# Chapter 10. Nothing is Certain (5)
All eyes turn to Yuchan.
In the gazes quietly observing him, numerous questions were intertwined.
It was a question that caught him off guard, but everyone knew how public opinion could completely reverse with his single answer.
“I…”
Yuchan gripped the microphone tightly while swallowing. And he quietly looked at Dohyeong sitting beside him.
Why does one corner of his heart ache so much under the name of friendship?
As the journalists’ attention concentrated, his eyes met with his manager standing where his gaze was directed.
Seeing him pale and shaking his head, Yuchan snapped to his senses. Then he turned his head and faintly smiled at the journalists.
“I think that’s also interest in <Glass Holding Stars>. Although I’m not without burden as I have to express emotions beyond friendship with Kim Dohyeong-ssi, who’s my peer, I would appreciate it if you continued to view it from that perspective.”
“So are you saying there are some romantic feelings, even if just a little?”
“Choi Yuchan-ssi, there are also quite a few speculations that you accepted the casting offer because special feelings blossomed with Kim Dohyeong-ssi, please respond!”
“Many say that the frequent sightings of you two together must have another meaning!”
Yuchan scratched his head as if perplexed by the barrage of questions coming from everywhere.
Yet, he couldn’t grasp what these swirling emotions within him were. He didn’t know why the mention of being in a special relationship with Dohyeong stabbed so deeply into one corner of his heart.
He couldn’t understand why the words wouldn’t properly come out, when he could easily say, don’t link friends in that way.
After contemplating for a moment, looking only at the pure white table, Yuchan raised his head and slowly opened his mouth.
“I accepted the casting offer purely out of respect for Director Na. The director’s works always pierce deep into the inner depths of people. The director has his own unique way of conveying messages, and isn’t that why so many actors want to work with him?”
“……”
“Saying I accepted the casting offer for personal reasons… I think that tramples on Director Na’s abilities and the efforts of other actors who tried to appear in this drama. Since this is also a direction of talk where I cannot avoid criticism, I would appreciate it if you could refrain from that aspect.”
At Yuchan’s words, some cleared their throats, and others exchanged glances and slightly averted their eyes. It was a stinging rebuke.
And Yuchan took another deep breath. It was time to convey the most important message.
There are no romantic feelings. Purely as a friend who supports his path forward, he just wants to walk alongside him on the path he’s chosen as a fellow actor. There were many prepared words in his head.
“Additionally, regarding questions related to Kim Dohyeong-ssi… I can’t provide an answer. If we discuss private emotions in a place where public matters are being discussed, wouldn’t there be a possibility that today’s press conference could flow in a completely different direction? This place today is for the director and the cast, not a press conference to discuss my private feelings.”
He had thrown out a meaningful statement. He knew that too.
No matter what interview venue he went to in the future, this question would follow him persistently. He also knew that his response would be a topic of discussion from social media to internet communities. Perhaps, his single response could even affect Dohyeong.
“I won’t take the next question. Thank you.”
But the answer prepared in his mind didn’t come out.
As he put down the microphone with a brightly smiling voice, journalists enthusiastically released their camera shutters.
They checked if they had recorded properly and blinked their eyes while typing on keyboards, examining if there were any missed parts.
Dohyeong was equally surprised. He reached out under the table to poke him, and as soon as their eyes met, he mouthed, what are you doing?
But Yuchan only shrugged his shoulders and didn’t make any other gesture.
Thinking about it again, with his response, Dohyeong could somewhat escape from the rumors with Haesung.
Of course, there would be new rumors with him, and he would be caught up in the issue, but there must certainly be a difference between someone who’s already over and someone newly beginning.
Amidst all this, what felt even stranger was that he wasn’t upset at all about the scandal with Dohyeong.
Although he was concerned about the great ripple effects of what was to come, it didn’t go beyond that.
Just as he was about to turn his head again with another smile, his eyes met Haesung’s. After meeting that gaze that seemed to want to kill him for a while, he faintly smiled and turned his head toward the journalists.
Somehow, it felt refreshing. Making Kim Dohyeong escape from Jung Haesung.
Pulling Kim Dohyeong, who was even slightly caught in his fence, toward his side.
Yuchan couldn’t quite understand why that felt so good.
***
After the press conference ended, the actors could only come out of the waiting room after all the journalists had left.
At the word that it’s okay to leave now, Dohyeong, who rushed out of the waiting room, first headed to Yuchan’s waiting room, who had finished preparations to leave.
“Hey, Choi Yuchan!”
Surprised by his appearance as he flung open the door, Yuchan blinked his eyes a couple of times while collecting his bag. Then he gave a signal to his manager.
It was a sign to step out for a moment.
Sensing the seriousness of the situation, Wootae urged Yuchan’s manager and pulled him outside. With the sound of the door closing, Dohyeong strode over.
“Are you crazy? How could you say something like that? Those words will be published in the articles exactly as they are! You should have said that we’re friends, that there are no feelings beyond that, and not to distort it.”
Watching Dohyeong firmly emphasizing the word “friends,” he didn’t know why it felt so unpleasant. Ruminating on the somewhat displeased feeling, Yuchan scratched his head and crossed his arms.
“Why should I?”
“Why should you?”
“Yes, why should I.”
“Are you seriously saying that right now?”
“If it wasn’t meant to be said, I wouldn’t have said it.”
“I’m not in the mood for jokes.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t joking either.”
Dohyeong snorted in disbelief at Yuchan, who wasn’t giving an inch in his responses. He pushed his hair up, stood askew with his hands on his waist, looked up at him, and then let out a big sigh.
“Are you serious? Does that make any sense?”
At his final question, implying “you and me?”, Yuchan’s brow twitched.
After looking down at Dohyeong while tightly grasping his crossed arms, he looked down at the floor. He didn’t know why his insides were churning so much.
Without even knowing how complex his feelings were.
Without even looking at what kind of worries and concerns he was going through. Seeing him ask so matter-of-factly, he wanted to be petulant.
With the hope that he would worry as much as himself. Because it was unfair that only he felt so complicated.
“What if I am serious?”
He had thrown it out with such feelings, but once he actually said it, his face heated up.
Serious? That can’t be. No, it could be serious. Otherwise, why would he go through this kind of deliberation?
Ambivalent feelings and thoughts scrambled his mind. His throat area became hot, and then his mouth froze solid.
Although there was enough time to take back what he had already said, he didn’t want to. Without his own will, it wasn’t even an option.
“What?”
Seeing Dohyeong’s surprised face made it even more so.
Why must I remain just a friend to you? Is it that only I have to be in such confusion without direction?
This was the result created by the collision of those numerous thoughts.
“What would you do if I were serious.”
Though his heart was pounding, he felt proud of himself for maintaining a rather calm voice.
While he was just swallowing dry saliva due to tension, he saw Dohyeong chuckling and tilting his head askew.
“Hey, do you think that makes any sense?”
For a moment, he felt like he’d been hit on the head. Why doesn’t it make sense? He just silently stared at Dohyeong with strength in his mouth, wanting to ask back.
“Does romantic attraction exist? Between you and me?”
Those words pierced deep into his heart.
Why not you and me? He had a burning desire to ask. He put maximum strength into his trembling hands and exhaled briefly.
At heart, he wanted to throw words like let’s open up that possibility, why do you only think it’s not possible, but.
Words are useless when said in a state where one’s own feelings aren’t clear. After all, he couldn’t carelessly utter words that couldn’t be taken back in the future.
He didn’t want to take back the words “what if I am serious,” but he ended up taking them back in another way.
As if it had been a joke, as if it had been a word thrown out because the reaction was interesting.
“I did it to help you.”
“What?”
“You keep getting entangled with Jung Haesung. Even if the drama comes out and your acting has grown, it’s obvious that all the focus will eventually lead to Jung Haesung. Rather than that, it’s better to cover it with a new scandal. At least it won’t lead to talk about the past. Don’t you agree?”
It was a plausible statement. After all, journalists had consistently brought up stories about Haesung and about the time when he temporarily suspended his activities.
As he said, it might be more comfortable to have rumors about his relationship with Yuchan and various speculations circulating about them.
If he continued to be entangled with Haesung, it would clearly shake him in its own way.
After thinking for a while, Dohyeong exhaled with a sigh and nodded.
“Yeah, well… that makes sense when you think about it that way. But I’m worried about you too.”
“Me? Why me?”
“What good is it for you to be entangled with me? You’re on a roll in your own right, and if I were to cause you any harm… I mean, the stories about me that circulate among people—”
At that moment, Yuchan grabbed Dohyeong’s face with both hands.
His insides churned at the startled eyes looking up at him. He almost impulsively brought his face closer. For no reason, he narrowed his brow intensely and put strength into his fingertips.
“Don’t worry about unnecessary things.”
He wanted to hold onto Dohyeong’s wavering eyes. The desire to firmly support him in his precariousness was growing uncontrollably.
“I won’t be shaken if your story is added to mine. I’m, a solid person. Both in what I’ve built up.”
“…But.”
“And what great mistake did you make? What did you mess up so badly? You didn’t do anything wrong, you didn’t make any mistakes. You just encountered waves, but the breakwater was inadequate. That’s all. Would I collapse over such a thing? Those who try to bring you down like that are strange. It’s those people who are wrong.”
He saw Dohyeong biting his lip hard. This expression he made at times like these was particularly poignant and distressing today.
Don’t waver, don’t push it as your fault. Reflecting on numerous thoughts, he opened his mouth again. Though it conveyed sincere heartfelt feelings, it also conveyed a doubt about whether this would really be enough.
“So use me as your breakwater. No matter what waves come crashing, don’t waver. Dohyeong-ah. The path you believe is right, what you want to do. And freely challenge the things you’ve wanted to do. Show them like that. That’s enough for me, that’s sufficient.”
