeong turned his head.

“You know what pisses Koreans off the most?”

“I don’t know.”

“One is, stopping mid-sentence.”

“……”

“Two is…”

It was revenge that wasn’t revenge, but it seemed Dohyeong didn’t understand.

He was just staring at him as if waiting for Wootae’s next words.

“That’s exactly what you just did. You stopped mid-sentence.”

“Ah.”

Dohyeong, nodding as if he just realized, tapped his clasped fingertips together, tok, tok.

“Ah, what is it! I’m dying of frustration!”

At Wootae’s voice hitting his chest, Dohyeong spoke with difficulty. It was a very small voice.

“…If she said she seemed to like someone else.”

“What?”

“If Bitna noona said she seemed to like someone else… how would that be?”

In an instant, he was at a loss for words.

What is this kid saying right now? He stared at Dohyeong quietly, then dug at his ear frantically with his finger.

“…What did I just hear?”

“I won’t say it twice.”

“No, it’s not that I didn’t understand. So right now…”

Wootae’s gaze slowly turned toward Haesung sitting far away. However, startled by the gaze glaring at him and Dohyeong as if to kill them, he turned his head back again.

“Jeong Haesung has someone else?”

Dohyeong’s face twisted slightly. But what was hidden in it wasn’t anger or a sense of betrayal.

A somehow upset, sad expression.

After maintaining silence for a while, Dohyeong nodded his head.

“I’m not certain. Just… I wonder if hyung might be giving his heart to someone.”

“Hey, that doesn’t make sense.”

“Why doesn’t it make sense?”

“Hey, a guy who lives and dies by his own greatness like that has someone else in his heart? Come on. That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all year.”

“…No one knows about people’s affairs.”

Dohyeong’s words weren’t wrong. Wootae, who had been quietly mulling over that answer, nodded his head.

That’s true. Of course, no one knows about people’s affairs but.

Thinking about it quietly, what was strange wasn’t that.

“But why does that matter?”

There was exactly one thing that sounded really strange.

“Whoever Jeong Haesung likes, what does that have to do with you, Dohyeong?”

At Wootae’s voice full of questions, Dohyeong shut his mouth tight.

That’s right, it’s not related to me. Even while acknowledging it himself, this moment of nodding his head was quite heartbreaking.

I decided not to leave even a speck of lingering attachment. We decided to become people who cheer for each other’s future paths, didn’t we?

“Rather, think of it as an opportunity.”

“What opportunity?”

“An opportunity to escape from Jeong Haesung’s shadow. An opportunity to finally run away from that bas… no, that lone wolf—if you think of it that way, your heart will be at ease.”

Wootae’s words weren’t wrong. I know.

But what came to mind at times like this weren’t thoughts like it being a good opportunity or that I should run far away so I wouldn’t get caught.

‘From Jeong Haesung’s shadow. Run away from all those stories entangled with me. I’ll embrace all the useless things on this side.’

That one sentence Haesung once said to me.

‘From now on, the one trapped in your shadow will be me. You… can run away. Kim Dohyeong.’

It was his voice speaking calmly and firmly as if he could definitely achieve it.

Being trapped in a shadow couldn’t have meant this. Of course, I wasn’t telling Haesung to take the same choice as me. I had no such thought at all, but.

‘It’s just that my feelings are strange…’

Because he said he wanted to become close to me. Because I watched Haesung’s sudden change as he approached me closely.

Was that also simply words spoken as senior and junior?

Various thoughts floating in my head complicated my heart.

Wootae, who had been quietly watching such a Dohyeong, shook his head and took out his phone.

No matter how much he thought about it, Yuchan was better than Haesung. If he had to support Dohyeong’s romance and future love.

‘Definitely Choi Yuchan. Where else is there a guy like Yuchan these days? Dohyeong, please face reality.’

Yes, he felt certain that unless it was Yuchan, there would be no one who could understand and embrace Dohyeong.

In the end, he started writing a message without a word to Dohyeong.

Choi Yuchan

Yuchan, big news

Shortly after, a reply arrived as if he’d been waiting.