Chapter 90
I sat dazed, staring at the spot where the system window had disappeared. Putting together everything that had happened so far, the admin was probably—
“Yu Dohyun…”
Why was Yu Dohyun punishing me like this? The brief access to admin mode suggested it was because a large amount of his mana had been absorbed into me. If that was the case, would I be able to fully control the system once his mana became completely mine? Would I finally be able to escape this endless cycle of death?
“Why…”
Why was he doing this to me? I was just an outsider who had stumbled into this world by accident. Before that, I had been perfectly ordinary… but I couldn’t even remember. My life before coming here had never surfaced in my mind, not even once since I first possessed an eight-year-old’s body.
“Hah…”
Hyung, why are you doing this to me? I thought of Yu Dohyun as he had looked at me when I used necromancy. The face I had assumed was “mine” before possession—maybe it wasn’t me at all, but a false memory implanted by the “admin.” Maybe everything I remembered, including the “novel,” was just an illusion created by the admin…
“Chanhee!”
The door burst open, and Yu Hyunjae rushed toward me. Only then did I notice the dried bloodstains on my face and clothes, blackened and stiff.
“You’re like this again.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. But why are you here?”
Yu Hyunjae licked his dry lips and hesitated.
“Wasn’t I supposed to stay away? Han Jaemin told you not to come, didn’t he?”
“How could I not come after we made eye contact like that?”
“Don’t you hate me?”
Yu Hyunjae looked straight at me as I asked.
“I do.”
“Yeah?”
“I hate that you never listen to me and always end up hurt.”
Yu Hyunjae wiped the dried blood around my face with his sleeve. His crisp white shirt was soon stained.
“Do you know what my first thought was when my parents died?”
Yu Hyunjae didn’t answer.
“I wondered if you’d forgive me now that this had happened.”
“Chanhee.”
“Pathetic, right? Disgusting? But I couldn’t help thinking it.”
……
“That’s why I spent two years under Han Jaemin’s thumb, doing whatever he told me. Why I let myself be a test subject.”
……
“All because I hoped you’d forgive me.”
……
“Even though I knew nothing could make up for it.”
“Chanhee.”
“Yeah?”
“I thought about a lot over the past two years,”
“Yeah?”
“The anger and hatred I felt for you—it was nothing compared to how much I missed you. A hundred times, no, a thousand times more.”
“…Really?”
“Of course. If I’d grown up with my parents, maybe I’d have had a better life. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so hard.”
……
“But the thought of never seeing you again—that was unbearable. I hated myself for feeling that way. That’s why I needed time. To figure out if I could just be honest with my feelings, if that was the right choice for me.”
As I listened to Yu Hyunjae’s honest words, I still couldn’t believe this was real. I even doubted whether Yu Hyunjae could truly forgive me. He continued in a slightly choked voice.
“Just hold on a little longer, even if it’s hard.”
……
“We have to get away from Han Jaemin.”
“…What?”
“That’s the only way we can live.”
“What are you talking about all of a sudden?”
Just then, my phone rang. It was Go Hankyul.
“…Go Hankyul?”
“Yeah. We’ve been in touch a lot lately.”
“Answer it quickly.”
I felt uneasy about the interrupted conversation but picked up the call.
“Hello?”
—Hey!
“What?”
—What’s this about the news? Is it all true?
“…Is that why you called? To ask if it’s true?”
—Did you really use illegal drugs because of Yu Hyunjae?
……
—You liked Yu Hyunjae, didn’t you?
“What?”
—You did! But what’s all this about inferiority complexes and jealousy? Does that even make sense?
“What are you talking about?”
I stammered, unable to hide my confusion as I argued with Go Hankyul.
—I watched you all through high school. You think I don’t know?
“That—that doesn’t make sense. Stop talking nonsense.”
—I’ve observed you for years. Who are you trying to fool?
“Observed?”
—Anyway, this all sounds like bullshit. I expect an explanation when we meet soon. Got it?
“What?”
—Yu Hyunjae’s back, right? You’re gonna meet him. Bring him. I just want the facts.
The absurd, one-sided call ended. I stared blankly at my phone, then looked at Yu Hyunjae.
“What does he know?”
“…I don’t know.”
Yu Hyunjae and I burst out laughing at the same time. Naturally, I buried myself in his arms. It had been so long since I’d smelled him. Our hands instinctively reached for each other’s faces. Yu Hyunjae smiled softly.
“It’s been too long.”
With the biggest questions and unsolvable truths left behind, we kissed. Because right now, the darkness ahead mattered less than the warmth in front of us.
***
I plopped down in the living room, my eyes fixed on the TV. The screen displayed a large image of Yu Hyunjae’s face.
[Hansung Corporation Recruits Yu Hyunjae, First-Grade Hunter from UK MOD Training Institution…]
The bold text filled the screen as the reporter’s voice echoed clearly through the living room.
“It has been reported that Yu Hyunjae immediately contacted Director Han Jaemin upon his return and verbally agreed to join the guild. This can be seen as a solution to suppress the so-called ‘fake ranker’ spectacle of Yu Chanhee and to stabilize the guild, which has been in turmoil.”
As the reporter finished speaking, the screen switched back to the studio where the anchors were seated. They continued discussing the matter.
“It is known that Yu Hyunjae lived in the home of the late Director Yu Gyuhwan of the Security Bureau’s Combat Division during his childhood. This fact was once a topic of controversy related to the death of Ranker Yu Dohyun.”
“Yes, it was widely believed that both Yu Chanhee and Yu Hyunjae were present at the location of Yu Dohyun’s death, and that Yu Hyunjae’s unintentional actions led to Yu Dohyun’s death. Now, it seems we need to re-examine this fact from a different perspective.”
“There are also theories circulating on various portals and communities suggesting that the late Director Yu Gyuhwan may have deliberately placed all the blame on Yu Hyunjae.”
“Yes, it is reported that investigations into this matter will continue.”
This was ridiculous. I turned off the TV after watching that far.
“What am I supposed to do about this now?”
Were they expecting me to fix everything? I smirked, deliberately curling my lips.
[Yu Hyunjae: Are you feeling okay?]
[Yu Hyunjae: If you feel sick again, you have to tell me.]
I stared at Yu Hyunjae’s message for a long time before slowly replying.
[I’m fine. Come quickly.]
[I miss you.]
This was the most sincere I could be right now.
***
For the first time in a long while, I stood in front of the dining table. The island-style kitchen, though decently furnished, looked brand new from disuse. I rummaged through my memories to pull out a frying pan and pot, then started cooking with a clatter. There was no need to add anything to the already prepared side dishes, but I wanted to do something for him.
A somewhat presentable egg roll and soybean sprout soup were completed. Just as I was about to turn off the stove, the front door opened.
“Yu Hyunjae!”
“Wow, what’s that smell?”
“Did you even eat proper Korean food in England? Of course you didn’t.”
“Uh… just whatever, I guess?”
“This is something special I made just for you.”
Yu Hyunjae smiled as he looked at the neatly set table. I had taken out every side dish from the fridge, so the table was packed with no room to spare.
“Wow, did you make all this?”
“Not all of it, but I did make some of it.”
Just the soup and one side dish, but whatever. I mumbled and sat Yu Hyunjae down at the table.
“Eat quickly.”
“Okay.”
Yu Hyunjae kept exclaiming in surprise as he tried a few side dishes.
“This is so good!”
“Right? Hey, try this too.”
I pointed at the egg roll he hadn’t touched yet.
“It looks warm. Did you just make it?”
“Try it, quickly.”
Yu Hyunjae picked up the awkwardly cut egg roll and put it in his mouth. After chewing for a while, he swallowed.
“How is it?”
“Uh…”
“Does it taste bad?”
“No, it’s so good I want to keep it all to myself.”
“What?”
“I—I mean, you don’t have to eat it. You probably made it, so you’re not even hungry, right?”
“Hey, does it taste bad?”
“No! It’s just really good… to me.”
“To you?”
“I mean, it might not suit everyone’s taste, but it’s perfect for me.”
Yu Hyunjae frantically defended himself and then tried the soybean sprout soup.
“Wow.”
“What?”
“How does it taste this good?”
“…Is that a compliment or an insult?”
“A compliment…… I’ll eat it all myself.”
“Hey, if it’s bad, don’t eat it.”
“No, I said I’ll eat it all!”
Yu Hyunjae and I bickered and laughed our way through the meal. This undisturbed time together was more precious than anything else.
