# Chapter 2. What He Left Behind (1)
Sometimes silence can become the greatest violence.
“So today I decided to start with vocal exercises again. After all, the script is pretty dark, and the role I’ve been assigned is gloomy too… But no matter how much I look at it, I just can’t figure out where I should go to learn properly.”
His slightly trembling voice continued, but there was no answer. Dohyeong was just muttering to himself.
“Haesung hyung.”
He called out the name as he tried to continue speaking. Across from him, Haesung sat reading an English newspaper with an expressionless face. He was scanning through articles while drinking the same lemon tea as always when he slightly rolled his eyes to look at Dohyeong sitting in front of him.
“Yeah, I’m listening.”
It was an emotionless response. There was no sign of him maintaining eye contact or putting down the newspaper to give Dohyeong his full attention.
In their second year of marriage, Dohyeong had grown impatient at their inability to grow closer despite his efforts, and finally convinced Haesung to attend couples therapy with him.
That was the prescription they received:
Spend at least one hour every day talking to each other.
Share about each other’s day and form a connection.
The first attempt went well. Though he seemed a bit bored, Haesung talked about himself readily enough and listened attentively to what Dohyeong had to say.
But that didn’t last long. After a week, he reverted to his usual self.
He stopped responding to Dohyeong’s words, and eventually held a book or newspaper in his hands, avoiding eye contact. He added that he could still listen to Dohyeong’s words even while looking at something else.
“…Now, please tell me about your day, hyung.”
But Dohyeong didn’t give up. If he stopped now, it was clear their marriage would end in disaster with nothing but scars remaining.
Haesung folded his newspaper and let out a deep sigh. He pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand, then dragged it down his face.
The fatigue that hadn’t been visible until just now was clearly etched on his face. His eyes clearly asked if they really had to have this conversation.
It felt like the whole world was collapsing. It seemed like Dohyeong alone was struggling desperately to repair their relationship, trying somehow to put it back on a normal track.
It felt like the ground was crumbling beneath his feet.
“…Reviewed the script for the next project. Took a nap at home, then worked out.”
“Did you get many good scripts?”
“Well…”
“Isn’t it too bright when you nap? Should we get new blackout curtains? Oh, did you go to your usual fitness center for your workout? Maybe I should register there too. If I exercise with you—”
“Dohyeong.”
At the heavy voice that abruptly cut off his words, Dohyeong held his breath.
“I’m tired.”
Haesung’s blunt statement felt like a blow to the head. Dohyeong, who had been staring at him without being able to say anything, dropped his head.
“Let’s do this tomorrow.”
A touch lingered on his head, devoid of any affection, tenderness, or warmth.
After patting his head a couple of times, Dohyeong heard the sound of him getting up from his seat.
When is tomorrow? The question just circled in his mind. You said the same thing yesterday, followed by complaints about the situation that had been repeating since the day before.
“…Okay. Good night, hyung.”
All Dohyeong could do was bid farewell to Haesung’s heels as he had already entered the bedroom.
Haesung’s figure was gradually buried in darkness. Just like a fade-out effect.
Just as he was sinking into the deep swamp of the past…
“Hey! Kim Dohyeong!”
The sight of Wootae sighing deeply while looking at him filled his vision.
“Are you listening?”
“…Huh?”
“Ah, geez. I’ll explain again, so listen carefully.”
One of the people who stayed by his side until the end when everyone else had left.
From when he was floundering in a slump, until the moment he stamped the divorce papers with Haesung.
“No, I was listening. You don’t need to explain. In a few days there’s a full team meeting, and there’s a production announcement before we start the script reading. And right after that, there’s the production team MT and script reading.”
At Dohyeong’s precise answer, Wootae let out a small sigh. His worried expression plainly revealed his inner thoughts.
“…Are you sure you’re okay? Are you really ready to make a comeback?”
“I have to. The director called me back, after all.”
“That’s true, but if it’s too hard for you—”
Despite Wootae’s words, Dohyeong shook his head. Then he picked up the script Wootae had handed him and gripped it tightly.
“I want to do it. I want to. I want to act again, hyung.”
At his words, which sounded almost like a pledge, Wootae visibly bit his lip hard.
A bitter smile rose involuntarily. Seeing Wootae angrier than himself made a corner of his heart ache.
“Ah… everything’s fine except, why is the lead…”
“I know it’s Haesung hyung.”
“Damn it, why are you still calling him ‘hyung’ after everything? Have you forgotten what that bastard—no, what Jung Haesung did to you?”
How could I forget?
Jung Haesung, applauded for his cold judgment and principled statements. And Kim Dohyeong, an actor who still needed to grow.
Perhaps that was why. Whenever he saw Haesung, he recalled his words, and every time Haesung opened his mouth, Dohyeong feared what he might say.
When he opened his eyes, Dohyeong had already fallen into the abyss, and his relationship with Haesung had deteriorated even further. It didn’t improve even slightly until he stamped the divorce papers. Of course, the knot in his heart probably still remained.
“Still, I have to act. That’s my job.”
At the sight of Dohyeong forcing a smile, Wootae bit his lower lip hard again. Then after glancing at the script he had handed to Dohyeong, he spoke loudly with veins bulging in his neck.
“Okay, Kim Dohyeong. You can do this again. Do everything you want! Huh? I’ll bring you every project I can get my hands on and support you as much as possible. You just focus on acting. Everyone knows how hard you’ve worked to climb up from rock bottom. So just act your heart out. Got it?”
“Yeah, I got it.”
Dohyeong nodded with a smile.
He had endured for a long time. Standing alone in the pitch-black darkness, he devoted himself to honing his skills.
He started taking acting lessons again, and didn’t skip going to the dermatologist or working out.
It was time for all his efforts to preserve everything he had to bear fruit.
Wootae, who had been patting Dohyeong’s shoulders as he was lost in thought, stood up.
“Great! Then to celebrate this new beginning, should we go get some meat?”
He needed to go to the hospital anyway. Due to his irregular heat cycles, he was scheduled to get new medication.
“Let’s stop by the hospital first, hyung. There will be production meetings, and we’ll have poster shoots soon too, so I think I should get my suppressants in advance.”
“Okay, let’s do that. Hospital first, then meat!”
Dohyeong nodded with a gentle smile at Wootae’s loud and cheerful response.
***
Even the day after eating plenty of meat and drinking with Wootae, Dohyeong headed to the gym without fail.
After finishing his workout, he felt a pleasant trembling in his legs all the way home. It made him feel like he was starting another fulfilling day.
Wootae:
Dohyeong
I have a meeting with the director tomorrow
He says he’s going to reveal his secret card that he’s been hiding
Secret card? Dohyeong tilted his head at Wootae’s message.
Come to think of it, his co-star hadn’t been revealed yet. The character name Seo Onyoung had been announced, but the actor playing that role was kept secret, and no one knew who it was.
There weren’t even any news articles about it. Some people posted speculative writings suggesting who it might be, but the production company maintained their silence.
Dohyeong:
Really?
Looks like they’re planning to reveal who’s playing Onyoung tomorrow
Okay
Get some good rest tonight and see you tomorrow
He thought it would be a busy day after a long time. He straightened his back and looked ahead.
He always took the riverside path on his way home. It was good for light jogging, and there weren’t many people, so he didn’t have to worry about being recognized.
After finishing his run, he climbed up along the river. As he was walking slowly along the path, he saw someone pacing in front of his house.
“Choi Yuchan?”
The one who turned his head at the voice was Yuchan, smiling brightly.
“Dohyeong!”
Yuchan, who had been running toward him, embraced him tightly as if he’d been waiting for this moment.
How strange. He certainly didn’t think of himself as small, but the feeling of fitting so snugly into Yuchan’s arms was peculiar.
Surprised, he gently pushed him away. Then he looked back and forth between his house and Yuchan with wide eyes.
“What brings you here so suddenly?”
“I just wanted to see you.”
“Tell me honestly. What’s going on?”
“I’m serious. You always brush off words like these.”
In the end, Dohyeong ended up laughing as he watched Yuchan grumbling.
He was one of the people who had held him when he fell from the cliff. A friend who constantly encouraged him, telling him he could stand up again, and sought him out whenever possible to spend time together.
The two of them, who debuted the same year and were called classmates, stayed together until the moment Dohyeong married Haesung and then separated from him.
Yuchan was the one who introduced him to a hospital, found a comfortable place to exercise, and even connected him with an acting academy.
A person who had been a strength in every moment of Dohyeong’s life. Someone who became a small stepping stone to help him stand again. Perhaps that’s why Yuchan had become so precious to him.
“I came because I have something to tell you.”
“Something to tell me? What is it?”
Yuchan’s sullen face brightened. He grabbed Dohyeong’s hand firmly, straightened his shoulders, and excitedly began to speak.
“We’re going to see each other a lot from now on.”
“…What does that mean? We already see each other often.”
“More, more frequently, much more than now.”
It was a puzzling statement, but seeing how he was talking around the subject, it was clear he wasn’t going to explain its meaning right away.
“You came all the way here just to say that? What about your schedule?”
“I have to leave right now.”
“What? Then you could have just called. Why come all the way here if you’re going to be late?”
“I calculated everything before I moved, so don’t worry. But I feel a bit hurt.”
Hurt? Why? Dohyeong’s eyes trembled slightly.
It seemed he hadn’t fully recovered yet. Judging by how his heart sank at those words and how he worried about what he had done wrong or what mistake he had made.
Seeing Dohyeong’s lips quiver slightly, Yuchan laughed loudly and messed up his hair.
“I’m joking, just joking. I just said it, so don’t look at me like that.”
“Hey, I’m sweaty! I told you I just came from working out!”
He couldn’t look at his face as he tried to avoid Yuchan’s touch. It seemed like he might have been wearing a somewhat bitter expression.
As he stepped back a couple of paces to avoid his hand, he heard a loud bang! of a car horn and the sound of wheels accelerating from behind.
“Dohyeong!”
With that brief exclamation, he felt Yuchan’s hand firmly supporting his waist and pulling him in. When he turned his head in surprise, he saw Yuchan’s flushed face.
The car sped past, but the two of them stood there frozen, staring at each other.
Dohyeong was gripping Yuchan’s clothes tightly, and Yuchan was firmly supporting Dohyeong’s back, holding him.
His breath caught. He didn’t understand why his heart was dropping like this when it wasn’t the first time he’d seen Yuchan’s face.
After staring at him for a long time, he finally came to his senses. Embarrassed, he gently pushed him away.
“Th-thanks.”
Yuchan’s lips curled up ever so slightly as he looked at the awkward Dohyeong.
“Pay more attention. How can I let a careless kid like you out in the world?”
“You’re not my father…”
“Yeah, I feel like I’ve left a child by the water. Happy now?”
Yuchan, who had been laughing and reaching out his hand, clenched it tightly in mid-air. Then he shoved his hands into his pants pockets, pointlessly lifted his heels a couple of times before putting them back down, and smiled bitterly.
“Anyway, I’m happy thinking I’ll get to see you often. That’s why I came to tell you.”
“I keep asking what that means. I need to know so I can be happy for you or congratulate you.”
“It’s not something to be congratulated for.”
Yuchan evaded the answer. At that moment, as he was about to say something with a cryptic expression, his phone alarm rang frantically.
“Ah, that tone. Anyway, I have to go. See you soon!”
Yuchan, shaking his head a couple of times and sighing, stepped backward. His face was spread with a bright smile as he raised his hand and waved it enthusiastically.
“Huh? Are you coming to visit? Hey, Yuchan. Choi Yuchan!”
Although he called out his name and followed him, the answer he wanted didn’t come back. He could only watch silently as Yuchan got into a van and disappeared.
“…What was that, really?”
Dohyeong, blinking his eyes in bewilderment, let his shoulders slump. Somehow, it felt as if heat was rising from his waist where Yuchan’s hand had touched.
