“Ugh. I’m dying. I can’t. Can’t go.”
Even while watching Luca lying on a bench and waving his hands back and forth as soon as he got off the roller coaster, Yechan kept glancing at Evan. There was no way he wouldn’t notice his prank, but seeing him act like nothing happened made him even more anxious.
He’d held hands with Siwoo and rode the roller coaster right next to him, so not knowing made no sense.
Evan only stared at Siwoo who was letting go of the hand he’d been holding tightly, saying, “You’re okay now, right?” Frighteningly, his pheromones that he’d put on Siwoo remained as they were. Rather, he’d feel more at ease if they had switched while the two of them were stuck together riding the roller coaster. Currently, Evan knew all of this but wasn’t showing any reaction whatsoever.
“Luca hyung. You made such a fuss about not being able to ride, but you still had fun.”
“Yechan-ah. Give me a piggyback. I have no strength in my legs.”
“You really have acrophobia? I heard there was such a thing, was it true?”
Louis, who had been fooling around in front of Luca lying down, eventually laughed loudly watching Luca get on Yechan’s back.
“You didn’t know? When I went bungee jumping with our team, I couldn’t jump alone.”
“Was it fun?”
The audio overlapped as everyone was saying what they had to say, but no one cared. Siwoo put on the tiger headband he’d taken off properly.
“We reserved two 5-person safari vehicles, so we’ll split into two teams and ride. Watch the safety video first.”
As expected, it was the PD’s job to herd the members scattering here and there to the next filming location.
On the way to the safari tour, Siwoo glanced up at Evan walking next to him. He remembered what he’d forgotten while riding the roller coaster for a moment.
“Why aren’t you saying anything?”
“Hm?”
Siwoo groped his waist and turned off the microphone he was wearing. As if noticing his action, Evan was also touching around his waist.
“You said you did something wrong to me.”
“……”
“Are you angry right now by any chance?”
The one who was angry should be Siwoo, but he couldn’t answer Siwoo’s question asking if he was angry at him instead. It was true that he’d done wrong, but he couldn’t explain his situation either. What Evan could choose was silence. He knew he should apologize, but he didn’t want to apologize.
“Yechan told me everything. You’ve been putting your pheromones on me this whole time, right? And now it seems like Yechan put his on. Was it fun making a fool of me when I don’t know even though you guys put pheromones on me however you want?”
There were no significant ups and downs in the intonation of Siwoo speaking while following people. Their steps gradually slowed, and before they knew it, the two had distanced themselves from the people going ahead. His voice was small, but every syllable, every single syllable he brought out stuck into Evan’s chest. Siwoo wasn’t angry right now. He was disappointed in him, hurt, and wanted to cry.
But those complex emotions were completely hiding themselves behind a calm tone and nonchalant expression.
“I want to erase the pheromones or whatever, but they say there’s no deodorant right now. I’m stuck having to go around like this all day. Are you guys having fun? This seems like a very rude childish prank.”
When talking with Yechan, he appropriately adjusted it gently and easily finished it by asking him not to play such pranks. Yechan apologized politely, and Luca, who was listening to the conversation from the side, also said he wouldn’t do that. Like that, after hearing their apologies, he could shake off the upset feelings.
But the moment he brought up the story to Evan, Siwoo saw rock bottom from the emotions rising up. Since it’s a mean prank, warn him not to do it in the future, hear an apology, and it’ll be over.
“Coco.”
Evan’s voice calling him was tightly locked.
“Apologize. And say you won’t do it in the future. Then I’ll understand.”
The distance from the people going ahead grew further and further, but their footsteps didn’t quicken.
“Why are you crying?”
He gave him the question and simultaneously stated the answer he wanted. But at the absurd words that returned, Siwoo bit down hard on his lower lip. He didn’t cry. He hadn’t cried. He wanted to cry, and it seemed like tears would fall, but he was holding back.
He didn’t know why he felt this emotion. He was hurt. He was displeased. This emotion was the right emotion, so why was he sad?
“What are you talking about? Why would I cry? I’m angry at you. So you’re not going to apologize?”
“I’m sorry.”
The moment he heard Evan’s apology, Siwoo stopped the footsteps he’d been walking slowly until now. His left chest was completely blocked. This kind of pain was a first. Siwoo, who had stopped, pressed his left chest with both hands and slowly lowered his body and crouched down.
This shouldn’t be happening, but he couldn’t stop the tears dripping down. The pain that had made him curl up disappeared. The terrible pain disappeared but it was cold. It hurt. It felt like someone was tearing at his chest, and his whole body trembled.
Evan, who had lowered his body at the same time he crouched down, was right in front of him.
“What is this?”
Gasping for breath, Siwoo muttered. Are these my emotions? Are they someone else’s emotions? These complicated and strange emotions.
It felt like the world had stopped. Pain and sadness, joy, indignation. All the emotions he knew ran wild.
“Coco.”
The hand grabbing his forearm. And he heard Evan’s voice calling him.
“……”
It disappeared. Everything disappeared as if it had never been there from the beginning. Even the tears that had been flowing uncontrollably stopped as if asking when that had happened.
Siwoo slowly raised his head. He saw Evan looking at him with a worried expression.
Siwoo quickly pulled up his sleeve and rubbed his face that must be a mess. He brushed off his hand that was holding his arm and stood up from his spot.
“Are you okay?”
Burdened by his gaze that kept trying to look at him, Siwoo lowered his head diagonally.
“Anyway, don’t play pranks with pheromones in the future. Yechan and Luca hyung also agreed not to do it, and they said they’d tell Hyunsu hyung too. And if anyone says anything, say something got in your eyes.”
Siwoo turned on the microphone he’d been keeping off until now to express that he was done talking.
“Coco.”
“I’m like this sometimes. It’s nothing to worry about. Let’s go quickly. We’re late.”
Evan stared at Siwoo who was scurrying away. Since he was clenching his molars tightly, his jawline stood out. As much time as he stopped here, Siwoo got farther away. He could see the small shoulders going up and down as he took deep breaths in and out, regulating his breathing.
Evan raised one hand and swept his face. The filming was almost over now. Would he be able to stay by his side with the name of friend even after filming ended? Could he really pull him up to his side? The image of him firmly telling him to apologize just now came to mind.
Siwoo had regarded what he’d done until now as mean pranks by alphas and wanted an apology. If he knew all the facts, he wasn’t confident he could accept the decision he’d make. He hoped he’d make the same decision as himself. But if he didn’t?
If he walked away turning his back like now, could he watch that until the end?
The footsteps of Siwoo, who had been walking far ahead for a while, stopped. He turned around, looking around as if searching for him. He couldn’t hide the fact that he’d just cried. His reddened eyes and nose tip were visible at a glance.
“Hurry up.”
As if he’d forgotten everything that just happened, he was smiling brightly and spreading both arms, shaking them up and down wildly. Evan took short breaths and ran. He ran without hesitation toward Siwoo who was standing waiting for him.
And when he arrived in front of him, he pulled Siwoo into a tight embrace.
“I won’t do it. Whatever it is that you hate, I won’t do it, so don’t be angry. Being angry is really scary.”
“Ugh, are you showing off your strength to me? We’re late. They said we’re also feeding bears later, are you scared of that too by any chance?”
Siwoo, held in Evan’s arms, slowly raised the hands he’d been letting hang and patted his back a few times.
“Why don’t you let go?”
At first he stayed still thinking it was a joke, but as the time being embraced grew longer, Siwoo eventually said something. And when he let him go, he pushed him with his hand.
“I’m scared of animals too. So you do it.”
Evan calmly lied and walked matching Siwoo’s stride.
