The awkward silence lingered only briefly.
“Speak.”
“I want to drink more beer.”
Their words overlapped again.
“Alright. Let’s drink more beer for now.”
Siwoo laughed softly and shook his head as he spoke, and Evan ordered another beer.
“What kind of serious talk could there be between us? You already decided to do ‘Lucifer.'”
“That was something you obviously had to do.”
“Wow, look at you talk. Where’s the ‘obviously’ in that?”
Siwoo raised his hand and lightly smacked Evan’s thigh.
It was strange. Right now Evan wasn’t smiling at all, but he seemed incredibly happy. And with his scent felt so intensely, Siwoo rubbed under his nose with his other hand.
He should probably go to the hospital. It didn’t make sense logically that he, a Beta, could smell an Alpha’s pheromones. He’d heard that occasionally, very rarely, there were people who manifested late.
But even if that were the case, there were more than one or two strange things about it. When he playfully hugged Yechan, or when he slept lying next to Chan because he was tired, Siwoo didn’t smell any scent from them.
Rather than not smelling any scent, it would be more accurate to say he didn’t smell anything he thought of as pheromones. But then why could he only feel Evan’s?
On top of that, what kept circling in his head was the word ‘pair.’ Evan had said more that day, but no matter how much he tried to recall, he couldn’t remember the other words.
While the two were fooling around, the new beer arrived. Siwoo quickly drank the beer with white foam on top.
“It’s nothing serious, but I like you.”
Siwoo’s head, which had been about to pull his lips away from the glass after drinking the beer, slowly turned toward Evan.
And he blinked a few times to understand what he had just said.
“Of course, I don’t mean I like you as a friend, or I like you as a fellow member.”
As if to help Siwoo define it, Evan continued a bit more.
Siwoo had clearly been about to pull his lips away from the glass, but he chose to drink more instead.
“You said I could say whatever I wanted to say, so that’s what I’m saying.”
Having emptied the beer that had just come out, Siwoo set the glass down with a sound. Then he wiped his wet lips with the back of his hand.
“Then I’ll say what I want to say too.”
Siwoo was absolutely not someone who would get drunk on two beers. Having heard such words, he couldn’t just stay still. Last time he had hesitated for a long time and agonized alone. And the ending was emptiness itself.
“I want to try doing an overseas tour concert.”
There was no mood, and it wasn’t a proper situation for a confession. The words he had been trying hard to suppress came flowing out of Evan’s mouth on their own. But the response that came back to his confession was work-related.
“I also want to be invited to and go to a music awards show.”
Evan thought that Siwoo hadn’t properly heard what he said. Because it was such a different response. Moreover, Siwoo didn’t seem surprised or flustered.
Right now Siwoo was looking straight into his eyes. He wasn’t tipsy either.
“There are so many things I want to try.”
Saying that, Siwoo moved a little closer to Evan.
Evan had stayed in that spot ever since saying those words.
Lowering his gaze, Siwoo reached out and took his hand. It’s warm. Evan’s hands were always warm.
He tried placing his own hand against that large hand.
Traits, what are they? Family differences, what are they? What is blocking the space between us?
Why did I agonize and hesitate so much?
Can’t I do everything? I’m going to go back anyway.
As he moved his fingers slowly, fingers of different sizes gently intertwined. Even until then, Evan kept his hand relaxed and stayed still as Siwoo did what he wanted. Siwoo looked at the intertwined fingers.
“I want to do everything I want to do. I don’t want to have regrets. That’s why I’m doing ‘Lucifer’ too. If not this time, I don’t know when an opportunity like this will come to me again. I don’t know if I can do everything well either. But Evan.”
He knows. Though he himself was avoiding eye contact like this, Evan had been looking only at Siwoo from the beginning until now.
“You know you really have no sense of mood, right?”
Siwoo’s eyes sparkled as he lifted his head slightly.
On the other hand, Evan’s brow furrowed gently.
“Let’s go.”
“Kim Siwoo.”
“Let’s go. Myunghun hyung will be looking for us.”
“Siwoo-ya.”
“Hurry up and get up. We’ll get in trouble if we go late. Plus, we have a concept meeting tomorrow morning.”
Evan still wasn’t putting strength into his hand, but Siwoo put strength into his own hand and clasped their fingers together. Then he gently shook their joined hands.
“Coco.”
As if he couldn’t grasp the situation, Evan’s expression hardened further. He could fully feel that he was quite confused right now. Last time only painful emotions had come through, but lately these kinds of things were quite fun.
Even though he seemed expressionless, Evan had quite a variety of emotions.
He might be mistaken because he’d gone crazy from repeated regressions, but anyway, looking at the situation, it seemed like these were the emotions Evan was feeling.
“You know. Sometimes I think. Really occasionally, what if I were an Omega? You can feel emotions through pheromones, right? Generally people hide their pheromones tightly, but I heard that in really deep relationships, they don’t hide them. If I were an Omega, would I know? You seem flustered right now. I think you’re also a bit annoyed because I’m saying strange things.”
Evan’s hardened expression gradually relaxed.
“You must have been surprised this time. Like, how does this kid know my heart? Something like that.”
Siwoo tried saying what he felt as it was.
“Evan. You know my answer.”
Siwoo couldn’t lay everything bare. Because he knew how unstable his repeating life was. And honestly, he didn’t know. Evan was saying he liked him, but rather, because he heard those words, his heart ached.
The time Siwoo and Evan spent together. He didn’t know at all what kind of memories they had built from their trainee days until now, or what emotions they had shared. They said their relationship hadn’t been that good, so what kind of feelings had there been between them?
Since there was no time to dawdle further, Siwoo, who was getting up and trying to unclasp their hands, couldn’t.
Evan’s hand, which had been obediently staying as he did until just now, had moved. He had been holding on tightly, but now the one who put in strength and wouldn’t unclasp their fingers was Evan.
“Siwoo, you know. My emotions, my pheromones, everything.”
Standing up, Siwoo looked down at Evan who was sitting. The soft light gently illuminated the face of Evan who had tilted his head back. He’d seen this look before.
Siwoo looked around while avoiding his gaze. A spot hidden by a pillar. And all the seats close to them were empty.
And he bent his upper body slightly to pick up his ball cap next to Evan.
Honestly, the ball cap was an excuse. The moment he saw Evan’s face looking up at him, an impulse arose.
Siwoo’s lips stayed on Evan’s lips for a very brief moment before pulling away. Siwoo straightened his body with the ball cap held in his hand.
“Evan, even if I know, I don’t know.”
Siwoo spoke honestly. Even if he knew, he didn’t know. Because he didn’t know what this phenomenon meant. Since there was nothing he could define with certainty, even if he knew, he didn’t know.
Siwoo’s body, which had been taking off his hood to put on his ball cap, swayed. And Siwoo was sitting on Evan’s legs.
Siwoo, who realized what position he was in now, struggled to get up, but Evan wrapping his arms around Siwoo’s waist was faster. Holding Siwoo like that, Evan buried his face in Siwoo’s shoulder.
“Hey.”
Struggling, Siwoo tried to remove Evan’s arms. That small rustling made Evan’s heart beat faster. He couldn’t read Siwoo’s emotions now. But the plum scent still wafted strongly from Siwoo.
My Omega. My pair.
“Evan.”
He must be afraid someone might see.
Because Coco, you were like that. You were so very cautious and hid well.
He knew he should let go, but he couldn’t easily do so. Siwoo’s hands, which had tried to push away at first, now lightly touched Evan’s forearm as if patting it.
“……”
A familiar bell sound rang.
“Yes. Hyung.”
Before Evan could stop him, Siwoo answered his ringing cell phone. And he responded in a small voice.
“No. I’m with Evan. We were about to leave……”
“Where are you?”
Myunghun’s angry voice reached even Evan. Evan and Siwoo had disappeared together, but it was Myunghun getting angry at the easier target, Siwoo.
“If you talk like this, we might not come in at all.”
Evan, who snatched the cell phone from Siwoo’s hand, spoke in a cold voice. Siwoo couldn’t hear what Myunghun was saying.
“We just need to not miss tomorrow’s concept meeting, right? I’m hanging up. We’re coming in now.”
Evan, who unilaterally ended the call, finally let Siwoo go. The warm body quickly disappeared. Standing in front, Siwoo took off his hood and pressed the ball cap down deep.
“Let’s pretend you didn’t hear what I said today.”
I was hasty. Slowly getting up, Evan touched Siwoo’s head over the cap.
“No.”
He does this sometimes. Siwoo quite often, and quite well, did things that exceeded his expectations.
“Kim Siwoo.”
“Your feelings. They’re not that light.”
Is it back to square one again?
“Evan, I properly heard what you said. You’re the one who didn’t properly hear my answer, you idiot.”
Siwoo brushed away Evan’s hand that was patting his head.
Idiot. Who said Evan was smart? A Mensa member? That his family has been smart for generations? He can’t understand what people are saying at all, so what’s so smart about that? Just because I spoke a bit indirectly, he’s digging himself into a hole.
“I said I’d do everything. I want to do an overseas tour concert, and I want to go to a music awards show. And I said I want to get along well with you too. You’re really a stupid idiot. Evan. Ugh…… I don’t know why I’m doing this when I like someone like this.”
Leaving behind Evan standing with a surprised expression, Siwoo’s ears and both cheeks as he walked ahead were redder than ever, but the deeply pressed ball cap and the hood pulled over it covered everything. Even the sound of his heart pounding and thumping like crazy.
