Chapter 98
“What? Did you really die?”
“…Yeah. You’re dead.”
Han Jaemin flinched. He apparently hadn’t expected me to actually agree. He quickly composed his expression and looked at me again. I met Han Jaemin’s eyes impassively and continued.
“In my memory, you died. A very long time ago.”
“But here I am, alive. Then what exactly are your memories?”
“…I don’t know.”
“You don’t know? What do you know, then?”
“Han Jaemin.”
“What?”
“I need time to think.”
“What?”
“Can’t you let me freak out after I’ve had time to think?”
“What are you really saying? I’m not your…”
“I’ll really tell you everything after I think it through.”
Han Jaemin let out a genuinely deep sigh. Without adding anything more, I strode into my room. I had planned to shower and lie down, but I didn’t even have the energy to shower. No, it wasn’t that I lacked energy, but rather I couldn’t expend any energy on showering.
“Haah…”
So, based on my experiences and what I’ve articulated so far, this is the situation: I was possessed into a novel I was reading, and under some unknown system, I kept returning to the past even when I died, repeating this strange situation. During this process, I fell in love with Yu Hyunjae, and lived solely to protect Yu Hyunjae and our relationship.
But now a situation has come that denies all these premises.
That is, what if I wasn’t possessed into a novel?
I quietly called out to the system.
“Hey, System.”
<Please state your business.>
“Is this really a novel?”
<That function is not available.>
“Are you sure?”
<That function is not available.>
Ha, haha. I held back the hollow laugh that was about to burst out. I didn’t want Han Jaemin, who was still outside, to hear it. Yes. I couldn’t understand what “function is not available” meant, but now I had an idea. The novel never existed in the first place. If that’s the case, what were those fictional contents that I remember? I needed to figure that out. Those absurd writings spanning several volumes detailing Yu Hyunjae’s “growth” that seemed completely unrelated to this world.
Additionally, why was I repeating the “death” that Yu Dohyun had been performing under the system that belonged to him? Why didn’t Yu Dohyun want… to save me and Yu Hyunjae?
Actually, I could guess the answer to this.
He wanted to live too.
Because he wanted to somehow defy his fate of having to die in order to save me and Yu Hyunjae. I had already realized this answer just before breaking the hidden ending. Everything fit together like puzzle pieces.
I lay on the bed and placed my hand on my aching eyes. My hand was surprisingly cold. Cold enough to make me wonder if I might not be human.
*
“You’re really out of your mind.”
I stared blankly at Go Hankyul’s back as he continued his ceaseless scolding. I had no idea when he had come to ramble like this. Han Jaemin had unexpectedly gone home quietly that day. The news, which I thought would be noisy, was also quiet. Assuming Han Jaemin had pulled some strings, I lay weakly on the sofa.
“Why did you suddenly think of jumping in there?”
Right. If I had given up, only the lives of about 700 people, you, and Lee Joohyun would have been lost. Instead of saying that, I changed the subject.
“Eden South is having a concert.”
“When did you see that? It was just announced today.”
“What else is there to do when I’m stuck at home?”
“Well, are you actually going to go?”
“Is the ticketing tough?”
“…Are you really going to go?”
“Is that not allowed?”
“No… Can you even go? Aren’t you under house arrest right now?”
“Hey, am I some… criminal? Not allowed to do even that?”
“Isn’t Director Han Jaemin keeping you from going out?”
“So are you going to get tickets for me or not?”
“I can get them, but think about it carefully, seriously.”
“Then let’s go.”
“I told you I’m not responsible for this.”
“I got it, jeez.”
I watched Go Hankyul bringing cup ramen with hot water and suddenly blurted out a question.
“Are you really not going to be a Ranker?”
“Why are you suddenly asking about that?”
“I’m just curious how you could go through school properly, major in it, and then just drop it.”
“I don’t know. I’m thinking about it.”
“You’re so relaxed.”
“Hey, we’re only twenty years old! We’re fucking young. Other kids our age are just starting university, drinking and having fun. Shouldn’t we be allowed to play a bit too?”
“I guess so.”
Having received education solely focused on becoming a Ranker since childhood, the concept of resting and having fun didn’t really resonate with me. I fell into thought for a moment before casually saying:
“Maybe I should take a break too.”
“Take a break from what? You?”
“Should I quit being a Ranker and really take a break? There’s more to the world than just Rankers, right? Maybe I’ll open a café? Or maybe a tteokbokki shop?”
“Don’t say things that would piss off a million self-employed people.”
“Why? I could do it too. I think you’re right. We’re fucking young, so why have I only been thinking about being a Ranker? Ah, this is really ridiculous.”
“Are you crazy?”
Go Hankyul paused mid-bite with his chopsticks and scolded me. His face screamed that this was absurd.
“Do I seem crazy to you too?”
“You’ve always been crazy.”
“Right. That’s why I’m saying things like this.”
“…Well, I guess it wouldn’t be impossible.”
“When I think about it, it’s really strange. Why have I been doing this like someone ordered me to? The future isn’t set in stone, right?”
“But you’re saying things that don’t sound like Yu Chanhee at all.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. The Yu Chanhee from two years ago would never have said this.”
“Two years ago?”
“Back then, you were all about… Ranker! Top tier! That kind of vibe.”
“Was I like that?”
“Of course. Isn’t that why you protected Yu Hyunjae? You send him to England to become a Ranker, and here you are talking about opening a tteokbokki shop. What would Yu Hyunjae think if he heard this?”
“He…”
“…”
“You’re right. What would Yu Hyunjae say if I quit being a Ranker?”
“Why are you asking me that? He’d probably say it’s fine. That guy would probably go along with it even if you said you wanted to go to the southernmost village to harvest abalone for a living.”
Puhaha! I couldn’t hold back my laughter and let it out loudly. Go Hankyul started eating his ramen with an indifferent expression.
“He would, right?”
“Don’t you know him by now? Even I know him.”
“No… because Yu Hyunjae’s setting isn’t like that.”
“What are you saying? Setting? Is he a game character?”
“There’s something like that.”
“Then what’s my setting?”
“You?”
Right. You weren’t even in the novel. I looked at Go Hankyul and blurted out:
“You’re… a bug?”
“What the hell, you crazy person.”
Just then, my phone under the sofa started ringing. The caller was Yu Hyunjae. I immediately slid the call button to answer. Since it wasn’t an international call, it seemed he had already returned to Korea.
“What? When did you come back to Korea?”
“Chanhee, you…”
“Just come home first and then talk. Go Hankyul is here too.”
“Hey, Yu Hyunjae, I know you’re pissed, but come and talk first. I’ve been making a fuss too.”
“…Chanhee, seriously.”
“I’m really fine. I’m not hurt anywhere. I’m so fine that I didn’t even need to go to the hospital.”
“Please…”
“You’re coming, right?”
“…Yeah. I’ll get there quickly.”
“Okay. Come safely.”
As soon as I hung up, Go Hankyul grumbled.
“Hey, when he gets here, he’s going to scold you like crazy, so I should just go.”
“Don’t go. He’ll scold me less if you’re here.”
“Am I that important between you two?”
“…Do you want to be?”
“I don’t particularly want to be.”
“What if I tell Yu Hyunjae as soon as he arrives that I want to go to the southernmost village to harvest abalone for a living? How would he react?”
“He’d say you’re crazy.”
“Yu Hyunjae would?”
“He’d give you a look that says ‘Are you crazy…’ and then say okay.”
I looked at my phone screen with a satisfied smile. The screen was filled with a selfie I had taken with Yu Hyunjae. Ah, I really want to just harvest abalone and live with him. For real.
*
…But I had to take back what I just said. Because Yu Hyunjae looked even angrier than I had expected.
“Chanhee, I really don’t want to joke around.”
“…Yeah. I’m not joking either…”
“…”
“Um… sorry.”
At my straightforward apology, Yu Hyunjae bowed his head deeply and collapsed onto the sofa. He looked like he had rushed straight from the airport, disheveled. Go Hankyul had already slipped away.
“But Hyunjae.”
Yu Hyunjae lifted his head to look at me. I maintained the most casual expression possible as I said something with considerable impact.
“Should I quit being a Ranker?”
