Eunha blankly looked down at the man who had a hazy light pass through him as if becoming dazed, then became expressionless as if stiffening. Eyes that had sunk as if waterlogged. Those pupils that seemed to have something compressed within them somehow felt lewd, making the heat gather more, so he deliberately stared intently, but in the end he didn’t add any particular demands. Why. For what reason. The more he chewed on it, the harder it was to understand.
He left the cafe at once. He contacted Jeong Taegeon to meet. He threw away his afternoon work and immediately drove his car to the officetel. As soon as he saw Eunha who had arrived first, he pounced on him like a beast. Taking off his suit jacket and loosening his tie, he pressed his lips to his earlobe. Right. How nice would it be if it were this simple, Eunha wrapped his arms around the thick neck.
The fatigue and incomprehensibility accumulated toward Yeonjun over the past month, and that spiteful feeling. His partner’s blatant greed, contrasting with such things, gave birth to more excitement and impatience than usual, and they actively engaged in relations. That was it. It was circumstances that would make Jeong Taegeon quite displeased if he knew.
Would he be displeased that he got turned on elsewhere and contacted him as if looking for a substitute……? No.
Because emotions were mixed in. Because it was after something had grown inside enough to hang a smile on his ear while magnifying such a trivial contact, just one call. Because his satisfaction was great enough to heat his body even after several acts of intercourse.
While he was slowly smoking, Jeong Taegeon, who had been clinging to him, began to squirm his body in earnest. Standing behind, he pulled his waist into an embrace, stroked the bare skin inside his clothing, and moved his lips sloppily along the spinal line exposed above the loose neckline. Eunha twisted his shoulder.
“Don’t leave marks on my neck.”
“Like I don’t know that.”
“Don’t. Outside……”
“Let’s go inside, then.”
“I’m going to smoke one more.”
Jeong Taegeon snickered.
“You know, when I look at you, you’re really a heavy smoker.”
“I smoke a lot to die quickly.”
He replied as if joking. To ventilate the atmosphere that was trying to become dense under Jeong Taegeon’s lead. However, while chuckling, he pressed his lower body even closer. A heavy mass firmly pressed against his buttocks. It was troublesome.
“I’m not doing it anymore.”
“But I am?”
“My back hurts. Because we did it on top earlier……”
Even at the complaint that it hurt, the man, far from stopping, only let out a low breath like someone stimulated. He pressed his lower body even closer and rubbed heavily. He twisted his body a bit more forcefully and pushed his shoulder too, but it wasn’t a very effective resistance. Hot breath spread near his ear.
“Can’t you hear me?”
“I can hear you well. You said you wanted to be fucked until your hole gets raw.”
“What are you saying, really…… Do you have exhibitionism or what? Why outside……”
He tried to smooth things over this way and that, but it all returned to nothing. Seeing no sign of the excitement subsiding, Eunha, who had become resigned to whatever happens, threw away the finished cigarette and took out a new one. Jeong Taegeon, while expressing his situation by firmly pressing his heavy lower body behind, somehow listened to the expression that he didn’t want to do it outside and didn’t try to do anything more. Though he didn’t stop the caresses either. A well-worn sigh flowed out lightly.
It wasn’t sexually unpleasant. In the first place, what would there be to be reserved about in a relationship meeting to do that sort of thing?
It wasn’t that he disliked the relations. The words about his back hurting were also just an excuse. Eunha almost never refused demands for bed. Except when he was really deadly exhausted…… there were few times like that. Because usually when this side collapsed from exhaustion, that side had also exhausted their strength.
It was just that the psychology pooled within the desire was burdensome. Jeong Taegeon’s somewhat lowered threshold was just unsettling. Because he wasn’t originally a person like this.
He couldn’t erase the thought that it had become excessive. The thought that something inside him was changing too. And that it coincided with the subject that had been steadily making Eunha contemplate lately.
“……”
He looked outside with eyes lost in thought. A few days ago, he had seen an article saying summer would arrive early this year too. That from early May the temperature would gradually rise and soon muggy weather like early summer would continue.
Summer……
Eunha, who had been smoking as slowly as possible, suddenly opened his eyes clearly. Like someone whose answer they’d been searching for had become clear.
Soon, breaking and discarding the cigarette, he stretched out his arm.
As if he’d been waiting, the man stretched out his arm in response. His body was caught and his lips were swallowed. He pushed Eunha into the house somewhat hastily.
The sex was smooth yet rough. Deliberately smooth, yet occasionally rough from lack of restraint.
Jeong Taegeon was impatient yet careful, exactly like someone having sex for the first time. It was the best relationship he’d had with him so far, but his mood was disturbed and acrid. The man ejaculated two more times. From about halfway through, Eunha’s stamina was depleted and he felt like passing out, but he just barely endured and offered his body.
After the passionate time ended, Jeong Taegeon, who flopped down beside him, let out a satisfied sigh. Hooking his arm around to embrace Eunha, he whispered in his ear that it was fucking good today. Eunha blinked in the darkness, then grasped with his hand the thick arm wrapped around his neck and shoulders. He twisted his body while gently lowering it.
“I have something to say.”
When he turned around and began, Jeong Taegeon cast a generous gaze.
“What is it?”
It was the most affectionate voice he’d heard so far. Eunha opened his mouth calmly while meeting the eyes focusing on him. He spoke without hesitation. Since he was certain, there was no reason to hesitate.
“Let’s stop this.”
“……What?”
“I want to quit with you.”
It was a tone as plain as his expression. It was his own effort to ensure his words didn’t come across to the other person as some kind of aggressive intention or be seen as an attitude that would cause displeasure. He wanted to finish as nicely as possible. Even though it was the limit, not restraining him even once to stop was for the same reason.
Because he wanted to end it maturely.
Eunha had tried various methods whenever announcing a breakup, but he had never once broken up nicely.
And, it didn’t take long for a savage light to enter the eyes that had been relaxed all along.
* * *
When he left the officetel, it was close to midnight. Eunha, who had stopped abruptly while exiting the building entrance, irritably threw his head back toward the sky. A cool breeze brushed his cheek. Upon meeting the clear air, his head, which had been sizzling as if about to explode, seemed to settle down considerably.
Closing his eyes, he took a long breath in, then exhaled with a whoosh, and the calmed Eunha arbitrarily took steps somewhere.
The officetel was Eunha’s property. Although there was a separate house listed on his registration, Eunha practically lived in the officetel. The distance to the cafe was much closer than from the house, and above all, he didn’t want to bring partners to his house. Because he didn’t want elements of others to mix into his private space.
That house was a space where Eunha had lived with his lover in the past.
They had cohabited for over two years. Of that, the last three months or so were recorded as a section dirtily contaminated as if filth had been poured inside Eunha.
Early June. Eunha, who had been successfully finishing the first semester of his fourth year of university, happened to witness his lover’s affair one day, and spent that entire summer clashing with him, engaging in all sorts of battles. It was called clashing, but it was a time no different from self-destructing while ruining and bursting everything about himself.
After that, he became burdened by summer. With just slight seasonal cues, fragments from that time would freshly come to mind. He became oversensitive, lost sleep every other day, and frequently took sleeping pills and tranquilizers. Even so, sometimes he’d lose it completely. Without discernment, he’d commit acts that would leave only regret once time passed. Gu Haebin, the only friend who knew the inside story, used to describe such Eunha as having caught a fit of madness.
Thus, Eunha tended to cut off his partner at least once before summer came. Because a person who became mentally vulnerable would do anything. Because he knew that well himself.
