Chapter 82
I was released surprisingly easily for someone who had just been kidnapped. I had to rush home in my school uniform to show my face, so I hurried back. Ironically, that middle-aged woman even gave me a warm farewell.
“Chanhee!”
Mom rushed toward me like a waterfall. I took in the sight of my father, mother, and Yu Hyunjae, all staring at me with hollow expressions. Everyone was there.
In the taxi on the way home, Han Jaemin sent me unpleasant messages:
[Answer my calls on time from now on.]
[If I get really pissed, even I don’t know what I’ll do.]
“What happened while I was gone?”
“What could’ve happened here? You were the problem.”
Father didn’t say a word, just stared at me. In the end, I was forbidden from going to school. Father decided it was too dangerous to let me attend anymore. Naturally, Yu Hyunjae ended up staying home, too.
I decided to go upstairs to my room and get some rest. I didn’t know what they’d injected me with at the hospital, but my stomach felt off. It wasn’t debilitating, but the world kept swaying like I was seasick. I figured a nap would fix it, so I collapsed onto my bed.
……
“Hee—Chanhee!”
Someone shook me violently, and I barely opened my eyes. Yu Hyunjae’s pale face loomed over me as he woke me up. I slowly sat up. The dizziness lasted only a moment before I noticed the blood—soaking through my T-shirt and staining the bed. I quickly checked if I was still bleeding. It wasn’t gushing, but a steady trickle of fresh blood kept flowing.
“Have I been like this the whole time?”
“I just got here, and you’ve been bleeding.”
“……I did feel off before I went to sleep.”
“Why are you saying that so calmly?”
I tried to get up but nearly collapsed into Yu Hyunjae’s arms. Despite the dire situation, the scene felt like something out of a shoujo manga, and I let out a dry chuckle. His white T-shirt quickly turned red with blood.
“Oh, is this a new shirt?”
“Is that what matters right now?”
“First… we should call them. The National Mana Research Institute.”
“Is the doctor’s number saved in your phone?”
“Yeah. Dr. Jeon Jeongwoo.”
Yu Hyunjae quickly checked my call history and dialed Dr. Jeon. The rest happened fast. Lying in the same hospital bed again, I faced Dr. Jeon’s serious expression with forced nonchalance.
“What the hell did you do?”
“What do you mean?”
“Did you take drugs? Stimulants?”
“You sure don’t hold back with a student.”
“I’m asking why your mana, which was stabilizing, is suddenly going haywire again.”
Yu Hyunjae answered for me.
“Yesterday… Chanhee was kidnapped for a bit. By Han Jaemin’s people.”
Dr. Jeon’s expression shifted subtly.
“So… did you go to Hansung Hospital?”
“Yeah. Probably. He was wearing their patient gown.”
“Then… did they conduct research on you there?”
“……I don’t know about research, but they hooked him up to a ton of IVs. Needles everywhere, even in his ankles.”
Dr. Jeon examined the bruises on my arms and legs.
“It seems like they injected untested experimental drugs.”
“Is that even legal?”
I already knew it was a stupid question. The motive itself was illegal, and the research purpose was shrouded in secrecy. They’d taken me as a test subject—what they did after that wasn’t something I could protest.
“Legal or not, just stay as far away from them as possible.”
“Didn’t you talk to my father?”
Dr. Jeon looked at me sharply over his glasses.
“I don’t want to be involved. It’s just not possible.”
Dr. Jeon didn’t bother hiding his exasperation—or maybe it was exhaustion.
“I don’t care about your personal entanglements with them, Chanhee. But as a research subject, you need to prioritize preserving your body.”
“Did you miss the part where I said I don’t want to be involved? Do I have to live just for your research?”
“Chanhee.”
Dr. Jeon continued calmly.
“If this condition doesn’t improve, you’ll die. And saving you is, at the very least, my professional duty right now.”
What if I say I don’t need to live? Would you really just drop your interest in me then?
I knew it was selfishness disguised as concern for his research.
“……I understand.”
But I answered obediently. Because Yu Hyunjae was right beside me.
Dr. Jeon, satisfied, fiddled with the machine connected to the needle in my arm before speaking again.
“For now, just rest.”
“I will.”
“Having Yu Hyunjae here… wouldn’t be a bad idea.”
Dr. Jeon glanced at Yu Hyunjae. Without a word, Yu Hyunjae pulled a chair up to the bed and sat down heavily. It was an oddly comical setup.
“At least while you’re resting, try to talk about pleasant things rather than unpleasant ones.”
With that, Dr. Jeon left the room to greet my father, who was talking to someone outside. At Father’s instruction, a few men in black suits took up positions outside my hospital room door. I tried to eavesdrop on their conversation, but the soundproofing was so thorough I could only hear muffled murmurs.
“This seems too dangerous.”
Yu Hyunjae suddenly said that. At first, I thought I’d misheard.
“It’s too dangerous for you to be here alone.”
“Took you long enough to realize that. Why the sudden concern?”
“I thought your father could protect you from Han Jaemin no matter what.”
“That was a stupid thought.”
“……Yeah.”
Yu Hyunjae looked lost in thought.
“I don’t think I can go study abroad.”
“Huh?”
“I just… can’t leave you like this.”
“Even if you’re here, you can’t do anything.”
“Seeing you with my own eyes and just believing you’re okay are different things.”
I tried to reason with him calmly.
“How are you going to convince my father? And objectively, it’s a good opportunity. I’ll survive no matter what. Han Jaemin won’t kill me. So just… do what you want.”
“What I want?”
“Yeah. What you want.”
“You don’t know what I really want.”
Yu Hyunjae’s quiet question left me speechless.
“What do you think I really want?”
“……To get stronger.”
I recalled the moment Yu Hyunjae had said he wanted to get stronger—for no other reason than me. So in the end, everything only made sense if I stayed alive.
“I’ve trusted you completely until now. I tried to.”
……
“When you said you’d survive, I believed you. When you said you wouldn’t let go even if you died, I believed that, too. Because you… weren’t really Yu Chanhee. I thought there was something solid and safe about you that I didn’t know.”
“……And now?”
“Now?”
Yu Hyunjae let out a small, bitter laugh.
“I can’t trust you.”
The words “I can’t trust you” made my heart lurch violently. It felt like my organs were shaking, like an earthquake inside me—one wrong move and my heart would burst out of my chest.
“Since I can’t trust you, I think it’s better to just stay by your side 24/7.”
“Because you can’t trust me?”
“Because I can’t trust you.”
I nodded obediently. I couldn’t blame him for his distrust. No matter how miserable I felt, no matter how far I fell, his distrust had valid reasons. I had no right to challenge it.
Yu Hyunjae seemed surprised that I accepted it so quietly. I finally managed to open my stiff lips and added a condition in a hoarse voice.
“Decide after hearing one thing.”
“One thing?”
“The secret you’ve always wanted to hear.”
……
“After hearing it… if you still want to stay by my side, then decide.”
Yu Hyunjae just stared at me silently.
“I won’t say anything about your decision after that.”
I slowly closed and opened my eyes. No matter how many times I repeated it, the same place, the same situation, the same time greeted me. Now, just by opening and closing my eyes, I had to face the uncomfortable, cruel truth I couldn’t escape.
All the scenarios I’d imagined since I was certain this moment would come flashed before me: me coldly listing the facts, me crying and begging him not to leave me, pleading for forgiveness. But all of that was just imagination. Reality was right in front of me, staring blankly.
“Han Jaemin told me.”
……
“Your father is cruel, vicious, a psychopath.”
……
“It’s true. And I’m his son. That’s an undeniable fact.”
Yu Hyunjae’s eyes were already trembling as if he’d guessed everything. I forced out each word, my voice shaking.
“My father killed someone.”
My heart pounded harder. My limbs started to turn pale, starting from my hands.
“And then… he brought that person’s child home and raised him.”
I bowed my head so low it nearly touched the ground. The veins in my bloodless hands bulged. I’d tensed up uselessly.
“I don’t know if my brother knew or if it was just a coincidence.”
“……I get it.”
“When I found out—”
“You don’t have to say more.”
“I really couldn’t do anything.”
“Stop.”
“It’s true. I didn’t know. I couldn’t do anything. I was powerless.”
Yu Hyunjae stared blankly into space, unable to hide his shock. A heavy, dark silence settled between us.
I… did the only realistic thing I could think of out of all the scenarios I’d imagined.
“I’m sorry.”
Yu Hyunjae didn’t react to my words. He just kept staring at nothing with empty eyes.
I realized—we, no, I—no, Yu Hyunjae—and everything surrounding us could never go back to how it was before. Not even if I died and turned back time.
