Chapter 70
I tried to reason it away, but the chills crawling down my spine wouldn’t stop. I had to know why Yu Dohyun looked exactly like me—like the me from before. If there was a reason, why did it have to be this? Actually, now that I thought about it, Hyunjae was wrong. Yu Dohyun did look a lot like Yu Chanhee. I remembered how Cha Suhyun used to look at me and see him in my first life.
“I’m such an idiot…”
Why hadn’t I put it together sooner? Why hadn’t I even considered it? Because I’d thought it was impossible, that’s why. I’d always been careless like that, ruining my own life over and over again. I covered my face with my left arm, and my already dim vision plunged into total blackness. Maybe I should just stay here, lost in this endless void forever.
No.
The thought alone made me laugh bitterly. I didn’t want that. I just wanted to live happily with Hyunjae. Was that really too much to ask? What had we ever done to Yu Dohyun? How had we messed up his life?
***
The next day, we went to school like nothing had happened. Like we hadn’t been drenched in blood, screaming at each other just yesterday. I slung my bag over my shoulder, straightened my uniform, and left my room. My mom had started walking us all the way to the front gate, her face tense with worry.
“Just take the driver’s car. Why do you always insist on the bus?”
“I hate standing out.”
She couldn’t hide her suspicion. Even that look exhausted me, so I grabbed Hyunjae’s hand and pulled him out of the alley before she could say more. There was something oddly fun about holding hands subtly in the packed school bus. The second we stepped off, a distant “Hey!” reached us—Go Hankyul.
“We’re dead. Seriously.”
“Why?”
“The homeroom teacher found out we skipped school the day before yesterday.”
Oh. Right. That had happened. I’d skipped school to spend time with Hyunjae, convinced it would be our last chance. I let out an “Oh,” as it all came back to me.
“Knowing won’t help. We’re dead.”
“This is bad, right?”
Hyunjae teased me, his voice light. Hankyul stared at us like we’d lost our minds, unable to believe we were taking this so casually.
“Are you guys crazy? If your parents get a call about demerits, you’ll freak out.”
“That’s rough. I’d rather just get hit.”
“Teachers don’t hit kids these days. They know they’ll get in trouble if they lay a finger on top-tier students like you.”
Hankyul’s expression was dead serious, but we just kept laughing until he threw his hands up and treated us like lunatics. The second we walked into the classroom, morning assembly started—and the teacher beckoned us over.
“Come here.”
We shuffled forward, sheepish.
“Yu Chanhee. Why did you, of all people, follow these idiots and skip school? Yu Hyunjae—same goes for you. I thought you were the mature one.”
“Teacher, why don’t you say I’m mature too?”
Hankyul whined, his voice pitiful.
“It’s written all over your face. You’re the one who dragged them into this, right?”
“N-No, I didn’t—”
“Yeah, you did. Admit it.”
“I just… asked casually.”
“Casually? Oh, really? You must’ve asked real casually.”
“Seriously! Hey, you guys, back me up!”
We exchanged glances and snickered.
“Anyway, you instigated it, right?”
“Ah! Teacher—”
“Three demerits each. Go Hankyul, you get four.”
Hankyul stamped his foot in frustration. Four? We all did the same thing! One more point and my parents would get called. Hyunjae and I exchanged awkward looks and chuckled.
***
“Hey, look on the bright side. At least they didn’t call home.”
“But I don’t trust myself to go a whole year without losing another point!”
“Come on, Hankyul. It’s not like you’re in mortal danger. It’s just demerits.”
“Just? JUUUST? Do you really think that’s a fair comparison?”
“No, it is. Think about it—it’s better than dying, right? Then you can be more positive. See?”
“Even you, Yu Chanhee? You’re usually cold as hell, and now you’re suddenly all emotional and shit.”
“I’m actually really emotional? I cry when I listen to sad songs and stuff.”
“Are you messing with me?”
Hankyul looked at us like we’d lost it, and Hyunjae and I burst out laughing. You guys are all so annoying. Hankyul, genuinely upset, stormed ahead of us.
“Hey! Let’s go to the school store!”
“Get lost. Go by yourselves.”
“Hankyul’s really pissed, huh?”
“Leave him. He’ll get over it.”
I grabbed Hyunjae’s arm and tugged him along.
“We still have 30 minutes of lunch break left. Let’s go.”
Hyunjae pretended to resist but let me pull him forward. The cherry blossom-lined path was nearly empty. The moment we turned down the hidden shortcut, the same scene from two days ago unfolded before us.
“It’s weirdly the same.”
“Only two days have passed.”
“Only two days?”
“Well, it felt like two years, but…”
We lay down side by side. After staring at the sky for a moment, I suddenly sat up and crossed my legs. I patted my thighs.
“Bugs are biting. Lie on my lap.”
Hyunjae looked flustered. When I patted my thighs again, he slowly inched closer and rested his face where I’d indicated. I picked bits of grass from his hair.
“Hey.”
Hyunjae squinted up at me, the sunlight in his eyes.
“How are you so good-looking?”
“Huh?”
“Seriously, you know it too. Look in the mirror.”
“What are you talking about all of a sudden?”
Hyunjae tried to laugh it off, but I kept pressing him, my expression serious.
“What’s it like to live with a face like yours?”
“You’re good-looking too…”
“I know I’m not ugly, but you’re way better-looking than me.”
“No, Chanhee. You’re the prettiest to me.”
He tried to dodge, but I kept pushing.
“Stop avoiding it. Answer me. What does it feel like?”
“I don’t know…”
“How many times have you been asked for your number on the street? Be honest.”
“Why are you asking me that…”
“Oh, so you have been asked, huh?”
“No, that’s not what I—”
“You’ve been street-cast too, right? Admit it.”
Hyunjae buried his face in my torso, embarrassed. I shook him, demanding an answer. The more he refused, the more stubborn I became.
“Why can’t you say it? Do you have something to hide?”
“Hide? No, Chanhee, I really don’t have anything—”
Hyunjae turned back to me, defending himself in a rush. His expression only made me sulkier.
“Then why can’t you say it?”
“Because… it’s embarrassing.”
“Ugh, annoying.”
I snapped. Hyunjae glanced at me cautiously.
“Are you… jealous?”
I scoffed. Me? Jealous?
“Jealous? Me?”
“N-No, I didn’t think so. Don’t be mad.”
“Jealous?”
But the more I thought about it, the more it seemed true. I muttered, almost to myself,
“I guess I am jealous.”
“Huh?”
“I’m jealous, I guess.”
Hyunjae was stunned by my blunt—almost icy—admission. I pinched his cheeks and said petulantly,
“If someone cuter, better-looking, or prettier than me asks for your number, will you give it to them?”
“No. Never.”
“What if someone on the street asks for your number, saying they want you to be an idol? Will you give it to them?”
“No!”
“What if we break up? Will you still not see anyone else?”
Hyunjae suddenly sat up. He grabbed my face with both hands, his expression deadly serious.
“Don’t say things like that.”
“Huh?”
“Don’t. I hate even thinking about it.”
“Uh…”
I mumbled, and Hyunjae leaned in, pressing his lips firmly against mine, like a stamp.
“I’ll never break up with you.”
Another kiss.
“Never.”
Another kiss.
“Why aren’t you answering?”
I finally grabbed Hyunjae’s shoulders and blurted out, “I won’t. I really won’t.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“You promise too.”
“What?”
“Don’t look at anyone better than me, no matter how good-looking, pretty, or talented they are.”
I ended up nodding absentmindedly. Hyunjae, finding me cute, ruffled my hair and kissed my forehead. It felt… really nice. I smiled.
“I wish this moment could last forever.”
“It will.”
Hyunjae said it with absolute confidence. For some reason, when he said it like that, it felt like it could happen. Even though I knew it couldn’t, I wanted his resolute words to become reality. Like a sweet dream in the middle of a dystopia, the darker the world, the brighter Hyunjae shone for me.
