“How have you been?”
While Siwoo’s heart was pounding and he was anxiously unsure how to look at Evan’s face, Evan’s attitude toward him was no different from usual.
Flustered and unable to answer, Siwoo sat down in the chair as the staff member guided him. On one side of the shop was a room for a small group of two or three people.
Jinwook said he would park and then buy coffee from a cafe, so Siwoo, who had gotten out of the car first, simply followed the staff member’s guidance and came in here. He never dreamed he would end up meeting Evan.
The only people in the small space were himself, Evan, and two shop staff members. Since he didn’t want to have any kind of conversation in front of someone he wasn’t even close with, Siwoo fumbled as he opened his backpack.
Should he ask why his phone was turned off? Or should he talk about what happened that day?
Too many scenarios played out simultaneously in Siwoo’s mind. Since they were sitting side by side, he could see him reflected in the mirror if he raised his head. But Siwoo didn’t raise his head and took out a book from his bag.
“I heard today is the program title shoot? We need to make Siwoo-ssi look pretty.”
Instead of answering, Siwoo smiled softly at the shop staff. Whether you make me pretty or whatever, just do it quickly and let me get out of this space.
“You didn’t eat breakfast, right?”
Following the sound of the door opening and closing, Evan’s voice was heard. However, because of the packs covering his entire face to reduce puffiness, he couldn’t open his eyes or speak. Moistened cloths were also placed over his eyes and lips.
“Why is your phone turned off? All the ‘Journey’ members are curious.”
Was he deliberately asking this question now? Siwoo couldn’t express his intentions with facial expressions, eye contact, or voice right now. To convey that he didn’t want to discuss this deeply, Siwoo tapped the book resting on his knee with his fingertips.
“Pretend you didn’t hear what I said that day. I wasn’t in my right mind. I had no intention of confusing you. I sincerely apologize.”
Since he couldn’t see, he couldn’t read emotions from his expression. But he could feel from his voice alone that he was truly sorry. Siwoo, whose personality couldn’t drag out uncomfortable situations for long, stopped tapping the book with a steady rhythm.
Siwoo wasn’t cruel enough to be harsh with someone who bowed their head first. But he also didn’t want to return to a comfortable relationship with him like before. He erased everything from his mind—things like being the leader of Ocean with an incredibly massive fandom that couldn’t be ignored, or being his fan.
Setting aside traits, social status, wealth, family background, and everything else—a relationship between human and human, connected through work. That was the relationship Siwoo wanted.
Siwoo’s fingers, which had been still, slowly moved. Since he couldn’t express himself otherwise, he was trying to answer with his hands.
Evan was watching Siwoo’s fingers moving little by little. Seeing Siwoo after a week, he was exactly the same as usual. Sometimes when his energy was high, he was light as if about to fly and bounced around, but his usual self was like a slowly flowing great river.
He seemed momentarily flustered upon seeing him, but didn’t show it outwardly.
He had many things he wanted to say, and he wanted to see that cute face. But Siwoo desperately didn’t look at him. He was the one who had collapsed the tower they had carefully built up. If it collapses dozens of times, just build it hundreds of times.
When the staff left after putting packs on Siwoo’s face before starting basic makeup, Evan turned his body entirely to look at him. He had been reading “Sherlock Holmes” last time too, and today the book he brought was also “Sherlock Holmes.”
He placed the book neatly on his lap, and his small hands stroked the soft cover of the book.
Evan glanced at his watch for a moment.
Siwoo’s agency was thoroughly on Siwoo’s side. Along with protecting their affiliated artist, they had expressed their view that they would absolutely not schedule any work the artist didn’t want.
There was no reason to mess with an agency that was small but running well without debt. They couldn’t schedule new work, but he said he would attend all schedules related to ‘Journey.’
And that week had been a time of waiting.
Siwoo, who had turned off his phone, hadn’t taken a single step outside his home. Knowing there were reporters waiting for him outside, he didn’t even go near the window.
At the most innocuous question about meals, his small body trembled. Whether anxious, his fingertips that had been gently touching the book tapped it with a steady rhythm. At that small change in behavior, a gentle smile formed on Evan’s face. There was plenty of time. There were plenty of opportunities.
The fingertips that had been tapping the book stopped along with his apology. And silence enveloped the two of them.
Perhaps apologizing was easier because he couldn’t see his face. If he had read what emotions were contained in those clear, dark eyes, no action would have been easy.
The softly playing classical music filled the suffocating waiting time. And Siwoo’s fingertips, which had been still, slowly moved. Since he couldn’t convey his intentions through expressions or words, he was clearly trying to answer with his fingers.
His index finger and thumb, which had been wriggling, curled into a circle. At the small gesture accepting his apology, a smile gradually bloomed on Evan’s face, which had been stiff with tension. Just from that small action, Evan’s heart changed from hell to heaven.
Feeling like laughter would burst out, Evan covered his lower face with his hand. The small hand making an ‘OK’ sign and gently waving created ripples that started from his chest.
“Ah! Coco. You’re really… driving me crazy. What am I going to do with you.”
Evan jumped up from his seat. He could see Siwoo flinch at the sound of his movement, but he couldn’t stop his actions.
“Have some coffee.”
Approaching Siwoo, who was sitting in a chair in the shop just a few steps away, was by no means difficult. But that distance became wider than the Pacific Ocean with Jinwook’s appearance.
“Siwoo, hot americano, and Evan-ssi, is iced americano okay? There’s also slice cake.”
Starting with Jinwook’s appearance, the staff who had briefly left their posts came in, so the conversation between Siwoo and Evan didn’t continue for long.
Once the packs on his face were removed, Siwoo only rolled his eyes to steal glances at Evan reflected in the mirror. When their eyes briefly met in the mirror, he quickly rolled his eyes the other way.
He held the warm americano with both hands and drank it slowly.
Since he had already expressed that he accepted his apology, there was nothing more to be awkward about. He just hoped not to get entangled with him unnecessarily during the remaining filming.
* * *
“Oh! It’s Siwoo-hyung.”
As soon as he arrived at the filming location, Siwoo was greeting people from behind so as not to interfere with filming when he suddenly stiffened at the large shadow covering him.
“How have you been?”
Hugged from behind and suddenly lifted and shaken side to side, Siwoo couldn’t speak properly and only managed to answer after Yechan put him down.
“Hyung completely went off the grid. No one could contact you, and I even contacted your agency! Kuk.”
Yechan, who had been grumbling while looking down at Siwoo, suddenly had his collar grabbed and was dragged away as he quickly inhaled.
“If filming’s over, go rest or something.”
Expressionless, Evan only released the clothes he was holding after Yechan was a certain distance away from Siwoo.
“Ah. Hyung only does this to me! Siwoo-hyung. What are you doing after filming today?”
Yechan, who approached Siwoo’s side again as if he had never been dragged away by Evan, grabbed one of Siwoo’s hands and bent his upper body slightly to match eye level. Evan, who had been standing beside them with a stiff expression, was seen having a brief conversation with someone before going somewhere.
“After filming? I don’t have anything.”
Siwoo, who answered Yechan’s question earnestly, waved his free hand when he saw Ian, who was filming in front of the green chroma key backdrop, waving at him.
Making eye contact and greeting everyone he made eye contact with, greeting Ian who was acknowledging him from afar, and even Yechan who was fussing right in front of him… Siwoo was overwhelmed.
“Siwoo’s here? After Ian’s shoot is the group shoot, so go to the waiting room and change clothes.”
When the main writer, who was passing by Siwoo, saw him and told him what to do along with a greeting, Siwoo turned his steps toward the waiting room without complaint.
“Hyung! Go eat with me. Hyung, what do you like?”
In this complicated and hectic situation, only Yechan stood out as he stayed by Siwoo’s side. Where did Jinwook-hyung go again?
“I’m fine with anything.”
“What do you mean anything? Beef is okay, right? There’s a really delicious Korean beef restaurant near here.”
Seeing Yechan, who had followed him all the way to the waiting room, Siwoo shook his head slightly. Since he had been contacted that this shoot would involve wearing sponsored company clothes, he had come dressed comfortably in casual clothes. After rummaging through the clothes hanging on the rack and confirming the one with his name on it, Siwoo took out the clothes and tossed them onto the sofa next to him.
Having a meal with Yechan wasn’t difficult. But words agreeing to do so didn’t come out easily.
“Did you really not contact anyone? Not even Evan-hyung?”
“I came back from filming and maybe because the tension released, I got sick and rested deeply. My manager-hyung bought me food and stuff.”
“I thought so. I went on the radio and called hyung, but hyung didn’t answer, so I was totally embarrassed. Since hyung didn’t appear in our chat room, everyone was like ‘Did something happen? What should we do?'”
“Really? Sorry. I didn’t know. If you appeared on the radio, you should have called the other guys, why did you call me?”
Siwoo took off the knit he was wearing, left it on the sofa, and picked up the T-shirt he needed to change into.
“Just, on the radio they asked about what we filmed and as we were talking, hyung came up in the conversation, and since everyone was curious I called… Wow! Hyung, your body really… I felt it then too but it’s really pretty.”
It’s not like he couldn’t change clothes just because someone was next to him, and what’s the big deal among guys, Siwoo chuckled looking at Yechan sitting on the sofa and looking up at him.
You say it’s pretty. Someone else was really irritated about it.
“Pretty, my foot. I really wish I was as tall and well-built as you.”
“No way. Hyung is super skinny, but you still have nice lean muscles. Your waist is totally like a handful, a handful. Let’s eat and gain some weight, us. So after we finish, beef?”
“Everything leads back to food?”
Siwoo, who had put on the T-shirt, brought his hands to his belt.
“Coco. Can’t you please be more careful?”
Siwoo, who had been unbuckling his belt, looked toward the door at the voice that felt not just low but dark like a threat.
