* * *
Upon leaving the room, the shape of a familiar living room and kitchen came into view. He’d thought “no way,” but as expected, it was the same officetel. Of all things, why did it have to be like this. It was an unfortunate coincidence.
Separately, the fact that they hadn’t run into each other during this time was curious. Eunha had lived here for about three years. Rather than living, it was more in the form of staying like at a hotel, but anyway.
Even in times when there was no internal intimacy, if they’d run into each other even once while coming and going, he felt like he would have looked at him impressively with interest.
Well, maybe he hadn’t moved in long ago. It wasn’t particularly strange. Just that he hoped they wouldn’t run into each other in the future either. Because he didn’t want to provide the man with any more pretext.
The reason he’d overlooked the man who had been circling around like an orbit until now was one thing. It was because there was no proper justification to shake him off. While being irritating, the man hadn’t actually sent any clear signal. He couldn’t show an unusual reaction as if playing both drum and janggu by himself. Because that petty battle of wits was infuriating, he’d even given his number on the level of “try doing something.”
He’d been planning to cut it off the moment he mentioned even a little sexual nuance. Though he didn’t know it would turn out like this within a day.
He thought it was rather for the best. That it would be good to cleanly sort it out at this opportunity.
That was why he readily nodded his head at the question of whether he’d eat. Yeonjun simply filled the table. With bread, jam, cereal, and such. It was a menu that accommodated Eunha’s request that eating a proper meal on a hungover day would rather make his stomach feel heavy.
Eunha sat quietly at the table and calmly ate bread, even accompanying it with the milk Yeonjun had provided.
In the quiet silence, after gauging the timing appropriately, he casually opened his mouth.
“Baek Yeonjun-ssi.”
“Yes.”
“Shall we use this as a substitute for the meal?”
A glance, their eyes met. It was a quiet gaze without any significant change. Eunha impassively continued speaking.
“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t contact me separately using the number I gave you before.”
At the words that openly drew a line, the man had no answer for a while. He only sent a gaze absorbed as if thinking. Just a calm face without any particular sign.
Soon he answered.
“Why?”
“It’s not because I have bad feelings. I showed you too much of my unseemly side yesterday. There were a lot of things going on too.”
“Mm.”
“When I think about facing someone I troubled while making a drunken scene, it’s a bit……”
“……”
“You know what I mean, right?”
It wasn’t entirely an excuse. Because it was also awkward. Though he didn’t know exactly what he’d said, he vaguely remembered the fact itself that he’d brought out some of the emotions deep inside. Dirty emotions he lived with while avoiding them, hating even to face them himself.
It was natural that facing the person to whom he’d exposed his bottom wasn’t pleasant.
“I told you it was fine though.”
“I’m not fine with it.”
At the words that impassively dismissed it, Yeonjun didn’t answer.
He gave no answer at all until the end.
* * *
However, his action became the answer. Because after that, he couldn’t find him at the cafe. A morning like any other. Eunha sipped his coffee while looking around the interior of the cafe, which was particularly full of people.
Perhaps because it was exam period, there were three times more customers than usual. Most of them were people who came alone or in small numbers to study.
Among those many students, Yeonjun wasn’t there. Eunha clicked his tongue lightly while looking at the people studying in the first-floor seats.
How boring…….
Though he’d thought it would be good if he fell away, he didn’t know he’d really hide himself so promptly like this. If he’d known even his exit would be so obedient, should he have brought it up sooner?
Perhaps interest had disappeared because he’d accomplished his purpose.
Well. It didn’t really matter either way. One way or another, he was a connection that would pass by. One of merely numerous, meaningless strangers, to the extent that it was even something to call a connection.
Just, when the person who’d been visible every day disappeared, he did feel a slight sense of emptiness.
He was habitually looking at the seat that had been no different from the man’s reserved spot. Suddenly, vibrations rang out in succession. Eunha checked his phone.
(Photo)
(Photo)
(Photo), (Photo), (Photo)
Without any additional explanation, only photos had arrived. Eunha, who knew that was an intention to show off, immediately checked the attached files one by one with narrowed eyes. A photo of some splendid European cathedral. A photo taken of the interior of a luxurious resort accommodation. A photo taken of the accommodation’s private pool. Photos of exotic food.
It was a message from Kim Taeyoung, who was enjoying a two-month European trip. He was one of the few people with whom Eunha continued a connection while periodically contacting. Excluding friends he’d known for a long time, who were now just naturally like family, Kim Taeyoung was the only one who could be said to be a close acquaintance in a normal relationship.
It wasn’t normal from the start. He’d met him as a sex partner too. He was the partner Eunha had made for the first time in his life around three years ago.
Two years older. While continuing the relationship for three months, Kim Taeyoung was the first to bring up wanting to stop.
What did he say. That if he got more entangled with him, it would become like ruining his own life…… He’d said something roughly like that. The gist was that while spending time together, he honestly felt drawn to him, but since the emotion at the center of that was rooted in pity, he didn’t want it to deepen.
It was a wise judgment. Eunha from three years ago was somewhat not in his right mind. It was a period not long after he’d finally put an end to things after continuing a fight close to destruction for several months with a lover he’d dated throughout his twenties. Unlike now, when he pursued a dry partner relationship, Eunha at that time was in a state where his insides had collapsed to the extent that it was difficult to distinguish right from wrong, and he’d shown so many unseemly things to Kim Taeyoung, with whom he’d shared a lot of time.
Though all his affection could have fallen away, Kim Taeyoung only canceled being partners but didn’t cut off the relationship itself. To Eunha, who belatedly came to his senses and pushed him away, he wasn’t pushed away but rather continued contact while interfering. The reason was that leaving him alone on his own was worrying in its own way.
After that, Kim Taeyoung remained as Eunha’s acquaintance. Because his eye for people wasn’t very good and he’d been caught by trash a couple of times and suffered terrible hardships, he even connected partners directly while feeling sorry for Eunha. Jeong Taegeon was also someone he’d gotten to know through Kim Taeyoung’s connections.
Eunha went back up through the messages he’d exchanged with Kim Taeyoung in reverse. Most of the content was showing off the European trip, and here and there content related to Jeong Taegeon was mixed in. He occasionally talked about partners with him. When he complained as if irritated because an increasingly bad premonition was assaulting him, Kim Taeyoung would respond. Like, “I didn’t know he was that kind of person,” “At this point, I think my eye for people is really stupid,” stuff like that.
But it turned out like this again.
